Random Thoughts

Look, down there It looks funny. Dammit! Karina: I have no idea what you were trying to do, email me and I'll help fix it :)

Worth 1 Sick Chicken You scored 9% Chelsea Factor! Damn. Why did you even bother taking the test?? You scored so low... Either you're a dude and don't read directions, or you're an ultra femi-nazi with too much time on her hands. Though if you scored this low, I guess some sort of congratulations are in order? (Don't forget to rate the test and send me feedback, I'd love to hear your thoughts!) My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender : You scored higher than 99% on Chelsea Factor Link: The How Many Cows are you Worth Test written by b42collins on Ok Cupid Alas, it was not to be. Apparently, I am a femi-nazi. :(

Karina Black here again, posting on behalf of Miz D! Guess what I found, PICTURES FROM HER BIRTHDAY KARAOKE NIGHT! OH yes... yes I DID. Going to post them on my site later today, if she wants to uplink them she totally can ;) MWahaha! D has this to say today: I got a new CD! :) Ben made it for me, cause he is nice. It has things such as B-52's, Jewel, and all sorts of new pop crap (including Don'tcha - The Pussycat Dolls and Pon De Replay - Rhianna (what does that mean?, I don't know, but it's got a great beat)), that I LOVE! I've listened to it twice today, and another half this morning on the bus. He is so nice, even though now he has to listen to it. He's so gonna hate me! :)

Karina Black again, posting for The Divine Miz D! I think she needs a hug. Please send her many comments and dirty emails. Naughty pictures may be sent to her regular addy, but please keep her work emails clean ;) Boobage in particular is appreciated. She writes: Just having a moment... ________________________________________ Look how long this is taking... :) Some of you will understand, some will not. That's all..

Karina Black here again folks, posting on behalf of the Wiley Miz D! Here are her words of wisdom today. May I recommend a small prayer on her behalf, to whichever diety you find most helpful or amusing? It's a word that is strong enough to strike fear into hearts everywhere. Unless you are us Accountants. Us accountants do Audits voluntarily. Yes, voluntarily. Or at least the prep work. Every year this time comes around and we get so busy we don't know which end is up anymore. It is something new, but man, can it be hard and confusing. This is my life until the 8th, this is what I will be doing. AUDIT.

Perhaps that is the wrong song lyrics. I don't mind sympathy, just no pity please. Maybe they are the exact some thing? Ok, so as with all posts that are deeply personal, I questioned myself all night and am half-convinced I outta come in and delete the post. I might just bury it at the bottom of all the posts for yesterday. I don’t know why I did it. It wasn’t for pity. I don’t want people to look at me differently. I know that much. I’m still the same person. I think I did it to help anyone else who might’ve had the same thing happen. Shit happens, we grow up and get over it. Am I completely over it? Not yet. Am I bitter? Yes, somedays I am very bitter. Am I ever gonna get over it? I don’t know. I do know it gets better every day. I slept like crap, I kept waking up and thinking about it. Wondering if it was too much. Wondering if it was gonna hurt my little sister. Wondering if people are gonna treat me like a freak now. I hope not. I’m still just Desiree, it happened long ago, ...

That my hits have gone up quite considerably in the last hour or so. Yay, people are reading my posts. I love you people. Oh and by the way, I am SO NOT VANILLA. T was askance that I have pictures of me being tied to an ex's waterbed. That's not even that Unvanilla - ok, not a word, who cares? Ok, I don't have the pics, but somewhere they might be running around. I hope not, but you can't really see my face in the pic at least. So I got that going for me. *grin*

Does this make up for not being able to post? This is about 15, 16, 17 posts. I don't know. I hope you are all much amused. I sure have been.

Do you like my pretty pink toes, Coffeehouser? Aren't they beautiful? Also, here is my awful, mean scar from the Blister from Hell..

