Trigger warning. Childhood SA memories.
I tried to put this in trigger warning brackets around the worst, most detailed part (in my mind because dissociation is real!) of this post only to realize it’s all terrible. Don’t read this if you’re already on the precipice of sadness. Definitely don’t read it if you’re close to having that last straw break you today. My need to have people get me thought I could just tell you to skip a few paragraphs but it’s all terrible. Every word in this post. Read at your own risk I guess. My cousin sent me a message on Facebook. The first of many surprisingly random messages from my family. I was angry, that was my first feeling. Of course she felt a connection with my mother. Everyone loved my mother. She was fun. Smart and sarcastic. I care a little too much what others think of me so I feel like I do the same thing. I’m a joker because I want people to like me. Which was what made it harder to be okay after I felt abandoned. What had I done? Why wouldn’...