Random Thoughts

OMG FUCK THAT POST. I tried to edit and only made it worse. Fuck you blogger.

OMG yall. What the fuck happened with that post down there? This is what I get for typing it out and then pasting later. I'm gonna try to fix it, but no promises. My brain is a douche bag. I realize that title up there is gonna make you think that I have an answer as to why my brain is a douche bag, but I merely have examples, no answers. I could blame it all on my childhood, but we all know I've beaten that into the ground. I feel like I blame everything on my childhood, but never really give it credit. So a short list of why it wasn't so bad growing up me.. I'm SO fucking capable of handling almost anything. Sure I flail about and whine and maybe don't know enough adult stuff to do things like buy a house on my own, but when shit goes down I fucking take care of it. I know how. Mostly. Or at least I pretend. Got pregnant at 16, didn't even create a reality TV series from it, instead got my shit together and today he is a fairly well adjusted almost 15 year...

Weekends…..I love them so. Pretty sure they don’t always love me though. Friday was sad…Saturday Ben went to bed early, I was the one who was up and couldn’t sleep, figured it’d be a perfect opportunity to watch a horror movie, but then realized how creepy it would be at midnight with a sleeping, snoring man upstairs. Yesterday we watched Clueless again. I "15="15" 25="25" also="also" and="and" badly.="badly." be="be" cause="cause" don="don" done="done" down="down" enough="enough" have="have" hurt="hurt" i="i" just="just" keep="keep" legs="legs" make="make" maybe="maybe" meds.="meds." might="might" movie.="movie." my="my" myself="myself" not="not" or="or" pushing="pushing" should="should" so=...

So this is endorphin high? I LOVE this feeling. I busted my ass last night trying to get home in the allotted time Google gives you on their maps and I probably would’ve made it, but instead I waited at the liquor store for Ben because audit sucks. Oh yeah. Audit sucks. I hate it. I probably say this once a year at least. If not multiple times during this time period each year, but it REALLY does. Everything is so stress ridden. *sigh* Anyhow. Started this week discouraged. Blood pressure readings were higher at the beginning of the week and I was like…this is all for nothing. That damn doctor is still gonna put me on meds if I can’t get this shit under control. That was how I felt. No plans to walk at all made for the week and I was very discouraged so I emailed my mentor (yes Jenn I’ve decided that you are my mentor in this, since you are the only person I know right now who goes to the gym. On a regular basis) and was like “I’m discouraged, this is pointless, what am I doi...