Random Thoughts

I'm the dumbest bitch ever. I just keep trying with this place and they just keep piling it on. Derek and I can't BOTH be out of work so I've stalled on checking out other positions. Sure guys, I can be ALL of A/P and since we have 3 goddamn people, I can be ALL of Accounting when one calls in sick and the other is in meetings all the time. Really I'm just grumpy because it's the beginning of the term and Ben is waiting for his blood draw and results and today is not a good d ay.  I wanted to call in. I thought about it momentarily, but figured I should show in case B was still out sick... you know, because then we'd have NO ONE in the department in the office. Good call when your accounting team is so fucking small two people can't be out sick or on vacation at the same time. They'll probably be all "we don't know why she lost her shit and quit" when I finally break. Which just makes me want to laugh maniacally.  Yesterday...

As a 16 year old, I was an idiot. This is not surprising as most 16 year olds think they know a lot more than they do. I was spectacular though, ending up pregnant at 16 because “it couldn’t happen to me”…yeah. I’ll wait while you stop laughing. After confirming what I already knew at the appointment I was at to get on birth control (YES. I KNOW. IRONY), I had some choices to make. I make no secret of the fact that I looked at ALL options. Ultimately, I decided abortion was not the choice (but at least I had the choice to make!) and that adoption could mean that he was raised by monsters. People with fake faces who looked fine to the outside world. So, I figured I could be a mom. Why not. I’d always loved babies and babysitting. (yes, I’ll wait again while you laugh) I told Jake that I was going to have this baby and if he didn’t want to, he needed to leave then. I wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate or anything. He said he was going to stay. I was trying to give him ...