Random Thoughts

Of work, that is. Meh. I'm so ready for this week to be over, but tomorrow should be fine anyhow. I mean, we only have 4 people here in the department, I get to be in the room I love, stressing out over getting everything done. Heh. I'm better than I was two days ago. Although today I found out that nestle crunches give me heartburn. =( I'm a sad panda, indeed. In other, not entirely about me news, Ariel has 4 weeks. A baby! I get to see a baby and play with one that I feel like I can take over. Ariel is the closest thing I have to a sister out here, so I'm gonna be like..an imaginary aunt. =) Jenn and I have a sushi date for Oct. 10th and I don't feel like it's going to get here fast enough, but I shall have to have some patience. It will be hard. Derek has a doctor's appt on Monday. I was trying to get a check up coinciding with it, but no such luck. The boy has a circular black spot on his foot. He is worried about it, and why shouldn't he be, he...

I've been thinking that my big mouth tends to get me in trouble. I lead with emotions, it's not a good thing. So I've been trying not to run my mouth as much lately. But I can see the collision coming. My brain seems to be in overdrive, and yet I'm not speaking of my problems. Some are too personal, some I know better than to talk about on the internet. It's never a good thing when my brain is in overdrive. I'm sure it doesn't help that this is my "other" allergy season. I can't tell you what I'm allergic too, the doctors don't know. I don't want to take the Sudafed that was the last resort. I may as well be asleep if I take that crap. So I wake up feeling like I'm coming down with something, and have felt this way for weeks now. My headache has been a steady, low pressure for this past week. Tylenol helps, but after it wears off, it comes right back. This is probably affecting my mood. Yesterday the bus seemed to be going pr...

I started watching this Presidential address to see if Bush said something stupid. I've been sucked into this discussion about the financial plan since our economy is full of FAIL right now. He may be making sense. Ack! I dunno, I'm not always so quick with the politics and I certainly only barely passed Economics class.

That gave me the shin bruise. My fault really. I should not be allowed to walk around my own house. I thought I'd update. I had a hard week last week. I felt stressed and out of control of my life. I spent about 15 minutes composing a whole long email to someone about why I feel so stressed. But after re-reading it (yay for the internet), and putting a more positive spin on it, I didn't really feel the need to share it anymore. Would I be over sharing like I feel I usually do? Heh. I used to write in a diary all the time. Well, all the time when I was upset. The thing is, I forget I can still do that. Or I have some narcissistic need to have people read super personal things. So I may go back to hand writing when I'm really wound up. Otherwise people will just think I'm always angry. That's the way my diary has always sounded, super irritated. heh. Beyond any of that stuff; my kid has turned a new found corner of independence. I'm trying really hard to pull my o...

I decided that I could be pissed all day over stupid people, or I could just not be. It gives me less of a headache to not be pissed all the time, so this is working out pretty well for me. It helps a lot that I wore my new shirt today, put on make up to make myself all girly and have gotten a TON of compliments on it. Even though I felt like I didn't look that good in it, everyone else likes it. Today, life is good. It doesn't hurt that it's payday. And it certainly helps that I've got a tasteful amount of cleavage working for me. Mainly just so that I notice it, which seems perfect. If I could just keep my necklace out of there! Heh. Unfortunately, it is a late day today. I should be used to it by now, but being open until 7 is lame. Next week we start being open that late every day. Again, I should be used to it. At least I'm not alone, I get Eileen here late with me! =)

But I try to quit work about every two weeks. Today was hard. I've been working on a huge project and today I realized two things. 1. I've been going overboard. Did not need to do as much as I had been doing. 2. Someone went in and changed a bunch of things much easier, but in the WRONG spot. It will be fixed tonight, but I just refused to even look at that damn spreadsheet again after that. I tried on the shirt again this morning. I'm happier with it today. I may even wear it out of the house on Friday. =) We'll see. I miss Eileen, she is sick and I hope that she gets better soon. Last night, Derek told me that he thinks piercings are stupid. "Why would anyone even want to have a metal ring in their ear?" I retorted back with "I don't have a metal ring in my tongue", and he said..fine, barbell, whatever. I managed to prevent myself from telling him that I thought HE was stupid then, instead I told him..well, that's fine. That's because y...

