Socially awkward in bad situations
Ok, so what the hell do you say to people when bad things are going down? Cause I've never got that. The only things that come to mind are trite and cliché.
For instance, someone I know is prolly going to be going through a divorce. She tells me today, and I think it's been going on awhile. So, I tell her I'm sorry (my blanket response, I almost kicked the habit once when a friend of mine, was like....YOU should be, it's all your fault (very sarcastically, of course), and it got me thinking maybe that's not the best response, but now I'm right back to using it), and she says that it's not my fault. Of course.
At this point, she goes into a little more detail, about how it's getting ugly, and I'm like damn. But nothing better, just damn.
So, then I think later, that I totally shoulda offered her a place to stay if things get bad. So, I call her and offer up my house. She's like I know, honey.
That's the best thing I could come up with. When she left for lunch right after that, she totally avoided looking at me. I don't know if she was crying, cause I had offered her a place to stay (that would be my response), or if it was because she was disappointed that I didn't offer more.
I don't know what to do about it. It's not as bad as when someone dies (I am HORRIBLY awkward in those situations), but I still feel bad and I don't know what to do. I have no personal experience to draw from. Not that anyone's experience or the pain from it is going to be exactly alike anyhow.
For instance, someone I know is prolly going to be going through a divorce. She tells me today, and I think it's been going on awhile. So, I tell her I'm sorry (my blanket response, I almost kicked the habit once when a friend of mine, was like....YOU should be, it's all your fault (very sarcastically, of course), and it got me thinking maybe that's not the best response, but now I'm right back to using it), and she says that it's not my fault. Of course.
At this point, she goes into a little more detail, about how it's getting ugly, and I'm like damn. But nothing better, just damn.
So, then I think later, that I totally shoulda offered her a place to stay if things get bad. So, I call her and offer up my house. She's like I know, honey.
That's the best thing I could come up with. When she left for lunch right after that, she totally avoided looking at me. I don't know if she was crying, cause I had offered her a place to stay (that would be my response), or if it was because she was disappointed that I didn't offer more.
I don't know what to do about it. It's not as bad as when someone dies (I am HORRIBLY awkward in those situations), but I still feel bad and I don't know what to do. I have no personal experience to draw from. Not that anyone's experience or the pain from it is going to be exactly alike anyhow.
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I'm having the same problem with Neva right now, her mom's in the hospital and not doing very well, i don't know how to make it better, I'm not Jesus. I can't just walk on water over to the hospital and lay my healing hands on her mom. But I can listen to her tell me about her internal struggles with the situation and tell her that it's not her fault when she tells me how guilty she feels about everything she's ever done that may have led to this.
I think that's just the best we can do.
Speaking of bad things happening, did you hear about Adrian yet?
And yep, I heard.