Random Thoughts

I've avoided talking about this all week. My weight went up. That five pounds I lost last time? Gained that back, plus another pound. And it's fine to be happy with your body and all that, and I'm really trying not to obsess over a number, but this could affect my health. They went on and on about how my specific birth control can make you gain weight, can make you feel hungry when you're not, or that Depo puts on two pounds every year that you CAN'T LOSE. Which is bullshit. I mean, I already eat when I'm not necessarily hungry, obviously. But how can they track that? How can they say that it's definitely the birth control's fault? In August when I went in, I expressed my concern over my seeming senility and how I'd managed to forget to take the pill a little to often for my liking. They seemed to think that Depo was the way to go, even though I kept asking about an IUD. She didn't like that idea apparently. And I didn't care, as long as some...

Last month marked the 19th year since my Grandma died. I don't know exactly what day. I only know that we had the funeral and my little sister Angie was born the day after. So, sometime before March 23, 1988. I still remember her. I idolized her. With her over the top blue eye make up, with her mole in the middle of her back (I inherited that mole), and her permed hair. She always seemed so strong. I KNEW that she was taking care of everything even if my mom couldn't. Mom and I lived with her for a little while when I was younger. I don't necessarily remember living with her. I remember her little dog, Smoky. (I'll get you and your little dog too! hee hee) I remember how she extended her eye liner out to look like cat eyes. Any time I see some young person wearing their make up like that I think about my grandma. I remember how she always took baths. She didn't like the water on her face from the shower. Which seems strange to me now, seeing as how she always seemed...