Random Thoughts

If I don’t make it in, I am leaving y’all a song of the day for Friday right here. Tainted Love Soft Cell Sometimes I feel I've got to Run away I've got to Get away From the pain that you drive into the heart of me The love we share Seems to go nowhere And I've lost my light For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night (chorus) Once I ran to you (I ran) Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I gave you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not nearly all Oh...tainted love Tainted love Now I know I've got to Run away I've got to Get away You don't really want any more from me To make things right You need someone to hold you tight And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way (chorus...) Don't touch me please I cannot stand the way you tease I love you though you hurt me so Now I'm gonna pack my things and go, things and go(3x) ... Tainted love, tainted love (3x)... Run away i've (3x...

I kept bugging the boy until he decided to stay the night. It’s kinda of a miracle he agreed, after I went OFF about how I got in trouble and how I want to work from home or anywhere but here, and all that happy bullshit. Plus, I am the zit patch right now. It seems like I get one under control and two more sprout up, it’s LAME. And I got laid twice. I am so much the accountant that I am keeping track and averaging it out. More than once a day right now. He was like…really? I don’t keep track. I almost said, if I don’t keep track, how am I gonna brag about it?, but he might not have appreciated the thought. So, I was like…oh, I must keep track cause of my enthusiasm for numbers.

Also this morning, the child told me he wanted to be a bird, so he could fly and a bat, so he could have super-sonic hearing. It didn’t even occur to me that a bat can fly too. And then someone said that birds have supersonic hearing as well. So I called him too let him know. Unfortunately, I caught him in the middle of Sega time, so he really coulda cared less. I did ask him this morning if he wanted to sleep upside-down in a cave, and he said he just wanted to be able to have the hearing and not sleep upside-down. Then he told me that the teacher told him she has supersonic hearing and eyes in the back of her head. I didn’t tell him that isn’t possible, maybe he will behave better for it. My entertainment center has a glass door on it, so we can see when he is using the bathroom what he is doing. The other day, Ben was like, what are you doing? And Derek goes, I’m going to the bathroom. And Ben says, then why are you STANDING on the toilet? Derek was like….How can you see me? We tol...

It came to my attention this weekend that the boy likes to make disgusted faces and sounds any time a commercial for girl toys comes on. This morning, on his way into the school building, he had to pass a little girl that was bent over looking through a very girly jewelry box. He kinda made a face, luckily he wasn’t close enough for me to give him crap about it. He seems to think that he MUST make a big deal out of not wanting it, so that I won’t buy him girl toys. I don’t help matters when I tell him that I know he wants every toy he sees. It just gets old to hear…Mom, look at this, I want that…..everytime a commercial comes on. I also threatened to buy the girl toys, if he can’t quit making a big deal about it, and torture him by making him play with them. Again, not mother of the year material, but it was funny. And I think appropriate. He has to learn that just because he doesn’t like it, doesn’t make it ok to be a butt nugget about it.

Not Coming Home Maroon 5 When you refuse me You confuse me What makes you think I'll let you in again? Think again my friend Go on misuse me and abuse me I'll come out stronger in the end Does it make you sad To find yourself alone? Does it make you mad To find that I have grown? Bet it hurts so bad To see the strength that I have shown When you answer the door, pick up the phone, You won't find me 'cause I'm not coming home You do not know how much this hurts me To say these things that I don't want to say But have to say them anyway I would do anything to end your suffering But you would rather walk away Does it make you sad To find yourself alone? Does it make you mad To find that I have grown? I'll bet it hurts so bad To see the strength that I have shown When you answer the door, pick up the phone, You won't find me 'cause I'm not coming home Does it make you sad To find yourself alone? (find yourself alone) Does it make you mad To find that...

Subject: Computer Humor Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate ________________________________ Dear Desperate: First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should ...

"Powerless (Say What You Want)" NELLY FURTADO Paint my face in your magazines Make it look whiter than it seems Paint me over with your dreams Shove away my ethnicity Burn every notion that I may have a flame inside to fight And say just what is on my mind Without offending your might Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do So say what you want Say what you want I saw her face outside today Weatherworn, looking all the rage They took her passion and her gaze and made a poster Now it’s moccasins we sport We take the culture and contort Perhaps only to distort what we are hiding Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do But say what you want Say what you want Hey you, the one, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in, get in Hey you, the one that don’t fit in, how ya, how ya gonna get in Hey you, the one outside, are you ever gonna get in with your Bro...

Busy, busy today. Thought you might like this . Another great story indirectly contributed by Dooce.com

Push Matchbox 20 She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough. I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in, And I don't know if I've ever been really loved, By a hand that's touched me, And I feel like something's gonna give, And I'm a little bit angry. Well, this ain't over, no, not here, Not while I still need you around. You don't owe me, we might change, Yeah, we just might feel good. (chorus) I wanna push you around, Well, I will, Well, I will, I wanna push you down, Well, I will, Well, I will, I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted, Yeah, yeah, well, I will. She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me, Like I'm a little untrusting, When I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya, And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me. You couldn't stand to be near me, When my face don't seem to want to shine, 'Cause it's a little bit dirty. Well, don't just stand t...

I burned the roof of my mouth on pizza over the weekend. Apparently, that wasn't good enough for me, because I just cut the same place with a FUCKING cheeto! Yay, I bleed too! Speaking of blood, Derek FREAKED me out yesterday. He was in the bath and he goes, I think I hurt my mouth, cause when I spit it looks red. I quickly check out his mouth, which appears to be in good condition, and I tell him to stop spitting. This is my solution apparently, I don't see anything, so just stop doing it and somehow it will be all right. This time it actually worked that way. I went back into the bedroom and explained to Ben what Derek was saying, and he was like "well, he did just have those nerds"....cherry nerds....DUH! No he didn't say DUH, that was me. I am not exactly rational at this point, and I was like.....Derek, you can not have red candies, if you are gonna make me think you are bleeding. He was like..."I didn't remember." How can I blame him when I did...