I watched this creepy ass movie last Sunday. I thought nothing of it. I was like...it's fine, it's not even creepy like "The ring", it's more of a "Silence of the Lambs" type thing. Not as creepy. Until 4:00 in the morning, when I woke up and all I could think about was the creepy ass puppet. And how I was sure that I would soon see that all too white face with the bad make-up. When Ben went home on Thursday, I put the TV on "sleep" and rolled over to try and sleep. The next minute, I coulda swore I heard a footstep in the hall. I rolled back over and said screw this, and turned the Tv back off sleep. It stayed on all night. I am such a baby.

I have veered away from my chosen alcohol. I love Rum and Cokes. Recently though, I have circled back to Tequila. Yes, Tequila. I know it's bad for me. I know it is. But Margueritas? They are good for me. So very, very good. Salty, and limey, and yumminess. I love the salt especially, but lime is damn good too. Do you like Margueritas, too?

We had plans to go to Jenn's last Saturday. We needed to go downtown early, so we did. Unfortunately, it left much time to wander around downtown. We decided to hit the Saturday Market (hippies, hippies everywhere)and look around. I finally find a really cool booth with skirts in my size. I was super excited and wanted to look at them. Unfortunately, I turned around and came eye to eye with creepy ex boyfriend. Yep, selling shit at the Saturday Market? What the fuck? He is a wannabe vampire and not a hippie. His girlfriend is though apparently. I don't think he knows I saw him (the beauty of sunglasses), and I was in a hurry to get the fuck away. A few moments later, Ben says, that was him, huh? I was like....yeah, it was. Ben - He doesn't look so creepy without the ball cap and the sunglasses. Yeah, well he doesn't want to look scary, he wants to sell stuff. We left the Saturday Market after lunch (umm, Ritta's Burritos) and crossed the street. We hear from behind...

Just a little. They had this yummy stuff that was on "close out". Meaning, I would guess that it would be gone if I don't buy it. This was one of those...."I think it's important that we do." moments. I bought it, it is Baja Mocha and it is YUMMY. A little tequila, mixed in with some cream, chocolate liquor stuff. I am about to embark on the funny things that have happened to me. That's right, prepare for craziness.

Doxie fucking rocks. This is TOO FUNNY !

Might wonder how it is that I haven't posted in ages. My friends, I am a totally dumbass. This is 2005, and somehow I neglected to think.....oh, well they can trace everything I've ever typed on the computer. They can....and they will. It was bad, very bad. I am not fired, I am not even on "probation", but it was a real wake up call. That is why I went through all the work posts and cleaned up. I don't know if they have the address or what. I feel censored, though. I guess I should just realize that if they are reading it, it's their own damn problem. I will post when I can, I might even go to the library and post there. Not sure yet. I am being super lazy without Derek around and only going a bare minimum of places. Not to mention, I am sleeping until 11:00 and later. I know...you all hate me, but I love staying up and sleeping in. *grin*

I've been saying this a lot lately... "I think it's important that we do!" And usually when it's not really important at all.

To anyone who I have ever left a message too. I listened to a message on my cell for Ben, and I got to it first. I RAMBLE *shocked* I had no idea. I just go on and on. I can't leave a short message. I say "I don't know" a lot. I say...."ok" a lot. I also say Bullcrap! Is that a mix of bullshit and crap? I guess it's the same thing.

Dutch Bros. is having dollar drink day on the 27th this month. EVERY DRINK IS A DOLLAR AND EVERY DOLLAR GOES TO THE CANCER SOCIETY. Go and drink much coffee and be VERY HAPPY.

I am simultaneously posting and reading other people's stuff. I miss you all, so much. I miss the Dooce and Bucky and Jessica and Gracelynn. I'm gonna catch up. Did I forget to sing the praises of my bestest, most wonderful friend ever, who doesn't even care that I am just sitting here, typing away when I should be visiting with her? Prolly, but I meant it.

