Random Thoughts

I went home last night and got busy…..HAHAHA! Sorry Ariel, that totally came out wrong, you can keep reading if you like. I got home and the boys were out back. I went to look at my backyard is SO VERY NICE! Ok, maybe not nice, but so much better. The blackberry bushes were all pulled out. The other side was done. People who’ve seen my yard know what I am talking about. Now I can walk around and be able to see the creepy little snakes and avoid them. YAY! Since they were being so helpful, I decided I needed to do some stuff. Namely, go into Derek’s room and get the closet cleaned out. It’s clean and I am so happy, I even got to a little bit of the room. He has a RIDICULOUS amount of toys. What the fuck? Who gave him all these toys? Me? Yeah, a few of them. He has a HUGE box of stuff animals, which included such things as the Ferocious Beast, Elmo, and Big Bird. Does my kid care about Sesame Street or the Ferocious Beast? He does care about the Ferocious Beast, but he could care less ab...

What I really hate is when people are in and out all day. It makes it really hard to type anything. I get right in the middle of a good post and then I gotta switch and I totally forget what I was trying to say.

Stuck in your head? That was my plan…HAHAHA! I saw Magenta today. She came in for a job interview. I had NO idea she had applied here. I put in a good word for her. All about her sunny, cheerful disposition. And about how she is used to being on her feet (just like a cashier). Hope it works, it would be nice to work with another person I like… Now I don’t want y’all to think I hate everyone I work with. I like Tara and the cashiers in Customer Service are ok. Brendan is quiet, and helpful. It’s just that there are too many women working in accounting and they are all trying to be the boss. They are all upset about something or other and I get to hear about it. I am actually quiet around them, cause I don’t know what to talk about around them. Somedays I think that I would just love working in the coffee bar. Sure, it’s less pay, but I’d get free coffee and I got a big mouth, I could yell out drinks.

Everything I am touching is turning to crap. The system has decided the go all funky on me, on check run day! I can't handle it. I got a cigarette from Tara and went and smoked by myself. That's bad, it's usually a people thing for me. I was on the phone for 15 minutes with the people and nothing. It's just been crap. I'm tense, and I feel sick. So I got that going for me.

Ok, so I was on a great kick all morning. Just throwing compliments around at people and feeling generally lovey. I don’t know why, I think I am having an identity crisis. My reasoning? 1. I’m starting to like the damn carrots. It’s strange when I don’t eat them. How crazy is that? 2. I want to buy the pink nail polish…I know! Pink! What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not a pink girl. 3. And then I just feel really nice today. Like I should run around and be super nice to people, or at least my friends. I’ve left comments and wrote emails full of nice things. I think I am turning into some sort of Hippy-girly girl. Quick! Where are the flowy skirts? And those peasant tops?

I realized that I have NO IDEA WHERE MY JUDDS ALBUM is... It's prolly in the garage, it's not something I woulda sold. I LOVE THAT ALBUM, I can sing along with the whole thing without sounding like a complete ass, or trying to go beyond my range. I have this habit, of trying to be a soprano, when I really can't. I've noticed others do it too, so maybe it's something about being quieter and therefore better? I don't know, I think that's crap. I really like it when someone has a full voice, but somehow I still go for the falsetto thing. I hope it's in the garage...... I've got Grandpa running through my head and I have for days now... Something about the chorus. "Lovers really fall in love to stay, stand beside each other come what may Promises were something people kept, not just something they would say (and then forget) Families really bow their heads to pray, Daddies really never go away. Whooaoo, Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days....

I got my first Soap Opera Digest in the mail on Monday. That sucker was read in less than a day. I love that magazine. I am a zombie when I get it. What the hell is up with no one knowing about Jessica? Her own mother who has the same disease? Her boyfriend, who should know her well? No, uncle Todd figures it out. I like Todd, but really? As for Carlo Hesser, I hope Blair pushes him down the steps. He is the guy you love to hate. Perfect match for Dorian, if I didn't love David and appreciate the only place in the soap that you can get some comic relief. Ok, enough about OLTL. Not digging on GH right now either. Although I'm glad that Georgie is all right. I don't appreciate this crap with Luke and Tracy. I'm so rooting for Skye. She needs someone, and all the men she ends up with, end up loving someone else. Anyone else think this might push her off the wagon again? Sorry, to the people who could give a shit less. It's all fantasy, but I still like to talk about it...

THIS SAYS IT ALL: Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't call when they say they will. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT, Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, daughter-in-laws, sisters, sisters-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we be...

Tried out something new. I was quite impressed with myself, but boy do my legs hurt. Who knew being on my feet would be that much harder than being on my knees? I thought I would have more control of pace that way. It was better, but didn't take long for my legs to be like...Why? Why are you doing this to me? I just need to work on it...*grin* He really likes me on top, but I'm really lazy. *grin* Whatever the case may be, I figured he couldn't resist and I was right.

I was quite productive yesterday. Got shopping done Monday night, I HATE shopping with the child, and Monday night is why. Decided that I should organize. My closet is so beautiful now. Went through the boy's books. Anyone want some toddler books? He doesn't care about Winnie the Pooh and all that baby stuff anymore. Although he sure didn't want to part with the damn Blue's Clues books. Did dishes too. My house isn't super clean, but it's getting there. :)

Great, I've just been informed that since Saturday is my last day of the week, my overtime won't hit this paycheck. It will hit next paycheck. No extra money for birthday, no extra money for playing. Not that Derek deserves it. He's being a little demon. Telling us what he is gonna do and not gonna do. The other day he kicked me. Not enough to hurt, but I thought we were over that. :( So, now it's gonna be back to time outs for piddly little things, just so he knows I am totally serious. Hopefully his attitude will be in shape for Jake. Not that he'll come back that way.