New CDs I must have, when I have the money, or if people are cool for my birthday in like 2 1/2 months. Hint, hint, BROAD hint. Everywhere I read, I am hearing about the Garden State soundtrack. I've not even seen the movie and I already feel like I NEED the soundtrack, plus you can't really go wrong with soundtracks, you get a little bit of everything. Madonna - Like a Prayer - Stupid BITCH Rose stole this from me and I have yet to replace it. Not my favorite, but I REALLY love the Prince duet on it, that isn't on anything else. Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth. I know I keep writing about this, but it is kinda astounding that he is even coming out with more stuff at all. It had been QUITE awhile, and I figured it was over. Avril Lavigne - Newest? Whichever one has "So much for my Happy Ending" and "Home" on it. I have her first and I actually like most of it, so I outta get the new one. Which bring me to the last, but definitely NOT least one Black Eyed Pe...

Am I the only one who thought that Buffy last night was like watching a train wreck? I was so pissed off by Spike and Buffy getting it on (not really sure they weren’t just dry humping, unless she is so super powerful she can do it with her leather pants on. If so, show me how. *grin*) that I was cussing and bitching for most of the show. I am sure the boyfriend is so amused. Not only do I make him watch Buffy, but I also subject him to my ranting. It’s grody! So, very grody, I can’t even say. Plus, sex with a vampire is WRONG and not even possible, one would think. Don’t you need blood to get a hard-on? I kept trying not to look at the screen, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. Everything else was good. Willow is going very bad, very quick, I am sure. Anya never ceases to make me laugh. She is such a FREAK! Now if only they would stop the whole Buffy and Spike getting it on thing, I would be all set.

While out this weekend, I found out that someone else I know IRL is reading this. Hi there! Glad to know that it’s catching on. I’d return the favor and read your LJ, but I don’t know where it is, so no dice. She told me that of course she reads it. I actually post more than twice a week. Yeah, I am outta control. I post all the time. Just can’t seem to stop. It was nice to know it’s appreciated that I post so much. And also nice to know that I am not the only one out there thinking, DAMMIT people, why won’t you post something new? *grin* It’s always good to know you aren’t alone.

29 Activities and the Calories They Consume Activity and Calories per Hour 1. Making mountains out of molehills 500 2. Running around in circles 350 3. Wading through paperwork 300 4. Pushing your luck 250 5. Eating crow 225 6. Flying off the handle 225 7. Jumping on the bandwagon 200 8. Spinning your wheels 175 9. Adding fuel to the fire 150 10. Beating your head against the wall 150 11. Climbing the walls 150 12. Jogging your memory 125 13. Beating your own drum 100 14. Dragging your heels 100 15. Jumping to conclusions 100 16. Beating around the bush 75 17. Bending over backwards 75 18. Grasping at straws 75 19. Pulling out the stoppers 75 20. Turning the other cheek 75 21. Fishing for compliments 50 22. Hitting the nail on the head 50 23. Pouring salt on a wound 50 24. Swallowing your pride 50 25. Throwing your weight around 50-300 (depending on your weight) 26. Passing the buck 25 27. Tooting your own horn 25 28. Balancing the books 23 29. Wrapping it up at day's end 12 If on...

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow jumping over a barb wire fence? A: Udder destruction

After my fantastic trip out for the night, (Two Friday’s in a row, I have been able to escape) I figured the boy deserved some porn watching. After ComedySports , a porn star signing my boob , and Coffee, I thought the boy deserved some porn. We hadn’t really had time to watch the ones we bought for his birthday. It was a quest for porn and then I lost interest apparently. I only needed to buy it, not watch it. *grin* The plan was to spend our Saturday night watching porn and getting drunk. Drunken sex is fun! It was slightly derailed by some of my favorite girls , but it was fun. We just did it on Sunday instead. Now a little rant…..I HATE it when people say they like porn, cause they think it is funny. That’s great for you, I guess. I like porn, because at some point, I am getting laid. Or amusing myself, whichever works best at the time. I have no qualms about liking porn. I used to watch them with my roommates and they would always downplay the whole thing. They would make fun of i...

Dammit Blink 182 It's alright to tell me what you think about me I won't try to argue or hold it against you I know that you're leaving you must have your reasons The season is calling and your pictures are falling down The steps that I retrace the sad look on your face The timing and structure did you hear he fucked her? A day late a buck short I'm writing the report On losing and failing when I move I'm flailing now And it's happened once again I'll turn to a friend Someone that understands Sees through the master plan But everybody's gone And I've been here for too long To face this on my own Well I guess this is growing up Well I guess this is growing up And maybe I'll see you at a movie sneak preview You'll show up and walk by on the arm of that guy And I'll smile and you'll wave we'll pretend it's okay The charade it won't last when he's gone I won't come back And it'll happen once again You'll turn t...

I was thinking about the boy not feeling guilty and of course, this led me to the thought that maybe he wouldn't feel guilty if he cheated on me. I know, I am FUCKING crazy and I don't think he has, I am just worried that I would never find out. Jake cheated on me with someone, and I only found out cause someone else told me. I, in turn, cheated on all my boyfriends after that, before we got back together and I got pregnant. I cheated on him after that too, but he also cheated on me, so I am not really counting that. Something I never told anyone, is that I even cheated on Paul, who I thought I loved. He was already out of town, but I didn't know it then, so I guess it counts. I was pissed and hurt, cause I hadn't heard from him. And we might not have actually been "going out", so maybe that doesn't count. I don't know the rules. I've NOT cheated on Ben, though. He is special and I can't imagine doing that to him. I look at other guys, but not ...

