Random Thoughts

Well, I'm home. It's almost deathly quiet. If I knew when the boys would be back, I'd be tempted to pay for a pay per view horror flick, but if the kid gets back halfway through, I wouldn't be able to watch the ending. Cause I'm crazy like that and I restrict what the kid sees on TV. He'd like to watch a horror movie, but it's going to be awhile before I'll let him. He tends to have weird dreams (at least I passed something on to him) already, I'm not going to make them worse. I have to vent a little here. I've asked and asked Jake not to let Derek watch PG13 movies. Even if they don't seem scary or strange to us, they are rated that way for a reason. Yes, some really freaking cool movies are PG13. He'll get there in time and see them then. Or other cool, newer movies. I don't believe he'll look back on being 9 and think, "jeez, why couldn't my mom ever let me watch stuff that was too mature for me?" Maybe he will. B...

Next year, when the end of the fiscal year is on Sunday, that I DO NOT WANT TO WORK THAT DAY? All week it's been, well you'll have to do this and that on top of the normal work that I have to do. And it was made a HUGE deal of, cause it is the end of our year, so they like it to balance. I UNDERSTAND, but I'm still annoyed. Yesterday "this and that", became you have to do this and this too. I still came in today in a relatively good mood. I figured I could do it all if I just bust my ass, and I most likely still can, although I'm gonna have to cut corners. And no, I'm not fucking off right now when I should be working, I am on lunch and felt like ranting a bit before my head explodes. It seems like it's been one thing after another. First we lost something rather important (and I've given up finding it at this point. I already wasted like an hour looking for it. Stubborn much? Yes. Yes I am. I was SURE I'd find it but now I just feel stupid for...

Today I am 26 and 50 weeks and one day old. Which means in two weeks it will be my birthday. That's really what I was getting at, LOL. You know how people on TV are always having their birthdays forgotten? Not me, I inform people on an almost daily basis that it will be my birthday soon. There is no way they could forget. I look at birthdays like a special time for me. And I am all about me. Obviously. I hope the weather is like today on my birthday. I like rain in spurts. I like how fresh everything smells and I really hate it when it's too hot. I'm not sure how I was a summer baby, what with this hatred of heat. I work early that morning to get out of here early. Maybe go home and put some make up on and be lazy about getting ready. In any case, I will make it a good day. (I'm slightly embarrassed by this and NO ONE WILL MENTION IT EVER AGAIN, just so you know, but it's my blog and I feel the need to share.) Last night I spent entirely too much time checking out...

I always have plans Friday night. Not necessarily anything fun, but plans to do this or that. To fix up my blog, to add some pictures, to clean, basically to do pointless stuff. Last Friday I had Sidney's party, so I guess I had legitimate reason not to get anything done that night. Forgive me, but I had no real plan for this blog entry, just various little things. Do you ever feel like just stopping and hugging yourself and knowing that you have a good thing going? A good team? Either at work or at home? I feel that way right now, I really feel like we have a really good work team and that I can forget something and it will not be completely missed until it becomes a larger problem. Other people will "catch" me. I like not looking like an idiot and working with smart people helps that a lot. I feel like that at home now too. I was flabbergasted Friday when I saw Jesse, he acted like we'd never had a problem, and I'm ok with that. What I did not like was when he s...

And I'm not sure why. On one hand, I kind of feel like it's going to be forever before it gets here, and then I realize it's only slightly more than two weeks away. My only real plans are that Ariel is coming down (pending anything else getting in the way. *fingers crossed*) to baby sit as Derek will be leaving for Portland the week after that. I don't have to work that Friday, so I can actually go out that night. And then come home and hang out with Ariel. Like my own personal party, like the pizza hut pizzas. Other than that? That's all I got for now. Derek leaves the weekend after, so maybe I'll make people come here, though that doesn't work as well as it once used to. Maybe I'm too old to have a "party" per se? I'm gonna do something fun. That's all I'm sure about. Derek went out of town this weekend, so I got to go to Sidney's birthday party where I saw George and Marshall, and Dave(s). People who I pretty much only see at...

Someone earlier was talking about how you're not supposed to drink alcohol with diet drinks, cause the lack of sugar in the drink can cause you to get drunker faster by absorbing more of the alcohol into your system? What's so wrong with that? Oh yea, people like me who can't throw up. I could quite quickly give myself alcohol poisoning. =( Suck. I hate this idea, cause I've been using diet as a means to get rid of some calories. Smart, sensible people would just say stop drinking and they are probably right. But I've never made much sense and I'm not about to start now. In any case, one person was talking to the other about this and I over heard, so then one of them turns to the other and says..."No more skinny bitches". If only. Some skinny bitches piss me off. LOL I'm sorry, this is rubbing me a little raw today, so I don't think I'm coming across as funny, but this girl who's blog I read, who I used to know, was talking about how...

