Random Thoughts

Yesterday almost sucked really bad. I went to bed really early Tuesday night, like...earlier than my kid did, it being summer and all. Ben put him to bed, thankfully, and I just decided to really go to sleep after that, instead of just dozing off and on. I dreamt that I woke up at 4 in the morning, and was just bored as hell, so I went running around town. Not a town that I know, but a town I must know in dreams, cause I knew where everything was, enough to dart around avoiding this one guy. Most of my bad dreams involve two things..me being killed, or at least someone trying to kill me, or me knowing that some guy is bad, but no one believes me. Do with that what you will, sounds like I may have some issues. "You knew that though right? I mean, I put up some flyers..I ate a bunch of 'em" This dream was different in it's badness. I dreamt that I ran into creepy ex boyfriend and decided that since I was bored, it would be a good idea to have sex with him. The WHOLE tim...

Ok, so I admit I have a problem. I'm a MySpace whore and a blogger traitor. It's just that I know more people are reading my MySpace blog and commenting, and it's hard to keep up two blogs. I am teh suck. ___________________________________________________ Tuesday, July 29th (also known as Jenn's birthday!) Title: I had a crazy moment today.. Or at least a moment where I realized how crazy I can be if not held in check. There is this girl at work who I hate. I think everyone knows this. I can't seem to stomach her at all. I gave her lots of chances in the beginning, but she never seemed to get better. I've taken to not looking her directly in the face at all when I can avoid it, I dislike her so much. But today while trying to work together on the phones, I realized how much I really dislike her. I had to sneeze, but I didn't. Instead I held it in, and the reason why I did was because otherwise she would say "bless you" and I would have to be POLIT...

"I'm almost there when you turn and look at me." Oh Pink. You're SO cheeky. I know what she means by the other parts of the song, but I shall leave that out here. Instead I will just admit that I've bitten my tongue many times in an effort to stifle my mouth from screaming or saying things I shouldn't. I've gotten better at it as I get older. Censoring? Yes, but sometimes I need a censor. Heather and I had SO much fun at the game on Thursday. We ate hamburgers, had way too many free beers, and then left before the game started. It was quite fun. We headed to Good Times from there and got "Tic tacs". I dislike Red Bull, but those are yummy, I must admit. Then a beer, then we headed off to punch some guy in the face in Thurston. We didn't end up punching anyone in the face, but it was very entertaining the whole time. We didn't end up seeing the guy, but we did find out that what Heather heard was untrue, so no reason to punch him in the fa...

Hard to believe, I know. So. I've had a few "WTF" moments lately. And I have to share with my girl friends, and all my close ones read this..at least most of the time. LOL. P asked if he could borrow Lestat, and I said..sure, did he want me to mail it to him, since we don't actively hang out much? I wasn't quite as wordy as all that, but that was the gist of it. He responded as such, and I'm gonna quote word for word. "I could just come and pick it up.. I mean if that's aloud and what not. You never know with you lol. Plus, I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to make your b-day party, how bout I promise to make it up to you ^^ Oh.. and you are passed your age for trusting people... just thought I'd remind you !!" Ignoring the misspelling (maybe it's supposed to be ironic?), I was still like...WTF? But I wrote this back..once upon a time, I would have said something flirty and suggestive like..how are you gonna make it up to me?, b...

I may have made that word up. I may have stole it. I don't even know anymore. I was mentioning to Ben how this guy online wanted my phone number, and even gave me his, and how you have to be goddamn careful on the internets with people you don't know. Ben suggested we give him the phone number of the girl who kept texting us like she knew us. Ha ha! Hilarious! I don't want to make him dislike me, I merely want him to back the fuck off. Meh. I'll just not log into that area for awhile, we'll see what happens. Maybe he'll be pushier, maybe he'll get the hint. That wasn't what squicked me out though. I picked a horror movie to watch last night..I went through the free stuff and found "Taboo" and I guess I thought..well, that should be interesting, it's called Taboo even. When they got into the incest part, I just kind of hoped everyone would die in the end. There was NO good guy. Just a bunch of weirdos and brother/sister sex. I don't know...

