Random Thoughts

Underpants make GREAT hats. I HATE YOU CARTOON NETWORK. Besides Adult Swim.

DAMN the Cartoon Network... This show that I am (not really) watching has "Kid's advice" at the bottom. One of them just said.."If it makes mom laugh, do it TWENTY more times." Are they TRYING to drive me crazy? Often something that was funny is VERY annoying after only the TENTH time. He REPEATS HIMSELF ALL THE TIME. I think he got it from them. Damn them.

The kid lost another tooth the other day. More like he pulled out another tooth. I got it all set up, in an envelope and I wrote "Tooth Fairy" on it, in my almost cursive writing. The kid looks at me...and in all seriousness, goes.... "Do you think the tooth fairy can read cursive?" "Yeah, I think she might." "Well, I'm just saying, it's kinda light and it's in cursive." I was like...."Well, she IS a little magical right? How else would she know your tooth was gone? And how could she come and get it? I think she'll know that this envelope is for her." The funniest thing about it? I ALMOST FORGOT. I remembered that morning and had to run in and be VEWWY quiet and take his tooth. And he got another dollar. Between his left over birthday money and the new dollar, the kid has FAR more disposable income than I do. There is something SO wrong with that. :)

In honor of Fiona's new album...THAT I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT. I'm slipping, people. HOW DID I NOT KNOW????? Whatever, it's annoying, cause it's not exactly the time to be buying myself presents. *pout* I've bolded the best part of the song, as I am known to do. Paper Bag Fiona Apple I was staring at the sky just looking for a star To pray on, or wish on, or something like that I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy Whose reality i knew, was a hopeless to be had But then the dove of hope began its downward slope And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed But as it came down near, so did a weary tear I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag *chorus* Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills Cuz I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold hunger hurts, but starving works When it costs too much to love And I went crazy again today, Looking for a strand to c...

I had a WEIRD dream again last night. No, I didn't eat anything strange, I'm just fucked up. I talked with a co worker yesterday about my family and how I haven't seen them. First, I had a strange dream that my Grandpa sent me enough money to get on a plane. But only me, not Derek. So, I couldn't go. :( Then, after waking up at FUCKING 4 for NO reason, I was awaje until 5. I finally fell back asleep and had this dream. My mom came to visit (I thought) and she decided to take over my life. My boyfriend (which wasn't Ben - he might have been Steve Zahn at one point. He seemed to change every so often), my house, EVERYTHING. I was pissed and screamed at her FOREVER and she was just like...yep, whatever. (Do you even have that completely POWERLESS feeling? It happened to me when I knew Paul was leaving town the very first time and I KNEW there was nothing I could do about it. Hindsight is 20/20 though, I woulda been better off if he'd never come back. Oh well.) I br...

Foreshadowing......oooooh. These Dreams Heart Spare a little candle Save some light for me Figures up ahead Moving in the trees White skin in linen Perfume on my wrist And the full moon that hangs over These dreams in the mist Darkness on the edge Shadows where I stand I search for the time On a watch with no hands I want to see you clearly Come closer than this But all I remember Are the dreams in the mist These dreams go on when I close my eyes Every second of the night I live another life These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away Is it cloak and dagger Could it be spring or fall? I walk without a cut Through a stained glass wall Weaker in my eyesight The candle in my grip And words that have no form Are falling from my lips These dreams go on when I close my eyes Every second of the night I live another life These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away There's s...

Jake got someone else pregnant. On purpose. It's a little strange to know they finally succeeded. I'm glad for her, cause I know that she doesn't have a whole lot of time in which she can get pregnant. I'm also a little sorry for her. She's gonna have to deal with Jake while being pregnant. And I know ALL about that. It wasn't a pleasant ordeal for the most part. Not that he knows that. He prolly thought it went well. And the pregnancy did, just not the hormones. In somewhat related news, Derek's facial expressions remind me more and more of Jake. He'll do something and I'll be shocked anew by how much he looks like him. When he was a baby, he looked more like my side of the family and myself as a baby, but now.... It's just strange, is all I'm saying. Things are strange all around.

So, I have a problem. EVERY TIME I HEARD THIS SONG TODAY, I THOUGHT ABOUT THE WEIRD AL SONG INSTEAD. And I HATE Weird Al. Gangsta's Paradise Coolio As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life And realize there's nothin' left 'Cause I've been brassin' and laughin' so long that, Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of You betta watch how ya talking And where ya walking Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk I really hate to trip but I gotta lope As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool I'm the kinda g that little homie's wanna be like On my knees in the night Saying prayers in the street light Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise (x2) Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise (x2) They death of situation, they got me facing I can...