Ok, so mini-boss aside, this has not really been that bad of a week. First of all, my skin is becoming more normal, and I have my health. Just allergies are kicking my ass and boy are they. I'm tempted to take two fake Claritin, but it says all over the damn bottle not to. My eyes don't get as itchy, so that's a yay, but I wake up in the morning needing to clear my whole head out, and so I proceed to sneeze a million times. While I'm trying to be quiet and head out for work and let the boys sleep in. (fucking boys. LOL) I hate sneezing when I am trying to be quiet. Or sneezing on the bus when I don't have tissue. And then finding out later that I DID have tissue and didn't need to wipe it all over my jeans. =( Second of all, tomorrow is pay day, it's Wednesday so at the end of the day, I'm MORE than halfway there, tomorrow Derek goes to Portland, so I should have a nice quiet night alone with Ben, and I even have plans for the weekend. Third, I'm ...

Stupid Ben is always right by internet standards. Wikipedia gave us the pronunciation, so I suppose it's not necessarily right, but DAMMIT. I told him that I would like to be right at least once, and he should stop being RIGHT about everything. Unless it's his opinion and then he is always wrong anyhow. LOL. I told him that too. I've been pronouncing it as Mem. ------------------ LJ Friends Meme by coolerq • You must tell 6 people about this game. • Ben is the one that you love. • Jesse is one you like but can't work out. • You care most about Penis . • Penis is the one who knows you very well. • Penis is your lucky star. • Penis is the song that matches with Ben . • Penis is the song for Jesse . • Penis is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind. • and Penis is the song telling you how you feel about life Take this quiz This is actually surprisingly accurate, even though I ran out of things to type and just typed penis in. This is what I do when I can not...

Friday, in between my manic blog postings, Ariel called me. We managed to find enough to talk about for 45 minutes. Made me feel like I was back in high school when I would do things like that. Nowadays, I avoid that phone like I avoid talking to the talker at work. It was very nice to have someone to talk with while the boys were gone and before the Emmy's officially came on. After much talking about nothing much in particular, we figured out some birthday plans. YAY! I have PLANS. She has offered to come down on my birthday and baby-sit. I have the day after off, so that works out well for me. I can at least have dinner, and maybe a drink or two downtown before I head home. And then I'll get to come home and see Ariel! All in all, a pretty awesome birthday. It'll be like my own personal party, like those personal pan pizzas. Hopefully she won't run screaming the minute I get back. Derek has been something else lately. He did well at the Magic thing, which they didn...

The boys aren't back yet, so you get more of my inanity. They are having a grand time and called to let me know they weren't catching the bus home so they will be home later. Hoping to draw them home, much as the bus comes when you finally decide you can smoke a cigarette, I put on a horror movie. Since Ben hates them so much, I figure they'll be home any time now. In any case, I scanned all my horror movies, and I think I need more. The Grudge, well, it might be too much right now, and the rest sounded stupid. So I went for classic horror, and picked out a Nightmare on Elm Street one. I think paying for the full set was very smart of me. I thought about watching number 2, briefly, but then realized that I would be filled with loathing about ten minutes into it. Though I do like the bus scene. That's a freaky dream. 5 is rather cheesy, 6 is ok, New Nightmare is freaky, but I wanted something different than that. Number 1? Awesome and Johnny Depp to boot. But I've se...

I'm going to talk about poop. I really am. Don't read it if you don't want to. But I found this hilarious, so I had to share. Today, the urge came upon me and so I headed to the bathroom. First bathroom? Occupied, like usual. Second bathroom? Occupied, which was a little unusual. Third bathroom? The other stall was occupied, and once I sat down I realized that I could hear NOTHING from over there. Just tissue rolling to alert me SOMEONE was there. Which was when I became convinced they were trying to poop as well. They were waiting for me to finish peeing so they could poop. It could have been a poop off! Which is ridiculous and by that time I realized I did not even have to go anymore. I guess I have a problem pooping with someone else in the room. I shouldn't, as I do have a child, but it bothers me. So I gave up. About 20 minutes later it hits me again and I was like DAMMIT! I am going to poop. I went over to that first bathroom and two seconds before I got in view o...