That I SANG at Karaoke on my birthday? I can hardly believe it now, but I did. I couldn't really hear myself, so I have no idea how it worked. They said I was ok, but they have to say that, right? I also got to dance with some chick in a bra and no shirt....well, an overshirt, but not a real shirt. She was cute. Maybe that's why I've been having dreams about sex with girls. *grin*

I missed you too. I can't decide if I should just keep typing or what. I'll try and do as much as I can.

Our electronics bathroom has stickers taped up around the lock, to show which position is correct. For the lock position they say "Ninja's stay out", and for the unlock position "Ninja's come in". You gotta love it.

So, the whole day went ok. I got some stuff done, even if I did feel rather sluggish. I was supposed to leave at 5:15 or so, to catch the bus and cut over time. However, at the last minute, my boss's boss asks me how I feel about her performance as a boss. I had the perfect opportunity to tell her how I felt and about the snipy comments she makes about people and how she isn't strict enough. I only got how she wasn't strict enough out, before I got all upset. We also started talking about how some people tend to think I am stupid due to my age. That upset me even more. Then someone called me and asked a few questions, by the time I got off the phone it was 5:16, the bus leaves at 5:17. Big surprise, I didn't make it. Ben and I had planned to meet up, so I took a bus that left a little later and thought it would make it. When I knew it wouldn't, I got off the bus and ran down two streets to another bus stop. And it woulda worked too, if that bus stop hadn't been ...

She was talking about how her archives only went back so far, but they wouldv'e gone on longer, but she took the work stuff out. Me too. That last thing I need is to get in troubl because I have a big mouth. So, if you can't find a post, sorry. I have no idea how many I deleted, but it took about 40 fucking minutes, so a few, I am sure. On with the blogging.

Well Ben and Ariel are determined to let me do this stuff while they play the games and I don't know what to type anymore. So, I am thinking maybe this is the time to lay it out. Right now when I can't worry for the next week what people think. Just thinking about doing it is making me shaky. And making me worry that I will get emotional. Anyhow, not much else to share right now, so here it is. I don't know when it started. I know that I always knew about sex. I made off color remarks and seemed to know things other children did not. My mother came home one day to find me (4 or 5) in the bath with my step father. She freaked the hell out, quite rightly. I didn't know any better, I do remember the fighting that went on after that. Years later, she starts telling me about how I need to make sure I am fully dressed all the time (hello puberty) when walking around my own house. I still didn't realize what she meant. After that, he found ways to spend time with me. I was...

Karina Black here again, got an update from Super-D. (double D? triple D?) She says: I don't know. Feeling dumb in the head, not sure why. Definitely do NOT feel like working. It's the after lunch slump. I am going to Ariel's Saturday to steal her computer. I am gonna blog like crazy, if I'm not more busy catching up on other people's. I so miss the Dooce. Not sure if I should just type until I can't anymore, or if I should read everything I've been missing out on. I usually have a little bit of time to check out the people who I know IRL, cause I like to know what's up with them, but not enough time to check the others. I got your letter in the mail. Those pics of Birdie are SO CUTE! I loved it. Much impressed that you have enough time to write out that letter and send it out. I am so lazy and I never get around to sending out pics. I always mean too, but I manage to put it off. I am the original procrastinator. :) She also said: KARINA I LOVE YOU, I W...

Good Morning All!! The lovely, sexy, booby-licious Miz Dez is out, leave a message at the (@*#(@#$! HAH! This is KARINA BLACK filling in, y'all. D's gonna email me posts, and I'm a-gonna post 'em for her. Sit back, relax, laugh your ass off, and no one gets hurt see... And now onto the lesbian sex: > > The talker is SO ignorant! > > We used to have a girl who worked with us who is a > > lesbian. She came in the > > other day and told everyone she was pregnant, and > > the Talker has not been > > able to stop talking about it since. > > She asked me if I thought they picked someone and > > just asked him to "do her" > > or what. > > Then when she was explaining to an intern about > why > > this was juicy to her, > > she was like...."I'm going to say this really > > quietly (in a > > whisper).....She's a lesbian!" > > > > Like it's a communi...

