Nighty

I am sleepy. I've played about a THOUSAND games of FreeCell, checked my email one last time. I am crawling into bed now.

I should wake up happy and chipper. The boy is at home, so I can have the puter to myself tomorrow.

Thinking about buying cigarettes.

I think I'm slippin' y'all.

I might need to go back to not smoking at all. This once in awhile, becomes once a week, and then once every couple of days, and then once a day.

Then it slacks off for awhile. I suppose it's better than smoking a pack a day.

Comments

Jennifer said…
Darling Des, you sound a bit down. I am concerned. I do not know very many people who have not had at least one fleeting fantasy of suicide at some point in their lives, so I am not worried about that, and I know you will pull yourself out of this slump.

But.

Des.

Cigarettes? Are you sure? I have tried so many times to get off these addictive, expensive little fuckers. If I had it to do all over again, I would not have smoked the first one in 1997.

A smoke isn't the end of the world, and as I always say, smoking is better than beating the shit out of the kids.

I'm not telling you what to do aside from, you know, please treat yourself with kindness, 'kay? And hug that boy.

And have some fun this weekend!
8:17 AM
SWSNBN said…
Yeah, I went and bought a pack. I'm not saying it's the end of trying not to smoke. (I never called in quitting, it's helps not to think that I'll NEVER have a cigarette again)

It's not being able to have one that gets me. When Ben is here I can steal on from him if I want. But I wanted him to go home so that I could clean with the music cranked and type away without waking him up.

I am planning on having a good weekend, I will hug the boy for you. :)

(MY VERIFICATION WORD IS ZIMTV!!!)
8:43 AM
SWSNBN said…
The only good thing I got going for me, is sometimes my ass is too lazy to want to go outside. :)

And when the cold really hits! It's just gonna be worse (better?)

We'll see what happens today. How many I decide to smoke. Just talking about it makes me want to smoke. :)
8:56 AM
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