And I dunno. It fits. Which is weird to me, what with my larger shirts that I usually wear. It's VERY fitting up top, and it is clingy. I'm doing my damndest not to care, cause it IS cute. I think I'm gonna wear it Friday. More review after I actually wear it for a day. Also, we have a new person, and I Anyhow. She is smart and quick and she already seems to understand how much of a butt kisser that the person I dislike the most is. Heh. I LOVE it when people see things for themselves. I'm not above venting, but I try not to vent at work, instead just waiting and watching to see who "gets it" and who doesn't. Most people do, which seems surprising to me, but I don't know why. People are generally smart. P.S. Tomorrow I can take a pregnancy test, and at this point I don't even care anymore. LOL. P.S.S. (Is that right? Is it PPS?) This guy on the bus today tried to elbow me in the neck. Asshole. Also, I wish Eileen were not sick and could be at work ...

My boss came in to the office today after her lunch; came over to my desk and practically whispered in my ear about how they had some really cute "bigger" tops out there, she liked them, but they didn't have her size. OMFG! Awesome. Somehow I've managed to find a cute OREGON shirt that can't be worn by skinnier people. Maybe this means I will not see the same shirt all over the place. It's black (of course, it could have been green) and it has white flowers around the yellow Oregon part. My only problem is that the white flowers on the back will mean my hair has to be worn up to be visible. Oh well. Could be worse. =) It's empire waisted with just a tiny bit of yellow at the neckline. I And considering that the average person would have to pay almost 40 for it, I feel like I got a good deal. It's just girly enough, and it was even in a regular shopping area. I'm so used to heading into the secret corner of shame when I shop here, I would never have...

I helped someone on the bus today. Even though I wear what Eileen calls my "Guam Face" when I ride the bus, I stepped out of my protective mean look to retrieve this woman's bus pass that had floated by me. She was kind of oblivious, and I just knew it had to come from somewhere; when she started looking through all her stuff, I figured it must be her day pass So I got up, I walked up to it, it floated away some more, so I even ASKED this guy on the bus if he would grab it from by his feet. I TALKED to someone on the bus, voluntarily. I'm shocked too. I probably would not have been so helpful if not for three facts. 1. She was a little bit chubby, 2. She had a super cute dress on, 3. She had an awesome tattoo and MANY, MANY piercings. So perhaps I am biased, but how many people might have been less inclined to help, based on my own criteria? I know the guy in front of her just watched it float off. And is it really any different than when people from work call me on t...

I am too anxious to watch anything about 9/11. Perhaps I should just avoid the TV for weeks? Or just turn up my headphones and listen to Lil' Mama.

[1] Who was your FIRST​ prom date?​ Heather, who was looking totally hot! [​2]​Do you still​ talk to your FIRST​ love?​ Hm. I fancied myself in love a lot. The people who I thought I was in love with? No, I don't really talk to them anymore. Tried once, but didn't get much of a response. [3] What was your FIRST​ alcoh​olic drink​?​ Beer. No wonder I still like it. [4] What was your FIRST​ job? Making angels. Way back in the day. I DID just type that. Since it was more than 10 years ago, I think I'm allowed to say that. I also babysat for two whole weeks when I was 12, but I don't think that counts. The angels were the first job that took taxes out. [5] Who was the FIRST​ perso​n to text you today?​ No texts. [6] Who was your First​ Kiss?​ Rogers. Yes, that was his name. Did I get a lot of flack because his name seemed to be plural. Yep. Mostly from my mom. [7] Who is the FIRST​ perso​n you thoug​ht of this morni​ng?​ My kid. Had to get breakfast for him. [8] Who was you...

My relatives were rabid football fans. Let me amend that. Rabid Broncos fans. It's a Colorado thing, and I always resisted it, no matter how many orange and blue outfits they "made" me wear. So how ironic that I ended up working at a store where football is pretty much synonymous with earning my living. After almost 6 years, last year I started actually trying to get the scores so I would know what to expect when I had to go to work after the weekend. I think I even marveled back then how it was that I'd suddenly become interested in football. Yesterday I found myself actually watching most of the game. Sitting and almost screaming in anticipation when the Ducks would lose the ball. It didn't look good for awhile and I can see why people watch football, it's intense, and nail biting at times. I can't say I entirely understand it yet. And I don't know that I'll watch it next week. We'll see. I think I got so sucked into it because it looked like...

