Random Thoughts

Jenn and I went out and I got to get all my gross girly things out and now I feel better. I'm normal and stuff. Heh. Go figure. Eileen just freaked me out cause I was like...well, I'm talking too much. I guess I just can't say things like that at work. I forget that Tara isn't around anymore, she was my go to girl for things like this. She never made me feel weird and didn't freak me out anymore than I was already freaking out. (usually...sometimes weird things freak me out, so I can't say she NEVER freaked me out, but usually not.) Plus, I got sushi, coffee, and got to share my love of High Priestess with Jenn. It was hard to not get pierced while I was there, but I really don't have the money for it, plus they don't like to when you have a cold anyhow. But I might know what I can do next. We'll see. My ear buds may interfere and I do so love my ear buds. My new iPod is the awesome and so incredibly pink. I adore it. It has music, tv, and movie quiz...

This was originally posted on Thursday, March 27th. ----------------------------------------------------------- I’ve fallen asleep every night since Monday around 9. I ALMOST made it to 9:30 last night, but I still fell asleep before South Park came on. Very sad. I’m lame, and apparently still sick? Or else just very, very tired. Hence not much MySpace going on. I’m back to being very un caught up. =S I have a long weekend, so maybe I’ll be caught up by the end. =) I’m not stuffy in my head, but I have a nice lump (which I HOPE is a gland) on the side of my neck and just today it moved to underneath my chin. Well, it’s really in both places, but less hurty on the side of my neck. You all didn’t want to hear from me anyhow, I’ve been a bit of a bitch this week. Tuesday was particularly bad, I think it’s because it was my mom’s birthday and while I didn’t not send email or anything (cause she didn’t on my birthday and I am just NOT the bigger person), I was aware of it all day. She’s 49....

That’s how I feel all of the sudden. I’m tired and just walking up the stairs made my legs shaky. I think this officially counts as being sick. I’m going to take pills and pretend I’m not. I have plans and I WILL be going to play pool at Good Times on Saturday. Sick or not. I don’t even care. =) I’m kind of hungry, but I don’t even want to make the effort to walk the floor to get food. I called Ben and asked what we should have for dinner and he said porridge. Neither of us is hungry, doesn’t bode well for Derek. lol. Not really of course, we will feed him. We just may not feed ourselves. Maybe my weigh in on Friday will be fantastic, what with my sudden loss of appetite. When I’m not hungry? Sure sign that I’m officially sick. I ALWAYS have an appetite. I’m listening to "L.A. Song" and I’ll tell you that I really like it. I never cared for it much on the compilation but it just randomly popped up on my iPod and I was like...OH! I like this song, what is it? Why am I comparin...

I feel like I have about a billion appointments all of the sudden. I have to go back to the doctor Friday, to check up on everything. I am feeling better, not 100 percent, but better. The headaches may not be able to be gotten rid of unfortunately. It still resides, though it's not a permanent thing, like if I forget about it and think about anything else it doesn't hurt. Mind over matter? Who really knows. All I know for sure is that I go back Friday, and hopefully they will have some better news. Or better pills. People seem shocked that no one has taken my blood yet. What's the big deal? I've only had blood drawn once and that was when I was pregnant, so I'm pretty used to doctors not taking my blood. What good is it anyways? Do sicknesses reside in blood? It felt like I was getting a cold or the flu, so what good does blood do? And if it is an allergy, then checking my blood won't help. Maybe I'll ask them to check my blood. Maybe I need glasses and that...

I think I still have a bit of drainage in my throat. The constant headache? My head actually feels pretty damn good, but I have been home since I started taking the medicine. I work Saturday, so the long weekend to try and feel better has been really nice. Today though? I started sneezing violently this morning around 11, and one side of my nose has been itchy and sneezy ever since. Like the dwarf. It's starting to hurt my stomach muscles, and I'm curious as to what I am allergic too. This is the typical reaction to hay fever, which I believe is a grass allergy for me. Some people are allergic to the trees, but I'm pretty sure it's grass that fucks me up. The guy in the back of us did do something with his lawn so perhaps it was his grass. Asshole. LOL. It's almost a metallic taste, whatever is in my throat. I think the steroids have been good for my lungs though, I feel like I can take deeper breaths. Which helps with all the tiredness I was feeling. I haven't ...