Waited and waited for them to play the new Black Eyed Peas song yesterday on KDUK. Took forever, and when they did, they called it “Don’t mess with my heart”. I’m thinking that it is prolly “Don’ fuck with my heart” on the album, it wouldn’t surprise me anyways. These are the same people who brought us “Let’s get retarded” and then turned it into “Let’s get it started” for radio play. I do love me some Fergie, though. She was Stacy on Kids Incorporated a long time ago. I think it was on Disney and I loved it. So much so that awfully enough, I could still sing the opening song. Kids Incorporated. K-I-D-S…ok, sorry, I’ll stop. She terribly cute and I know people are going to be like…You suck, cause you only started loving the Peas once she joined the group. They are right, I like girl’s voices, nothing wrong with that. They might even accuse me of being mainstream. Not really a surprise, people, I am TERRIBLY mainstream. I used to have a Korn album, and even people who LOVED Korn would t...

Hinge Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Billy Bob, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Billy Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot. Billy Bob replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!" "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Billy Bob went to the back room to find it. From the backroom Billy Bob yelled, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?" To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

Ok, so I might have more time later for more pressing posts. Had a LOT of thoughts this morning in the shower. I try to sing in the shower, because then I have to think of the next line and then I can’t think strange thoughts. Not necessarily bad thoughts, although they can lead there. Stomach was being weird again, so I thought I would take a little test. Nothing. So my stomach is being weird all on it’s own, oh and I smell like a hooker. I am trying out 2 scents before I buy one. Maybe some of you will be able to help. Frangipani, or Sweet Patchouli with Vanilla? Thought I would give you all something to laugh about. This is the extent that me and my fav co-worker go to so we don’t have to have lunch with the talker. From: Me To: Co-Worker I was thinking I might say something about you wanting to take me to lunch and then say something about thinking that you want to talk to me about something. Hopefully, she will understand it is personal. What do you think? From: Co-Worker To: Me I...

Hey, I was so sappy when I was growing up. It's all about the beautiful love songs. Deal...*grin* Crazy For You Madonna Swaying room as the music starts Strangers making the most of the dark Two by two their bodies become one I see you through the smokey air Can't you feel the weight of my stare You're so close but still a world away What I'm dying to say, is that (Chorus:) I'm crazy for you Touch me once and you'll know it's true I never wanted anyone like this It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss I'm crazy for you, crazy for you Trying hard to control my heart I walk over to where you are Eye to eye we need no words at all Slowly now we begin to move Every breath I'm deeper into you Soon we two are standing still in time If you read my mind, you'll see (Chorus) It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you And you know it's true I'm crazy, crazy for you

For now. I think I caught up on all my "want to be" posts. At least so far. *grin*

I was feeling super wobbly yesterday. My legs felt like I had drunk about 5 double rum and cokes, but I hadn't drank one. I kept going down the stairs with this wierd sense of fatalism..I am gonna fall down the stairs. I was a little shaky too. Maybe it had something to do with how fucking pissed off I was. I don't know. Last night wasn't awful. Guy friend was super careful not to piss me off. (sure I am the crazy bitch in at least someone's mind) He brought over whiskey, which is prolly why my head was pounding this morning. I only had two weak drinks, but whatever. I must stick to my rum and cokes. And boyfriend decided that he should stay the night, with only minimal cajoling from me. I think that might be what made it bearable. I knew I would have time with him after J left, so it was ok. I welcome pain apparently, because last night I figured I would ask the boy if he ever envies guy friend because he is single and doesn't have to deal with a crazy girlfriend. ...

I go to lunch and cry a little. It was just too much and I am a crier, as much as it disgusts me. While getting water at the coffee bar, I see EUPHORIA chocolate covered Oreos. I figure I should see how much they are and bring them home for my sweet boyfriend who puts up with me, even if I am a pain in the ass. I try to grab on from the clip and I pull too hard and cut my fucking cuticle on the clip beneath it. At that point, I decided I should just fucking buy them, since I was maimed in just trying to look for them. I don't even LIKE oreos, Goddamit! My finger was so gimpy yesterday with the band-aid, that I could type right. I have removed the band-aid just so I can type, at risk of more injury. "Cock it!" *grin*

Can’t make comments today. Blogger is down for some reason or another from 4:00 to 4:30 PST…..umm, isn’t that Pacific Standard Time? Wouldn’t that mean that at 4:45, I should have been able to at least make a fucking comment? Apparently not. Now it is telling me some crap about being out of service until 7:00 pm. Don’t they know I go home by then. I am totally backdating these posts for yesterday, motherfuckers! *grin* And now Blogger is working and it not fucking 7:00...so whatever. I have more stuff to share about my really crappy day on wednesday, so never fear, the angst will be back shortly.

Don't Phunk With My Heart Black Eyed Peas No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart (Yeah) No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart I wonder if I take you home Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) I wonder if I take you home Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) Girl, you know you got me, got me With your pistol shot me, shot me And I'm here helplessly In love and nothing can stop me You can't stop me cause once I start it Can't return me cause once you bought it I'm coming baby, don’t got it (don’t make me wait) So let’s be about it No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart Baby, have some trustin', trustin' When I come in lustin', lustin' Cause I bring you that comfort I ain’t only here cause I want ya body I want your mind too Interestin’s what I find you And I'm interested in the long haul Come on girl (yee-haw) (come on) I wonder if I take you home Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) I wonder if I take yo...

Background on this. I heard this from Launch one day after my Gretchen Wilson song was over. Launch likes to just play songs after the ones you pick, based on them. So, it is a country song, but I want to laugh so badly everytime I hear it. Especially the part about.. She's such a pretty thing, she don't know anything, ain's gonna tell her that she's outta her mind . Not nice to think about Jake's wife that way, but she really has no clue yet. Wait until she gets pregnant. At least it has lasted longer than his last marriage. *grin* The Bride Trick Pony The day is finally here There's flowers everywhere The guests are waiting with sweet anticipation As I look down the aisle the preacher starts to smile Church bells are ringing and the organ is playing I'm so overcome that I could cry I'm so happy I'm not the bride She's such a pretty thing She don't know anything Ain't gonna tell her that she's outta her mind The preacher asks the que...

