Random Thoughts

I'm home. Been home for about an hour now. I've been feeling sorry for myself. And angry at all the assholes who keep saying how much they LOVE snow and oh, good, more snow. None of those assholes fell in the snow. None of them hurt their back. None of them have to walk in the goddamn snow. I'm gonna punch the next person who says how much they love snow in the face. Unless it's my child, and then I GUESS I won't punch him. That would just knock his teeth off anyhow. So I've managed to make myself feel a little better by sitting here thinking my hateful thoughts and listening to Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics. By far my best Christmas album. Ben and I had a discussion yesterday about how I rate my iTunes music. He thinks I rate things too high. And maybe he's right. But...it's all opinion anyhow, right? So after he proceeded to SHOW me how many songs I'd had rated at 5 (900 out of 4,000 - I STILL don't think that's too much) and how many...

Woke up to Derek saying he was throwing up at 2:30 in the morning. Proceeded to clean up puke from the bath mats. Much as Ben is THE spider killer, I am the vomit cleaner. Damn my solid stomach. Great middle of the night crap. Got up this morning, thinking hurray, it's payday. Fell in the street on the way to the bus stop. Straight down on my ass. Knocked the wind out of me. I've never had that happen before. It's a bad feeling. I felt like I'd never be able to breath again. It still feels tight around my back and stomach. It hurts. I managed to crawl over to the side of the street so that I would not be hit by cars. My back hurts. It hurts a little bit to breath. I get to work after much gasping and tearing up, and I find out that I've given away money again. SUB cashed their check a little too fast. Oh well. And I've apparently gone back in time and now I've got to have people buy alcohol for me instead of buying it for myself. I don't believe in time ...

It's ONLY Tuesday. How is that even possible? It feels like it's been a week and I just want it to be the weekend. My kid's week hasn't even started as school was out AGAIN today. I kept my word, I am not being too pissed by this. He better be careful going outside though. It's slippery. I had a moment where one foot slipped, but then it was ok. Baby steps, I must look like a moron while walking so slowly and deliberately. The thing is, I tend to fall down for no reason. I can't imagine how it would work if I have a reason to fall down. So far, so good. "California Dreaming" came on my iPod on the walk. It's fitting and I don't even LIKE California. I'm wearing Ben's socks in the hopes that my feet will be warmer. And the sun being out is nice. I hope it means things melt and dry up, though it's probably too much to expect. Instead, we'll probably still be icy tomorrow. And more snow is in the forecast. Did I mention I hate snow...

Today started out WRONG. I'm pretty sure that everyone knows I'm the sole Oregonian who hates snow. So when I looked out the window this morning, I was already irritated. Turned on the TV, found out Derek didn't have school, made me even more irritated. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's enjoying the snow he likes, but that means I'm the ONLY one in the house who had to come out and be out in this crap for the coldest parts of the day. I made it to the bus stop without incident, left with plenty of time since I was already running late, and waited for half and hour for a bus that never came. I often have these kinds of dreams, ones where I can't seem to make it to work, either the bus won't come, or it's already really late (like 4 in the afternoon) or I just CAN'T get here for whatever reason. It's almost the exact same dreams that I used to have where I'd left my kid at daycare when he went to daycare. A million dreams and I never ac...

In scaring the hell out of me. I'll probably never have sex again. Things feel more like normal, but not all the way, so I don't want to do it and have it hurt. The good news is that I've figured out a way to be lazier when I don't feel like the naughty thing...I can just present my chest. I knew these boobs were good for something. I hope you are happy lady parts, we're going on 2+ weeks and I'm not touching you until you can behave better and be more "normal". Asshole.

Jenn and I went out and I got to get all my gross girly things out and now I feel better. I'm normal and stuff. Heh. Go figure. Eileen just freaked me out cause I was like...well, I'm talking too much. I guess I just can't say things like that at work. I forget that Tara isn't around anymore, she was my go to girl for things like this. She never made me feel weird and didn't freak me out anymore than I was already freaking out. (usually...sometimes weird things freak me out, so I can't say she NEVER freaked me out, but usually not.) Plus, I got sushi, coffee, and got to share my love of High Priestess with Jenn. It was hard to not get pierced while I was there, but I really don't have the money for it, plus they don't like to when you have a cold anyhow. But I might know what I can do next. We'll see. My ear buds may interfere and I do so love my ear buds. My new iPod is the awesome and so incredibly pink. I adore it. It has music, tv, and movie quiz...

Heh. By that I mean not on my MySpace page, though I've been putting up TMI_Chix posts galore on LJ. It's funny right now, since I'm awake and it's not happening, but let me share this maddening bit of crazy that my brain concocts at night. I put in the cream (ICK) and I go to bed. Wait, first I go pee, then I put in the cream, then I go to bed. I lay awake forever when I usually fall asleep pretty quickly, and I start thinking..hey, wouldn't it suck if I had to pee? All of the sudden, I KNOW I have to pee. I fight the urge, become convinced that the thinking is WHY I can't fall asleep and so I surrender and give up and go pee. I come back to bed after peeing only a minuscule amount and cry (not so much fun) because of course that little moment of peeing has probably WRECKED any and all chances of the medicine working. Of course. (This is my amount of neurosis, this is why I feel stupid half the time) Repeat as necessary. Any fellow pee-ers out there? Any sort o...