Ariel won at Yahtzee, time to find a new game that she can't win. *evil grin*

Feel much better, at least sickness wise. I have fun stories, including the night of I don't know how many shots and how for my birthday I get to have hangovers. Gone are my smug days. Or the story about how many people came over to my house for my birthday, except THAT didn't happen. So some of you readers (the mean ones) will agree that I am so lame I get my boyfriend and best friend to come over for my 25th birthday celebration. I guess you might be right, seeing as how I didn't manage to get a party going. We had fun anyhow. I got the New BEP album, talking about it incessantly does wonders *grin*, and Willow. I LOVE THAT MOVIE! Umm, Val Kilmer. My grandpa called, outta the blue, so I got that. It was nice, even though we don't really know each other much. This year marks me living in Oregon for longer than I lived in Colorado, so we have no idea about each other. It was still nice to hear from someone. He's sending a card, which prolly means money. Hurray, GO G...

Things people were looking for when they found me…. 1. Listen to animal f*** girls – Well, that’s gross and I’m happy you didn’t find what you were looking for. ICK! 2. I need somebody to understand me – Oh, I might…. 3. Don’t mess with my heart, or Don’t phunk with my heart. – Black Eyed Peas ROCK! 4. Courage song Desiree – Oh how nice, never heard of that song. 5. What goes up must come down song – I must confess I have NO IDEA how this got me a hit. Usually I can tell why and what post it prolly came up with, here I don’t know. 6. Repeat – Don’t Phunk with my heart . – Black Eyed Peas ROCK some more. 7. Love is a battlefield cool song – Yes, yes it is. 8. Derek bottles – I can guess why they ended up here, but why they were looking? No idea. 9. Repeat – I need somebody to understand me – Where’s your blog? I’ll read it and try to understand, unless you are the one who was looking for animal sex. 10. Customer Service thoughts – Boy, do I have some of those. :) 11. Diamond Lig...

I woke up yesterday morning and my door was cracked. Which means Derek has opened the door during the night. I figured he had looked and realized he couldn’t crawl into the bed, and went back to his room. So I went down the hall to his room to see if he was still sleeping….. And I look, and there is NO KID in the bed. Just covers. So, I walk around the house, panicking a little more each second that I don’t see or hear him. He likes to sneak up the side of the bed and press himself up against it, so that I don’t see him and make him get off the floor. Like he needs someone to step on him and break a bone. I figure that I must just be looking wrong and I go back into his room, maybe he’s under the covers or something, right? No, it’s not just me being stupid and sleepy, he IS NOT there. I go back into my bedroom, pretty freaked out at this point, and look at the side of the bed, where he squeezes himself against the bed. Like I thought, he isn’t there, I would have noticed had I stepped...

Someone keeps finding my site, cause they are searching for.... "I need someone to understand me..."

I've been super touchy feely today. I think it's cause I am trying to feel better about how stupid it was not to pay the phone bill. Who cares anyhow, just hope I don't get sued. :)

Cause no one else cares...All about OLTL... I was trying to catch up on my tapes and watched last Thursday's this morning, and I loved this... David (to Kevin)- Are you asking me to be your best friend forever? I LOVE DAVID! He is so funny. I hope they manage to keep scuzzy "Spencer" away from Kelly. Like she needs that crap. I tend to like my Jessica normal and sweet, so Ginger kinda pissed me off the other day when she said she likes "Tess" better. I understand the need to get things out and not always be the most nicest person, but damn! Give it a break.

I RAN OUT OF MY FAVORITE LIP GLOSS THIS MORNING! I can't turn it up at all, it just keeps twisting around and around. Bye Champagne (frosty pale color), I knew you well. Also, they have MAGNETS! I NEED magnets! They have ones with crabs(Cancers) on them (boy that sounds bad) that has good/bad qualities on each. And HAPPY BUNNY! Only 3, but they are good. They have "It's cute how stupid you are." And "Parents are stupid, but they give you money." And "I like boys, they are stupid." It's like I'm gonna have to join the magnet a month club of something. Let myself buy one every month.