WooHoo! I am number 1 on Yahoo search for Lop-sidedness. Hey, we all got to have something. *grin*

1.) I just got junk mail that says look and feel 25 again…..That’s a little ironic, considering I am only 24. Why would I want to look older? Like I am really gonna look much different in 3 short months. 2.) I was looking for something earlier and this is the help I get. My helpful boss earlier today.…it’s there, we just looked at it, remember? No I don’t remember, but I can clearly see that it is not there. Thank you for thinking I am just stupid and can’t find it. I really appreciate that. /sarcasm 3.) Talking last night about something or other when I realized that the boy doesn’t feel guilty, hardly ever anyways. I mentioned this to him, and he was like…I don’t see the point in feeling bad over something that is already done. I looked at him and I was like, that must be nice. I feel guilty 90% of the time. I like it….no, I don’t like it, but I do it anyways. He looked at me and was completely shocked. I was like, yeah, that is me. I was a little shocked that he doesn’t really “do” ...

My mom sent me an animation of my niece, Kylie. She is so cute, but my mother isn’t wonderful at it yet and it looks choppy and I would love the picture, if it would stop moving. Looking at it makes me a little sad and envious, unfortunately. I am not above the envy. It’s bugging me, I should be happy for my little sister and how well her and my mom are doing with this baby. But, I can’t help but think about how little my son knows his grandma. In all honesty, I wouldn’t have lived with her, even if we had become closer during the process. But I am not sure we woulda grown closer. I think, at that point, she was still a little too heavy on the drugs and now she isn’t. So she becomes cool mom and cool grandma. I want to be happy that my sisters have this wonderful mom in their lives, but I wish I had had the same wonderful mom all of the time and not just when she wasn’t tweaked out of her mind. Does that make sense?

Wild Horses The Sundays Childhood living is easy to do The things that you wanted I bought them for you Graceless lady, you know who I am, You know I can't let you just slide through my hands Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away, Wild horses, Couldn't drag me away... I watched you suffer a dull aching pain Now you decided just to show me the same No sweeping exits or offstage lines, Can make me feel bitter or treat you unkind Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, Couldn't drag me away... Faith has been broken and tears must be cried, Let's do some living (oohh) after we die Wild Horses, couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away Wild, wild Horses, we'll ride them someday* Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday.

I can finally see that people access my little blog here occasionally because of searches. However, this is a little too specific of a search for me... "desiree's desire and eugene and oregon" It's not like my name is common, and I can see the obvious relationship between Desiree and Desire, but still. So, I can only conclude that someone is screwing with my mind.. "the bun is in your mind." - Meatwad Whatever the case may be, I am just excited I can see what people are searching for. YAY!

Decided that I should stay up a little late last night. It was nice for the boyfriend, I am sure. Thought I would just deal with being tired, but it puts me too close to tears. Maybe it was my boss yelling at me first thing this morning, or telling me that this company can’t do this, and that I have it wrong. Maybe it is people who seem so damn confused when I am talking to them. Or maybe it is my boss who will stand behind me when I am trying to figure something out and I am thinking out loud and I say maybe it's this, and she goes, there is NO way it is this...Thank you for talking to me like I am stupid, when we both know that you are the one who can't remember simple things from one day to the next. Like how important it is not to snap at people for no reason, and not apologize later cause it makes you look dumb, or maybe you are dumb and just don't get that you have NO SOCIAL SKILLS. Sometimes I think, it can’t be everybody, which means I must be dumb and bad at explai...

Went to get coffee, again. I LOVE Coffee. Same surfer guy, he switched places before we pulled up though. So, we got some girl. Then we hit the Dari-Mart drive thru. I had sweats on, so I didn’t want to get out. It’s lovely that we can do that in this day and age. Brought donuts home for adults, almost gave one to the children, until I realized that they had run off with my ID and my bus pass and it was lost in the bedroom somewhere. Boy they had fun finding it. My child was all like…I didn’t do it. He never does it. I believe that, really. /sarcasm. I gave him a ream of shit. I don’t care if you didn’t do it, you watched it happen. Did most of the mountain of dishes, it was fun. Had a relatively uneventful day after that, besides all the sex. *grin* Buffy last night was funny and strange. Willow is getting crazier everyday. Making them all forget who they were. It was pretty funny in parts, because of the forgetting. Like Spike thinking his name was Randy, and thinking Giles was his d...

Made plans with A to get together for Scrabble-type playing. And do some shopping. Not enough, it turns out. I left a few things out that I could have used. OOPS! For once, I actually went under my budget. It was while shopping, that I actually uttered the words…”I am gonna blog about it.” I was talking about my eel-eating. And now I have blogged about it, so I was right. We went to Dutch Bros. For coffee and I noticed that same boy was there the night before, when Karina was like…yay, we are ordering coffee from a crotch. It is so like that, if you are on the other side, you can only see a crotch. It was Surfer boy, which I am gonna call him forever. Both guys there flashed their abs at A, but all I got was crotch. Not sure who got the better end of the deal. *grin* Went home and decided that we would make pizza soon. Sorry about the damn video game addiction that is rampant in my house right now. Eventually, I will get over my addiction with Crash Team Racing. It’s so much fun to thr...

Finally got out of work and headed to 7-11 to meet up with Karina. Bought cigarettes, I feel weird not buying things when I am hanging out outside a store. Someone else was waiting as well. I had no idea he was waiting for the same person and so when he smiled at me, I was like…I don’t know you, don’t smile at me. I don’t look happy, or excited when I am walking around by myself, it cuts down on the crazy people talking to me. So, I was standoffish and then realize that I will kinda get to know this person. I just thought it was funny and strange. Headed to her house, saw a very interesting DVD. Headed out to the sushi station, by way of another friend, no luck there. So, it was just me and Karina, and Magenta . Too fun. Luckily, they had chicken dishes, cause I am not so adventurous. *grin* I did try the Eel. It was very flaky and not tough. It was different. Tasted like normal fish to me, but it was still Eel. I am just so excited with myself that I even had that amount of guts. I li...