I am so ready for a day off. When they called me Saturday to come in Sunday, they’d wanted me to stay from 12:00 to 8:00. By the time I called back, they said 4 -8. I agreed, and then realized the bus stops running at 7 on Sundays. I called back and said I would come in 3 to 7, if they wanted, instead. Got off the phone and started crying. I’ve just had enough and I’m tired. Plus, the not shopping thing worried me. It’s all fixable, but I was just hopeless at that point. Ben listened to me blubber on, like the good boyfriend he is, and then we figured it out. He made me realize that we could just head to Safeway and get a little, enough to get us by. Not good for cash flow, but we have to eat, so fuck it. I’m just glad that I don’t have to be here tomorrow. No posts tomorrow. Like you are all so worried about that, huh? ;P

My horoscope says.. Mercury and Saturn have been raising issues that seem familiar. Fortunately, you're older, wiser, and have gained experience since last time. Moreover, now you know what will work for you and what won't. HAHAHAHA! Of course I know what works for me and what doesn't, at least sexually *wink*

If only... It's ok Desiree, you have tomorrow off, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. I don't know how people do it. I fell up the stairs today. My shoe caught and I went down....huh huh..at least my body was on automatic co-pilot and my hand reached out and stopped me. Thank god. Good news is, I get the overtime. Bad news is, if I call in or am late, I whittle it down. My brain is such mush that I feel stoned. Seriously, just stupid stoned. I prolly have that glazed look about me. It's great. Let's hope they don't ask me to do anything that requires real thinking.

I was thinking about how some of my friends didn't get to read the older posts. I thought they might find these funny, especially Ariel, since she had a place in them. Sorry if you guys have actually read all the back posts. Oh Yeah Can't seem to say what I'm doing here When Jenn and Ariel came over

I'm having a damn good day. Ariel, don't read this.... Since I have been so tired and whiny, the boy has not tried to wake me up for anything, even though he's been there every night. I was getting all worried, so I went home last night and wandered around naked... And it worked, TWICE! Hurray! I'm all sorts of happy.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity : 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting...

Or the yellow tags. There are yellow precount tags on everything. It's like land of the yellow tags around here. Some alternate reality where there are yellow tags everywhere. In my addled brain, this is really funny, but I'm exhausted so what do I know?

I'm whiny today. I have another child tonight, and Derek is super excited. I'm glad for him. I'm not whiny about the other child, just about the grocery shopping. It will be nice to have him occupied and he thinks this kid is his best friend. The kid might think differently, I'm sure he has his own best friend, closer to his age. I'm wondering though, how shopping is gonna go. I was gonna try to go tonight, since we are walking, but I can imagine two whiny kids, pissed off about walking the mile to and from the store. Lugging groceries back on the way home. Not that I make him carry much, sometimes bread. I just haven't taken Derek shopping in awhile, I hope it isn't awful. Wish me luck!

I used to have two roommates, a baby, and a boyfriend who I lived with and who all drove me up the wall crazy. Ok, not the baby, I love babies! I had one roommate when Derek was born, plus the boyfriend. He never cleaned, was always in the house, smoked in the house, until we kicked him out. We moved into his apartment, then kicked him out, you gotta love the irony. We moved in Heather and Paul in December of '97. Derek was a month old. We'd been hanging out since August and we all really liked each other. We thought it would be perfect. It was.....for about 4 months. Having someone there to talk to at any time was exceptionally nice. Having someone who was capable too babysit was wonderful. We had much fun times and would often have people over. I don't know why we had people over, because at one point or another, all of the household would be outside smoking and all the guests would be inside. It was like we needed to be together or something. Then their cats starting hav...

Ariel, we led you wrong. I'm sorry, but "Teenage Wasteland" is by the Who and not Bad Company. If you didn't already figure that out. Also, that other song that I think you asked me about is Anna Nalick - Titled "Breathe (2 am)". Unless you didn't ask....then someone else did and I'm helping no one.

And Jessica Rabbit said let there be nakedness and there was much rejoicing and nakedness and even some not so nakedness .

Complete madness. Inventory weekend is here. I'm here tonight until 9. Here tomorrow from 9:30 until 6:15. Good news is I was expecting to be here until 8 tomorrow, but realized I don't need to be. Also, I get a ride to work and home! YAY!! The talker is at it again. She says "we" all the time, like we are a couple. And old co-worker of mine is working this weekend to help with inventory. I love her, she totally rocks cause she's kissed girls and is so much more in tune with me than these older people I work with. She used to do Tara's job, so they are pretty tight, as she trained her. Tara was giving me crap about her being possesive when I was talking about lunching with them. The talker butts her nose in and starts talking about "us" having lunch. And how "we" would like to have lunch with them. Then later, she is all like.....well, I don't think she wants "us" sitting with them for lunch. It's too bad, I really like La...

You Are Opium! You like to have fun and enjoy life. Reeeeeally enjoy life. If it isn't fast, loud, or extreme forget it. You value friendship and are loyal and will not hesiste to go off if someone crosses you. What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?

It's freaking COLD here. Both my nipples are hard. I guess the Air Conditioning must have gotten fixed. The kid has been saying this....."I'm Speechless!" If he was, wouldn't I not be able to hear him? Also, Karina, I am so glad that I am not the only one in this friendship who's had to back outta doing something. Please do NOT feel bad. I was kinda tired anyways, but determined as hell not to back out. And the last thing...I don't know when or how, but I want to have some sort of get together before Derek leaves for Portland. I know I've mentioned it a bit, but I think I would like to have a bunch of friends, maybe at the park, and then my house for pizzas and drinks? Just a thought, you don't have to drink, but it would be fun. I am specifically talking to you, Jenn, and you, Karina. Come'on, a chance to meet IRL! You know you want too. I'll let you know when I can figure this all out. I only get paid the week before he leaves and I don...

I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack I hope you never lose your sense of wonder You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger May you never take one single breath for granted God forbid love ever leave you empty handed I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance Hope you dance I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance Never settle for the path of least resistance Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin' Lovin'might be a mistake but it's worth makin' Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter When you come close to sellin'out, reconsider Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along Tell me who wants to look ba...