That didn't take long huh? I just realized I'm harboring a grudge. Um yeah. A few actually. I tend to do that. But I'm more than a little pissed off that while my child was having the bonding put back on his tooth yesterday, they mentioned WITHIN his hearing that he "really didn't need to be there that day". Um, excuse me? PART OF HIS TOOTH CAME OFF? What would you suggest I do? This after I finally made peace with letting the kid go back into the dentist office without me. YES, I AM THAT MOTHER. It took FOREVER, and I don't appreciate it when people think I am over reacting. The tooth hurt him when he brushed, when he ate, I think he needed to have the sensitive part covered up again. I hate to second guess the goddamn dentist, but that LAST time part of his tooth came off, it exposed the ROOT, goddammit! How was I to know this was not the same? I'm steaming mad, people. You see, maybe I do over react. Maybe I do over worry. Hell, I KNOW I over worry....

I want the new iPod. How much of a crappy consumer can I be? I want a purple one. Meh. It won't happen, but man do I want one. That is kind of all from me today. I know, shocking huh? I may have a post later. Maybe. We all know how much I LOVE to talk about myself.

My kid knocked off the bonding on the other tooth on Tuesday. The tooth that didn't have the root canal, the tooth that had the least damage (at least so far), and it was hurting him when he brushed or ate anything cold. I'm trying desperately to find something funny about it. Because it's hysterical right? How the hell can this happen? All of the sudden on the side that wasn't a problem to begin with. Maybe his dentist and I can become "besties" and whenever this happens (I'm resigned that this will happen again.); I'll call him at home and tell him "he did it again"; we'll laugh wryly, and then he'll make a house call. (It's MY fantasy, house calls could happen.) Today, Derek stayed home and instead went to the dentist in Eugene. Ben took him, and since it took so long, Derek didn't go back to school. Today I'm sleepy. I feel better, but I'm still tired. And my stomach is sore, which is weird. P.S. I'm probably p...

I NEVER have a fever. Never. That seems highly unlikely and suspect. Like someone gave me a tainted thermometer. Never mind that it shows when Derek has a fever. Obviously, it's only tainted with me. I mean 96.6? Am I dead? That seems low.

The phone appears to work fine. The number is still the same (YAY), and I called Cricket today to cancel my service. They asked me why, I told them why, the guy said sorry, BUT THEN proceeded to tell me that the reason they couldn't change it was because I hadn't gone into a full service station. I BELIEVE I did, but I think the guy misunderstood. Because I went into that one twice and got two different stories, then tried to go back but instead had to hit the kiosk inside the mall, and that guy told me something else entirely. So, the guy basically said sorry you're a moron and can't do it right. Not that it matters since it's over and done with now (I hope, I have little trust in them) and I should let it go. What do I care that some guy I don't know thinks it's MY fault that I can't get what I want from their customer service? And if I had insisted it was a full service, what would the story have been then? The internet says the one at Gateway IS full...

Ugh. My kid keeps thinking that normal things are weird things and that something must be wrong with him. Like Friday night, he asked me if red dots on his tongue were normal. Ack. Tonight he was worried about something he found in the bath, probably moss from the tree he loves to climb in. WTF? He has no fear when out and about and being active, but things like this worry him? One night, many, many years ago, I went into the bathroom to see him scrubbing the hell out of his foot. When I asked what the problem was, he responded with something along the lines of he was trying to scrub the pinkness off. The bottom of his foot...where it's USUALLY pink? Right? Mine is. Oh lord. I worry for that boy.

Cricket sucks. Like I thought. Ben and I went down to Gateway today to hit the store. First problem? They were not open on Sunday as advertised on their website, but the store front redirected us into the mall. Yay, my favorite place /sarcasm. Once in there, it became some other problem like usual. This time the answer was that I could change the due date, but I'd need to pay two months, because I am not on a prepay account like everyone else. No, my account is so old that I'm on a post pay account. I pay for my services AFTER the month. Which confuses me, as I'm pretty sure I bought the phone and got the first month free, so how am I behind? It's so long ago, there is no way to prove it. This is the 3rd story I've gotten. Ben remarked as we were walking to KFC for lunch that while he KNEW they were stupid, he did not really understand the depths of their stupidity like I tried to explain last time. I KNEW they would not change the date, no matter what I did. I paid...