Labor Day (It's A Holiday) by Black Eyed Peas [Ooh....Ooh....haaaaaah]When I stepped in the room I bring the heat like the month of June crank the volume make the bass go boom wile out like we some wild baboons [ooh, ooh] we go bananas to the tune I wanna throw bows gimme elbow room (move nigga) when im out my cacoon im ready to consume let's hit the saloon cuz... Its a holiday pardon me as I celebrate and thats the way we do it we get a lil loopy off the ignorant fluid and act a lil stupid just in case u didnt knew it and thats just how we do it don't ask why we do it thats just the way it be lovin double Ds up at the ad when i party in hollywood VIP I don't understand s.t.o.p, cuz We partay forever 'n' get down together we dont stop-no 'n' we dont quit lets get it goin cuz you know we gon' celebrate cuz its a holiday I dont work today or the next 3 days so lets celebrate! cuz its a holiday i dont work today, naw! so pardon me as i celebrate [ooh,o...

Borderline Madonna I don't want to be your prisoner So baby won't you set me free Stop playing with my heart Finish what you start When you make my love come down If you want me let me know Baby let it show Honey don't you fool around Just try to understand I've given all I can 'Cause you got the best of me Borderline feel like I'm going to lose my mind You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline Borderline feel like I'm going to lose my mind You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline Keep on pushing me baby Don't you know you drive me crazy You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see Then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay, but there's something I've just got to say Just try to understand, I've given all I can, 'cau...

I put on an old bra today. I haven't worn it since I got my new ones, and I think I may NEVER wear it again. It hurts, and keeps rubbing on the backs of my arms, cause it is lame and doesn't fit right. I think I might take it off the minute I get off the bus and you all know how wierd I am about the boobies being so close to air. It's one thing in my backyard, or front porch, or even when it's only you and a friend and you are trying to tan, but you just keep looking at her boobs and trying...... OOOPS. Did I just type that ? *wicked grin* Um, she took her top off first, in my defense, I didn't ask her too. I just followed suit.

I realized that I am not so full of angst anymore. I used to be. All teenage girls prolly are at some point. I was more so than most. I think I was either agonizing over boys or home or else being annoyingly bouncy and excited. One extreme to the other, right? Some examples for you, I was all set to do the “I am a better mother than I should be post” and basically lambaste my mother, but I didn’t feel angsty enough for it. I still have some ideas and a title even sitting in my list, but it’s just a draft and not really fleshed out. Maybe I will get it out there someday, since my wonderful sister gave me permission to say whatever I want without getting pissed off. She is TOO cute. I loved her comment. Other example, I just read that NIN is coming out with a new album next month, With Teeth, is what it is called. I am more than likely going to buy it, although I don’t listen to my NIN CDs much these days. I’m just not pissed enough, and when I am pissed, I listen to Eminem, or Bikini Ki...

I have been having some hard times lately, typing my passwords. I keep fucking them up. Not sure why, but my sausage fingers might have something to do with it. *grin* Maybe it is more that I am going too fast and get ahead of myself. It’s not like you can see the password as you type, like normal stuff. I fuck up on typing all the time and have to go back and fix it. I just delete everything to, I don’t move the cursor and make it easy to fix. Fuck no; I must go back through half the sentence to fix one part. So, it shouldn’t surprise me that I am fucking it up. And I keep screwing up with my spelling. I want to finish off "though" with a "t", and I want to spell anonymous like anonymouse. AHH! What the hell is wrong with me that it could actually affect my spelling. I don't do punctuation and sentence structure and all that writing crap well, but I always had my spelling. I can't stand it, I just can't stand it.

Went home the other night and needed to watch my tape for the day. I tape 2 soap operas everyday. I have five different tapes labeled Monday – Friday. I need to watch them before the same day of the next week rolls around. I wasn’t able to watch them much last weekend due to working and going out. I came home Tuesday and watched what I could while Ben made dinner. I went into the bedroom at one point and put my tape in, and then he came in and I was like. Damn, you’re done. He made fun of me a little for it, and I tried to explain that no, I didn’t mean..Damn, I don’t want to hang out with you, but I need to catch up and you hate the soap operas. He says, well, the logical thing to do would be to stop watching them. I’ve had a weird week and I was like….well, when you don’t get enough sleep cause you stay up too late on the Internet, the logical thing to do would be to stop fucking around on the Internet. He looked at me, and he was like, I’m not tired everyday, and I said, well, I don...

One Voice Brandy I had a dream, a crazy vision It may sound strange this intuition But it was true beyond description And somehow I knew that it was real When I saw One sky above, there is just one source of love If I've got one chance, one choice I'll sing it from the heart One song, one voice I've seen the fires of deep division The hearts of stone, the cold ambition But I have found my sacred mission To live in this world and still believe That there is One sky above, there is just one source of love If I've got one chance, one choice I'll sing it from the heart One song, one voice A song that heals A melody of reason and freedom With words that will speak for the weak The hopeful and the strong Sing it for everyone Cause there is one sky above There is just one source of love If I've got one chance, one choice I'll sing it fron the heart One song once voice Yes there is one sky above One source of love If I got one chance, one choice So sing it from the ...

Good To Be Alive DJ Rap Don't crucify if I feel alive It's a natural high and I'm satisfied Absolved from sin I called the devil from within He told me live my life Don't let them criticise It's good to be alive Sometimes I wonder how I survived And in my minds eye When you're low no-one seems to know A fallen angel tonight I feel no shame when I'm high It feels so good must be right It feels so good inside Inside I'd love to love you but I'm too impure an angel X3 I'd love to love you Don't compromise You don't live my life 'Cos l don't judge you When i look in your eyes lt's good to be alive Sometimes I wonder how I survived And in my mind‘s eye When you're low no-one seems to know A fallen angel tonight I feel no shame when I'm high lt feels so good must be right It feels so good inside Inside I'd love to love you..

