Random Thoughts

I decided that I would clean since I am bored as crap. _______________________________________________________ My bookcase is officially in public sight. Took a damn long time, but it's done now. =) I have pictures, which I shall put up later. While taking out my books to move the bookshelf, I realized why I may have put them in the closet to being with. Quite a few "adult" books. Things I do not want Derek to see nor read. It's bad enough that I have Stephen King galore. I do not recommend he try reading that like I did at his age. Nightmares upon nightmares. Yet I still read them. LOL. What makes me happy is how many books I was like..oh yeah! That book rocks! I'm happy I can share them with people, even the ones that are a guilty pleasure, like the V.C. Andrews ones I haven't read yet. They stay on the bookshelf, the others are boxed. I have way too many, but I can't seem to get rid of them. And I have a LOT of advance reading copies, go figure. 5 years...

I realized the other day that not everyone actually knows as much about me as I thought they did. That might be the most confusing sentence I've ever written. I was listening to the Cranberries and thought of Derek. I was a wild teenager. I really cared very little about where my life was going, and I cared even less for all these "rules and regulations" that people thought I should follow. Things like going to school, or not sleeping outside on campus, or any other of my many transgressions. I was really a horrible teenager. I was very angry. At just about everything. I used to sit on the parking garage ledge sometimes and look over. Waiting to see if I would fall? I'm not sure. I guess I figured if that's what was going to happen it would. It's my idea of fate. I didn't really care if I lived or died, or what kind of life I would be left with if I didn't finish school, didn't start following rules, didn't start caring. All I cared about was h...