Like "You don't get to be king cause some tart threw a sword at you!" Which is completely wrong, it's really much longer and more complicated than that. Ben is gone. I've hit MySpace about 3 times now, I've looked at things I shouldn't on the internet, taken pictures of my cleavage, am in the process of making dinner, singing country music at the top of my lungs, writing a blog post, and I'm STILL bored. I'm trying to figure out if I want to watch TV when dinner is done. Probably. Maybe there will be something awesome and free on OnDemand. The whole two showers in one day thing? My skin is itchy, but everything else is good. My hair is back to soft, sweet smelling, and falling all over the place cause I can't be bothered to put it up. And the whole forgetting deodorant thing this morning wasn't as much of a catastrophe since I had to shower again. I may have smelled a bit like a man before I showered just from the minimal amount of outside ...

I've concluded being a test subject for the day. They put electrodes on me, and a weird shower cap type hat with electrodes on it. Held in place with ultrasound gel (that's what she said..ultrasound gel), they seemed to stick pretty well . It took the full three hours, and now my freshly washed hair is all sticky. =( Before they did that though, they had to dry my hair first cause it was still wet, so they got out the blow dryer. It was like I was at a hair salon! lol. Then I had to sit in a chair and watch while they flashed words at me, and had to answer questions about the words. It was kind of surreal, being in a soundproof room by myself, pushing buttons, knowing that someone was watching me on the camera. Made me a bit self conscious. I had to take breaks between each ten minute stretch, so the girl would come in and talk to me during those to make sure I took enough of a break. She said I was in the top 3 of all the people she had seen already at getting the answer right...

I only do what I do. Maybe I do piss people off. But I was listening to Eminem's "Stan" the other day, and I'm pretty much astounded every time I listen to it... It's deep. The rift from Dido only serves to emphasize it's seriousness. And actually? I HATE the Dido song at this point. Cause it's so light and fluffy compared to the monumentous version by Eminem. Undoubtably, people are offended by him, I've always viewed him as pretty much tongue in cheek, and funny when it was over the top. However, in all seriousness? His music is deep. Or maybe I'm just weird? That's been the case too before.

(hee, my boyfriend would be tickled at my blog subject line.) The cosmos aligned for my birthday... I'm pretty sure I already mentioned that, but I didn't really get into detail. So, let me explain myself. 1. No neighbors right now, as the place next store is vacant and ready to be rented out - no neighbor to annoy, and believe me, it's easy since I love to sit in the kitchen so much and the kitchen echos..plus it's the only wall I share with them. Poor planning there. Or not, cause it's probably a good thing that my bedroom isn't next to someone else's. *grin* 2. I've been making some pretty awesome friends at work this year. Friends who actually like to hang out outside of work, and are totally chill and not crazy. 3. Everyone mingled quite well. I'll admit I was nervous, I've tried to incorporate friends from one area with friends from another area before and it doesn't always work. Most of the time, I have one friend who doesn't come ...

NEVER. I'm so damn irritated too. The IRS owes me 189 dollars. If I owed THEM, you bet they would have already processed that AND cashed my check..but since they owe me, I have to wait for a "thousand hours" and it's pissing me off. Every day, I think, this should be the day. Am I impatient? Yes, but it's been 11 weeks as of this Friday, and the damn instructions said 8-12 weeks. And if you count the FIRST time I sent it in, it's been WAY longer than 12 weeks. In my head, I just kept thinking that perhaps I would get it by my birthday (though I kept thinking it would be sooner than that), and now I can't believe that it's taken this damn long. SO ANGRY. Now I have to spend part of my vacation day on Friday calling the damn IRS to see if they can tell me anything, besides..gee. We don't have it. like the last time. I'm FULL OF HATE TODAY. Add that to Jake and Karen not sending the child support yet, and I'm highly irritated. On top of EVERYT...

It's not my birthday anymore. I had a GREAT birthday party. Oh, the awesomeness. Eileen called me at one point and I always have Ben answer the phone, so she was like is this Desiree's phone? And when he asked who it was, she was like..tell her it's her favorite co-worker. And dude, she's RIGHT AT THIS POINT. It was FUNNY. I got chicken, and people got fed as I sat around like an drunk idiot and Alma and Carrie and Eileen even bought me a CAKE. That thing I didn't do. It was awesome. Eileen pretty much rocks my socks off. In any case, my birthday party pretty much was awesome. It's like once in a million years, the universe aligns and presents me with an awesome birthday, on a weekend, good attendance, happy times, and good food. It turned out to be pretty much perfect. Not too many people, and I had a LOT of fun. The last people left about an hour ago, which is pretty much perfect for me, as I fall asleep early. We had a few no shows, but that's kind of to ...