So, I was all set to do a thankfulness post. But I got sidetracked. I fell a little more in love with my site meter. GO SITE METER. And found too many quizzes. Instead the idea had just been bouncing around in my brain since Thursday. Here it is, for your reading pleasure. I'm thankful for...... My Kid My Boyfriend My friends My family The FANTASTIC turkey we made. It's NEVER turned out as good as it did this year. Laying around in bed all day and only getting up to make turkey. The bath I took for two hours on Thanksgiving, cause I had NOTHING better to do :P YAY me! The roof over my head My job BOOKS! I almost finished one in the bath during that long bath. My computer The internet MUSIC. BOOBS. My soft, warm bed. Sex. The holiday pay CHEESE. Jeans Hot Chocolate BLOGS Aqua Teen Hunger Force Quilts

I love this line in particular - If you wanna make sense, what you lookin' at me for? A Mistake Fiona Apple I’m gonna make a mistake I’m gonna do it on purpose I’m gonna waste my time Cuz I’m full as a tick And I’m scratching at the surface And what I find is mine And when the day is done, and I look back And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around All the advice I shunned, and I ran Where they told me not to run, but I sure Had fun, so I’m gonna fuck it up again I’m gonna do another detour Unpave my path And if you wanna make sense Whatcha looking at me for I’m no good at math And when I find my way back, The fact is I just may stay, or I may not I’ve acquired quite a taste For a well-made mistake I wanna make a mistake why can’t I make a mistake? I’m always doing what I think I should Almost always doing everybody good Why- Do I wanna do right, of course but Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to Answer you, hell no I’ve acquired quite a taste For a well-made mistake, I wanna Make a...

In trying to see who had been to my site a bunch yesterday, I came across one IP address in particular. Prolly the same person who took a bunch of my FRIEND'S names and left comments for them. I could be wrong, but whoever it was, spent a HELL of a lot of time here yesterday. I'm thinking it's cause they have far too much time on their hands and they can't make their own blog. They can't put themselves out there. Only cowards comment anonymously. Cause then they might get some nasty comments and god forbid THEY be criticized. Anyhow, this was the IP address that kept coming up. Domain Name (Unknown) IP Address 159.251.88.# (University Medical Center) ISP University Medical Center Location Continent : North America Country : United States (Facts) State : Missouri City : Saint Louis Lat/Long : 38.6254, -90.2681 (Map) Someone apparently using a public computer, or their own personal one. I don't know, MAYBE whoever left the mean comments has eno...

Jesse is gone. I can only take small doses of that boy. Ariel has ruined me....she comes over, has MAYBE one drink and hangs out with me for nothing. Jesse comes over, HAS to be trashed and then starts again in the morning. Without asking for the first drink I might add. Then he whined at me until I gave him a beer. And tried to tell me that he DIDN'T even have that much the night before. He finished the vodka basically. And I had at least half a bottle left. Anyhow, he left, after saying maybe he would stay longer, and I was like.....not if you ask me for another beer cause it ain't gonna happen. When people whine at me, I am SO MUCH MORE LIKELY to be a bitch about it. Cause don't whine at me. DAMN! I slept late, it's gonna be hard to fall asleep terribly early tonight, but I have to work tomorrow, so I better get to it.

Can ANYONE tell me why MEN ALWAYS SAY...oh yeah, I LOVE to go down on a girl. But it's not like it happens EVERY time? And if they loved it enough, wouldn't they do it as MUCH AS THEY COULD. Is it just me? Do all you women out there have a hard time getting your man outta there? Cause I can't help but think they just SAY that. Or maybe it's just me. In completely unrelated news, I've introduced yet ANOTHER unsuspecting person to Micheal Buble. Jesse was like..DAMN YOU!. I'm not sure why. Something about the Van Morrison version SHOULD be better. I think I might love this guy a little. No, not Jesse, Micheal. Even though I don't do well with that name. It's cocktail music that if FUCKING cool. It's not sad and depressing, which goes well with alcohol, right?

WHY ARE WE NOW TALKING ABOUT WEIRD SEXUAL THINGS NOW? Things like Donkey Punch and all that bullcrap. Jesse didn't know what Donkey Punch meant. There's ANOTHER person I've helped impart this news on. I feel bad and dirty, a little. Now he's sharing his own sexual things. Wow, this might be the grossest thing I've talked about in my house.

Your Hair Should Be Pink Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow. What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your Pimp Name Is... Princess Pump What's Your Pimp Name?

You Are Not Scary Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet? How Scary Are You?

Your Blog Should Be Red Your blog is full of intensity and passion. You are very opinionated - and people love or hate you for it. You have the potential to be both a famous and infamous blogger. What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

You Are 60% Weird You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! How Weird Are You?

I wouldn't drink it, but whatever. You Are Corn on the Cob Soda Like sucking on a stick of butter What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK] You are a Conspiracy Theorist ! Holy cow! You actually did an online quiz? Little did you realise that the information you gave us is being sent to an unknown government agency for evil use against you! Don't try to leave, we are already watching. More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

They are being annoying and playing crappy video games that I hate. So I shall steal these from Karina and answer them. (the cat is STILL outside :s) Here are ten questions put together for me to get to know you better. Answer, then repost in your journal if you like. :) 1) What's the best compliment anyone could give you? Jared (the pig) actually complimented me once about how he didn't think I would make a good mother, but he was wrong. 2) What material thing will you never give up? My Cds. I have LOVED them since I got my first one. I bought it even before I had a CD player. It was a dollar and it was the Soundtrack to the Crow. All I cared about was it had Dead Souls on it. And I love me some NIN. 3) What's one thing you'll never do again? Go out with anyone who can't take care of themselves on a regular basis. 4) What's your nickname? Des, for the most part. It's easy. And that's what nicknames are all about. 5) What's the biggest misperception ...

