Random Thoughts

EDIT: After much consideration, I've decided to make this blog a bit more private...see I can't be sure my sisters won't see this and I don't want to ruin their lives more than our mom did. ___________________________________________ I can't even make up my mind. Was catching up on LJ today and it's made me more sad than bitchy. I think I might prefer sad to bitchy. When I'm bitchy I KNOW it's not helping but I can't seem to fucking stop. When I'm sad, well..shit I'm sad. I'll get over it. My mom has always been...well, an ostrich. Pretend there is not a problem and MAYBE there won't be. I'll admit I've followed this route on a few occasions, but NEVER to the extent that she did and STILL does. Before my sister came to visit, I thought that maybe I'd exaggerated how bad it really fucking was. I'm at least HALFWAY normal and capable, maybe my brain had made it worse than it was. It's not something I talk about frequ...

"The hallmark of placenta previa is bright red bleeding in the second or third trimester." No one knows this....ha ha, I lie. Jake knows this. I had an ENORMOUS amount of bleeding one time after intercourse while I was very pregnant. Like a "pool on the person you are on top of" amount of bleeding. Neither of us knew to be scared, I only knew that a LOT of bleeding occurred at that point, and I said nothing. Too afraid? Maybe. Part of me was completely reassured that since it was the worst time to get pregnant, nothing bad could happen. Part of me was scared as hell that the bleeding was my fault for taking that acid when I was pretty sure I was already pregnant. I was always prone to flights of fancy (read: Crazy) so I didn't worry too much (ha ha, right) when my brain was determined that I was pregnant. Instead, I went to Ben's 18th birthday and took the acid offered to me. And when I was REALLY pregnant, I had sex, like I'd been having sex already, th...