Random Thoughts

I've avoided talking about this all week. My weight went up. That five pounds I lost last time? Gained that back, plus another pound. And it's fine to be happy with your body and all that, and I'm really trying not to obsess over a number, but this could affect my health. They went on and on about how my specific birth control can make you gain weight, can make you feel hungry when you're not, or that Depo puts on two pounds every year that you CAN'T LOSE. Which is bullshit. I mean, I already eat when I'm not necessarily hungry, obviously. But how can they track that? How can they say that it's definitely the birth control's fault? In August when I went in, I expressed my concern over my seeming senility and how I'd managed to forget to take the pill a little to often for my liking. They seemed to think that Depo was the way to go, even though I kept asking about an IUD. She didn't like that idea apparently. And I didn't care, as long as some...

I have an appointment tomorrow. My regular, shot in the ass, birth control appointment. Hurray for birth control, really! But they are just not my favorite appointments. I go in, I wait for what feels like hours, then they WEIGH ME. Which is my least favorite part and they know it. They're always like...well, we don't have to weigh you and I'm like...no, it's better that I know how much I weigh occasionally. Last visit, I'd lost 5 lbs. This visit? I don't know. I'm kinda worried about it. I NEVER seem to notice when I'm gaining weight. My pants are always worn a little loose, and so they rarely end up being tight to give away my weight gain. I just never know until I am actually weighed. I haven't been drinking as much water as I should be. Today I came in and strapped on the feed bag, as Tara calls it. I ate a small bag of cheetoes, and then turned around and ate a whole grab bag of Munchos. I think I am addicted to them. I bought some Friday, and I...

I'm seriously running out of lyrics that work for certain topics. Like dreams, or anything to do with my weight. People don't sing about their weight. Maybe there's a reason, but this is my blog so I talk about whatever the hell I want. ;p I went in for my depo shot on Friday. I was dreading it, as I seem to gain weight without realizing it. The whole trip was weird. The bus doesn't run when I thought it did, so instead I had to go a different route. I was there really early, and had to listen to people hack and argue and all this bullshit. They call me back and put me on the scale and I've lost 5 pounds! FIVE WHOLE POUNDS. If I've gained 3 (last time), then I'm 2 down! I know. It seems like I'm being far too excited, but 5 pounds actually sounds like a decent amount. I don't know. I guess it makes me hopeful. The lady was someone who I hadn't seen before, but she was like my cheerleader and just made a HUGE deal out of my losing weight. I walked...