I just went to Bank of America online and filled out a form and I don't for sure have a checking account, but at least I am one step closer. They will let me know, apparently. I tried Wamu, but it said something about it not being able to process right now, so screw them, they don't get my business. Cross your fingers for me, people. :)

Wow, She's pretty. :) Thanks honey!

My phone got shut off again!!! The phone is always due on the 2nd. Neither of use have money until the 4th. We usually manage to pay it before they turn it off and charge me a $15.00 fee. Not so lucky the past TWO months….That’s $30 FUCKING dollars, bastards. Last month, I think Ben forgot, after I asked him, but I figured, well, it doesn’t happen often, it’s ok. This month, I didn’t even ask, I totally forgot. He had money yesterday and the phone worked yesterday, and I FORGOT! I feel so damn fucking helpless and apathetic. Part of me is like…fuck it, who needs a phone anyways? Right? It’s a stupid fucking phone anyways. They would switch the days if I paid a little extra, but I would have to go to the store in person and do it. I don’t have any fucking time! Do they not know this? Now I have no idea when Ben will be coming to get my paycheck to cash it. I just want my own bank account. But again, who has the time? If I don’t come in Friday, I’m not gonna want to come into Eugene just...

Finished the book, Ariel....... The last 50 pages were damn quick. I spent a lot of time on it yesterday what with all the waiting. Derek has been walking around saying...."My bad." It's strange, we think he picked it up from TV. Heather A. used to say that all the time. I've said it too, maybe I still do and I don't realize it. Oh hey, it's payday, I need to go get my check.

Someone found my site by looking for sexy moaning noises! You have come to the right place. No, not really. I am not cool enough to know how to do sound, or else I would give you some of my sexy moaning noises. *flirty wink*

I came here and refreshed to see if Karina's comment had shown up and it made my post become a draft again. It just disappeared. I guess I should be happy it didn't disappear forever.

It took FOREVER to get my birth control pills. I hate that waiting room. Kids yelling, or trying to escape while their mother looks like she is not paying attention. She was, but I almost jumped up when he walked out the door, umm, there are stairs RIGHT there. But whatever, they're only CONCRETE stairs, he'll be fine. Good news... My blood pressure is back down. Apparently, even the last time it wasn't as bad as the woman made out. She had me feeling like I was gonna die of a blood clot the next time I lit a cigarette up. Sure, it might have made a difference in my smoking less, but why does she gotta lie about it?...still not calling it quitting...I'm getting worse and worse, but it's still not an everyday thing. I'm totally buying myself a pack for my birthday. Bad news.... Weight is up 10 lbs. Granted, I only have them check once a year, so maybe it was up more and I've managed to lose some. I don't know, I'd felt like I was doing better with all...

No fun posties today. C'mon people. Don't you know I need to read? :) Instead, I shall give y'all the update on birthday plans, quickly, I have to go to Family Planning here shortly. Man, I hate birth control. It's such a pain in the ass. Looking like Ariel can come over Saturday night, for an impromptu early birthday party. That way I can go out on Tuesday (after going to Karaoke Monday) and it will be cheaper than going out on a weekend. And quieter, which I am fond of. Ice cream cake and drinks...anyone up for it? (Yes, I mean you! Bring childrens, bring yourselves, I don't care who comes, but I would love to see people.) Ok, that sounds like a bad combination, but you don't have to have both. Prolly pizza too, they are cheap and easy. Sounds like a good prom date....HAHA! Anyhow, I don't have a time for y'all. Maybe about 6 or 7. That should give me enough time. Actually, somehow I already don't remember when Ariel gets off that day. And I will h...

