Random Thoughts

Not that I haven't been. I have, just the cheating whore kind of blogging on MySpace. So now you get updates. Hopefully funny, but probably not as I am drunk and I have a bump in an area that is hurting me. Not my ass thankfully, no, a more delicate place. I take that back. Can I please have an ass bump again? I'm also going to do that thing where I put the oldest post at the bottom. Hah. Cause it's easiest for me. And I am drunk. Did I mention that? Plus I have to eat Hamburger Helper for dinner and it's sapped my will to live. P.S. Today I did something that I may actually be a little ashamed of. I shall speak of it no more after this. P.S.S. I was just re-reading some of my blogs, and I officially HATE my fucking bangs. They are ALWAYS in my face. I'm about to shave them off. P.S.S.S. There you go. A whole month of blog entries, copied over from MySpace like the MySpace whore I am. ------------------------------------------- August 30, 2008 Let me tell you someth...

I only do what I do. Maybe I do piss people off. But I was listening to Eminem's "Stan" the other day, and I'm pretty much astounded every time I listen to it... It's deep. The rift from Dido only serves to emphasize it's seriousness. And actually? I HATE the Dido song at this point. Cause it's so light and fluffy compared to the monumentous version by Eminem. Undoubtably, people are offended by him, I've always viewed him as pretty much tongue in cheek, and funny when it was over the top. However, in all seriousness? His music is deep. Or maybe I'm just weird? That's been the case too before.

I had a BALL. Not literally, of course. I met Heather at the liquor store downtown, we headed to Good Times to see Mike and have a beer or two. Then out to Heather's house to get ready. I got to play with her wiener dogs and Jager was competing with Ester for wiener dog who loves me most. He just kept laying on me, and showing me his belly. Then he would get this little gap tooth grin on his face when I would pet him. Jasper sat patiently in the middle of the room waiting for his ball. Or not so patiently at times, but he was trying. Then when given the ball, he barked ferociously at it when it would get away from him. He kept finding it, blind though he may be. We decided that we should eat something, so Heather bought us some cheeseburgers and we sat in front of Skinner's Butte park and ate. Watching the kids have fun. Saturday was truly a glorious day, perfect for ambling about outside. Which we did a bit of after parking Heather's car downtown. We sat on the mall for ab...

Originally posted on Thursday, April 16th to MySpace __________________________________________________________________________ How many times did I use to sing that exact lyric to Derek and he would get his boogie on? lol. Or what about when that one song came out...omg! I can't remember the name, but the one where it goes "WOOHOO!" during the chorus. Another one of those "alt-rock" songs that came out when Derek was small. edit- Blur - Song 2. How would I forget that? lol. He would always smile REALLY big at the "Woohoo!" part of it. =) I miss that cuteness of toddler hood/babyhood more and more. Not enough to have another, but I do miss it. =) Also, I'm having a huge mind screw. Does anyone know what Beastie Boys song it is that has a lyric along the lines of "We like the girl with the...."? It was on KNRQ the other night when I put Derek to bed, and I know it's Beastie Boys, I also know it's not a song that usually plays on t...

Trying to cross post on lunch since my computer at home SUCKS. Originally posted to MySpace on April 11, 2008 ____________________________________________________________________________ I'm sitting here listening to that Tom Petty song. I decided I loved it from "Silence of the Lambs", before I knew how very, very good it really was. But I really like the part of that movie where she is rocking out in her car to that song. Before all the "lotion in the basket" crap. It figures it would be a scary movie to draw my attention to a kick ass song. I've decided that pretty much the best part is the lyric.."God, it's so painful for something that's so close, but still so far out of reach". I wait for that moment in the song each time and sing out loud as loud as I can. I pour my heart into it. I mean, who hasn't felt something like that in their life? Meh. The good news? Ben is making dinner cause I could not bring myself to cook, and my kid...

That’s how I feel all of the sudden. I’m tired and just walking up the stairs made my legs shaky. I think this officially counts as being sick. I’m going to take pills and pretend I’m not. I have plans and I WILL be going to play pool at Good Times on Saturday. Sick or not. I don’t even care. =) I’m kind of hungry, but I don’t even want to make the effort to walk the floor to get food. I called Ben and asked what we should have for dinner and he said porridge. Neither of us is hungry, doesn’t bode well for Derek. lol. Not really of course, we will feed him. We just may not feed ourselves. Maybe my weigh in on Friday will be fantastic, what with my sudden loss of appetite. When I’m not hungry? Sure sign that I’m officially sick. I ALWAYS have an appetite. I’m listening to "L.A. Song" and I’ll tell you that I really like it. I never cared for it much on the compilation but it just randomly popped up on my iPod and I was like...OH! I like this song, what is it? Why am I comparin...

The Daddies are going to be at the WOW hall in April. THE WOW HALL. A venue where I saw many, many shows, but was ALWAYS too young to visit "downstairs" when my friends went. They haven't played there in years, probably since before I was old enough. And I'm 27, so it's been a DAMN long time. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I fell out of the show habit after Derek was born, but this feels right. I'm buying 2 presale tickets tomorrow, one for myself, one for my Heather. Of course. I can't go without my Heather. Well, I would have, but it would have been SAD. It's hard to believe, but it's true. I'm so damn excited. Did I say that already? LOL.