I never really got heartburn until I was pregnant, so I'm blaming it on the boy. The Cheetos I am gonna eat aren't gonna help, but my carrots are frozen and I'm not eating frozen carrots. EWW! Damn the fridge here. The boy has been quite a little demon the past couple days. The other night, I told him it was time to get ready for bed, and he looks at me, and he goes....I GO TO BED AT 10! I said, right, so you need to start getting ready now. I get ready at 10 ! I said, fine, go to your room without getting ready for bed! He said, I'm gonna PLAY! I took away some video game time and then he grudgingly gets up and heads for the bathroom. I went into the bedroom and said to Ben..please help him brush his teeth, so I don't hit him. Now before anyone gets all freaked out, I was being dramatic and I've only ever swatted the child. More to get his attention when he was younger, now we don't even have to do that. But that's been my life since he got out of schoo...

Also, there is a $500 Dell here mocking me. It was a demo model and originally $1500. With a flat screen. My account will only go to $400.00, never mind eating or paying bills. I want it SO BAD! Why, oh why must I pay rent? If I didn't have to pay rent, I could buy a computer. Of course, then me and my computer would be on the street.

Heartburn is killing me. Why, why must my heart burn so....sorry to talk like the heroine in all those romance novels that I love, but it came out. I don't know if it's the coffee this morning, though I would believe it, or if it's the fact that I have been seriously behind on my water consumage and am now trying to catch up? For some reason, when I started my water crusade, I would get heartburn everyday, but it finally went away. Apparently, this is the price I pay for trying to get back on track. *pout*

Made you look, huh? Not really, I am just ripping off the Dooce again. I have such the internet crush on her. I want her to be my wife. =} Oh, and I would totally be going along too, somehow. *grin*

So, it just hit my sign on my Cancer Calendar and it has this neat little page describing my sign. I like it, and I am totally keeping it. But I thought I would share it (I just accidentally wrote tit - teehee) with you all. Cancer (June 21, 2005 - July 22, 2005) Cancer (the crab) is the fourth sign of the zodiac and governs all forms of home, family ( no wonder I am the baby freak ), and property matters. It is ruled by the moon, and it's element is water, demonstrated through the Cancer's emotional and sensitive nature. It's quality is cardinal, which signifies those who initiate actions; in the yearly cycle, it indicates the start of a season. When the sun enters Cancer, it is the summer solstice and the beginning of summer. As the sun moves through Cancer, the following energies predominate, affecting the way people relate to one another: Notable positive qualities associated with Cancer: Loving, protective, compassionate Family oriented Caregiving, nuturing Shr...

I guess this coming year will have less introspection, but I don't see how I am just gonna stop taking apart everything I do, and analyzing it. That's what I do, it's why I am an accountant. Since I like analyzing so much, maybe I woulda been better off as a phsyciatrist. I'd make more money. Horoscope for today Hooray! The Sun enters your sign, kicking off your solar year. This means you'll be doing a lot less introspection and a lot more of living your life and hitting the pitches as they're thrown. They're wouldn't be much here without my introspection....

Bucky's Ghost post today freaked me the hell out. I don't know how people deal with it. I feel like someone is watching me all the time, but I just figure that isn't real, right? God, I really hope so, I don't want people watching me.

Scary Weather freaks me out. What the FUCK is up with the weather recently? I am all for a nice rain, even a pounding rain, if I am inside. But I do NOT like thunder and lightning. My tree looks wobbly on it's best day and all I need is for something to knock it down. Ben tried to get me to realize it would strike the closest thing, and therefore, not my dinky little tree, but there are taller trees all around and they could fall on my house just as easily. Also, I didn't like the way the lights starting flickering. I have been known to be extreme and therefore my little brain jumps to..oh my god, the food's gonna go bad. Or oh my god, I'll never get to watch TV again. So, I sat in my house and tried not to outwardly cringe everytime I heard the loud thunder. Hopefully the boy doesn't think I am a complete freak. It's been nice having him around. It will make it that much creepier when he is gone though. Cause I will be home alone and that ALWAYS creeps me out a...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her ...

Quick update. Had a great weekend, Tammi, you rock, even if you were drunk. IT WAS CUTE! I love not being the only drunk person. Others have far more restraint than me, I guess. There was much talk about my franken-toe, and tuna cooch. Ariel, I'll have you know after our talk, I had a long wierd dream about Paul. I know it was brought on by the diabetes reference. Dammit Woman....no seriously, thank you, I don't think I'd even thought of that. It just didn't occur to me and now I can't stop thinking about it. Derek leaves in 17 days, not that I'm counting....I need to do something fun with him before that. Maybe Madagascar, maybe a park visit. If the weather would stop being crazy. Any ideas, and anyone want to tag along? Derek would love to see people before he leaves, I am sure.

I don't have much today people. I'm leaving soon and god forbid I go a day without posting when I can. I realized after looking at PostSecret that there are many more things that I don't share, even here, where I can supposedly be free. I have many secrets I could send in. And the main reason I don't tell anyone? I am afraid they will realize how screwed up I can be, or maybe they will think I am a whiner. Cause I keep going on and on about something. Somethings I can't keep from spinning around and around in my brain. But I don't want to be "that person"...the person who's life is always harder than yours. Or the person who is never happy. or the person who just bitches all the time and won't or can't shut up about things that happened to them. Maybe I come across as that whiny bitch anyways? I just wish somedays that I could say EVERYTHING, and just be done with it. Maybe I am more afraid that even by talking about it, I will never be don...