So, three guesses why this song catches my attention and the first two don't count. My Best Friend's Girl The Cars You're always dancing down the street With your suede blue eyes And every new boy that you meet He doesn't know the real surprise Here she comes again When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky She'll make you flip (here she comes again) When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky You kinda like the way she dips She's my best friend's girl She's my best friend's girl And she used to be mine You've got your nuclear boots And your drip dry gloves And when you bite your lip It's some reaction to love, the love, a love Here she comes again When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky She'll make you flip (here she comes again) When she's dancing 'neath the starry sky (here she comes again) You kinda like the way, ya like the way she dips She's my best friend's girl She's my best friend's gir...

The reason I don't sing in front of people if I can help it? When I do...and it DOES happen. And I happen to hear ANYONE who MIGHT have heard me laughing, I am CONVINCED they are laughing about me. Cause I am so AWFUL and don't know. It's not like anyone would tell me if I was terrible.

It was strange all day. Cause not many people work the day after the Thanksgiving. So, it was wierd. Less people = me thinking it's a Saturday or Sunday. I have to be back Sunday, but that's ok. I decided to make use of the GOBS of alcohol left over from the party that wasn't a huge party *grin*. I invited Jesse over. Cause he's ok, sometimes. Tonight has been FUCKING FUNNY. First, he pet (petted ???) a cat and it followed him to my house. It's been meowing at the door since he got here at nine. I'm a heartless bitch to think this is funny, right? Except, I would be crueler to take it in and subject it to Derek. It's a big cat, so it's not like it's gonna die out there. It must have survived somehow. My whole point of this post was to talk about the wierd conversations I have with people when I've been drinking. I told people I was "moist" last weekend. This weekend, the topic of choice is masturbation. I didn't even start it. I SWE...

Everything really. I did not even LOOK at the computer yesterday. I'm outta control. I sit on this thing for HOURS. Playing games, reading, or blogging. But it's not just you, dear blog and loyal readers. I've been avoiding the Hotmail again too. I have 10 FUCKING pages of email. That's AFTER I went through and weeded out spam. Now don't go thinking I'm all special and people really LOVE me and send me email all the time. The truth is, I've signed up to take surveys and get "points". Do these points ever come in handy? Yes, sometimes. Sometimes, they actually pay out. And I figure, it's only time right? GODDAMN, SO MANY SURVEYS. And I just avoid them, cause I KNOW they will take too much time. Time when I could be playing the games. Or blogging. And then they expire. It's pointless. Am I gonna get myself out of these surveys? Probably not.

So, the boy and I don't agree on music. Anyone could tell you that. But somehow, the music of his genre that I do like...He DOESN'T EVEN LIKE. And I'm talking classics here. Like Clapton (I love that I NEVER have to say or type this full name. You know who I am talking about. And if you don't, WHAT FUCKING ROCK HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER???), and Tom Petty, and The Cars. Anyhow, here's some Tom Petty American Girl Tom Petty Well, she was an American girl, Raised on promises She couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life Somewhere else After all it was a great big world With lots of places to run to And if she had to die Tryin', she Had one little promise she was gonna keep Chorus: Oh yeah, alright, Take it easy, baby Make it last all night She was an American girl. Well, it was kind of cold that night, She stood alone on the balcony Yeah, she could hear the cars roll by, Out on four forty one like Waves crashing on the beach, And for one des...

Ariel is nice. She brings me cheese. I hope she has fun at the show tomorrow. I will miss her while she is gone. I hope that she has a good Thanksgiving too. Yum cheese. I love cheese.

Your Life is Like High Fidelity What John Cusack movie are you?

You Are a Tomboy You're having too much fun to bother with nail polish and crazy diets. Guys are instead impressed by how much you know and do! How Girlie Are You?

Your Love Quote Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. What Love Quote Suits You?

So, I don't have much insanely funny moments to tell you about right now. The kid is a fair source of my amusement and he is in Portland. Here is something he did last week. I kept hearing this noise like my house was falling down, so I go to see what the hell is going on and he is HOPPING AROUND LIKE A BUNNY. It was cute, but DAMN loud. At the party, the adults were talking about something to do with "once you teach the kid to do it, you just want to tell them to STOP already". Derek looks at us and goes "Yep, ever since my mom taught me to talk, I haven't stopped." It was PRICELESS. Jesse is another source of amusement. He tried to call and come over last Tuesday, just outta the blue. At TEN! I was getting ready for bed and stuff and he calls from a Springfield number asking if he can stop by for a little. Apparently, he had some girl with him. A "cool girl" he says. I am SO sick of Jesse bringing girls over that I like and then I NEVER see them ...