I feel lots better. Almost normal really. My attitude is better, but that might be because it's Friday and I don't have to go to work tomorrow! YAY. I wouldn't mind work so much if I didn't have to deal with so many people! All the time, and everyone has their own little nuances and neuroses just as I have mine. It's just that their's annoy me! LOL. I only annoy me a little usually. Ha ha. It was a busy day, Tara took me to lunch though, and that was super nice of her. We ran a bit over, but man it was good to get out of there for lunch and away from other people. Our own little corner, complete with Mexican food. I was thinking about my a play list on my iPod, and how it may actually tell you exactly how much I vary on my music. Like...I don't listen to Christian anything, but I think I listen to almost everything else. Not a lot of classical, but some. Anyhow, I've been listening to this play list for the past two days, and guys? I totally suck. Some o...

I completely forgot at least two different songs I got from the commercials. Ack. My brain is fluff, but I shall try. My head has been hurting all day (I'm blaming it on my son) so I may not make sense. You've been warned. Ok..back to where I was.. I believe it was another i-something commercial where you get Mary J. Blige, who pretty much always makes me happy. That one was called "Work That" and I've been listening to it off an on. I guess I can't decide if it puts me in my happy place yet. I really dug the song from the Dentyne commercial with the frog..turns out it was called "Stuttering" from a band called Ben's Brother. The video on YouTube was pretty much "teh awesome", and I had it as my profile song for a bit, but it's been changed now. You can find it or them via MySpace if you should happen to care. Speaking of YouTube, I've been getting back into The Prodigy lately. So I went and found "Smack my b**** up" b...

I hate commercials. A lot. I don't even listen to the radio anymore. So where do I get my new music? A few places - I subscribed to Blender, and it's given me quite a few songs I liked, including "Paper Planes" - MIA and "LDN" - Lily Allen. Every issue so far has me running to the computer to download music. Ironically enough, I've been getting quite a few songs lately from commercials for TV. Songs such as "Music is my hot, hot sex" (referenced in the title) from the iTouch commercial. I downloaded Fiest's "1234" after seeing it on the TV, and I can't seem to get enough of "You Give Me Something" from James Morrison (currently on my MySpace), which I caught in a commercial for some channel. All I know is I keep seeing Denis Leary's face on fire in that commercial. It's weird. More songs pop up on MTV and VH1 that I end up liking, such as Sara Barielles (which I got as a free iTune ages ago, and I've been...

I always come back around to Poe. I think it was Kate who got me hooked on Poe. She had the CD with Angry Johnny on it, and I always loved that song. Many years later, I finally bought it for myself. Or maybe I copied someone's. I don't remember now. But I did buy "Haunted" and it might be my favorite CD ever. It's weird and has all the voices through out it, but all the songs seem like she's just really letting the world know that no matter what, she is gonna make it through. Guy problems, family problems? Doesn't even matter. I never skip "Wild", it's my favorite song, and damn is it long, but it's fantastic. "I go wild cause you break me open Wild cause you left me here I go wild Wild because the chips are down Wild because there isn't anybody else around Wild when the waves start to break And God knows they're breaking in me now Wild 'cause it doesn't make sense For me to cry out in my own defense Wild 'cause ...

I liked this song when I had only heard the chorus. The devil in me still likes it, but WHOA. "At first, when I see you cry, it makes me smile. At worst, I'll feel bad for awhile, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile." First of all, HURRAY for MTV. Without it's movies awards, I would not have downloaded the 7 or 8 new songs on my iPod. Or knew about them. Well, I'd heard of some of them, but it helped when I heard them, and then went on a downloading spree. I need to make Tara some CDs, so I'll be downloading more. At least I managed to finally take enough pictures to fill up a CD, and make more space on the computer. That hard drive really doesn't have enough space. Not for us. So, we don't know. Maybe we'll buy a new hard drive next year when I can, or maybe we'll get a whole new computer. This one is getting louder and louder, and then we could have one in the living room for Derek to play with. Every time a big speck of dust gets c...

If not I'll go. I'm semi-angsty today. The thing is that nothing really bad happened to me. Maybe it's just work. Maybe it's having to get up and get ready. Maybe I should get up a couple of hours earlier than I need to, so that I can just lay around for awhile? I don't know. In about 20 minutes, I'll be down to less than 100 songs not listened to in my Itunes. I don't think you all really understand. I've gotten really damn competitive about the damn iPod stuff. First it was that Ben had more music than me. I have at least 200 more artists than he does at this point, and even a whole day's worth of music more. See, cause he had to needle me. Not meanly, just the regular crap we give each other. He was like..well, I have more music. I BEAT him at that. I WON. And I was bragging (my downfall) and he was like..sure, but you have about 900 songs you haven't even listened to in your library. Not that I haven't ever listened to them, just not in I...