The doctor gave me steroids. She thinks I'm allergic to something, something more than my common hay fever allergy. I had a hard time believing that because hay fever makes me want to claw my face off, and it makes me sneeze, a LOT. I don't feel like that. Just the sore throat and the headaches. So I got prednisone. My old friend. Hurray. I read everything on the bottle and the paper the pharmacy gave me. There may be side effects, such as bigger appetite, more energy, difficulty sleeping due to the energy, and moodiness. That's only what the doctor told me. The side of the bottle says that "this medicine may lower my ability to fight off infections. Avoid contact with people who have contagious diseases." Which is like half the accounting department. A lot of people were out sick at least one day last week, myself included. The paper says it may cause stomach irritation, hand, feet, or facial swelling, and headaches. HEADACHES? That was part of the whole fucking ...

I tend to over react to things. LOL. That might even be an understatement. I tend to blow things out of proportion sometimes. I'd like to think life is more fun that way, and I'll tell you, I'm rarely bored. I get all butt hurt over stupid crap all the time. For instance, my psyche (ha, I typed psycho first!) smacked me in the face this morning. I was dreaming as I hit the snooze button, and for some reason in my dream Ben told me that our sex life was boring. Thanks subconscious. That's what I needed to wake up to. Fuck you too buddy. But this is really about more pressing matters. See, since I am over dramatic, I look to others for feedback on lots of things. Especially my not quite sickness right now. I haven't taken any Tylenol today, and I'm pretty sure I still feel stupid in the head. I want to go home and take my temperature and hope I have a fever. ANY OUTWARD SIGN OF SICKNESS WOULD BE NICE. I've ran this by a quite a few people and the people who h...

...Or the back to the doctor. Whatever. I don't get to see my specific doctor, but I do get to see a doctor. Friday, cause tomorrow is a bad day for it. They wanted me to come in today, but I would have had to have flown there. Just wasn't enough time for it. Tomorrow is check run day and I have to close Customer Service, so again, bad timing. Friday should be easy-peasy though. I'm off early due to having to be here for a nine hour day (two days in a row), and I've told the boss I'm not giving it up. Since my appointment is at 11, I probably will only be at work for 4-5 hours. Which will help my head. I stayed home Monday and Tuesday and hoped I would feel better, but no such luck. The instant I wake up in the morning, my eyes are BURNING and all I want is to go back to bed. Plus, I'm like instantly fatigued. The headache that had resided behind my right eye for weeks? Has now moved over to the left side. Along with my semi-sore throat. I was hoping that means ...

When they say that in Office Space? I groan every time. If someone made a scrunchy face at me at work and said "Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays"?, they might possibly end up dead. Not really. I don't think anyone likes Mondays in general, but I don't know anyone who would say something like that. Here at the bookstore, it's not your typical Monday. See, it's right after Audit, so a few people have went on vacation, a few people are off for Saturday, and about the only people we have here today are the kids. The kids=all interns and my cashiers. So, it's been quiet. Which is good and bad. No one to get on my case also means the day seems to go SO slow and I spend too much time taking a quick peek at the internet here and there. In the long run, I have to police myself. Audit is over, so that's a big thing gone. What I still need to do before they take all my files from last year away is to pull the remainder of the checks I need for ...

I'm having a hard time of it today. You know, that whole being poor thing? We know we are heading to the fair tomorrow night and that we will spend money there, so I should not spend money tonight. But really? It's all I seem to want to do. First of all, I reminded Ben that we needed to have chicken tonight. 4 nights of dinner left planned, 3 of which are chicken. He apparently has started to hate chicken. Which just means I'm going to have to find a way to replace that in our menu choice. It wouldn't be such a damn problem, but he HAS to cut off all the pieces that don't look fantastic to him. Every extra inch of white fat? Cut off. So he hates it because he makes it hard. Which is not very kind of me to say, but I'm still not feeling well so I'm not feeling very kind. Since he dislikes the chicken, we are going to be eating more of some other very processed food. The chicken was like...the healthiest thing I could think of, and even that is done with proce...

I was more than a little freaked out on Saturday. I think I'm better now. No more weirdness, just the little bit that is clearing up now. I shared with TMI_Chix, and that made me feel better. Since I actually shared with them, I suppose I can share now. I got a boil, in a rather private area. And it was really sudden, I barely noticed it before it popped. So I figured, no biggie, I'll just bandage it up and it'll be fine. Except Friday I noticed that it was rather painful, so I felt around a little bit, and noticed that it was hard and painful in another area. I removed the bandage, and then noticed ANOTHER boil. Much larger, much more painful. I've never gotten two in a row, and the internet told me that it could be an infection and that I could need antibiotics and that's all I knew about it. Good news? It hasn't spread to another one, and it is still a little painful, but much smaller. I assume it's leaking the nastiness out. I've been using Neospor...

