Random Thoughts

Utter calamity of course. And way TMI. You've been warned, all two of you who read this. So..last Saturday at the concert, I sat with Heather and made up my mind that I really DID have a yeast infection. The itchiness right around the vaginal opening was maddening and I had one applicator left from a previous bout with this shit. I started using that one and drug Ben with me to Fred Meyers to get more of this treatment. It seems to me that I used a shorter treatment before and it didn't really work for me. (I've come to find out that it might have worked, if I'd just waited a few days to see if the itchiness passed) So I bought the 7 day treatment. And spent the next 4 nights in complete uncomfortableness, hoping that I was laying still enough to keep the medicine "in there" and working. I even cried and made Ben go to sleep early on Sunday night, cause I was determined that I should have enough "sleep hours" to make the medicine work. I was pissed a...

First of all, I'd like to point out that I am about ten posts away from 2,000. I'd be over that, I'm sure, but I got all freaked out and deleted a bunch of work stuff awhile back. Second of all, I just decide that I should have the mac-n-cheese, boys returning home now the slightest of my worries since it is ten and I have not had dinner. Normally, I would be a raging bitch at this point, but I've had the rum, so I'm only slightly bitchy as evidenced by my hippie problem a few minutes ago. Third of all, I just decided that I would start watching "Gone With The Wind" because that would for sure bring the boys home. I start a movie they hate and they come home. It never fails. I was sad, no not sad, fucking DISMAYED to realize that while I saw that VHS of "Gone With The Wind" and thought, hell I should buy that, I did not at the time. My memory sucks so much I was POSITIVE this was a movie I owned, if only on VHS. But it's not there. =( I Not s...

I just searched my house for some suitable munchable that would not take a thousand hours to prepare.... and I can't find crap. Ben's mom has been to visit, which means the house has been invaded by Trader Joe's. I rarely have to see her but when she comes over to see Derek and Ben without me here, I can always tell, cause of the Trader Joe's stuff. Which involved black licorice this time. =( It smells bad when Ben eats it. The only thing I could say as I saw all the evidence of Trader Joe's? Fucking Hippies. I growled it all over the kitchen as I continued to find nothing worthwhile that wouldn't take an hour. Not that I hate Trader Joe's...I really like their selection of cheeses and I adore their truffles, but BLACK LICORICE? Does she hate me? Or just love her son, who likes the crap? Grr. If I knew how long Ben and Derek would be, I would make the macaroni and cheese that takes an hour, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the INSTANT I put it in the ove...

That subject up there has nothing to do with what I am going to write about, I just love that lyric line. I thought I would rant a little here about how my life is going right now. Home is good, my health is not. =( I'm going to the doctor Tuesday, cause we were all informed not to call in Monday, and I'm sure they need me enough to not have time to get out to Springfield, via bus, then back. This is a big thing, cause I hate my doctor. A bunch. But I'm FREAKING OUT. Thanks Dad, for the hypochondriac gene. Like I need more to worry about. My skin has always been a source of irritation, I don't have nice skin. It likes to get weird little irritations, boils, all sorts of things. I'm not even going to go into detail on what my problem is exactly, cause it's kind of gross, but I'm just so sad. =( One of my best favorite parts of skin has a LOT of irritation, and I'm afraid it's going to scar, and I think I just might die then. (yes, I'm being melodr...

I just realized that the last post is just screaming out "somebody validate me". "Somebody make me feel better about myself today." I really shouldn't need you to make me feel better. In all actuality, I should be able to pull myself outta the funk. Normally I can. Please just humor me, even if you feel like.... "Damn, she just keeps asking us to make her feel better." I would try and do the same for you. I hope I am not asking too much here. I have no idea, I do my damnedest not to have others help me. It gives me some pride to think that I can do anything by myself, but I don't think I can do this alone. Cause I just don't know.