This post is brought to you by the Drunken Des. Why are bar bathrooms so small? I mean...why do they want the drunken people to contort to wipe? Wiping is sanitary, so I don't really understand. I'll probably be sore tomorrow from the contortionist positions. (She's built like a candy store, and lord I've had too much!) Cherry Poppin' Daddies are pretty much the best. Just so you know. I can't even fucking type right now. I still want to lobby for bigger bathrooms in bars. I mean, if people are gonna throw up, and I assume they are, why wouldn't the bathrooms be bigger? Still, me and Heather got to 2nd on Music Trivia. We both got loud and it was awesome. My bartender was named Desiree. Can you believe that shit? Neither can I. (I tasted the cool whip, and produced her my whipped cream) I love the Daddie's while drunk. (That man talks down to you, and you talk down to me to now) I'm so glad that I actually censor you from my inability to type. Heathe...

Control by Poe Don't you mess With a little girl's dream 'Cause she's liable to grow up Mean Surprise you to find that I'm laughing? You thought that you'd find me in tears. You thought I'd be crawling The walls like a tiny mosquito And trembling in fear. Well, you may be king for the moment But I am a queen understand And I've got your pawns and your bishops and castles All inside the palm of my hand. While you were looking the other way While you had your eyes closed While you were licking your lips 'Cause I was miserable While you were selling your soul While you were tearing a hole in me I was taking control Now I have taken control. now i have taken control. now i have taken control. control... This is beginning to feel good Watching you squirm in your shoes A small bead of sweat on your brow And a growl in your belly Your scared to let through You thought you could keep me from loving You thought you could feed on my soul But while you were bus...

I am gonna wallow in my self-pity for a little longer, bear with me, or don't and skip to someone else's. Paper Bag - Fiona Apple I was staring at the sky just looking for a star To pray on, or wish on, or something like that I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy Whose reality i knew, was a hopeless to be had But then the dove of hope began its downward slope And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed But as it came down near, so did a weary tear I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag *chorus* Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills Cuz I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold hunger hurts, but starving works When it costs too much to love And I went crazy again today, Looking for a strand to climb Looking for a little hope Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine, And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope I said, "Honey, I don...

Well, Thursdays are my bad days apparently. It seems like I hit a slump every Thursday and while I am not 100 percent better today, I am sure it will come with time. I went home last night and did my damndest to hold it all in, because there was really no good reason why I felt so down. And, I almost managed. I got to the point where the BF asked me if I had a bad day at work and I was just like yeah, but I kept holding it in. So, I went into the bathroom to blow my nose about a hundred times. And my child (who was bathing) tells me that tomorrow (today) is his "funny hat day". Now I had seen this on a note yesterday morning, which doesn't give me a whole lotta time to do anything about it. But I kept thinking about it all day. Thinking ok, well, I could make him a hat. So, he tells me this last night and then tells me that one of us could go and get him one. HUH? So, I ask him when he thinks we should just go to the store and buy one, and he says tomorrow, I guess he mea...

Gwen] Come on Johnny, when you gonna get here? [Johnny] Alright, hold your pretty horses. I'll be there in a minute You just get yourself dolled up, alright toots And you pick a place, you just pick a place [Gwen]Umm, Johnny [Johnny] Yeah, Gweny, Gwen, Gwen [Gwen] You might want to hurrry, because tonight is the night I'm empty, I need fulfilling, yes I do love To the ceiling, when I do love I get this feeling when I'm in love I'm restless, can't you see I try my bestest To be good girl, because it's just us So take me now and do me justice I'm waiting patiently Anticipating your arrival And I'm hating It takes so long to get to my house To take me out Tonight, I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat Bubble pop electric, bubble pop electric Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat Bubble pop electric Uh-oh, in the back seat Ok now, I understand he's on his way now But jeez Louise, I mean today now I can't wait, I wanna play...

Love it, love it, love it. Can you tell I am impressed with this CD. I think it freaking rocks. I love Gwen though. I have this poster of No Doubt where she is just looking out (seemingly, like she is looking at you) and I love it. Haven't hung it up at the new place. (sure, it's still new 1 year and 1/2 later.) I really should. Looks like you guys get a short post now. Appreciate it? ;p

I've been listening to Bikini Kill. Angry girl punk music. Not that I am terribly angry. It just felt like it was time to listen to them again. My favorite songs are Carnival, which has one of the best lines of a song ever. "This is a song about 16 year old girls giving carnies head, for free rides and hits of pot. I wanna go, I wanna go" Then there is Rebel Girl, which brings to mind some damn happy times. A friend introduced me to this music. A wonderful, beautiful friend who I don't hang out with anymore. She freaking rocked. Her name was Joi. "Joi with an I", as she would always say. "Rebel girl, you are the queen of my world. Rebel girl, rebel girl....I think I want to take you home, I want to try on your clothes, ooooo" She let me stay with her when I was a homeless 15 year old who knew nothing. She was 4 years older than me and always excited and in a good mood. I really miss her. She got married and I think she quit calling me...