I just found a super cool blog. I love clicking links, and seeing people's friends, and then clicking on their blogs and seeing their friends. It is amazing. So, here is a new one for you. I am so gonna put a link up here. I am so amused by this blog already. Hope you all have fun. Also, noticing that I ain't getting no comments lately...yes, I just broke a ton of rules regarding English there, comment on it, if it bugs you. No seriously, just wondering if you people are bored or don't think I respond. I don't always respond on the comments, usually I comment to the e-mail address unless there isn't one and then I comment on the comments. And I did change my email address where I get comments. I hope everyone had realized that. I am not spam, I am D.Shewhoshallnotbenamed@gmail.com. I thought it was appropriate, considering I wanted to be semi-anonymous and my old e-mail address doesn't do that. Anyhow, hope this clears matters up. So FUCKING comment, ok? *grin*

Meanwhile, I am re-reading Lestat while my child is being a bible thumper. Can you believe it? It's kind of ironic. The boy noticed, almost right away, my shorter post on my barbell. I lifted my shirt when I got home and looked at it and looked at him and did that a couple of times, before he was like...that's shorter, huh? He is so SMART! *grin* Ordered Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted: Caught in the Act with Dr. Tran for $12.00. WOOHOO! So happy I can't stand it. Too bad it can't get here today. It will be more like two weeks before I get it. :( Yay, Dr. Tran "I'm only 5 years old." "You lie." "You said a bad word." and Muledick. "Can you eat it?" "Yeah." "Is it Muledick?" "Yes!" One question later, he figures it out. Oh good lord, that was awful, in a good way.

Derek started talking to me about the bible on the way to school this morning. All about the Pharaoh and his people, and of course, Passover. I guess I shoulda been prepared, since it was just Easter. I wasn't, though. I listened as he talked about how they put blood on their doors and then God would pass that house. He kept going on and on about God. I was a little worried, cause blood can be scary, so I told him something about it just being a story. He was like..."What? It's ancient!" Pretty convinced that it is the total and complete truth. So I tried the whole..Well, some people believe it, but he was still convinced that is the complete truth. It's funny, everything he learns at school quickly becomes gospel at my house, but I don't know anything. His teacher said that pineapples grow on trees and Ben was like, Um, no they don't. So he had to say something about it to the teacher. I tried to explain why there are eclipses the other day. Tried to expl...

Dave Matthews Band Angel I call you up, you pick up You call my bluff, on the cards of love You hold to close your hands to your chest I can't read your eyes, but I confess It's lonely far from you Even when you're right by me It's only why I wait for you to take my hand Why do I beg like a child for your candy? Why do I come after you like I do I love you Whatever you are I swear You'll be my angel You I play my cards best I can But I lose my luck when you're not here My darling heart, won't you please give in I may be strong but I want you back again When you're not here love, it's hard to pretend It's all alright again When you're not here love it's hard to pretend It's all alright...still Why do I beg like a child for your candy? Why do I run after you like I do I love you Whatever you are I swear You'll be my angel You Watch the deck, count your cards Makes no sense, that I'm always losing When you're gone Why do I b...

If I had it all Sometimes I can't move my feet it seems As if I'm stuck in the ground somehow like a tree As if I can't even breathe And my screams come whispering out As if nobody can even see me, like a ghost Sometimes I can't see myself sometimes Then again if I were a king, If I had everything If I had you and I could give you your dreams If I were giant size, on top of it all Then tell me what in the world would I sing for If I had it all Sometimes I feel lost As I pull you out like strings of memories Wish I could weave them into you And I could figure the whole damn puzzle out Then again, if I were a king, If I had everything If I had you and I could give you your dreams If I were giant size, on top of it all Tell me what in the world would I go on for If I had it all I could take anything If I had no greed to pay Only the poison thats tainting the clean Then nothing Remembering times Much younger than me now When my breath was light When the world raised me up k...

Ben is my voice of reason when I get all over-sensitive and butt-hurt by perceived criticism. It really is all a matter of perspective. I went home with my.."I'm the worst mother ever" thoughts and explained my thoughts to him. He was like, you know, it all depends on your values and goals as a parent. Just because I don't make him eat things doesn't make me a bad mother. I don't think people who have different values then me are bad parents, so why should I think I am because I don't do things like them? Everyone does things differently. I was all set to come in today and defend my position even further, but I am so done with this. I even wrote out this whole complicated thing about my role models as parents and how I really have no where to go but up from how I was raised, but I don't feel like going into it all. I was all set to just tell everyone and then I was like, I don't feel like it. I don't need to color my little sister's perspec...

Got up, went to retrieve the boy. Got coffee and smokes for A, so I got to ride around, drinking coffee, and smoking. I love it! Got to T’s house amid my child’s refusal of sandwich crusts. Not just that of course, because he had to have something special and then didn’t eat it. My child has no fear and will ask adults for anything. Unfortunately, he can be quite cute and most adults give him what he wants. I’m not bragging here, because I know this could cause a few problems later on and some now, obviously. I have to apologize to you though, T. Cause the boy is a very picky eater and he is surrounded by me and Ben, who are both fairly picky eaters. I don’t make him eat things he doesn’t want, although I do make him try them. One of the things that I so appreciated in my mom was that she wouldn’t make me eat things that she knew I hated. I never had to eat the chili with stewed tomatoes, and while I understand the frustration involved in trying to get him to eat something he doesn’t w...

Everything actually went as planned Saturday night. No one could be more shocked than I. Went home, put on the makeup, put on a built – in bra shirt. It was cute, if a little more revealing than I am used to. Also, the whole boobies being closer to the outside world was a little weird. Ate at IHOP, waiting for Nat to come in, knowing my luck. Didn’t happen, yay. Headed to the Duck and drank a bunch. I am the quickest drinker, I swear. Double rum and coke, Dead hooker under the bed (Don’t call her that!), whiskey sour, and a single rum and coke, plus half of A’s single. Drank outside, so smoking could be done. I decided to make people think that I was flashing A. I pulled up my shirt to reveal my built-in bra and she started laughing. I gotta wonder how many people saw from the back and actually thought I flashed her. At that point, I needed to pee so bad, we had this beautiful idea that we would hit the public restrooms downtown so we could both go. They are not open at night, apparent...