Actually, it brings them here. 16 searches brought people here. Fuck the Bank Holding out for a hero Angel devil shoulder tattoo Don’t mess (phunk) with my heart - 3 Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got Wild Horses by the Sundays Guardian Angel Tattoo To my boyfriend Don’t fuck with my heart Ipod Commerical – Windmill Song Jessica Rabbit Porn Thoughts to my firstborn Neurotic Squirrel Foamy These Dreams go on when I close my eyes. 9 of these searches were for music. The Tattoo ones were prolly a hit from the Pink song, so maybe that counts. And now I too am getting searched for Jessica Rabbit porn, you’re not alone honey. It’s really no wonder with how much I typed PORN for awhile there. And Ariel, someone else calls it the windmill song..:) Most of your were prolly looking for downloads, sorry to waste your time. Speaking of the Black Eyed Peas, what’s up with the Enquirer titling a story…Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas….they are just feeding the Fergie hate…lik...

Sin Wagon by Dixie Chicks He pushed me 'round now I'm drawin' the line He lived his life now I'm gonna go live mine I'm sick of wastin' my time Well now I've been good for way too long Found my red dress and I'm gonna throw it on 'Bout to get too far gone Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition Need a little but more of my twelve ounce nutrition One more helpin' of what I've been havin' I'm takin' my turn on the sin wagon On a mission to make something happen Feel like Delilah lookin' for Samson Do a little mattress dancin' That's right I said mattress dancin' Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition Need a little bit more of what I've been missin' I don't know where I'll be crashin' But I'm arrivin' on a sin wagon When it's my turn to march up to glory I'm gonna have one hell of a story That's if he forgives me oh Lord, please forgive me Praise the Lord and pass the ammunitio...

It's Derek's last day of 1st grade. Unbelievable! The crossing guard teacher who helps the kids cross 5th street talked to me almost everyday this year. She is very nice and super sweet to the kids. This morning we ran into her leaving the school (we were a bit early) and she was like....(very loudly)..DEREK, this is it and then you'll be a second grader. It's crazy. A second grader? Already? Wasn't he just a baby? He got this look on his face and it was a mix of beaming and kinda embarassment. Like...why is she making such a big fuss about it, I'm only one of the kids. He is SO my kid. That is exactly how I feel when people make a big deal outta something I've done. Then he went on about how he will be right across from the music classroom and they have a chess board in second grade. He is gonna practice and beat Ben, or so he says. Then he was telling me about a game of chess they played where Derek captured Ben's queen. Did I mention how fucking aweso...

I got a papercut and a hang nail on one hand. On the left side. WTF! Everything happens to my left side. It's punishing me for only having tattoos on the right side. Also the nipple piercing is in the right breast. That side is out to get me. I need to dress it up, I guess =} At least I was able to get away without bandaging my toe today. I am just letting it free and hoping my sock doesn't catch on it. Last night Derek touched it and said, oh it's still there. Well of course it's still there, it's not even been a week.

Then go here now! or here I tried very hard not to laugh out loud.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the glue bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word lisp?

Ben taught Derek Magic. Not magic tricks, but the card game Magic. I had to try so hard not to say that he just set that boy up for beatings in high school. Yes, I'm kind of a snob sometimes. Derek loves it too. They played for hours yesterday. Also, I thought I would let y'all know that recently I realized I can read upside down. Well I always knew I could, but I didn't realize I can do it so well, when some people can't. Can you tell I was a nosy child? Or that I always went to the back of the Encyclopedia Brown books and read the solution?

Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep I’m barely hanging on Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything, opened up and let you in You made me feel alright, for once in my life Now all that’s left of me is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside Cause I can’t breathe, no I can’t sleep I’m barely hanging on Here I am, once again I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Swallow me, then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you, it kills me now No...

I could give ten shits less, but here is something for the Star Wars people .

I've been having these urges to just flip people off randomly. I know you all know about it, but it's gotten worse. The other day, one of the childrens at the grad party stuck their head in the door and said something and my first instinct was to flip them off! I managed to quell the instinct, thank god! Derek came around the corner last night and said something when he was supposed to be getting in the bath and again, I almost whipped out the finger. I don't think he would take it the right way. =} He's taken to reading everything. Which means when I am trying to talk to him about something, usually something he's done that was bad, he gets the far off look in his eyes and focuses on my shirt or something that he can read. I can see him trying to read it without moving his lips and then when I called him on it last night, he just changed the subject. ARGH! So, I asked him why he wanted to drive me crazy, and he goes, I'm not driving you crazy. I said, I think I...

Just wow ! I'm putting a link up on the side. This is cool and sad at the same time. I might do it. Not sure yet.

POOP!

I'm looking terribly cute today, even without any makeup. Hair down and freshly washed, cute work pants, and my lovely black tank top, with a khaki colored shirt over it. Someone already commented on it, so I had to mention I look and feel pretty damn good today, beyond the pulled hamstring and trying not to run the blister on these unforgiving boots. I love this tank top. It's got a line right across the breast area and makes them look bigger, I think. So I got that going for me. =}

I pulled the hamstring in the same leg yesterday. Not feeling extremely bright around here people. I twinged my back last night, but it feels fine today. Also, I'm leaving early Friday, like 2:45 early. YAY! This whole week has been strange. Derek only has tomorrow left of first grade, so it's felt like Thursday all day. I even woke up this morning wondering if we'd taken the trash out. Then I realized, it's only Wednesday.

I bow down to your awesomeness. You truly are a Knight of the Round Table, ready to defend yourself against the Knights of Ni, use the Holy Grenade of Antioch, and RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! from the horrible monster of ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHH!! Or perhaps a barber who truly desires to be a singing lumberjack. Or better yet, you are Brian, fighting off the misguided crowds and wondering what on earth you did wrong to wind up singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" while hanging on the cross. Well whoever you choose all I have to say is Go you!!! How big of a Monty Python fan are you? brought to you by Quizilla

I had to tell you all how I managed to bruise the same leg with the flesh eating disease. I've never seen a blister so big, or long. I am special *grin* I was standing in T's kitchen, heating up some hotdogs for childrens, when I heard, thump, thump, thump. I'm thinking, well, that's gotta be my kids head, seeing the luck I'm having today. I go to the stairs, and ALL the childrens are gathered at the top of the stairs, looking down in fascination.... At the snowglobe that is now heading right for me. I think, maybe I can stop it. I put out my leg to halt the damn thing and it hits me right in the shin and then bounces off and shatters all over the floor. I guess I should be glad the sandals weren't being worn at that point, or I would have more bandages on my foot. I'm such a pity whore too, all night I was like...look at my foot, and look at my leg. I have a bruise *pout* I'm not limping while trying not to touch the sore to the top of my shoe today, th...