So what if that isn't a word... "Whateva, I do what I want..." I just wanted to tell y'all how much fun I had yesterday. I decided, since I was getting a ride, that I should wear the " Sandals from hell " and show off my pretty pink toenails. Yep, the're pink. They've been pink since Saturday night when I got drunk and painted them with 3 coats. I dripped on the carpet too, but that's not the point. We were gonna take a pic to show Coffeehouser how pink it really was, but we got sidetracked. I tried really hard to do Ben's nails too. But, he wasn't going for it, even though I told him it would be really cute. Derek's woulda been done if he wasn't sleeping. Cause I am mean! I went to Jenn's house for the 4th. Derek and her daughter got along REALLY well. It was nice, and good for him to get outta the house. Her son is so cute, still basically a baby, but also able to communicate. Although I must confess, I've been outta p...

I'm out, y'all. Have a great weekend. And a wonderful 4th of July. No blowing your fingers off, mkay?

I was putting something in the oven for dinner, and Derek looks at me and says.."Where's Ben?" (Yep, even he knows who cooks in my house *laugh*) I said, "He had to run to the store." Outta nowhere, the kid goes.."I guess he'll be living with us soon." I said..."yeah, probably. Why? Is that ok?" (Here is where I am a BAD mother, I didn't even think about it affecting Derek or what he thought..ACK) "Yeah, that's ok." "Do you like him? Is he nice to you?" "Yeah." (It's his favorite word, that and fine...how are you doing? Fine) "Well then, I can't think of a better person to live with. Someone who is nice to me and nice to you." "Yeah." OK, typing this out, the kid sounds less than enthusiastic, but I swear he seemed pretty happy about it. He might as well live with us now, anyway. =)

I went home last night and whined about having to work today. Ben said....well, you're getting off (huh huh) early right? Yep, 5 instead of 6, so that's something. And then he said the magic words.... Then you can come home and a drink will be waiting for you. Did I mention how cool he is? That means he has to go and get coke and take the heathen kid with him to the store - a fate worse than death sometimes - but he's nice like that, so I am counting down the minutes. 230 minutes left, and 30 of those will be for lunch. HURRAY! I actually haven't had a rum and coke since the last time Ariel was over, on the 19th or so. Freaky!

What are you gonna do? Take my birthday away? *grin* Always You Sophie Zelmani If it wasn't the oceans, wasn't the breezes, wasn't the white sands, I might not be needed, If I could sleep through the coal mines, If I could breathe through hatred, If I could, work through the summer, then I woulnd't feel so humble, oh you, it's always you, it's always you. If red roses weren't so lovely, Wine didn't taste so good, Stars weren't so romantic, Then I could do what I should Oh you, it's always you It's always you. Oh you, it's always you It's always you If you love, I could command it, Get your head, to understand it, I'd go twice, around the world, Even though, I may not find it. Oh you, it's always you, It's always you. You, it's always you, It's always you.

The bus only does Sunday service on Monday since it's the 4th of July. Which means the last bus leaves downtown at 7:30. Who does fireworks before that? I don't think I can go anywhere that I can't walk home from. Damn, thanks for the offer Jenn, but I can't, obviously. Unless I want to walk to Springfield from your house. Yeah. that shouldn't take to long. /sarcasm I HATE not having a car. :(

I love this song. Had to share it. :) I'll Be Okay Amanda Marshall It's time to let you go It's time to say goodbye There's no more excuses No more tears to cry There's been so many changes I was so confused All along you were the one All the time I never knew I want you to be happy You're my best friend But it's so hard to let you go now All that could have been I'll always have the memories She'll always have you Fate has a way of changing Just when you don't want it to [Chorus] Throw away the chains Let love fly away Till love comes again I'll be okay Life passes so quickly You gotta take the time Or you'll miss what really matters You'll miss all the signs I've spent my life searching For what was always there Sometimes it will be too late Sometimes it won't be fair [Chorus] I won't give up I won't give in I can't recreate what just might have been I know that my heart will find love again Now is the time to be...