Here's a lighter song. Ok, so it's about death. But it's not a sad song about death. Together Again Janet Jackson There are times when I look above and beyond there are times when I feel your love around me baby I´ll never forget my baby (I never forget you) When I feel that i dont belong draw my strength from the words when you say Hey it´s about you baby look deeper inside you baby BRIDGE: Dream about us together again what I want us together again baby I know we´ll be together again cuz CHORUS: Everywhere I go ever smile I see I know you are there smiling back at me dancing in moonlight I know you are free cuz I can see your star shining down on me (together again, ooh) good times we´ll share again (together again, ooh) makes me wanna dance (together again, ooh) say it loud and proud (together again, ooh) all my love is for you always been a true angel to me now above I cant wait for you to wrap your wings around me baby Ooh wrap them around me baby Sometimes hear you wh...

Another meme via 'Zilla via Mad Baggage. Google images of: The name of the town where you were born The name of the town where you live now Your name Your grandmother's name (just pick one) Your favorite food Your favorite drink Your favorite song Your favorite smell I'm gonna copy Zilla and put my pictures down here. I'm not sure if we were supposed to take the first picture you get, or the one you like the most. I'm gonna put the one I like the most. The name of the town where you were born - Denver. I think, it's NOT my fault if I am wrong. The name of the town where you live now - Springfield - Ok, so I put OR in, to narrow it down. My first and FAVORITE image was actually not the city of Springfield. Does it still count? Your name - Desiree, of course. WHOA BABY! She's HOT! Your grandmother's name (just pick one) - I'm gonna go with Joyce, cause I LOVE my grandma Joyce. I miss her. Your favorite food - I gotta pick ONE?? Ummmm. I guess MELT...

This one is sad, but I like it. At least it makes me feel like the woman in the song got TOUGH. And able to deal with EVERYTHING. Which makes me happy, cause women are ALL POWERFUL. What About Janet Jackson We walked along the beach What a moon lit night He held my hands in his He kissed me he said I wanna spend my life with you I want you for my wife Just then I thought Chorus: What about the times you lied to me What about the times you said no one would want me What about all the shit you've done to me What about that What about that What about the times you yelled at me What about the times I cried You wouldn't even hold me What about those things What about that What about that I took a pause And then a deep sigh He looked right into my eyes As he said I know I didn't say somethin' wrong I didn't have the courage to say But then I thought Repeat Chorus Oh Chorus 2: What about the times you hit my face What about the times you kept on when I said No more please ...

EVERY time I try to sleep for a short time, I have FUCKED up dreams. It's been recurring lately that SOMEONE is driving me right next to a cliff and I am SURE we are gonna go over and that will be out. Last night, first Ben drove me next to the cliff, we didn't flip, but then he drove through some AWFUL place in town (this town? Don't think so), where people were KILLING people and throwing blood down on our car from above, where the killing was going on. We had someone else's kid with us and Derek and I was like....AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Roll up all the windows! LOCK ALL THE DOORS, WE'RE GOING TO DIE! And we didn't die AGAIN, but I was panicking and I think that my heart rate was raised and then I woke up. Thank god. I was FREAKING OUT! When Ben woke up, I was like.....I had a dream that YOU tried to kill me! And then I shared. And he was like...well, I'm sorry that you had a dream that I tried to kill you. Remind me NEVER to go back to sleep for a few hours.

I've spent all day wrapped in a blanket. And a robe. Since the blanket won't work here at the chair, I have to have something. I actually got to WATCH some movies today! With the boy gone, I can totally use the digital cable and fully appreciate the HBO. I know the Mel Gibson's gotten wierd lately, but there was NOTHING wrong with him in Lethal Weapon 2. "Do you KNOW what happens at the drive-thru?" "They FUCK you at the drive-thru!" Or ANY of the Lethal Weapon movies. It's so NICE to be able to watch a movie and hear FUCK! It's a good cuss word. Then I saw the end of 50 First Dates. It was kinda sad, but the end was nice. And Adam Sandler cracks my shit up. Every time. And the VERY end of Gremlins. That movie scared the SHIT outta me when I was six. I was CONVINCED they were gonna hide in my Grandma's washer, so they could multiply. This might have been when my worrying about things under my bed started. I'm SO glad my bed is right on th...

For my song of the day. I had a REALLY good night last night. I got to see Jenn and Orion was cute as can be. Karina came over later, she played SCRABBLE with me and Ariel. And I WON! I almost never win. :) Ariel also brought me cheese! Havarti, something new, and DAMN good. All creamy and sharp. And Karina brought sushis. Spicy sushi. It was YUMMY. I got the house back to being sewi-clean. Thank god for paper plates and plastic cups. It was SUPER easy to clean it up. Derek was all set by the time Jake got here. They left around 1 or 1:30. I couldn't remember if I had actually SAID Happy Birthday today. It IS his birthday, after all. I had also neglected to mention to Jake that I hadn't fed him lunch. I had visions of him starving and remember FOREVER about how I didn't say Happy Birthday that ONE birthday and how I was just a HORRIBLE mom. So, I called when I knew they would be in Portland and explained and Jake was like...yeah, I asked him and he said he was hungry, so we...