I love me some Sublime. Not all of it, and mostly the hits, cause that's what I bought. But one I hadn't heard much on the radio might be my favorite, which maybe makes sense since it wasn't over played like much else on the radio. I really love "40 oz. to Freedom". That song just makes me want to sing along, cause it's awesome. How descriptive of me, ha! Ben hates Sublime. Which means I listen to it rarely. He considers it punishment when I put it on, so I just listen to it on my iPod, but I can't exactly sing along with it. I will mouth along with it. Which is probably pretty funny looking, but I like singing, even fake singing. I like "Saw Red" too, cause it has Gwen in the version on the greatest hits. Heather or Paul had two Sublime CDs, which I can't remember the name of either of. (Maybe I should buy more that I can only listen to occasionally. LOL) I liked those songs too, and I only realized this the other day when I heard "Bur...

I've been re-loving this song lately. So Unsexy by Alanis Morissette Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly One small sideways look and I feel so ungood Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father could Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily I'm 13 again am I 13 for good? I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved and for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind When...

Your Family Is 98% Dysfunctional Your family is more than a little nuts. And you definitely should think about moving on. This doesn't mean you need to completely cut your family out of your life... But it does mean you need to create a healthy support system of your own. One that doesn't involve your family. Even if you've already made a clean break from your past, it still may be haunting you. Checking in with a therapist from time to time is probably a good idea. Is Your Family Dysfunctional? Can I just say that I TOTALLY WIN! I guess. LOL. I said that I agree with them being political or religious nuts and that they have strong opinions, cause I get all those god emails, yet no one can take care of their kids. In any case, they do have strong beliefs. So I consider it true. I'm sitting here singing along with sappy country music, just cause I can! The boys are gone until 10:20 at the earliest, so I have a couple of hours to kill, or a lot of hours to kill, depends o...

BREAK TIME! Today has not been the Friday of fun that I thought it might be. I was SO excited to get to the end of the week, but I'm bored. Both my bosses are on vacation, and the mini-boss is micro managing. It's disheartening to EVERYONE and I can see how it plays out on their faces. Everyone is annoyed. She seems to think that in 4 days (before my boss gets back) that she can do a better job and WHIP everyone into shape. I almost mean whip literally. Seriously. She drives me bat shit crazy. She drives EVERYONE crazy. She walks around sniping at everything, and then before she leaves for the day, she comes down and she's like..well, if you need Cat to do this, then tell her. Just make sure she is being busy. I'M NOT THE BOSS AND I DON'T CARE. For all I care today, EVERYONE can go home early, and we can just leave the Office and Customer Service open to anyone. I'm SO tired. I'm sad for some people at work on top of it all. The new girl is trying to find a ...

(Again, I'm on lunch, no worrying. =)) So, a week later, it's my first band aid free day! I've been so afraid to not bandage it up, and it's really kind of a pain in the ass. At least one of those bandages performed an impromptu bikini wax. Which was a little painful, but I'm kind of thinking maybe that's the way I should go. I don't like the hair, but between ingrown hairs, boils, glands going hay wire and puffing up, I don't even want to think about the hair for fear of something else happening. I wonder if I could take a wax, or maybe I should just trim. Maybe I'm a trimmer? I like the idea of no hair, as I kind of hate my body hair, it's weird and thin, and just looks like I'm going half bald on my BODY. Which is stupid looking. Oh well. In any case, everything appears to have calmed down and I'm loving not having a band aid that reminds me EVERY time I move that I have weird skin. There is still a little hard bump underneath where th...

He's been trying to guilt trip me lately and using a LOT of always and never. The other day he said that since the Dollar store had things in there that were more than a dollar, ALL stores that say "dollar" in them are rip offs. False advertising or something? Except some of them are true. No amount of explaining made him believe it. Then when I argue about something, or think that he isn't quite on the up and up, he says "You NEVER believe me." It's hard to believe or take seriously, some things he says, so I guess he's right. Like when his throat stings when he breaths. These kind of things only happen right before he is supposed to go to bed. What do you do for throat stinging anyhow? I don't know. He tells me a lot that his chest hurts, and I think he might have indigestion, or heartburn, but I think he's convinced he is having a heart attack. He's NINE. There is no way he's having a heart attack, and I have no idea what they coul...

How is it that sometimes when I am listening to a song that I've listened to for years, I hear some random part of it, and it takes on a whole new meaning? This song came on my iPod when Ben and I were washing dishes and I could ALMOST hear the beginning. It took me about ten seconds to go, oh hell no, and run out to change it. Derek and NIN? Not so much. I'm so not censored. It's no wonder my kid doesn't like my music, he doesn't know it, cause it's all DIRTY. I'm a dirty girl. LOL. (JENN! I blame you for LOL, just so you know. *laughs*) I've been a little isolated recently. Just spending a lot of time with the boys and not much else. Sometimes it makes me sad, but then I realize that going out takes money, and I should not spend it all just cause I still have a little bit. Ha. I think summer is when I come out of my cocoon and actually want to go out more. Maybe it's cause it's warmer? I don't even know. Maybe it's cause it's my bir...