You Don't Know Me Jann Arden You give your hand to me And then you say hello And I can hardly speak My heart is beating so And anyone can tell You think you know me well But you don't know me No you don't know the one Who dreams of you at night And longs to kiss your lips Longs to hold you tight Oh I am just a friend That's all I've ever been Cause you don't know me I never knew the art of making love No my heart aches with love for you Afraid and shy I let my chance go by The chance that you might love me too You give your hand to me And then you say goodbye I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy Oh you will never know The one who loves you so Well you don't know me You give your hand to me And then you say goodbye I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy Oh you will never know The one who loves you so Cause you don't know me Oh no you don't know me OOhh...you don't know me

That I have the sappy love song down below and this one on the same CD. This is totally a "I will survive" song. Too funny. Strong enough Cher I don't need your sympathy There's nothing you can say or do for me And I don't want a miracle You'll never change for no one I hear your reasons why Where did you sleep last night? And was she worth it, was she worth it? 'Cos I'm strong enough To live without you Strong enough and I quit crying Long enough now I'm strong enough To know you gotta go There's no more to say So save your breath And then walk away No matter what I hear you say I'm strong enough to know you gotta go So you feel misunderstood Baby, have I got news for you On being used, I could write the book You don't wanna hear about it I've been losing sleep You've been going cheap She ain't worth half of me it's true I'm telling you Now I'm strong enough To live without you Strong enough and I quit crying Lo...

After All Cher and Peter Cetera Well here we are again I guess it must be fate We’ve tried it on our own But deep inside we’ve known We’d be back to set things straight I still remember when Your kiss was so brand new Every memory repeats Every step I take retreats Every journey always Brings me back to you Chorus: After all the stops and starts We keep coming back to these two hearts Two angels who’ve been rescued from the fall And after all that we’ve been through It all comes down to me and you I guess it’s meant to be Forever you and me After all When love is truly right This time it’s truly right It lives from year to year It changes as it grows And oh the way it grows But it never disappears Chorus Always just beyond my touch Though I needed you so much After all what else is living for Whoa Chorus x 2

I woke up to birds this morning. You'd think that would make me happy and put me in a good mood. Except they woke me up 20 minutes earlier than I needed to be. And that was enough for my bladder to start it's incessant urging. Dammit! Why do the birds need to sit in cherry tree and chirp in the morning?

Here I sit, another Saturday of work. I'm totally listening to Cher too. Another guilty pleasure. Not many like Cher, especially the soft rock crap. It's my personal mix of most of Heart of Stone (I think - whichever one has "If I could turn back time", and "After All") and the newest one (Whichever had "Do you believe in Love?"). I like it. I'm totally singing with it too. If you are driving past the bookstore and hear some awful wailing, that's me. :) I do like the privacy of the back room. Having the door shut means I can sing. Even though I can hear a little bit of what is going on out there, I seem to think they can't hear me.

Wow, I think I might have managed to piss a lot of people off yesterday. I hope not. I hope you all are still ok with me. What with my pill rant and guilting my friends. They were both my thoughts and that's what I do here. I could rename it to - Mean Bitch? Or maybe put a note up there saying... Pissing people off daily? I kinda like that, honestly.

I just had a baby in my arms. A 4 month old. Damn, they are cute. Whoever thought toothless and bald was cute? She is so tiny and can't talk. If only they stayed babies.

I'm trying. I'm so blah today. I don't think I'll ever see Ariel again. She's busy working and being busy. Are you gonna be one of those people who gets a job and never talks to me again? Cause that's gonna lead me down BAD ROADS. Roads that say....oh, well they wanted to hang out when they had time, and didn't have anything to do. Cause I always figure out something to do and usually can have the cash one way or another. At times I feel like I "buy" the people I hang out with. I'm sure it's not true. It's prolly just my stupid thoughts. Heather A. is one of those. I can be angry with her, but I always give up. It's not like she cares when I am angry with her. She just doesn't call. Then after awhile she comes over and acts like we are still best friends. I keep getting, we should hang out. I should buy you some beers and we can have a bitchfest. I love those times. She always acts like she doesn't want me spending money on ...

