Random Thoughts

Was thinking about parenting this week as my child was preparing to leave my “nest” for Portland for 7 long weeks…(they feel long now, will no doubt fly by as life does). Most everything is a double edged sword. You try doing something this way or that way and suddenly an entirely different problem will present itself. Life is weird like that. For instance – I often find myself telling people how my kid is sheltered, a bit naïve and I’ll always follow that up with something along the lines of liking it that way. To an extent, that is true. I do appreciate his naiveté in the face of so many, many kids his age running around and knowing “too much” about things I feel are adult topics. Flip that coin though….he’s also less mature. And maybe less prepared to deal with issues should they arise. Things like sex, boobs, drugs….I honestly don’t know which way he’d go. When I was trying to feel him out the other night after his promotion ceremony about any girls he may have had crushes...

Just when I think I am being better about cross posting from MySpace, I do something like this. I don't hate you blogger, it's just that a lot more people comment on MySpace, plus I get more legit hits instead of people searching for random crap on the internet. I know, I suck, I don't know when MySpace became my bigger blog, but it apparently has. Oh yeah, this was supposed to be posted Friday, the part that I didn't post to MySpace is this - I'm seriously still freaked out. Like I don't really want my kid leaving the house, or running, or making motions near his head at all. It's my anxiety getting the better of me. I'm trying to fight it, but really I just want to cry for about a thousand hours and try to feel better. I mean..my kid's mouth is RUINED. All by two teeth. He doesn't view it this way, and I know I'm just being melodramatic, but I'm so very worried about what I'm feeding him and everything, just in case it could pop off...

Don't you hate THOSE phone calls? The ones from the school where your kid is? Lately those calls have been focused on my child's behavior, or lack of behavior in certain situations. Very rarely is it a hurt call. It has happened, like that one time when he hit his tail bone and managed to bruise it. He got to come home for that one, I think he even stayed home the next day. These things seem to largely happen on Thursday, which tends to be my busiest day at work, but there isn't much to do when your kid does something like this. I groaned when she said it was the school's office. Until she mentioned the word accident. At least that's what permeated to my brain. She may have started with more than just "there's been an accident", but that seems to be all I really heard. How that word sets my heart to racing. Probably any mom's heart. He slipped (tripped? He said both words) on a jump rope and went face first into the concrete. I'm so very lucky ...

I'm completely blanking on relevant song lyrics lately. You know what else? I email myself ideas all the time. My hotmail account has like...10 pages of emails from me. Little ideas to blog about, more fleshed out ideas. And yet I can't ever seem to just sit and branch out on the ideas. Then I get pissed when I want to type but don't have anything to say. But I tend to forget about the emailed ideas until I go clean out my Hotmail account. Which I hadn't checked since September last time I looked at it. I get home and I mean to post and then all I can do is get my kid to bed, eat dinner, and sit on the bed with Ben and chill. I don't even look at the computer. Part of it is self preservation as I know that I could very well look up and realize it's almost midnight and I have to get up at 6! I'm too old to stay up so late. Especially since I wake often in the night. I'm convinced I need a sleep number bed. It will make my waking up not happen. Sure. LOL. ...

I just spent the better part of an hour listening to my son. Most of it went way over the top of my head (what the hell is a po anyway?) and I fear I am destined to be the square mom who doesn't know anything cool. Not that I haven't tried, I keep up with current music, but he only likes Ben's music I guess. Not sure if he connects with it cause Ben is a boy and I am not or what. We spent about...10 minutes talking about swimming and him going up to Portland soon and if he likes his baby sister better now that she is older and less squally. The rest of the time? Video games. I was kind of wondering how long he could go on and the answer to that folks? FOREVER. Really. Since I play..well, the most current game I play with any regularity is Crash Team Racing, and mostly Mario and Sonic, I really have no damn idea about his video games. They are all RPG and the bane of my existence. LOL. Not really. But seriously? I don't care much for them. I don't have that kind of t...

Last month marked the 19th year since my Grandma died. I don't know exactly what day. I only know that we had the funeral and my little sister Angie was born the day after. So, sometime before March 23, 1988. I still remember her. I idolized her. With her over the top blue eye make up, with her mole in the middle of her back (I inherited that mole), and her permed hair. She always seemed so strong. I KNEW that she was taking care of everything even if my mom couldn't. Mom and I lived with her for a little while when I was younger. I don't necessarily remember living with her. I remember her little dog, Smoky. (I'll get you and your little dog too! hee hee) I remember how she extended her eye liner out to look like cat eyes. Any time I see some young person wearing their make up like that I think about my grandma. I remember how she always took baths. She didn't like the water on her face from the shower. Which seems strange to me now, seeing as how she always seemed...

I've been thinking a lot about my fat excuses after that last post. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about all my excuses. Because I use a lot. I hope I'm not the anamoly. I hope a lot of people have excuses. It's that whole head in the sand thing. I don't know how to explain it, but I was just thinking about how many times I'll be thinking about some shortcoming or another of mine and then think...well, my parents didn't do this or that for me. Shouldn't I be trying to make myself a better person if only to SPITE the way I was brought up? Or is that the wrong reason to want to better yourself? I just know how annoying it is to me when Derek has a million excuses for why he did something he wasn't supposed to. I don't care WHY, I only care that it happened. Perhaps that's the wrong way to look at it. Tied in with all this is this information we went over in our payroll meeting about "generation Y", born between 1977 and 1994. Ther...