I am so oblivious sometimes. I tried to go to a birthday party on Saturday, and I managed to not even find the place. I got the cutest sandals on Friday, and I wore them on Saturday. I got off the bus on 40th and Main, looking for the place. I DID not see it, believe it or not. Apparently, I was right there, but managed to not see it. I walked up to 50th looking for the place, in my pretty new sandals, and they left an ugly blister on my big toe. I look like I have a flesh eating disease. I didn’t even notice until about 50th when I looked down and realized I'd gotten a blister and rubbed it right off. My new shoes have my blood all over them now. YAY! They are damn pretty too, it's not fair. I'm walking around like a gimp. :( I tried to get to the party, but I gave up after getting the blister. I knew I needed to get home and change shoes. I'm sorry that I suck Karina. I said I would be there and then didn't make it. Well, kinda made it.

I got to talk with the boss again. I guess I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought. She asked if there was anything she could do. How to tell her that everyone at this bookstore makes laughable money and I don’t feel like giving my all? Instead we both chalked it up to me being bored. She’s kinda right, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m supposed to think about something else I would like to learn. She said something about really wanting me to stay because then when all of them leave, I will be the logical person to be the boss. Anyone who knows me, would know I almost cringed at the suggestion. Being here when she is gone? Being the boss? I am too like her. I wait and wait and avoid the confrontation until I can’t. Then I usually blow up because it’s way too far outta hand. I’m seriously considering seeing if I could do daycare or something. At least I can boss kids around. And I would be at home. That’s what I really want, is to be at home. Still feel like crying and about an hour ago, I t...

1. Since you been gone 2. Lonely no more 3. Lumidee – Uh Oh, Video remix. 4. Yeah and Freek a leek remix together. 5. Powerless 6. Switch 7. Don’t Phunk with my Heart 8. Stuck 9. Mr. Brightside. 10. Milkshake. 11. Sin Wagon 12. Feel Good Inc. 13. Moving in Stereo 14. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road 15. Black Velvet 16. Giving him something he can feel 17. For once in my life. 18. Buffalo Stance 19. Into the Night 20. Somewhere beyond the Sea 21. repeat of above. This is my CD, the man was confused cause there was a Somewhere that said Frank Sinatra and the correct Bobby Darin one. He didn’t realize until the put them both on. That’s cool, though. I am DIGGING Sin Wagon. If I can actually still put my song of the day up without getting fired Monday, I might put that one up.

Got up the next day, his due date, and went to my doctor’s appt. I was like…hm, I think my water broke last night. They checked and said, yes, it did. It really just kinda tore, not broke. They said, ok, we are admitting you. I said, all right. Oh by the way, I’ve been having this weird pain in my stomach every so often. She felt my stomach and it did it again. She was like, yeah, that’s a contraction. A very minor contraction, which she didn’t tell me, instead, I start thinking…that was a contraction? This should be easy. I know, I shoulda been smacked. They get me into my room, and put all sorts of shit on me. Antibiotics in the hand, since my water had really tore the night before, monitor on my stomach. I get all excited and start calling people like crazy. First work, not coming in, I’m having a baby! Then friends, guess what, I’m having the baby. Friends start showing up. Ben, Jesse, Heather, Heather, Heather, and Paul. Jake later, since the evil that is Taco Bell wouldn’t let hi...

Well, I guess I will be quite the copier here and do my own pregnancy story. For those who have heard this, QUIT READING. I started hanging out with Jake right around Christmas of 1996. We prolly started sleeping together shortly after. After Ericka moved out, at least. But on her bed, cause she was a mean crazy bitch. We officially decided we would be a couple right before Valentine’s Day. The night before to be exact. He was “allergic” to condoms (found out later this wasn’t true, and maybe I am naïve and I think he believed it) and I figured we had gone out before and nothing had happened, so maybe I wasn’t meant to have kids. Yeah, I know it was stupid, teenage girls do stupid things. I was late by the 12th of March. I was NEVER late then. I suspected, but could quite believe it. I went in to get birth control and informed them I was late. They were going to just give me the pill and not do a pregnancy test, so that I could start them immediately. I told them I would feel better if...

Gotten all prettied up with the makeup and earrings, and even great hair and not had anyone notice that you look different? Usually I get something from someone, like, you look different today, or fucking something. What's the fucking point?

That when I get really hungry, I feel terribly sick. I would like to throw up. So I got that going for me.

All right, my happy fucking friday has gone RAPIDLY downhill. I was amused by two kids this morning who stopped and talked to the lady who watches over the crossing guard kids. She asked them their names, cause she had been talking to them all year, but didn't know their names. Their names were Derek and Jake. Now, that's funny and strange. So, I was amused. Then I came in and the boss told me to go help Tara, BONUS, cause now I can fucking hide from everyone and less that could ruin my happy day. Yeah, right. It was crazy and I helped and I thought maybe I would get outta the coverage for other things, but instead, I just get to do them anyways, just later. Being the martyr that I am, I didn't ask for help, even though I coulda used a break and a snack, feeling a little shaky. Everytime I try to type this out, I have to get up and help someone. And I really need to pee, but there is no one here to let me pee. I just want to cry, but I can't, cause I decided to be all p...