(I am at lunch, and therefore, not going to get fired. LOL.) A month later, I might actually be able to put enough time aside here to actually write about our "Not-the-mama trip", one of the few non-mundane areas of my life. I can actually write about something exciting and not just my thoughts. The mantra of the trip became "Jenn has band-aids". It's one of those great "you had to be there" moments. I think it's funny as hell, and still makes me smile when I think about band aids. We left on that Saturday (so long ago) fairly early. At least fairly early for me. I was presented with bacon cheese sticks! It was amazing. I do love me some bacon. We stopped for coffee where I was given the theological coffee cup. I got that one both times we hit Starbucks. Very weird. We stopped for Sushi at Sushiland, where Tara took a picture of Brandy and I, where it looks like I'm terrified. I'll have to see if I can't crop Brandy out, cause it was ...

I've been wondering for the past couple of days (in true "boss" fashion) how you can actually get across to someone that they can't keep fucking up when they don't really care. I'm not sure if stupid girl is trying to get fired, or what, but she really DOESN'T CARE. At all. And I know from dealing with Derek that sometimes you got to "hit 'em where it hurts". The boy could care less about being in trouble until it gets to the point of no video game time, or going to bed early. I mean, he doesn't like time outs, but those are warranted, until he calms the hell down. By that time, he's not thinking that he can get ouft of it anyway, so instead he just gets more obstinate, until we make a move towards him and then he RUNS into his room and shuts (slams) the door. At that point, I don't care about the slamming as long as he is OUT OF MY SIGHT. Yes, it is usually to that point by the time we get to room time out. But how do you make a...

In general. Stupid girl who DIDN'T SHOW UP ON SATURDAY, NOR DID SHE CALL IN, is now trying to get her vacation switched. I'm being a bitch to her and not making it easy. She's not even slightly apologetic that she FORGOT that she worked Saturday. Meanwhile, I did the deposit and helped a lot of customers. Every time someone needed something, and they couldn't help, I'd get the knock on the door meaning please come help me. Did I show how aggravated I was then? No, because it wasn't anyone's fault who was there. Am I aggravated now? Sure as hell am. I've been shooting her dirty looks, I can't believe the GALL of her. She can't come in when she is supposed to, but she needs to switch vacation time? I don't give a crap. At all. Maybe if she has apologized. I don't even know why she works here. Barely 15 hours a week, and that's cause she has to BABY-SIT other hours when I could use her. I'm sure she makes minimum wage babysitting. N...

Which Original Evil Dead Character Are You? You are Ash. Take this quiz Usually, I try and skew these things, cause I do love Ash, and Bruce, of course. But this time I didn't even try. I'm just awesome. LOL Which Popular Anime Girl are you? You are Lum, from Urusei Yatsura. Take this quiz Aw! I get to be LUM! Which Malcolm McDowell character are you? You are Caligula. You are a psycho. For the love of God, get some help! Take this quiz WHOA! Caligula, huh? That sounds familiar. He was sick huh? Great. I'm just glad I didn't get Alex from Clockwork Orange. I've never watched that movie and I don't want to be a character from it. Which Horror Movie Character Are You? (Many Options) You are Laurie, from "Halloween." You are intelligent and strong. Take this quiz I like that. Also, I'm a cheater, I got Dewey from Scream first and well, that pissed me off. Then I made it be Freddy Krueger, but I really like H...

I was more than a little freaked out on Saturday. I think I'm better now. No more weirdness, just the little bit that is clearing up now. I shared with TMI_Chix, and that made me feel better. Since I actually shared with them, I suppose I can share now. I got a boil, in a rather private area. And it was really sudden, I barely noticed it before it popped. So I figured, no biggie, I'll just bandage it up and it'll be fine. Except Friday I noticed that it was rather painful, so I felt around a little bit, and noticed that it was hard and painful in another area. I removed the bandage, and then noticed ANOTHER boil. Much larger, much more painful. I've never gotten two in a row, and the internet told me that it could be an infection and that I could need antibiotics and that's all I knew about it. Good news? It hasn't spread to another one, and it is still a little painful, but much smaller. I assume it's leaking the nastiness out. I've been using Neospor...