Well, my house is clean. Jake has come and gone. Jesse didn't even have time to drink. Which, incidentally works well for me. Ariel and Jenn have come and gone. Ariel will be back. I have no idea if anyone else is coming. Heather A said she would, but I don't know if I believe that. It's a little saddening, but I gots me my Ariel and my Ben, so I really got all I need. More people to see woulda been nice, but that's life. Anyhow, here's your song. A little Morbid? Maybe. It's been stuck in my head. Don't Fear the Reaper Blue Oyster Cult All our times have come Here but now they’re gone Seasons don’t fear the reaper Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain We can be like they are Come on, baby Don’t fear the reaper Baby, take my hand Don’t fear the reaper We’ll be able to fly Don’t fear the reaper Baby, I’m your man La, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la Valentine is done Here but now they’re gone Romeo and Juliet Are together in eternity Romeo and Juliet Forty th...

As in, I have none. My dishes are done at least. And that was SOME feat. I had quite a mountain. Ariel took me shopping this morning. She brought me a sausage McMuffin, cause she loves me. I had emailed her saying how much I'd been wanting one. It was YUMMY. I love SAUSAGE.....hahahahaha. I have such a dirty mind. We did the shopping. I've done a TINY bit of laundry. And I had to take the kid present shopping. Don't you LOVE it when people can guess your kid's age by how fidgety they are? Isn't that FANTASTIC? It was MADNESS. He was determined to get a new game. Thirty DOLLARS. So much. Almost half of his money. But I found some CHEAP headphones. YAY Headphones. They are the coolest fucking headphones EVER. Aren't they FANTASTIC? I love that they fit right around the ear. That means I won't feel like my headphones are falling off the whole day. YAY, HAPPY!

I know, I DIDN'T BLOG AT ALL YESTERDAY. I got home and found out that Jake IS coming down on Saturday. Jesse prolly told him about the party. I should know better than to invite Jesse. Then I cleaned a little. Then I got caught up in the magic that is CSI. I'm dedicating my song of the day to Karina today. Who often blogs about how if she just keeps breathing, everything will be fine. Or something to that effect. So, of course, this song reminded me of that. Keep Breathing Garbage She's not the kind of girl Who likes to tell the world About the way she feels about herself She takes a little time In making up her mind She doesn't want to fight against the tide And lately, I'm not the only one I say never trust anyone Always the one who has to drag her down Maybe you'll get what you want this time around Can't bear to face the truth So sick, he cannot move And when it hurts he takes it out on you And lately, I'm not the only one I say never trust anyone Al...

So, I'm TOTALLY cute today and NO ONE has said anything. I took extra time putting the hair up, with little tendrils. And makeup and everything. Oh well. Instead, my reward for today must have been just a few minutes ago. When I bit the bullet, and called Jake. One half ring and then STRAIGHT INTO VOICE MAIL. My prayers have been answered. I left a DETAILED message telling him he should call me back and leave a message telling me when he would be in. All I said was....Derek's birthday is Sunday, so let me know a time when you're gonna come and pick him up. I'm smooth. Anyhow, I hope my luck holds out and he doesn't call me back.

And just like that, I'm back outta the Mariah Carey Stuff. It'll be back, you can count on that. This is like my THEME SONG. What with the whole...When I grow up, I'll be stable. Cause I TOTALLY AM grown up and stable. QUIT LAUGHING. :) When I Grow Up Garbage Cut my tongue out, I've been caught out Like a giant juggernaut Happy hours, golden showers On a cruise to freak you out We could fly a helicopter Nothing left to talk about Entertain you, celebrate you I'll be back to frame you When I grow up I'll be stable When I grow up I'll turn the tables Trying hard to fit among you Floating out to wonderland Unprotected, God I'm pregnant Damn the consequences When I grow up I'll be stable When I grow up I'll turn the tables Blood and blisters on my fingers Chaos rules when we're apart Watch my temper, I go mental I'll try to be gentle When I grow up I'll be stable When I grow up I'll turn the tables When I grow up When I grow up When I...

I had to email a guy at our warehouse. He's funny and nice. I wish I could work out there, cause I could get away with more. They are SO much more laid back. It doesn't matter out there if they say Fuck. Anyhow, enough background. I deal with him a for all our returns stuff. He ships it. I get the paperwork. When I don't get the proper paperwork, I call him or shoot him an email. I'd had to ask for this thing twice. It prolly got handed to the wrong person, or something. Not a big deal. My desk is also a disaster area, but I haven't found it, so I don't thikn I got it. I apologized for bugging him about it again..in case it's my fault, and I KNOW they are SUPER busy out there. I couldn't do it. Lifting things all day. My back is not good. Me lifting DO NOT go together. He sent me this back.. You don’t bother me at all. You’re very pleasant to deal with, and I appreciate that you are straightforward with the problems & questions that come up. I wish ...

I'm TOTALLY breaking out. All over my face. I'm gonna be one giant zit. GODDAMN STRESS. What the hell did I do to you? It's not like I MANAGE you, so leave me the hell alone. I'm putting off calling Jake. I don't like talking to him. So, I sit here staring at my sign, thinking...I should call Jake....and then I'm like....I don't wanna call Jake. Ok, so I was thinking...since he is taking Derek back to Portland, he might just come down Sunday and not ever be here for the party. I don't know....he usually KNOWS that I have the party and he wants to come to HOG all my friends. Cause he thinks they are HIS friends....and some of them are (Jesse) ahem. But I am thinking if I just DON'T say anything about it, then he might just come down ON Derek's birthday, which is ACTUALLY Sunday and I am saved from having to hang out with him for a LONG period of time. Do y'all think I could be so lucky? Psst. I've been IGNORING my Hotmail account peoples. ...

