Random Thoughts

Maybe. Who knows. I offered today to work Saturday's game. At the game. Something I've never done. Will there be stupid people there? Most likely. Hopefully, I can muddle through. The only reason I agreed? A FULL DAY of overtime. I need it right now, and it should be lovely when I get there. 1:30 pm to 9:30 pm, so at least it won't be early on Saturday, and not terribly late since I don't have to work Sunday. Since it's after the new month, I won't see it until payday on the 21st, but still, it should even out birthday expenses incurred for Derek's birthday. Which I still have to make invitations for. Eek. We are trying to figure out how many kids, how long, if we want to feed them, if we should do a movie (like they'll sit still!), and all that. He's allowed one friend to stay the night, and for right now, he says that friend is Josh. I'm going to have to hold him to it soon, as I will also need to figure out how many people so that I can make...

Me (wonderful me): What did you learn at church today? Derek (precocious son): I learned about pumpkins and how we are like pumpkins. Me: We? Pumpkins? How so? Derek: Christians. Me: o_O...Christians? You and I? Derek: Yeah. Me: I'm not a Christian, you can be one if you'd like, but I'm not. That's a religion and you can pick which religion you'd like, and I don't really have a religion. Derek: Oh. Maybe not Christian, some other word? Me: People? Homo sapiens? We are both that. Derek: Nah. Ok. So. I can see why he'd just think that everyone was like him. Much as he believed that since George Bush is president, everyone MUST have voted for him. No way, dude. I like that he had fun. I even like that he wants to go back. I'm happy that he has found something to believe in for now. Kids and Faith are a lot more common than Adults and Faith. I'm at a loss about how to talk about such things with him some times. I don't want to make him think it'...

I'm completely blanking on relevant song lyrics lately. You know what else? I email myself ideas all the time. My hotmail account has like...10 pages of emails from me. Little ideas to blog about, more fleshed out ideas. And yet I can't ever seem to just sit and branch out on the ideas. Then I get pissed when I want to type but don't have anything to say. But I tend to forget about the emailed ideas until I go clean out my Hotmail account. Which I hadn't checked since September last time I looked at it. I get home and I mean to post and then all I can do is get my kid to bed, eat dinner, and sit on the bed with Ben and chill. I don't even look at the computer. Part of it is self preservation as I know that I could very well look up and realize it's almost midnight and I have to get up at 6! I'm too old to stay up so late. Especially since I wake often in the night. I'm convinced I need a sleep number bed. It will make my waking up not happen. Sure. LOL. ...

"Life's short and hard like a body building elf, so save the planet and kill yourself. If you're feeling down and out, wondering what life is all about, lift your head up high and blow your brains out." No, I'm not depressed, actually Bloodhound Gang makes me kind of happy. (For being somewhat depressing lyrics, it's set to a really up tempo beat. That's what I love about Bloodhound Gang, they sing about some crazy shit, but it's always upbeat as far as the music.) That's just the way I'm going to feel after Saturday. We open EARLY and I could possibly be here for 10 hours if they need me. We're only planning for about 9 hours so far, so possible O/T is a good thing. It is just not something I'm looking forward to. I have to make the walk to Springfield Station again at 6:40 am, or else be 5 minutes late. I might do that this time. Don't know yet. I don't have money for the Dutch this time though. Derek is going to go to a frie...

Yesterday marked my fifth year of work here, according to my A/R record. My boss is a bit more confused on the actual day and I'll tell you that I do not remember. What I do remember was how quiet I was for like...the first year. I thought I would do everything wrong and I was still getting used to doing things the bookstore way. Everything was good, even if I was as scared as a mouse and made less noise than one. I was SO happy to have a job that actually utilized my degree. Now I can't help but laugh about how angry I used to get over perceived "unfairnesses". Then I grew up a little more and realized that the world is not even, is not fair. Something I should have already known really. What about my life was ever fair? Ha. I think that school was fair. I think I got used to everyone being treated the same way and the "easiness" of school. So coming into a job where certain people are treated differently was weird. Some of it was normal, since others had b...

I just read Karen's letter to Derek. I know it was not addressed to me, but it was open and on the table. She is really amazing. And she is in an un-enviable position, being the person married to Jake. She has to deal with his "I forgot"s and all that. Plus, she has to tread eggshells around me. That's the impression that I get. And I feel for her. I don't want to put her in that position, but she often ends up being the middle person between Jake and I. We are both stubborn assholes and yet she deals with it. It was a very nice letter, detailing how much she misses my son. I really couldn't ask for more in a step mom. I abhorred my own step mother, and I only hope that Derek adores his. Scratch that, I know Derek likes her. It's obvious when he brings up how Karen does "this" this way, and you know what? I end up butthurt over it, when I should really be saving up these moments to share with her. Moments that would make her realize that while ki...

I'm particularly "posty" tonight, sorry. I guess. Unless this entertains you. I'm having a hard time realizing that I'm really kind of a spoiled bitch. I'm not sure how it happened, as I used to sleep outside and live on the streets. Which means, NO TV, y'all. But my cable rocks my world now, and maybe that's sad, I don't know. I've been having problems with the "on demand" feature, and so this week the cable people came and gave me a new cable box. Which means...that I was FINALLY able to watch the season premiere of CSI. All I really wanted to know was if Sara lived or not. The added addition of seeing "Mr. Heckles" from friends was awesome. I just finished it and finished crying over it. I'm an emotional girl as we all know. I've loved CSI for a very long time now. Not since the beginning as I didn't get the concept, but for many years now. Ben does not really like it, so I watch it On Demand. And I always won...

I'm going to preface this by saying it's really my own damn fault, I made my bed and all that, but that does not mean I can not bitch about it now on my blog, cause I am a whiny bitch. Ok, end disclaimer. I was having a really good week. Really good. 1. The landlord's husband came over and fixed the front porch light, and the washer. I think there might be a leg missing on the washer, or else I really overload every load. I suppose it's possible. But YAY! Front porch light works again, and the washer shouldn't bang against the wall every time I do laundry. 2. The painter man came over and painted the front door black. I, again, have a bi-color door. This is made marginally better by the fact that it is black/white and not blue/orange. It's very strange though, cause now my door is black. I'm not sure I'm used to it yet. The most important thing is that while he was there Ben asked about the garage door (my house is falling apart y'all, but I don...

It could be that I know I have to go home and then go shopping when I get home. It could be that I know the day is not going to be over until 10 or so what with the shopping. It could be that I slept through the alarm and have been scrambling ever since. It could be that I stayed up too late? Though I slept through the night and didn't wake up once that I remember which is rare for me, so you'd think I'd be ahead. I didn't have coffee at home, so maybe I just need to drink more. I just feel drained at this point. It is most likely because I worked Saturday, had one day off to do errands and a whole bunch of bullshit, and then came back to work. So maybe I just need a real weekend. I know that other people do it all the time, some people never have a day off and work 2 different jobs and my hat is off to them cause I could not handle that. I've made a ton of posts and tried to finish them, but they don't feel complete. I've been working on one for like a week...