That subject up there has nothing to do with what I am going to write about, I just love that lyric line. I thought I would rant a little here about how my life is going right now. Home is good, my health is not. =( I'm going to the doctor Tuesday, cause we were all informed not to call in Monday, and I'm sure they need me enough to not have time to get out to Springfield, via bus, then back. This is a big thing, cause I hate my doctor. A bunch. But I'm FREAKING OUT. Thanks Dad, for the hypochondriac gene. Like I need more to worry about. My skin has always been a source of irritation, I don't have nice skin. It likes to get weird little irritations, boils, all sorts of things. I'm not even going to go into detail on what my problem is exactly, cause it's kind of gross, but I'm just so sad. =( One of my best favorite parts of skin has a LOT of irritation, and I'm afraid it's going to scar, and I think I just might die then. (yes, I'm being melodr...

I CAN'T get that whole "My (blank), let me show you it/them" from Cat Macros out of my head. It amuses me. Which is good. Ok, so this here is my blog. I'm probably gonna complain about things that people do that I might even do myself. *gasp* It's hard not to, I mean, I've lived so much life, I've probably done one of the two or three (or a million) things I complain about. At least to a certain degree. But it's my blog, so I am empirically right. That said, this here blog would not be entertaining at all if I didn't take normal, everyday events, and blow them way out of proportion. Otherwise, you would get something along the lines of "I woke up, I had breakfast". I've had posts that are close to this. I really have. I'm not gonna find them. Suffice it to say that I've learned that drama is a lot funnier/more entertaining. What you don't get from me is all the happy stuff. Again, that's boring sometimes. I've b...

I liked this song when I had only heard the chorus. The devil in me still likes it, but WHOA. "At first, when I see you cry, it makes me smile. At worst, I'll feel bad for awhile, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile." First of all, HURRAY for MTV. Without it's movies awards, I would not have downloaded the 7 or 8 new songs on my iPod. Or knew about them. Well, I'd heard of some of them, but it helped when I heard them, and then went on a downloading spree. I need to make Tara some CDs, so I'll be downloading more. At least I managed to finally take enough pictures to fill up a CD, and make more space on the computer. That hard drive really doesn't have enough space. Not for us. So, we don't know. Maybe we'll buy a new hard drive next year when I can, or maybe we'll get a whole new computer. This one is getting louder and louder, and then we could have one in the living room for Derek to play with. Every time a big speck of dust gets c...

My life is going along nicely. I'm thinking a lot more, trying to talk a lot less. Just figuring things out. Then Jesse left me a MySpace comment about how he misses us, and will "talk" to us soon. Cause leaving a message on my MySpace page suffices as a hello to both Ben and I, I guess? Ben hates MySpace, thinks it's dumb, doesn't take any messages from Jesse as actually talking to him, though I do relay these messages. It hurts me for Ben. We're both upset and a little bit pissed off. Still, how easy would it have been for me to just say nothing, and laugh it off? I find that I find more and more things in people annoying, and I find that I have been more likely to say things to people that I would not be able to get out in person through email. Chicken shit? I'll accept that, but I have to do something or eventually I just get pissed off enough to drop that person from my life. It's happened before, and I don't doubt that it will happen again, u...

[Edit-This was Friday. Poof, it's Friday! =) /Edit] What a difference a few days make. What a difference a few hours make. I hate everyone at work. (tsk, tsk, do you SEE the extremes I go to? It's got to be one or the other.) This morning, it was fine. Until the person I needed to cover called in sick. This same person who I just stuck my neck out for so that she could leave early and get her tattoo appointment done. Goes to show you, you do something for someone, and they take it for granted. I've been trying to NEVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED lately. Unfortunately, I still do. I mean, I take walking for granted, I take breathing for granted. I had to get my consignments and normal end of the month stuff in as well, and then I've had to deal with customers. Then the stupid talker goes on a SMALL break to get her car, 40 MINUTES later I am still sitting there. Still having the phone ring two at a time. How unlikely is it that you get NO PHONE CALLS, and then all of the...

[Edit-This was written out Wednesday. I just don't sit in front of the computer long enough to copy and paste this over. =( Sorry. Pretend you've gone back in time and it's last Wednesday. /Edit] And it's really a good thing. It just means you get less postings. Sorry. Or not. It's probably nice not to hear me complain all the time. There is just not enough drama right now. Hee. Just weirdness. Let's start at the beginning of my day. I put on makeup (!) and even put on a skirt. Today was our gift lunch thing. Where I get to be honored for providing excellent customer service behind the scenes. So I thought I should be all pretty-ful. I also thought, hey great opportunity to try out the lipfinity with other make up and see how it looks. If I blot it, it's not as dark and I don't look like I'm trying too hard. It's more of a night color, most likely. I found this out with a LOT of trial and error, including a smudge on my chin that I scrubbed furi...