I guess I shall. Only problem? Not sure what I have to say. It's only three more days until Friday! When I DON'T HAVE TO WORK. I'm gonna clean like a maniac. Starting Thursday night. That way there is less to do Friday. It's FUCKING COLD outside. It's kinda cold inside, seeing as how we don't keep the heat very high. I'm enjoying General Hospital. This crash thing is crazy as fuck. I just hope that Manny bastard gets shot. I'm not TOTALLY hating the new Carly.(BUT I DO MISS THE OLD CARLY. I just saw an ad for her on "Freddie". Like I care. I MISS YOU SECOND CARLY. I'll be DAMNED if I can remember her name right now. I'm sorry. Not that she's had much content, seeing as how she is STILL crazy. WARNING - TMI to follow. I have a new bump. ON THE OTHER SIDE. WHAT THE FUCK! That one I could deal with. But there appears to be one right above THE button. IT HURTS! It got poked the other day, when I was exercising *wink* and it's been ...

YES, I AM getting back into the sappy love songs. Suck it, if you don't like it. My All Mariah Carey I'm thinking of you In my sleepless solitude tonight If it's wrong to love you Then my heart just won't let me be right Cause I've drowned in you And I won't pull through Without you by my side I'd give my all to have Just one more night with you I'd risk my life to feel Your body next to mine Cause I can't go on Living in the memory of our song I'd give my all for your love, tonight Baby, can you feel me Imagining I'm looking in your eyes I can see you clearly Vividly emblazoned in my mind And yet, you are so far Like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight I'd give my all to have Just one more night with you I'd risk my life to feel Your body next to mine Cause I can't go on Living in the memory of our song I'd give my all for your love tonight I'd give my all to have Just one more night with you I'd risk my life to...

But I was STILL amazed by how I could read this. I figured I should share. Olny cretian poelpe can. Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs fworad it I know, I know, it's just another chain e-mail. But I'm tired, so this is what you get.

I am goal oriented. I need a goal. I need a purpose. I get in trouble when I don't have a purpose. It just happens. I'm working on it. But I just don't have a set goal all the time. I mean....sure, I've got this one solved and an "invoice" written up. But then I just move on to the next one. And it's just monotonous after awhile. I don't know....there's no time frame. Sometimes, I just set my own goals and then I'm good. I got something I'm working towards. Sometimes all I can come up with each day is.....It's one day closer to the weekend. I just gotta get up and go and I'm halfway there. So far, that's working. I feel more helpful, more in tune, more friendly. More smiley, more accomplished. I send out a nice em-ail to people when I am done working with them. Sometimes they e-mail back and it's always pleasant small talk. It's good for relations, if nothing else. Especially the ones I talk to or e-mail often. And it...

I'm so SORRY. I can't fix it. I know it's in ALL CAPS. I'm too tired to fix it. I'm sorry if it hurts your eyes. Goodbye Stranger Supertramp IT WAS AN EARLY MORNING YESTERDAY I WAS UP BEFORE THE DAWN AND I REALLY HAVE ENJOYED MY STAY BUT I MUST BE MOVING ON LIKE A KING WITHOUT A CASTLE LIKE A QUEEN WITHOUT A THRONE I´M AN EARLY MORNING LOVER AND I MUST BE MOVING ON NOW I BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU SAY IS THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH BUT I HAVE TO HAVE THINGS MY OWN WAY TO KEEP ME IN MY YOUTH LIKE A SHIP WITHOUT AN ANCHOR LIKE A SLAVE WITHOUT A CHAIN JUST THE THOUGHT OF THOSE SWEET LADIES SENDS A SHIVER THROUGH MY VEINS AND I WILL GO ON SHINING SHINING LIKE BRAND NEW I´LL NEVER LOOK BEHIND ME MY TROUBLES WILL BE FEW GOODBYE STRANGER IT´S BEEN NICE HOPE YOU FIND YOUR PARADISE TRIED TO SEE YOUR POINT OF VIEW HOPE YOUR DREAMS WILL ALL COME TRUE GOODBYE MARY, GOODBYE JANE WILL WE EVER MEET AGAIN FEEL NO SORROW, FEEL NO SHAME COME TOMORROW FEEL NO PAIN Sweet devotion It's not for me...

1) What's the best compliment anyone could give you? That I am a good mom. I still remember when this friend of mine...who is a TOTAL jackass now, said to me...I NEVER thought you would be this good of a mother. Kinda back-handed, but I was a little crazy as a teenager. And what teenager makes a REALLY good mother anyhow? A few (ANY of the ones I know), but not enough. :s 2) What material thing will you never give up? I couldn't ever give up my music. I LOVE my music. Or maybe, awfully enough, my TV. You couldn't pry it from my hands. 3) What's one thing you'll never do again? I'll never sit on the edge of the parking garage downtown watching all the cars drive under me. 4) What's your nickname? Des, mostly. Derek's mom too. ;) 5) What's the biggest misperception people have about you? That I am scary. I'm not scary. I've had people afraid of me. I don't know either. 6) What embarrasses you? Farting in public. Especially smelly ones. When...

