Random Thoughts

Yesterday almost sucked really bad. I went to bed really early Tuesday night, like...earlier than my kid did, it being summer and all. Ben put him to bed, thankfully, and I just decided to really go to sleep after that, instead of just dozing off and on. I dreamt that I woke up at 4 in the morning, and was just bored as hell, so I went running around town. Not a town that I know, but a town I must know in dreams, cause I knew where everything was, enough to dart around avoiding this one guy. Most of my bad dreams involve two things..me being killed, or at least someone trying to kill me, or me knowing that some guy is bad, but no one believes me. Do with that what you will, sounds like I may have some issues. "You knew that though right? I mean, I put up some flyers..I ate a bunch of 'em" This dream was different in it's badness. I dreamt that I ran into creepy ex boyfriend and decided that since I was bored, it would be a good idea to have sex with him. The WHOLE tim...

One Doctor's appointment down! Weight? Down a bit too. Which is awesome. I was all set to blame it on the steroids too. And now I don't have to. It would seem that having nothing taste good helped me not eat as much. Go figure. *smirk* My blood pressure was up though. Probably in response to the absurdly late bus that almost made me late for my appointment. Why is it that when you are in a hurry, people have to get off at every stop? And not just that, but they are take FOREVER to get off the bus. I don't know how bus drivers can stand it. It drives me crazy, I quite literally wanted to scream when I got off the bus and realized I had 4 minutes to get to the appointment that I probably should have been 10 minutes early for. I made it, but just barely. She's prescribed me Psuedoephedrine. The real stuff that you can only get OTC anymore. She's determined it's an allergy and I'm going to go with that. Honestly? I don't have the time, energy, or money to de...

I feel like I have about a billion appointments all of the sudden. I have to go back to the doctor Friday, to check up on everything. I am feeling better, not 100 percent, but better. The headaches may not be able to be gotten rid of unfortunately. It still resides, though it's not a permanent thing, like if I forget about it and think about anything else it doesn't hurt. Mind over matter? Who really knows. All I know for sure is that I go back Friday, and hopefully they will have some better news. Or better pills. People seem shocked that no one has taken my blood yet. What's the big deal? I've only had blood drawn once and that was when I was pregnant, so I'm pretty used to doctors not taking my blood. What good is it anyways? Do sicknesses reside in blood? It felt like I was getting a cold or the flu, so what good does blood do? And if it is an allergy, then checking my blood won't help. Maybe I'll ask them to check my blood. Maybe I need glasses and that...

The doctor gave me steroids. She thinks I'm allergic to something, something more than my common hay fever allergy. I had a hard time believing that because hay fever makes me want to claw my face off, and it makes me sneeze, a LOT. I don't feel like that. Just the sore throat and the headaches. So I got prednisone. My old friend. Hurray. I read everything on the bottle and the paper the pharmacy gave me. There may be side effects, such as bigger appetite, more energy, difficulty sleeping due to the energy, and moodiness. That's only what the doctor told me. The side of the bottle says that "this medicine may lower my ability to fight off infections. Avoid contact with people who have contagious diseases." Which is like half the accounting department. A lot of people were out sick at least one day last week, myself included. The paper says it may cause stomach irritation, hand, feet, or facial swelling, and headaches. HEADACHES? That was part of the whole fucking ...

I tend to over react to things. LOL. That might even be an understatement. I tend to blow things out of proportion sometimes. I'd like to think life is more fun that way, and I'll tell you, I'm rarely bored. I get all butt hurt over stupid crap all the time. For instance, my psyche (ha, I typed psycho first!) smacked me in the face this morning. I was dreaming as I hit the snooze button, and for some reason in my dream Ben told me that our sex life was boring. Thanks subconscious. That's what I needed to wake up to. Fuck you too buddy. But this is really about more pressing matters. See, since I am over dramatic, I look to others for feedback on lots of things. Especially my not quite sickness right now. I haven't taken any Tylenol today, and I'm pretty sure I still feel stupid in the head. I want to go home and take my temperature and hope I have a fever. ANY OUTWARD SIGN OF SICKNESS WOULD BE NICE. I've ran this by a quite a few people and the people who h...

Occasionally, anyhow. I worked yesterday. Which isn't too bad really, cause at least I only have to work with one other person in our department. Usually it's a calmer day. The phone rang a lot though. =( The day started badly. I got to the bus stop on time to catch the bus, and waited, and waited. The bus didn't show up until after 11, when it should have been there around 10:55. At this point, I was almost sure that I would be missing the bus, but I hoped not. We get to the station and my bus is still there somehow. So I ask the guy if I can get off the bus on the other side of the station. Sometimes they will let you. I figured if he would let me off, I would definitely make it. He says..oh, you have plenty of time, the bus driver isn't even on the bus yet. Before we even got to the street to pull out and back in to the station, she was on the bus. I ran as fast as I could, and they shut the doors maybe a minute, maybe only half a minute before I got there. She had p...

It's been a weird summer. I get home and I don't even want to LOOK at the computer, so I get all lax about posting. It's just that I know that nothing entertaining will have popped up. People are enjoying the summer and avoiding their computers much like myself. My cousin was the most contact I had on MySpace, and I think I offended him. I tried to be thoughtful and give a really good answer, or at least my point of view on my music, and he insisted that that wasn't what he meant at all. I think we got it sorted out, but I don't know. I find myself worrying that we will end up with nothing to talk about. He listens primarily to Country, and is a virgin, and will be until he is married. It's completely commendable, but I just have such a hard time with it. People talk about how the natural progression of a relationship is to have sex about 2 or 3 months into it. I'm pretty sure that since I've been doing "it" most boyfriends and I did it almost...

I've decided I'm shopping for my birthday. I'm gonna get pants, we're gonna eat at the food court. ANYWHERE where there is no waiter for Derek to bug. Maybe I'll even get to shop for something fun at Victoria's Secret, or one of the DVD places. Who knows. I don't. Then home to drink Peach rum straight out of the bottle (the yummiest stuff I've ever tasted) and maybe watch a horror movie. Try to stay up and keep my eyes open, that's for sure. It's almost here! To get to the magical day (ha), I have to get through tomorrow. Tomorrow, the day of suck. I have to go back to the doctor and get my next birth control shot. Basically, it goes like this. 1. I get there, I wait. 2. I wait more. 3. The receptionists start talking in Spanish, I am convinced they are talking about me. It's always all about me. LOL. 4. I wait some more, while the phones ring and they laugh about some story one of them just told in Spanish. ANSWER THE PHONE. GAH. 5. I get c...