My wonderful boyfriend made me a CD yesterday. I LOVE it, and he rocks. I even labeled it something along the lines of Rock music from Ben who is nice even though he hates my music. He thought that was funny. :) Buffalo Stance by Neneh Cherry Who’s that gigolo on the street With his hands in his pockets and his crocadile feet Hanging off the curb, looking all disturbed At the boys from home. They all came running They were making noise, manhandling toys That’s the girls on the block with the nasty curls Wearing padded bras sucking beers through straws Dropping down their drawers, where did you get yours? Gigolo, Huh, sukka? Gigolo. Gigolo, Huh, sukka? Who’s looking good today? Who’s looking good in every way? No style rookie You better watch don’t mess with me No moneyman can win my love It’s sweetness that I’m thinking of. We always hang in a Buffalo Stance We do the dive every time we dance I’ll give you love baby not romance I’ll make a move nothing left to chance So don’t you get ...

I think that's the lyric, my trusty letssingit.com is down. Fantastic Voyage is a GOOD song. I got steak for dinner last night. Sorry that you girls didn't get any at the impromptu barbecue, but I'm glad you suggested it Ariel. It's been awhile since I had steak. And baked potatoes, and beans. I didn't have any of the beans though. Instead, I took out my half pound of mushrooms and sauteed them. I poured them over the steak and it was so good. I LOVE mushrooms. No one else in my house does. More for me, then. It came out really good, even though everything must be blackened for the man. If you ever gave him a bloody steak, he would prolly think you were trying to kill him. He tried your plate trick, Ariel and said it worked good. Around about this time, I said something to the child. He looks at me and goes..."You're unbelievable!" He's just a little tyrant sometimes. It was so unexpected that I am still kinding smiling to think about it, but on th...

Have you ever seen a piano getting tuned? I was in the high school auditorium once and there was a man tuning the piano. He’d barely tap a note, then he’d listen. Tap a note. Listen. Tap a note. Carefully. Gently. You could hear that piano loosen up just as nice. And that’s the way it was with Darren. From "Please, Please, Please" by Renee Swindle. This was a good book, time to start a new one.

Both the boy got haircuts. And they both have new shoes. It feels good to know they are taken care off. They both look snazzy, even my little wierdo who HAS to have his hair spiked. It looks crazy, but I think it is a huge trend at school right now. This morning I noticed some boys high-fiving him on his way to breakfast and they had spiky heads too. Spiky heads everywhere, apparently. Now if I could just find some decent super cheap sandles. Don't know, might be outta money already. It sure goes fast. I tried and tried to find something cheap to gift my favorite grads, but I am poor as hell and nothing is cheap. :( I am a sad panda.

Yeah. That's prolly wrong, up there. I don't know French, but I do know a Soul Coughing song and so this is a lyric from that. I was riding home last night, trying not to breath in the nasty drunk smells emanating from someone. Most likely, it was the 40 year old tweeker sitting a few rows ahead of me. She had that glazed look and kept dropping her chocolates on the ground. She was wearing a VERY short skirt, and she felt the need to sit on the elevated seats that face the aisle. I don't know why either, it's not the smartest choice. So, like the fifth time she drops the chocolates, she shifts to grab them and I notice the semi-cute college boy seated kinda across from her (he was a seat further back) look like he is about to toss his cookies. I see him whisper something to the gorgeous females beside him. I have no idea what it was, but I can kinda guess. I just hope she was wearing panties, cause I am pretty sure that college boy got a real good look right up her skir...

BLOODY MURDER

Ben's sister is plea bargaining, for you people who know her. She was thinking it was going to be 21 years, 3 offenses of 7 years each. Apparently, you can serve sentences concurrently. I don't know why. That seems a little strange to me, but it could mean that she will be out in 7 years, instead of 21. I really like her, I hope this straightens her up. She is terribly cool and the only one of Ben's family who I can relate to, seeing as how she is close to my age. He went with his mom to the sentencing today. He wasn't sure how it was supposed to help, but that's what children do. I hope it all went well. EDIT: Apparently, this is really happening tomorrow. All parties involved, including her lawyer thought it was today. Nope, tomorrow. That means poor Ben will have to get up at 8 again. Yeah, not really. I get up before 8 all the time, I have no sympathy.

Not really, sorry. But that got your attention right? *grin* The book is here, and I can't afford to charge it. Why does it have to taunt me?

Rank Name Score 1 Jay--nightmare 100 2 That Girl 100 3 ariel 90 4 Jake 80 5 Desiree 80 6 Jesse 80 7 joliann 80 8 Karina Black 70 9 Coffee 70 10 Tammi 70 11 tara 60 12 Anon 50 13 Jenn Hill 40 14 song 40 Just for the record, I am pretty sure Jay cheated. I think he took it as Jake and then took it as Jay. Maybe not, why would he want to know so much about me if he thinks I am disgusting, though? Someone has too much time on their hands. Really. Also, I love that someone has my name, or at least thought they should use my name. Tried to send out thank you's and my thoughts to the addresses listed, but one has already came back undeliverable, so I'm not holding out any hope. Thank you all, you're very smart. Besides Jay, who is just a mean little troll.

I'm on a BIG soundtrack kick. I'm saving a song from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack for tomorrow for the "flashback". This morning it was between the new Rob Thomas song or Alicia Keyes, when I found myself humming this song, I went with it. Karma by Alicia Keyes Weren't you the one who said that you don't want me anymore, And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door? And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me. But still you said that love was gone and that I had to leave. (Now you) {Talkin' 'bout a family.} (Now you) {Sayin' I complete your dream.} (Now you) {Sayin' I'm your everything.} {You're confusing me, what you say to me.} Don't play with me, don't play with me. 'Cause (What goes around comes around; What goes up must come down.) Now who's cryin,' desirin' to come back to me? (What goes around comes around; What goes up must come down.) Now who's cryin,' desirin...

MTV used this word last night and I about fell off the bed. I thought it was only a Jessica Rabbit word. Sorry, honey, MTV stole it from you.