I told Ben about this the other day, found on one of my blogs. He was skeptical, and I suppose all people should be skeptical of the internets in general. Sometimes I am gullible, but I try and be smarter. I've decided that I hate Anthony Bourdain, and now I can't let it go. Since he mentioned how he was skeptical, I was in a bad fucking mood for the rest of the day, and even today, 3 DAYS LATER, I am still going back to the link and trying really hard to prevent myself from pointing and be like...SEE, look, please make me watch that fucker no more. Meh. Like fat people need the ugly skinny people to tell us how fat we are, like we don't have acceptance issues of our own. Like I don't try every day to not hate my stomach or my arms. Asshole. You're not helping. Any time I hear that people are fat because they are lazy bastards, I get angry. I lived with a guy who could eat twice what I ate, and PERHAPS he was more active than I, but he NEVER gained a goddamn ounce....

The kid went back to school yesterday. You do not get the requisite picture taken in front of the sign at school, because the kid wanted to walk (most of the way) to school on his own. ..That was the sound of my heart breaking a little bit. Ah. Such is life. Obviously, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic lately. In any case, 5th grade has been started, summer is over in our house, sushi with Tammi tomorrow. The phone officially doesn't work, and now the boyfriend is not really sure that buying a new phone will be best. It sounds like I'm going to have to deal with these people again. My head hurts, and I honestly DO NOT expect to get my damn due date on the phone changed. Plus, since the phone has been shut off, now I'll have to pay a ten dollar fee on top of that. I'm kind of pissed. It's a bit late to try and talk me out of buying the new phone. And I'll have to go on Saturday, or Monday AFTER WORK (WTF?) and without Ben. Which means they'll give me the run ar...

I'm back from the doctor, all freshly birth control-ified. My BP is good, my weight appears to be stable. Meh. I'd like it to drop, but that's not my luck this time. My little reminder card said my depo was due on the 2nd. They scheduled me for the 3rd. Not a big deal, they always assure me I have a week after it's "due" before I need to freak out. Except I guess during that week, we should be using some other form of control, like condoms. Yeah. They didn't tell me that part. So the nurse, who first calls me by my middle name, tells me that the doctor wants to know if I've had unprotected sex since the 1st. (In my head, I think, that's what I get this shot for right? To protect me?) I think about it, and realize that I had Monday off and we may have gotten up to a little something something later on in the day just because we could. I say yes, she gets a look on her face and goes to talk to my doctor. Oh good, I think. The doctor (LOVE HER, mostly...

I just told Ben he had a weak chin. But really, in comparison, EVERYONE has a weak chin compared to my chin. It's OUT there. Derek's is too. Which is good, cause between Jake and I's hair production, the kid will not be able to hide his chin behind a beard. Seriously. I've not shaven my legs since...well, I can't remember when. The only reason I do it is because I really like the fresh shaven feel after doing it. I'm tired today. Is it completely obvious? After insulting Ben, I sent him out to go shopping. I'm mean today. But that's ok, cause I made up for it earlier. Which is why my back hurts a bit more now, but DAMMIT! I should be able to do something. Just not dishes or cleaning. Wow, I'm being selective here, I guess. Tomorrow, back to work. Then Wednesday is Derek's first day of school and my doctors appt. YAY. Friday I sushi. Late, since I have to work late, but late sushi is better than no sushi. =) Also, Ben and I had a huge discussion l...

My back is sore. 8 trays of quarters will do that to you. Oy. I'm going to learn my lesson and not do much of anything today in the hopes that it will be better tomorrow. It's not really bad, but it's definitely something I felt the instant I woke up this morning. We have Josh over right now, and the boys are out in the tree, of course. In two days Derek starts 5th grade, and that just seems weird to me. I'm glad he got his friend to stay the night though. =) They were up early, but that might actually work in my favor as then Derek will fight less about going to bed at 9 tonight in preparation for school before we know it. Also, we're not paying Cricket. Ben tried to sway me, and said this time would work out different and that I would be able to change my due date, we'll just look specifically for the woman who helped us before. Three problems with that: 1. They almost always have different people in there when I go in. I've never seen the same people twic...