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mom: I'm n...

I just took about a 50 minute lunch break. I thought it would be longer, but I was in and out of High Priestess in like 5 minutes. It was beautiful. I went in, said I am helpless, meant hopeless, and I have no idea how long it is or how wide, but Georg told me to come back and get it downsized length-wise. Now I know it is a 12 Gauge, ½ inch barbell. Thought it would cost me about 25 dollars again, but for some reason I forgot that I only had to pay for the post, as opposed to the whole barbell. It kinda made me want to buy more jewelry for my ears, but I don’t know if I even had enough. Even with the 15% off coupon from the weekly. It cost me $8.50. Having this perverse thought that maybe I should not tell Ben and see how long it is before he realizes that it is shorter. This of course, really only sets him up for failure, unless he is up close and personal. Like there is time for that when I get home at 8 pm and he leaves at 10 pm and there is bath time, bed time and eating somewher...

Going out tonight, y'all. Might not be able to for awhile again, so I am excited. VERY, VERY excited. I get to go see Spike and Mike's sick and twisted festival of animation. YAY! And maybe have Mexican food and a ride home. And a babysitter. I can't wait. Only 39 more minutes. ACK! Maybe have some drinks at The Duck. Maybe see the guy friend who we haven't talked to in forever. He SUCKS, and I plan to tell him so. He never called and apologized for not showing up at the barbecue and just because he doesn't get laid when he comes to my house, doesn't make it ok for him not to call or come over in months. What an ASS! And then maybe, taint A with "Shaun of the Dead.", unless she manages to escape somehow. Hopefully I can stay awake, stayed up late last night and had to get up early. Wish me luck on staying up. So at this point, I wish you all a fun rest of your weekend, and all that happy crap. *grin*

You Are Very Open Minded About Sex When it comes to sex, you're fun and free spirited You're into a lot of things - and curious about most others Totally non judgemental, you never dismiss someone's sexual preferences Your motto is "Don't knock it til you've tried it" How Open Minded Are You About Sex? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Scored 50% Correct You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

You Are a Life Blogger! Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible. What kind of blogger are you?

You are 67 % Cancer> How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Funny thing is the "You know you're from Denver...." is close to some of these. You Know You're From Eugene When... You inadvertently own one or more pieces of tie-dye clothing You have ever owned or traveled cross-country in a VW van You used to play hacky-sack but had to give it up because you developed an allergy to the bag material You understand the difference between cafe au lait and a latte You know how to pronounce "Allan Brothers" but you don't care You had to quit coffee You find yourself humming along with the Grateful Dead, whether you like them or not You can't always remember who among your friends is lesbigay and who is straight You know what lesbigay means and how to use it in a sentence You have friends who really are bisexual You own a hand drum or know a friend who owns one Men with short hair look kind of odd to you, but you're not sure why You have potlucks down to a fine art You think channeling was responsible for getting t...

You May Be a Bit Obsessive Compulsive ... Meticulous and detailed oriented, you have some irrational obsessions. Maybe it's your super neat closet or washing your hands a gazillion times. You probably know it's weird, but you just can't stop thinking about it. In fact, the more you think about your quirks, the more you have to do them. What Personality Disorder Are You?

That is my only wish right now people. I just want to see the ocean soon. I haven't went since I went with T & A and the kids. I had a blast, even though the sand took over all of the food. I don't need anything when I go to the ocean besides it and me. I always get in the water, too. Once I didn't, and I still regret it. I am a water sign and no where is it more apparent than at the ocean. I still remember my first glimpse and how it seemed to go on forever. Just that line between the water and the sky. It was amazing. Especially to someone from Colorado. I want to live by the ocean, but I can't. If I had a car, I would go once a month, but no car and every time we get to borrow Ben's parent's car, the provision is that we cannot take it outta town. I'm sad, cause it has been years since I got to go to the ocean. Anybody going soon who wants to take me with? Come on, I'll try not to talk to you to much. I'll even sit in the back so I can't b...

I say kids a lot, usually when I am only talking about mine. So, it should be kid, instead. I know. However, people who I hardly talk too have started asking me how my kids are doing. Not people I prolly say kids in front of. I guess it must be an assumption, along with how is school going? since I work at the bookstore. I haven't been in school for 3 years almost. But, this morning I was thinking about this and wondering why they think that I have more than one kid. Maybe I did say something, but maybe they just think it, and maybe next time I should be like..."I only have one kid, I just really let myself go after one. Why do I need to attract a man when I already have a kid?". Could you imagine people's faces? I think it would be funny as hell. Of course, I am prolly being over-sensitive, being a fat girl. They prolly don't think that way, but I think I always will. Thoughts such as, Did they say that because of how I look? Would they like me better if I wasn...

The child's cough is finally dying down. I am excited about this. I filled one of the prescriptions that doctor gave me. Kick ass cough syrup, from the pharmacist's reaction. She also gave me a prescription for Antibiotics and told me to fill it if he looked like he had a sinus infection. Ummmm! Hello, you are the doctor. I have heard bad things about giving kids antibiotics when they are not needed. So WTF? I asked how I would know and she was like, well, his eye will be gunky. That tells me alot. I mean, sure, it prolly would make his snot look funny as well. What is funny though? It is bright green, and his eye does have some gunk in it in the morning, but not even every morning. What really worries me though, is that he has been telling me that his ear gets clogged every so often and that he can't hear very well sometimes. So I think, ear infection, right? Still not something I am comfortable diagnosing. And the kid has not been acting like he is sick. No fever, no ache...