I don’t have any damn funny stories to regal you all with. I’ve been keeping my head down and not paying much attention to other people, otherwise I would spin you some wonderful story. Instead, I shall draw from the past, I still have tons of those stories. This blog, is like a new friend, who hasn’t heard all my shit. It’s beautiful. I think I will go into how I met my current boyfriend. It was in high school, actually. I skipped a LOT of classes and hit the computer lab, the big thing back then was talkers. Which I guess are kinda like chat rooms, except people pretended to be other people. My favorite was the “Burbs”. I talked with this guy, “Confucius” who was terribly amusing and nice. A lot of people did this, so many, that the school had to start checking and making sure people weren’t spending their whole day in the computer lab. Well, one day I needed the screen and this guy would not give me the chair to sit in. I was like…”fine, I’ll just not sit down and type this quickly....

read this. During "Starfish and Coffee" not only does he break into "Staying Alive", but he also says this before he starts really singing the song. If people aren’t getting’ it, if people are a little slow and they need the Suzuki method, or some sort of aid, teaching assistant, don’t be afraid to just reach over, bite their nipple and tell them lyrics into their ear, as they open their sexy shockers. This will be our last song, as we’ll die for sure after this. I think Nipple was the word I paid the most attention to, until I started really hearing the rest. I think I am trying to use this Suzuki method on you guys, I want you to listen, but I can't bite your nipples....that hurts sometimes anyways. *grin*

OK, it was a pain in the ass to write out and prolly a pain in the ass to read, but this shit is funnier. I think I like it so much cause it's like stand-up with music that I like. How can you go wrong? So, read it, dammit! This is a song about bicycles and sometimes how you have a favorite bicycle. And you ride it and you love it, and you think this is the best bicycle, I could possibly win a charity race with this bicycle. This particular bicycle, this bicycle is everything I’ve ever wanted in a bike. And later the bicycle starts to act up, something’s wrong, you’re not sure what. Is it the brakes, maybe the gears are stripped? What’s wrong? You try and fix it, you try talking to the bike….Bike, what’s the matter? Sweet 10-speed, why don’t we win anymore? What’s the deal? What’s gotten in the way of this? The bike doesn’t respond, the bike just pretends everything’s peachy. Then one day, you’re riding your bike, front wheel comes off, face-plant, digger, broken nose, bloody lip, ...

New Drug: FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. I really need some of that, then I would stop flipping people off. *grin*

CONGRATULATIONS! To Tammi and Ariel. They are graduating on Saturday. They are so smart! I love you guys. *smooch*

I'm about to HIT 3,000! I ROCK!

Much better. I got 117. Above average, like usual. Better than the other one, and I'm much happier about this.

Rose Tint My World Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack Columbia: It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan, But it was over when he had the plan, To start a-working on a muscle man Now the only thing that gives me hope, Is my love of a certain dope, Rose tints my world, Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain Rocky: I am just seven hours old, Truly beautiful, to behold, But somebody should be told, My libido hasn't been controlled Now the only thing I've come to trust, Is am orgasmic rush of lust, Rose tints my world, Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain Brad: It's beyond me, Help me mommy, I'll be good, you'll see, Take this dream awa-a-a-a-ay! What's this...let's see, Aah-I feel sexy, What's come over me? Woooh here it comes again! Janet: Oh wa-ah oh, oh, I feel released, Bad times de-eceased, My confidence has increased, Reality is her-er-ere The game had been disbanded, My mind has been expa-anded, It's a gas that Frankie'...

I didn't even tell you guys how much J sucks! Some of you already know, but he was all gung-ho about a barbecue and bringing us alcohol up to the day and then he calls (after I finished cleaning the hell outta the kitchen) and says....oh, my mom's going outta town tomorrow and she wants me to stay home. What a MOMMA's Boy! (not that his mom isn't the coolest mom, but we aren't entirely sure he was telling the truth. Ben thinks he would lie about it, if he didn't feel like coming over) Like I have any right to say crap, I kinda hope Derek is a momma's boy. I want him to still like me when he grows up. That's my goal /tangent. Then he says, so, do you guys think I suck? I was kinda relieved and said no. I didn't really want to deal with him anyways. He is SO totally lame though, cause then he said he would come over the next day and never called.

I KNOW funnest isn't a word. I'm making it one, so there. *grin* Let me tell you, DRUNK shopping is the funnest thing ever. We dropped chicken on the ground and I was like....DAMMIT, that's expensive chicken, pick it up, it's only been 4 seconds. Yeah, that's bad, but she agreed and then said she was so happy that she was hanging out with someone exactly like her *beam*. She ordered me to eat up more of the chicken after buying me a $55 lunch. She is so fucking awesome. I also got a little more outta her than I usually do. She was worried that she comes across mean, cause someone said she was "tough". What I wouldn't give to be "tough", and I said as much. She took it to mean that she is a mean bitch who no one has any fun with. I was like, no, it means that you don't take any shit from people. It doesn't mean you aren't fun. I hope it really got across to her.

How too feel? Ben has to go and do something tonight. He will be gone until 11:00 most likely. I'll get 3 hours to myself. Of course, only really 2, once the kid is in bed. More than likely fold laundry and catch up on my soaps. Doesn't that sound like fun? On the plus side, he will be spending the night.

She went away and didn't post anything and it was awful, so awful. Funny enough, the other night I was watching Family Guy and Stewie said, "What the Duece?" I know he didn't mean the dooce, but I looked up anyways. Actually, Ben looked at me too, because I talk about the Dooce all the time. But this was precious. I wish I'd thought to do something like that when Derek was little. And since it was so precious, I forgive the Dooce for having to go away to a wedding.

Nothing, those fuckers! They didn't have either of the CDs I wanted. I only needed one or the other, so why the hell wasn't one of them their. Of course they had the new Black Eyed Peas. DAMMIT! I still don't have the money for it, but I did touch the glass reverentially(sp?). Anyone know of a better place to find such CDs? They aren't exactly new releases.