27 1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? I'd say Bush, but that would leave Cheney in charge. Hmmm, one of my ex-boyfriends? 2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Ac/Dc 3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Jake, most of the time. 4. What is the best kind of cheese ? White Sharp Cheddar. Yummm, I really like the one in the black wrapper. It might be Tillamook, not sure. 5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What does your dream-sandwich consist of, and does it contain the aforementioned cheese? Bacon, lettuce, and avocado. A REALLY good avocado. You don't put cheese on a BLT-type sandwich, silly. 6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you...

Her challenge to everyone: if you HAD to wake up tomorrow as a character of the opposite sex, who would you want to be? Hmm, This is hard. I'm not sure I've EVER wanted to be a man. Except that one time during the month when all girls would like to be ANYTHING but a girl. The girliest man I can be?? Maybe. Let me see what that comes up with. Not much, really. Instead, I shall say....I would like to be Heath Ledger. Cause he is HOT and gets to kiss the cute girls in his movies. God...DO I LOVE JULIA STILES??? Yes, I do. I have a major crush. And she doesn't even have boobs. :) That's ok in her case. I'm sorry, Zilla. I don't know if he is ANYTHING like me. Maybe hotness isn't the best thing to base this on. Ok, so going by books I read and his general attitude, I think I would be more like this guy... That's Mr. Bruce Campbell up there. He's pretty yummy. And he's a sarcastic person, like me. Anyone who wants to, consider yourself tagged. I hate s...

I've not been blogging at all this weekend. I wish I could say that I've been productive. But that's not the case. I've just been laying around. I'm tired. I sat in the bath, shaved and all that. Then I "exercised" (that's just what I'm gonna call it) and now my legs hurt. My tummy too, but I have to say that I am IMPRESSED with myself. My ass hurts too. I need to clean. I need to clean a bunch. Party is less than a week away. I will see you all then.

My dad sent a b-day card to Derek. $25 bucks in it. Another check written directly to Derek. :p Oh well. At least it has my dad's handwriting on it and I know he's ok. The last check was wierd. Thinking about having Derek make a picture for him and then I can send a school pic along. It would be cool. We'll see. He's being a little bit of a butt right now. Since I won't ENTERTAIN him EVERY FUCKING MINUTE, he's moping. He had two friends over Friday night, one fried over last night and still he needs to be endlessly entertained.

The Logical Song Supertramp When I was young It seemed that life was so wonderful A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical And all the birds in the trees Well they'd be singing so happily Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me But then they sent me away To teach me how to be sensible Logical, oh responsible, practical And then they showed me a world Where I could be so dependable Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical There are times when all the world's asleep The questions run too deep For such a simple man Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned I know it sounds absurd Please tell me who I am I say: Now watch what you say Or they'll be calling you a radical A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal Oh won't you sign up your name We'd like to feel you're acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable whoa (tick tick tick yeah) But at night when all the world's asleep The questions run so deep For such a simple man Won't you please, pleas...

And maybe I am taking it a little personally. I don't know. Anyhow. Here's the article . Go ahead. GO READ IT. I didn't get any farther than the front page. I stopped reading it when I read that she thought it was the same guy who was impersonating the cop. (Campus is a SCARY ass place to be lately. I had NO IDEA. If this shit happened when I was 15 and hanging out on campus, I'm just glad I missed it. I have at times, SLEPT OUTSIDE. I can't imagine what I woulda done had someone came upon me.) Because right after that it says that the Eugene Police DON'T THINK IT'S CONNECTED IN ANY WAY. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but isn't this just the first step to discounting ANYTHING she says. Isn't this WHY some people don't report these acts? Cause they are afraid they won't be believed? Why does this shit actually have to be PRINTED in the news? If it IS the same guy, he's prolly thinking...oh good, they don't think it was me, so I'm safe...

This has me laughing non stop . I HOPE it's fake. I think it is done by this person . But I can't be sure. And I don't think it's kosher to ask. Just laugh anyhow. I'm thinking about adding a new header and calling it LiveJournals I read. And adding these two. Who could resist a name like VagynaFondue anyhow? Not me.

I've been listening to wierd music lately. Like stuff like Van Morrison and Supertramp. And Micheal Buble who reminds me off Frank Sinatra. WHY DOES IT REMIND ME OF FIFTIES STYLE MUSIC? The songs in particular? Well, Moondance (obviously) Goodbye Stranger The Logical Song And the Micheal Buble songs are all covers. At least the ones that I know. He's got a GREAT voice. I'm a little amazed that I am digging on this kinda music.

Moondance Van Morrison (I found a version by Micheal Buble though, and it's kick ass.) Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance With the stars up above in your eyes A fantabulous night to make romance 'Neath the cover of October skies And all the leaves on the trees are falling To the sound of the breezes that blow You know I'm trying to please to the calling Of your heart-strings that play soft and low You know the night's magic seems to whisper and hush You know the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush Chorus: Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love Well I wanna make love to you tonight I can't wait till the morning has come Y'know I know now the time is just right And straight into my arms you will run And when you come my heart will be waiting To make sure that you're never alone There and then all my dreams will come true, dear There and then I will make you my own And ev...

