Random Thoughts

I keep thinking I should really tidy this up. I mean, I don't even know if any of my links work anymore. But the time? When do I have the time? Now don't get me wrong, I have plenty of free time lately, but it's hard to do anything from my iPod and if I am in the room with the computer, Ben follows me and/or gets on the computer first. I know, white people problems, huh? Friday I get to make yummy veggie laden dinner with Ariel and my old roommate Heather. Excited for that, but man Monday takes forever. Especially when it's the late shift. I'm trying to eat healthier, or at least start to incorporate more veggies in. I've already stated with fruits, eating apples and yogurt for breakfast semi-daily. And! It's almost my birthday. I tried, in vain, to hold it in. I haven't been telling people monthly, maybe I told Ben once or twice, but not that it's less than 3 weeks away, I'm practically bursting with excitement. Sounds like a day trip to...

7 whole views this week! I have "visitors" who I am decidedly more excited about than they are on south park. I figured that deserved a post but then I spent the whole day cleaning and then I started drinking. Cause it's the weekend and I must squeeze every goddamn bit of it out. Add that to a late start tomorrow and of course I started drinking. Which means this is all of a post you get. Ps. How come Fox used to have so many good shows? WTF Fox? You heightened my expectations and then got rid of anything that wasn't animation.

My site meter broke. It didn't even recognize my sign in anymore. How can I tell if anyone is reading without a site meter? Now I had to make a new one and my 16,000 hits or so are all gone. Today is fucking lame. Graduation means craziness here and my brain hurts. People like to huff and puff and heave great fucking sighs of exasperation. You are merely feeding my annoyance and now I'm gonna be an asshole too. So good job. Seriously looking forward to steaks with Jenn on Saturday. STEAKS.

Father’s day is not an awesome holiday for me. Last year I must have been so panicked about getting kicked out of my house and finding a new place…that it just kind of happened and I didn’t really think about it. This year was not the same. I thought I was fine and I would be fine and then I’d open facebook and see everyone talking about their dads..or my brain would pipe up and remind me how I didn’t have a dad anymore. Or a grandpa. Then I’d tear up and then I’d feel like a moron. I mean…should I still be this easy to tear up? Maybe it was just the holiday? It’s not like I see my dad any less now than I did before considering I hadn’t seen him since I was 12 almost 13. I always thought there would be time later. Of course I did. It’s one thing to know how unlikely it was for me to go to Colorado and see people, including my dad…but entirely another to know I CAN’T ever see him again. So I hid in my house, tearing up and trying to pretend I wasn’t….and I read. A whole ...

Was thinking about parenting this week as my child was preparing to leave my “nest” for Portland for 7 long weeks…(they feel long now, will no doubt fly by as life does). Most everything is a double edged sword. You try doing something this way or that way and suddenly an entirely different problem will present itself. Life is weird like that. For instance – I often find myself telling people how my kid is sheltered, a bit naïve and I’ll always follow that up with something along the lines of liking it that way. To an extent, that is true. I do appreciate his naiveté in the face of so many, many kids his age running around and knowing “too much” about things I feel are adult topics. Flip that coin though….he’s also less mature. And maybe less prepared to deal with issues should they arise. Things like sex, boobs, drugs….I honestly don’t know which way he’d go. When I was trying to feel him out the other night after his promotion ceremony about any girls he may have had crushes...