Random Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately and while that usually means Ben bears the brunt of my crazy..well..I've had other things on my mind. Not that he doesn't get the brunt of my random bouts of crazy....it still happens. I'm tired of death, I suppose everyone who's had to deal with it at all is. Christmas makes things harder....I kept wishing for a phone call that would never come. Dad would always call on my birthday and on Christmas. While we didn't have a lot of contact besides that, those were set in stone. So yeah, this particular Christmas was hard. I think I was still numb last year and he still "saved" my Christmas since my step mom sent that $500 check. He'd saved Christmas so many times...this one I knew I was on my own and it's been depressing. They say money doesn't solve everything, but it certainly helps. I stress less, I know that. The talker was like..well, Christmas is also about family and I shut her down pretty quickly with ...

So much to say. To the whole two people who read this. Hell, the only two people I allow to read this. Maybe not true. But I just need to write. Moving – I moved. Moving sucked. Dealing with the crazy ex landlord long after we moved SUCKS more. But my new house is kick ass. I loves it. I love my neighbor. It’s been a damn long time since I like anyone I lived next to this much. Plus, I’m close to a lot of things now. The old landlord has charged me way over my deposit. I counter offered. No response. So crazy. Also! I have a new neighbor who is also awesome and while sometimes I may feel a little left out cause her and Jenni are so close the only thing I can do about that is get to know her better. She’s a honey badger. Honey badger’s don’t give a damn. Death – It’s been over a year since Dad died. Last month he would have been 57. I hate that sentence. It screams UNFAIR to me. I miss him even though I didn’t see him much at all. Indeed not at all since just before I turned 13. My mom ...