Random Thoughts

The other day I realized that I do not give myself NEARLY enough credit. I did something nice by picking up some hard cider for Ben, and I was all excited, like GO ME! I remembered which one and everything. But, I picked the wrong one. There are two, and I can't ever seem to remember which one is the one he likes better. So I was like...awww. But you know what? Once upon a time, I would have totally kicked myself for that for about....two weeks. Seriously. I give myself a whole raft of shit when I disappoint myself. But I've gotten better. Cause I was like...aww, but no big deal. He wasn't upset, so why should I be? This whole line of thought led me to thinking about how only a few months ago, I'd go through these spurts where I was just really down on myself and unnaturally upset over stupid crap. That isn't happening as much anymore. I'm not sure why, it could be all the fantastic sex I've been having and consequently feeling sexier? Maybe it was the birth...

My little sister is 18 years old. I know, not very little anymore. She is very pregnant. She is due in about a month and a half. I had hoped that by seeing what I went through at 17, she would not get pregnant so early. However, no luck. Part of me is like....Give me your baby and I will raise it. Even doing it myself, now I think, damn, 18 is so young. I feel for her really. But I am also immensely proud of her. Cause you see, she did something I should have done years ago. She kicked her own father out of the house. Something neither my mother nor me could seem to do. He is a fucking bastard. I hate him with a purple and pink passion. My mom said that she (my mom) had kicked him out when he said he was in love with another woman. But that he would stay with her, if she let him stay with this woman for half the week. WTF? Who would ever agree to that? I have a sneaking suspicion my mom woulda, if it had come to that. Instead, they went out drinking.....this was bad because they are BO...