THAT I HATE MEETINGS? They are so damn stupid, all that is different now is that he had 4 people telling him how to do it, instead of just me, who he thinks is stupid. I still don't think he quite got it. And he treats me like I am stupid. The sad thing is he isn't the only person who has such a hard time doing returns. How hard is it? You enter the information, send a copy with the product to the warehouse, and then let them know how you are shipping it. Don't give me a copy without the shipping information. Don't enter the item and then not send it anywhere, and instead sell the fucking product. I, myself, can not understand why it's so fucking hard for them. Or why we have to have endless fucking meetings about it.

I HAVE to find the perfect Father's Day present. I am using my lunch hour to hit record exchange. Thinking about Paul Simon - Graceland or Black Sabbath with Dio - Heaven and Hell I don't know yet, and I've been informed I must go now. Damn the meetings. Wish me luck and hope that I can avoid buying the new Black Eyed Peas album, I can't afford that.

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I took the stupid IQ test. Can you tell I don't like the results? I was Average to begin with. Exceptional on vocab and math (there's a surprise), but below average in general knowledge. Yeah, my ALTERNATIVE high school didn't care much about History, thank god. Never been good at that. I'm not posting my results, I don't need to feel so dumb.

I would like to know how they knew how much chocolate I would like to eat in a week. I think they are watching me...*grin* It DID work though. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read.. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold) 3. Add 5. (for Sunday) 4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator................. 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755 If you haven't, add 1754 ....... 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number .. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are ......... YOUR A...

I had no idea the NIN song on the below soundtrack is Joy Division originally. I don't even think I've ever heard Joy Division. Crap, now I have to find some so I know what it sounds like. I can't afford to like new artists....*grin* Also, I think (it could be the un-bloating thing) that my pants are a little looser than normal today. Prolly just wishful thinking.

Listening to the Crow Soundtrack, if you couldn't tell. This one is appropriate given the weather. It's also the only other song I give a crap about. It was my first CD ever, and I think it was a dollar, so it was worth it for two songs. It Can't Rain All The Time - I don't know why it's called this, the lyrics say won't and not can't. By Jane Siberry [SPOKEN:] We walked the narrow path, beneath the smoking skies. Sometimes you can barely tell the difference between darkness and light. Do you have faith in what we believe? The truest test is when we cannot, when we cannot see. [SUNG:] I hear pounding feet in the, in the streets below, and the, and the women crying and the, and the children know that there, that there's something wrong, and it's hard to belive that love will prevail. Oh it won't rain all the time. The sky won't fall forever. And though the night seems long, your tears won't fall forever. Oh, when I'm lonely, I lie aw...

C'mon people, take my quiz! I took quizzes and now you have to take mine. Talking to you, that girl. I mean it! *grin* Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

I know it says I am quiet, and none of you believe that. I am quiet, if I don't know you, and Jesse used to think I was stuck up because of this. You are a water girl. You are flexible and very nice. You are quiet so people who don't know you thnk you are weird or just mean and high and mighty like. You aren't though. You like to have a good time and you also just like to relax and just enjoy the stars. Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only brought to you by Quizilla

I've been looking for this special book that someone recommended to me, hint, hint. I can't find it, at least I don't think so, unless it is about South American essays. So, help me out here Ariel, who wrote this wonderful book? I looked at Amazon and all they have is the Little Mermaid stuff, go figure.

Got this in an e-mail. I personally like number 5 the best. The many meanings of P-M-S: 1. P ass M y S hotgun 2. P sychotic M ood S hift 3. P erpetual M unching S pree 4. P uffy M id- S ection 5. P eople M ake me S ick 6. P rovide M e with S weets 7. P ardon M y S obbing 8. P imples M ay S urface 9. P ass M y S weatpants 10. P issy M ood S yndrome 11. P lainly; M en S uck 12. P ack M y S tuff .......and my favorite one.. 13. P otential M urder S uspect And as an example Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But if they did, by some m...

To clarify, that Non-Avril song was definitely NOT Avril, Ariel. It was Kelly Clarkson, although I couldn't tell you the song name. And Mariah Carey's first album, titled Mariah Carey, came out in 1990. It did not have "Butterfly" on it. Butterfly was more R&B. The first album is more soft rock, IMHO. It includes such songs as "Vision of Love", and "Someday". Both great songs. Again, that's just my opinion.

Dead Souls by Nine Inch Nails Someone take these dreams away That point me to another day A duel of personalities A stranger to reality They keep calling me They keep calling me Keep on calling me They keep calling me When figures from the past stand tall And mocking voices ring the hall Imperialistic house of prayer Conquistadors who took their share They keep calling me Keep on calling me They keep calling me Keep on calling me Calling me, calling me [x2] They keep calling me Keep on calling me They keep calling me Keep on calling me

Can you tell? I have hardly posted at all today. I am so unamused by the pigfucking troll. I don't even feel like I can be myself and be open here, because of some dumb fucker. I know I should just get over it, but it makes me sad that people feel the need to be so mean. If I can't be open about myself, what the hell is the point of this? Maybe I'll feel different Monday, I don't know. Here are some random thoughts to leave you with today. She's heaving sighs already, even though her review was good. ERR! I might trip her. There are days when all I really want is to smoke. But there isn’t anyone to give me a cigarette. Then I think, it’s ok, cause when I go home, I can steal one from the boyfriend. By the time I get home, I’m not even thinking about it. It’s saved me many a cigarette, I’m sure. Last night I did get a “your hair smells good” after he got home and I was freshly showered, I guess that qualifies as a compliment. I don't know anymore, I just feel so ...

This, this is SO DAMN FUNNY. Thank you Ariel, you ARE the BASKETBALL! I so want this sign. Wouldn't go over well, I am sure. What with Jake visiting and Derek being able to read, but I still want the damn sign. I could hide it when he came over. *grin*