That subject up there has nothing to do with what I am going to write about, I just love that lyric line. I thought I would rant a little here about how my life is going right now. Home is good, my health is not. =( I'm going to the doctor Tuesday, cause we were all informed not to call in Monday, and I'm sure they need me enough to not have time to get out to Springfield, via bus, then back. This is a big thing, cause I hate my doctor. A bunch. But I'm FREAKING OUT. Thanks Dad, for the hypochondriac gene. Like I need more to worry about. My skin has always been a source of irritation, I don't have nice skin. It likes to get weird little irritations, boils, all sorts of things. I'm not even going to go into detail on what my problem is exactly, cause it's kind of gross, but I'm just so sad. =( One of my best favorite parts of skin has a LOT of irritation, and I'm afraid it's going to scar, and I think I just might die then. (yes, I'm being melodr...

I love Jill Sobule. I have NO idea how to say her last name, but I love her music. I know "I kissed a girl" is pretty over done, and mainstream, but I still love listening to that song. I've been sick, people. A weird kind of sick where I'm too cold and sore and don't want to move. I cleaned the HELL out of my stove on Monday. It took about 45 minutes and an application of Easy off, left on over night. Easy my ass. It was all at the wrong angle and my legs were a bit sore afterwards, but I was like..whatever! I'm fine. And I was...until Tuesday. I woke up and I was immediately exhausted. Right off the bat. I got up and I was like...whoa boy. My legs HURT, and my stomach hurts; pretty much from the waist down hurt. Then I started getting cramps in my stomach and it was that much worse. Now, seriously, do I really think that 45 minutes of vigorous cleaning knocked my ass out like that? I thought maybe, but I'm still sore and it's since moved into other ...

I stayed away from the internet ALL DAY yesterday. Monday was busy, in that Derek threw up twice, his fever hit 103, and we started dosing him up hardcore with Tylenol and Motrin. His fever stayed manageable. And since he's one of those kids where he's sick for like...a day...and then he's all better, I didn't worry to much about it the next day. I kept him home and I stayed home, just so that I could make sure. He looked fine all morning, not his usual fidgety self, but fine. I asked him if he thought I should take his temperature...which I should have been doing all along. It was at 104.4...I took the temp two more times, thinking for sure I was doing something wrong. I dosed him up with the Motrin, I took a cool rag and held it to his face, I checked his temp. about every 20 minutes. It wasn't going down fast enough for me. Inside I was panicking, outside I tried to be calm and I ALMOST did it. Ben asked me if I'd like to go outside with him and smoke before ...

I am not dead, all. I might have wished it over the long, sick weekend, but I am back and in better shape. When I went home Thursday, my fever reached a high of 100.7. So, I laid around around and wished that my whole body didn't hurt so DAMN bad. Then I started getting phone calls. I swear, my phone hardly ever rings for me, but it was like they all knew I was sick. So, I took a few of the calls, skipped a few as well. I should prolly call her back, but I don't even know what she wanted, since she wouldn't leave a message. Felt better on Friday, even went to Shari's for coffee with Ariel and Tammi. That was much fun. Yummy vanilla lattes and cheesy bacon fries. Although my appetite hasn't really been all that great. I am hungry, but then don't think anything sounds good. I haven't even opened the chocolates that I got for V-day. So, then my son comes home on Friday with a headache, which very quickly turned into a fever and throwing up. YAY! Poor kid, he fe...

Good lord, I am having hot and cold flashes. I just had goosebumps, but now I am HOT. WTF?

Damn, damn. I think she gave me the flu. I am doing my damndest not to breathe on anyone, but I cannot afford to not be here today. Cause I use my stupid sick time so that I can take my "mental health" day and not kill anyone. Anyhow, been running a fever of about 99.4 and I usually run about 97.4 or something. I guess I am cold-blooded ;p. My whole body hurts and my stomach is acting up (good thing I can't vomit), and I am NOT good at being sick. I am a whiny baby. Mainly because I don't have my mommy to take care of me. I will be damned if I let this ruin my 3 day weekend. I have plans for coffee tomorrow, and CD shopping for Valentine's day. Since the BF has already got my present. Also, thanks for all the helpful comments from everyone. I might try to get the program to make my pictures smaller, but it is prolly frowned upon here. Maybe if I really buy the computer I want with my tax returns, then I could put decent size pics on here. Anyhow, I better go, just...