I think my horoscopes all week were fucking wonky. But this might take the cake. Today's Horoscope - "Intercede or stay out of it as the spirit moves you. The more flexible you can be about the rules of engagement you impose on yourself, the more wisely you can allocate your energy." Ok....so do something about it, or don't. Whatever. This is not anything that helps me at all. I HAVE NO ENERGY! How can I allocate it?

So this horoscope calendar told me that Cancers are easily offended and hurt. But Thursday, my horoscope said this. "Try not to take offense if someone behaves thoughtlessly. There's a case of unenlightened self-interest going around and it's highly contagious. Take the precautionary medicinal measure of failing to respond." WHY WOULD IT TELL ME NOT TO TAKE OFFENSE. Or even to try? It should know better. The whole thing about unenlightened self-interest and it being contagious is totally true. Of any day really.

Tell Him Lauryn Hill Let me be patient let me be kind Make me unselfish without being blind Though I may suffer I'll envy it not And endure what comes Cause he's all that I got and tell him... Tell him I need him [yeah] Tell him I love him [tell him] And it'll be alright *Background singing* Telll himmm be alright be alright Tell him tell him I need him Tell him I love him It'll be alright Now I may have faith to make mountains fall But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all I can give away everything I possess But left without love then I have no happiness I know I'm imperfect [I know I'm imperfect] & not without sin [& not without sin] But now that I'm older all childish things end and tell him... Tell him I need him [yeah] Tell him I love him [tell him] And it'll be alright *Background singing* Telll himmm be alright be alright Tell him tell him I need him Tell him I love him It'll be alright Bridge I'll never be jealous And I won...

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You (To Good To Be True) - I found it as both people. I don't know which it is. I KNOW I should. Sung by Lauryn Hill. - It's a damn good version. You're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you you'd be like heaven to touch I wanna hold you so much at long last love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive you're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you Pardon the way that I stare there's nothing else to compare the sight of you leaves me weak there are no words left to speak but if you feel like I feel please let me know that it's real you're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you Chorus: I Need you baby, and if it's quite alright I need you baby to warm the lonely nights I love you baby, trust in me when I say ok (it's ok) Oh pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay and let me love you, oh baby, let me lo...

Gimme some sugar baby. Which B-Movie Badass Are You? brought to you by Quizilla What you gonna do about it? Take my birthday away?

I'm beginning to think that my Horoscope of the Day Calendar doesn't know me at all. A couple of weeks ago, it told me that even though I was a very kind person, I should refrain from helping others. Even if it is hard to watch them dig a hole and jump in. I think it would be funny as hell to watch them jump in. Not hard people, FUNNY. Monday's said that "Today it's not you, it's them. Though they might not see it that way." Which makes me think I shouldn't argue with them. I LOVE TO ARGUE, but WHATEVER. Today's said "Sometimes others require help but refuse to accept it. In these instances, there's no point in relentlessly trying to make people with bananas in their ears understand that you're attempting to take care of them." BANANAS!!!??? What the hell is up with this thing? And Me, I BEAT A DEAD HORSE ALL THE TIME. I WILL GO ON AND ON TO TRY AND GET YOU TO SEE MY POINT OF VIEW. I will days later start arguing about it again. B...

Ok, so I know people don't prolly read the lyrics to ALL of these. It's wierd to me that a song that calls out to me, maybe even yells out to me, does not even whisper to others. Anyhow, I bolded the parts of lyrics I particularly like. Everything is Everything Lauryn Hill Everything (Everything) Is Everything(Is Everything) What is meant to be, will be After winter, must come spring Change, it comes eventually (2x) I wrote these words for everyone Who struggles in their youth Who won't accept deception Instead of what is truth It seems we lose the game, Before we even start to play Who made these rules? We're so confused Easily led astray Let me tell ya that Everything is everything (Everything is everything) Everything is everything After winter, must come spring Everything is everything I philosophy Possibly speak tongues Beat drum, Abyssinian, street Baptist Rap this in fine linen From the beginning My practice extending across the atlas I begat this Flippin' in...

Still tired. That week after the one day weekend screws with me. I know, I know, I'm a whiny bitch. Some people do it all the time. Anyhow, even being tired, this made me laugh. It bet it will make you laugh too. Or you could read about the farting .

Well, I am gonna go in and see if I can't convince my boss that I need next Friday off. It would give me a little extra time to get the house in order. So, we'll see if she agrees. I hope so. Keep your fingers crossed for me. :) Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous Good Charlotte (I TOLD you guys) only see it on tv read it in the magazines celebrities that want sympathy all they do is piss and moan inside the rolling stone talking about how hard life can be Id like to see them spend the week livin life out on the street I dont think they would survive but they could spend a day or two walking in someone elses shoes I think they'd stumble and they'd fall they would fall Fall Lifestlyes of the rich and the famous theyre always complainin always complainin if money is such a problem well they got mansions think we should rob them well did you know when your famous you could kill your wife and theres no such thing as 25 to life as long as you got the cash to pay for cochra...