Random Thoughts

Seems like it always happens that whenever I have to get up early, early and go to work I don't sleep well. At all. It makes me sad, cause then I have to be here for like..almost ten hours today and on top of everything I'm so tired. Meh. Coffee only irritates my stomach, so keeping awake that way does not help me. I'm seriously entertaining the thought though, even though I know it's a bad idea. In any case, I hope everyone else's Saturday was better than mine, as I am working. And hope that the Ducks win, k? I have a real, honest to god vacation coming up. I've never had enough time saved up to take a week off, and so in like...May last year I sat down and figured it all out and realized it was my year for Christmas with Derek, so I planned well. I'm going to be off from the 21st to the 2nd. People keep asking me what I'm going to do on my vacation. HA! I'm gonna sit at home, it's Christmas time, I don't have any extra money, I'm just g...

"Life's short and hard like a body building elf, so save the planet and kill yourself. If you're feeling down and out, wondering what life is all about, lift your head up high and blow your brains out." No, I'm not depressed, actually Bloodhound Gang makes me kind of happy. (For being somewhat depressing lyrics, it's set to a really up tempo beat. That's what I love about Bloodhound Gang, they sing about some crazy shit, but it's always upbeat as far as the music.) That's just the way I'm going to feel after Saturday. We open EARLY and I could possibly be here for 10 hours if they need me. We're only planning for about 9 hours so far, so possible O/T is a good thing. It is just not something I'm looking forward to. I have to make the walk to Springfield Station again at 6:40 am, or else be 5 minutes late. I might do that this time. Don't know yet. I don't have money for the Dutch this time though. Derek is going to go to a frie...

Yesterday marked my fifth year of work here, according to my A/R record. My boss is a bit more confused on the actual day and I'll tell you that I do not remember. What I do remember was how quiet I was for like...the first year. I thought I would do everything wrong and I was still getting used to doing things the bookstore way. Everything was good, even if I was as scared as a mouse and made less noise than one. I was SO happy to have a job that actually utilized my degree. Now I can't help but laugh about how angry I used to get over perceived "unfairnesses". Then I grew up a little more and realized that the world is not even, is not fair. Something I should have already known really. What about my life was ever fair? Ha. I think that school was fair. I think I got used to everyone being treated the same way and the "easiness" of school. So coming into a job where certain people are treated differently was weird. Some of it was normal, since others had b...

LOL. I walked it, and it wasn't really that dark or that scary. I even bought myself a Dutch Bros. coffee to bring with me. And a new cup, so that I could actually bring it on the bus. My new Dutch cup is awesome. That is all. So far, so good for the day. We'll see how it pans out.

One Doctor's appointment down! Weight? Down a bit too. Which is awesome. I was all set to blame it on the steroids too. And now I don't have to. It would seem that having nothing taste good helped me not eat as much. Go figure. *smirk* My blood pressure was up though. Probably in response to the absurdly late bus that almost made me late for my appointment. Why is it that when you are in a hurry, people have to get off at every stop? And not just that, but they are take FOREVER to get off the bus. I don't know how bus drivers can stand it. It drives me crazy, I quite literally wanted to scream when I got off the bus and realized I had 4 minutes to get to the appointment that I probably should have been 10 minutes early for. I made it, but just barely. She's prescribed me Psuedoephedrine. The real stuff that you can only get OTC anymore. She's determined it's an allergy and I'm going to go with that. Honestly? I don't have the time, energy, or money to de...

Erin left today. My favorite coffee bar girl. One of the first people who I really felt comfortable with when I first got here. I always thought that it would be a sad, sad day when my coffee bar girls left. Then Bethany left, and now Erin is leaving. And I was right. I managed not to cry, though it's harder writing about it now not to cry. Since she has been the coffee bar supervisor, we've smirked at each other a lot more. Rolled our eyes together a lot more. Things can be pretty over the top in the Accounting department. I took a lot of pictures. I like pictures. I even got one of her and me that I don't hate. What is wrong with my neck though? I think when I try and avoid the double chin I tilt my head back too far, and my neck looks funny. Add that on to my Bruce Campbell-ish chin, and it just don't look right. Ok! I'm sorry, I'm not on par with Bruce, but I do have a jutting chin. A jutting round chin. Ok. Enough about my chin. So it was sad and stuff. Obv...

I'm still being too angsty. I have a whole post waiting about how my own mother can't be bothered to send me some pictures of my Grandma. But I thought I should change things up, and really, I can be angsty whenever I want. I know that the subject matter here has been dark recently. The poison in my brain must come out somehow. And in all reality, no one really wants to hear about it in real life. I understand, it makes people uncomfortable. So I spew it here, and in real life, I suck it up and pretend that I'm normal. That nothing bad ever happened to me. And then people can choose to read it or not. You aren't subjected to me talking about it. Not that I NEVER talk about it in real life. I do, with certain people. People who I think can handle it. People who aren't just going to feel pity for me for the rest of my life. People who realize that it's all about choices. My life may have been hard at one point, but really? It's OVER NOW. My life is damn good n...

I had a very weird week. I got a lot of questions as to why I wasn't on vacation, even though I told everyone I would not be on vacation. Mostly, people have left me the hell alone because they didn't know I was there. Which is kind of funny. Stupid whiny girl was actually somewhat funny, and I HATE it when she is funny about something. Cause I'll be on the edge, and all like..maybe she's not as bad as I think she is, and then she fucking says something else that reminds me how stupid she is. I was supposed to go out last night, but things happened and no go. Shit happens. Some other time, I'm sure. But to further my weirdness this past week, I think I committed some email faux pas while trying to make plans. I wasn't aware that email could make people hate you, but it's one more thing I'll have to remember. I mean, I don't forward pointless emails and I don't particularly like it when I get all of them, but they are from family and friends. I re...