A couple thoughts on the boyfriend today. I've been acknowledged for being right an inordinate amount of the time recently. Don't know if he is having an off year, or if I am actually remembering things right. Did notice that he says, "you're right" and not "I'm wrong", if you ask him, he is never wrong. Teased him a little when he said I was right. I was like....what did you say? Can you say that again? He started too, and then I was like...I am just screwing with you. He thought I didn't really hear him. The other thought occurred to me the other morning, of course while I was getting in the shower. I don't know, either. I am finally laying this ghost to rest, I think. The thought that hit me was why do I even think about Paul anymore, when all that I was attracted to in him is present in my own boyfriend? They are both Pisces, both far more relaxed than the person I dated before them (Jake), and they are both rarely in a bad mood. That ...

Not something you all thought I would talk about, huh? Well, I'm not really gonna talk about it. I am really going to talk about South Park. Loved it, Ben agreed that Little League Baseball is that boring. I love how they didn't want to keep playing and they just thought that they would let the other team win, and the other team didn't want to win either. The other team, taunting South Park "We're gonna get creamed." And Butters, "Oh no." - just the way he said it was funny as hell, with his little voice full of dismay. Or Randy's need to beat people up. Sharon: "So don't beat him up, you could just go an watch the game like a normal parent." Randy: "I know you are just saying that." Sharon: "No, I really mean it." And boy did she mean it. I would be pissed to. I would not let my husband go to a little league baseball game if he was gonna heckle the little kids and beat up other parents. I think the best thing wa...

The Coffee girls named my double white chocolate mocha a Willamina. They are having a coffee-naming Friday apparently. They were going through the whole alphabet and I got W. It is strange because I know 2 Minas, one of which is a Willamina. They were also ruminating on Buffy when I got my drink. They were trying to remember Xander's name. I thought they meant his real name, so I was like....UMM, I don't know and then she was like..it's something with a X, and I was like..Oh, Xander. I am such a freak!

Pick a title, any title T & A, you already know this, don’t read if you don’t want too. I figured I would explain my only complaint about my flirting. After I was actually 21, I finally got to go out to the bar with the girls. It was so fun. Even though those bastards wouldn’t let us play pool right away cause some comic was trying to be funny. Finally got to play some pool, drink some drinks. T and M got to dance and then we decided the head to the bar near my house so that A could drink. She is such a good designated driver. You ROCK! Head to the Brick House and they are so lame, that they are closing early on a Saturday. Ok, whatever, so we go to the Hollywood Taxi (hey, it was the closest place) and start drinking there. Much fun is had, and all the sudden I notice that girls are kissing. So my drunk ass was like…what is going on? I want to kiss some girls, and I got involved. Since I couldn’t tie the cherry stem in a knot (I took out my barbell trying to do this), I had to at ...

I found one porn movie on my quest that had Jenna in it, that wasn't $50.00 DAMN dollars. It is kinda lame, but still, it's Jenna, for like 20 minutes of the 4 hours. I need quantity, not quality, apparently. Some people don't get why I like her. Sure, she is the typical blonde, big chested woman of porn, but she is different for me. I watched the one scene with her the other night, all by myself. (I told you all I was feeling horny) and realized why I like her so much. It's the noises, people. I love the noises. I am ALL about the noises. And not those hinky moaning noises that all porn stars make. Nope, she yelps. Sexy little yelps, like she can't help it, she is having so much fun. Maybe I like it because that is totally me. Moaning is all well and good, but I can't think straight enough to keep it to moaning. Never got any complaints though. Ok, maybe from my upstairs neighbor, but I knew him and he admitted that occasionally I would start him and his girlfr...

I am not the "normal" accountant if you can't tell. I have 11 piercings and have no objection to getting more. I am just running outta room *grin*. There are certain places I will not pierce. I have 9 in my ears. 1 in the cartilage, 2 daiths (sp?) - one in each ear, and 6 holes in the lobes. I have a tongue piercing and the aforementioned nipple piercing. I used to have my nose pierced, but took it out looking for work and lost the tiny jewelry. There went that one. My first was in my ears (of course) and when I was young. Young enough that my parents had to take care of them. They didn't and my ears got infected and I had to take the earrings out. I bugged my mom forever before she let me get them pierced again. I was 11, and she had my aunt do it, with a sewing needle. I can almost feel everyone, especially piercees, shudder at the thought. My cousin told me to squeeze his nose if it hurt and by the time she was done, I had him down on the table. Lesson - Don't ...

Hey, it's a song. From Cartman. So while I bitch and moan about my life a lot of the time, I don't really have it that bad for the most part. Hey it's ALL about content really. And angst content is too easy for me. But I had lunch today with 4 of my favorite people and it was glorious. Seriously, wonderfully glorious. I had planned to go with Tara as she is going on vacation this week and I might kill people without her here. So I figured we should go today. It was also payday, so Ben needed to come and get my paycheck so it will be cashed. So he came and sat with us. But before this even, A came and had a break with me and I invited her along. Then T called and came over as well. After lunch, I asked Tara if all my friends had crowded her out and if she had fun. She said of course, and that she loves my friends, cause they are so funny. And she is right, they are wonderful, funny friends. Some people are not so lucky. Me, I know wonderful people. And that makes me happy. H...

No big rants today people. Surprise, surprise. I must have got it all out when I went on break with A. Thanks for listening. *grin* Instead, I thought I would share how I woke up this morning. I woke up with my seven year old in bed with me. Not sure when he came in, or even how he managed to not get his head on the pillow, but instead was using me as a pillow. It was SO SWEET, I kissed his forehead and tried really hard not to wake him up when I got up. Then I thought about how little this happens anymore and how in a few more years, he won't dare to crawl into bed with me. It kinda makes me sad. On the other hand, in a few more years, he will be able to do everything to get ready for bed without me, which I won't miss. We've already started on the whole toothbrushing thing. Once he can turn on the water and have his own shower, I will be all set. I suppose the problem then will be convincing him to take a shower.

LIVING WILL I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma. Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't ca...