Keep standing right behind me and clearing your throat, and you will get stabbed with a pencil. Is that what you want? Why do you have to clear your throat so damn much anyways? You're not a smoker, I don't get it. Off to lunch before I start throwing things at him. I had my nice quiet area back here, with no one around (cause they all want 4 day weekends, lucky bastards) and he had to come back here and just sit. Go away, go and watch over the cashiers who are not dressed appropriately. Dammit, I hate it when people break the rules and get away with it.

I’ve been tagged by Ariel to chronicle five things that "society at large enjoys but that I, for the most part, just don't get". 1) Star Wars – I don’t get it. Everyone loves these damn movies and I could care less. Even my 7 year old has watched more of them than I have. I just don’t get it, I guess. I think part of it is that no one took me to watch it at a movie theater when I was just a little kid and could appreciate it. 2) Religion – I don’t have a religion. I am of the type who has a hard time believing things unless I see them. Maybe I’ll go to hell, but I’ll have a good time getting there. The only people I look to for approval are friends and not some almighty gods. It makes things easier. I’ve went to church a few times and I love Greek Mythology, but I could really care less about religion. Maybe I’m just mad, what kind of a god allows awful things to happen to people? I do like the idea of more than one god, but to other religions that’s sacriligious. I ...

This cracked me up. Maybe because Derek has been a demon lately, and when we ride his ass about it, he gets upset and says things like..... I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU! and DON'T TALK TO ME!

Derek strikes again! I had a funny email on my fridge about how this man bought his wife a mood ring to gauge her mood swings. It ends with something to the effect of..... When I'm happy, it glows green, When I angry, it leaves a big f-u-c-k-i-n-g red mark on his forehead... Maybe next time, he'll buy me a diamond instead. I LOVE this email. I kept it on my fridge forever. And last week I noticed the kid had taken and unusual interest in the fridge and he started giggling. Plus, he asked me later, what a mood swing was. I had to throw it away. :( I didn't know where else to put it. I already have all my old stickers from the Porn store that I can't put up anywhere. The bedroom isn't totally kid free. Err!

This flew outta the kid's mouth last night...(brace yourself) "President Bush is the best president ever!" I was like....what? What did you just say in my house? Then he tried to back it up with something about him being president since the 70's. Huh? We told him, no, he wasn't. "Then who was?" Carter??? Like I really know. I know all of them since Reagan, but before that, not so lucky. History isn't my strong suit. Then the child says this... "Do you like the president?" I said, well some people do. Enough people do that he is still president. But some people think he isn't too bright. And I mentioned how everyone is at war...Actually, I think that's when he mentioned the 70's....something about "That's so 70's". Child, I wasn't even alive in the 70's. But I guess not liking war is "70's". I knew I was turning into a hippy! So, he asks if I voted for him. I tell him no. And then he looks ...

There is yummy pink nail polish on my desk. I want to peel off my shoes and apply twenty coats to my nails right now. Here's a question, how do you get nail polish off without remover? I still have the blue on them, I can't just pile more. :( We have some nail remover, maybe I will pick some up. Also, did I mention how much I LOVE THE COFFEE GIRLS! They are so cute and always so happy. They talk to me like we are friends. I'd like to think so, I'm more in tune with them than most others here.

Nothing terribly funny today, just some minor gripes....so far. I went out of my way last night, cause it was the last day to use my Benny card (get this, it says Manley Services on this card - HAHAHA) and I had about 5 tax free dollars left. It was denied, prolly because now, at the end of the fucking year, they want all my receipts and I haven't turned them in yet. I have yet to find them. I did keep them, but I thought since I hadn't gotten a letter that they just could see what I bought. It might be that I thought there was more money than there was. If that's not it, though, they should say...you have until the end of fucking May to use the dollars, and not June. Dammit! Reading Ariel....haven't gotten terribly far, but far enough to get to the reference of the SCA and boffers. I KNEW YOU WERE TRYING TO DRAG ME IN, ARIEL! *grin* Just kidding, but I did think it was funny. And just so you know, today is the start of my birth month (just 11 more days), and consequent...