Maybe if I start screaming obscenities, they will make me go home.
Not that I particularly want to go home. What I want to do is run away somewhere and cry until I am fine again.

That's what I used to do when I'd had too much. I'd run away. Can't run away from my own kid. And instead of letting it go and letting me work, my brain keeps thinking things like. "Why are you working?" and I think "For my son". Then my brain says "He doesn't really appreciate it, so what's the point?"

He is a kid, he doesn't appreciate it, he would prolly rather have me at home with him. But I have to work. That is the thing with children, they don't really get how good they have it.

To have no responsibilities again? Wow, ok, so I might be a crack whore without something to push me along.

Just keep thinking, "This too shall pass", and not "Why am I here?, who am I doing this for?, Why does my boyfriend not make me feel secure enough in our relationship?, Can he ever make me feel secure enough, even though I am socially retarded?"

Oh MY GOD, can I have my lobotomy please. I don't want to think anymore.

Comments

Brandy said…
I can't labotomize you...
but I can give you chocolates :)

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