Random Thoughts

Today sucked and then I came home. Where I was assaulted at every turn with the shopping trip FAIL I pulled off Friday. We overspent already, but some how we managed to neglect some kind of important things. Then I noticed that we are already almost out of fucking cereal because I am an asshole who bought Crispix. Which everyone fucking loves so why did I think it would last two weeks? The snacks that Derek makes a big deal about are almost gone too and I'm pissed. Now he'll tell everyone how he NEVER has snacks and really between him and Ben they just eat them ALL. The cereal only lasted this long because I have been skipping breakfast. Those assholes who say that people who eat breakfast generally weigh less are fucking liars. I've cut back calorie consumption and I'm not somehow "starving" when the cereal inevitably sends me to carb crashdown. So now I'm sitting here worrying about snacks and fucking cereal and all I can think is that if I'd spent l...

I've been seeing people taking the "how long would you survive" test. I'm pretty sure I'd be first. That last time I had a zombie dream I held off the zombie by pushing him away using his head. Like an annoying little brother or sister. Pretty ineffectual, I'm thinking. Spiders are obviously less scary than zombies would be, which is why it's troublesome that I can't always kill the spider. Some days I'm fine and can kill it (and feel OH SO VICTORIOUS), mostly when Ben is asleep and I scare one in the bathroom. Today though... I was washing my hands when I noticed a VERY LARGE brown thing peeking out from behind the mouth rinse bottle. One leg half angled onto my razor. Not an easy spot to try and kill a spider. So I tried to convince myself that there was no way that huge thing was a spider. It was probably dust or something. I looked a little closer and saw it glaring malevolently staring at me. (ok...so maybe it wasn't looking at me but giv...

But I don't suck as bad as my old journal. Filled with worries, stupid boys, dumb thoughts. Oh man. I was a dumb ass teenager. The next boy I set my sights on was no more worthy than many of the ones before him. His name was Caleb and he had bug eyes, but for some reason (confidence, I think?) I was drawn to him. I will say that I met Joi through him long before we did anything, so at least I got Joi out of it. =) He was full of himself. And I was willing to believe he was all that. I slept with him one night after watching "Dusk Till Dawn" at the Bijou. I was currently nursing quite a few crushes. I'd spent the night with him prior, but only cuddling, no sleeping together. It seemed like every time I started to realize what an asshole he really was, he'd do something nice or make me think he was cooler than he was. One night he took me out to a movie, "Fear" and I was impressed that he'd asked me. Turns out that the tickets were free and no one else...