The internet can be a fantastic tool. I'll sit at work some times and try to think of something, a quote or something else, and type it into google, and I magically know what I want to know! Woot! Except when my overactive brain can use it to look up the prescriptions I got from the doctor. One side effect of the muscle relaxer I love? Coma. I'm sure that's a worse case scenario and something that the drug companies HAVE to say, but still. Unsettling. I'm half convinced that I'm gonna die now. I mean..obviously, some day, but like tonight since I'm so worried. I figured since they scared me the least in terms of everything I read on the handouts they give you, I would take them the most, and indeed, the doctor seemed to like that just fine. I think she likes that I'm not taking all the vicodin, but since I've been enjoying those ones the most (if enjoying is the word for it), I figured I should look it up and see if it's addictive or habit forming. P...

Monday, July 7th Grr. My back sucks. I can make it through the day when my back is just tired feeling, but sleeping sucks. Or rather, lying down SUCKS. I have to roll around like a turtle just to get off the bed and it hurts when I sit up straight. Then I kind of launch myself off the bed into the wall and hand walk up it. It's lame. I'm sick of it. I'm tempted to go to the damn doctor and get the medicine I hate. I was so hoping I'd feel much better by now. Meh. So I'm tired, I'm cranky, I cry at least once a night when I have to get up to use the bathroom...I'm surprised the boyfriend hasn't kicked me out of our bed. I don't know if sleeping on the couch would be better, or if the bed is better. The couch may be higher off the floor than the bed, which is nice. I dunno. I just wish that the shit hadn't happened days before my birthday. I can't even think about doing anything normally, and I'm already missing the fun time with the boyfri...

I ALMOST feel normal right now. I felt pretty normal last night too, almost to the point of being optimistic about my back maybe not hurting anymore. But this morning was rough, as evidenced by my early morning blog here. I feel better, perhaps it's because it's more stretched out than it was this morning? I don't know..it could have been that I got less than 6 hours of sleep after I could finally fall asleep last night, and then woke myself up at 5:25 with a tummy ache. Stupid frozen Mac-N-Cheese. =( It always affects my stomach that way, but it's so YUMMY. Right now, this moment, I feel almost normal. Like my back isn't even a problem. I'm going to continue to try and hold my body the right way so that I don't re-injure the spot. I'm going to be super careful about everything, including pushing myself...which I do too much. I very much want to not be in pain during my birthday. It's just that I know that moving in any way wrong will send off a fres...

Day 3 of back pain. Sometimes it seems fine and then it will twinge and I'm hurting all over again. It probably doesn't help that I'm overcompensating for the back strain by putting more weight on other places. Now my stomach is cramping and screaming at me. Could this have happened when I was working for 8 days in a row? Perhaps AFTER my birthday? I don't know if I'll make it without the damn doctor at this point. Last time it was this bad, I had to take vicodin and muscle relaxers. With a stern warning that the muscle relaxers were addictive. I didn't finish either prescription, I HATE taking pills, especially highly addictive ones. =( I'm still gonna have my damn party. I may be stoned on muscle relaxers, but there WILL be a party. =(

1. I just started a work week that is going to go through next Thursday. Yay for the money. I just hope I can hack it. 2. I've been cleaning while I'm not at work so that I can have my birthday party. Which brings us to.. 3. I tweaked my back something fierce yesterday doing normal stuff. I suppose the shopping the night before; nor the naughty time helped much. But the shopping needed to be done and the naughty time was worth it. So, for an update: Definite party goers : Jenn and family, Tammi (and family?), Eileen, Alma, Jess from work (I know a LOT of Jess'), Cat said she'd stop by (I'm thinking she meant Good Times as she didn't ask for directions. lol!), Sidney, Patrick, Ben and myself. Maybe : Becca (wouldn't that be awesome?), Liz and family (I really hope so!), um...that may be all of my "maybes". No idea: Heather mostly (Don't you love me anymore Heather?). Plus a few other people that I spammed with MySpace comments in the hopes ...