Nova
I've only managed a shower...and breakfast and coffee. I'm stuck in another book. It's not so light and fluffy as my usual books.
To quote the back, a coming of age story, mixed with sex, and drugs.
It might've said rock and roll as well, except I'm getting that they are more into punk then rock.
A best friend story..and I kinda skipped through skimming each page. I could tell from the foreshadowing that something bad was gonna happen to her best friend. I kinda figured she'd die. But what happened was so sudden. =(
It made me cry a little. I can't imagine losing a friend. Having a friend die on you.
That sounded fucking selfish, huh?
I've been lucky. When I was 17, this girl Nova died. I didn't know Nova well, but I'm pretty sure she OD'ed. Or committed suicide? I don't know. All I know was she was close to my age. I went to the funeral home for the reception?..what the hell do that call it? Not the full blown ceremony, but like a showing..I guess.
She hung out on the mall, and my roommates knew her. I should've known her. I lived on the mall at one point, but it was earlier. At this point, I'd had Derek and didn't really hang out much downtown, except to grab coffee at Sip and Surf. They had a toddler and he'd be in his play pen and they'd let him walk around..and he'd come over and look in Derek's stroller...just the sweetest little kid. I'd coo at him. But I didn't want my kid out ON THE MALL. Not really. It was my compromise..the way I still got to see people. That kid would sleep anywhere, so it was easy to run him around in his little front pack.
I'm getting sidetracked.
I went to Nova's showing with Paul and Heather, they were pretty upset..I was going to be some support..and perhaps out of morbid curiousity.
It was overwhelming, seeing a dead body that was MY AGE. I mean..I'd been to my grandma's funeral, but she was OLD.
Mortality is fucking scary.
Knowing that people my age COULD die?
It's different than going into the cemetary and seeing the little baby's graves. For them, I cry. They never had a chance. They NEVER did anything wrong. I've went to a baby's funeral before and it was AWFUL. I cried so hard that people were asking ME if I was ok. Me, who hadn't lost a baby. Sadly, after my friend lost that baby, she stopped going and visiting the other baby. The twin who didn't die. Last I heard, she'd been taken away..and my friend was probably living with some other older guy. Someone who would make sure HE had the power. She did it while she was pregnant even. I NEVER got to see her in the whole time she was with this guy. And finally, one or the other got tired of it. And I think she moved back into the pregnancy house. I can't even REMEMBER HER NAME. Which is sad. =(
I just don't understand a mother who could abandon her baby. I think she felt guilty that one of the twins died, but WHAT THE HELL? You just abandon the other one?
I'm still mad at her.
But Nova...she could have been me. A few different choices and who knows? I could've been dead at 17. Or 16.
I think I cried. I'm not even sure.
But I remember this girl that Jake worked with, and she was there and since I was upset, she came over and gave me a big hug and she was obviously upset, cause she'd known her. And I felt like such a poser. I didn't even know this girl, yet I was getting consolation hugs from people who had known and loved her?
I felt also, that maybe SHE needed a hug. Which I am glad I could give her. But I still felt fake..like I'm only here for other people and my own curiousity.
I'm not sure what brought all that up...besides I guess the book.
I have to go though. Derek is trying to tear down the fucking house and I have to go put his ass in time out.
Hurray. Yay for vacation. *smirk*
To quote the back, a coming of age story, mixed with sex, and drugs.
It might've said rock and roll as well, except I'm getting that they are more into punk then rock.
A best friend story..and I kinda skipped through skimming each page. I could tell from the foreshadowing that something bad was gonna happen to her best friend. I kinda figured she'd die. But what happened was so sudden. =(
It made me cry a little. I can't imagine losing a friend. Having a friend die on you.
That sounded fucking selfish, huh?
I've been lucky. When I was 17, this girl Nova died. I didn't know Nova well, but I'm pretty sure she OD'ed. Or committed suicide? I don't know. All I know was she was close to my age. I went to the funeral home for the reception?..what the hell do that call it? Not the full blown ceremony, but like a showing..I guess.
She hung out on the mall, and my roommates knew her. I should've known her. I lived on the mall at one point, but it was earlier. At this point, I'd had Derek and didn't really hang out much downtown, except to grab coffee at Sip and Surf. They had a toddler and he'd be in his play pen and they'd let him walk around..and he'd come over and look in Derek's stroller...just the sweetest little kid. I'd coo at him. But I didn't want my kid out ON THE MALL. Not really. It was my compromise..the way I still got to see people. That kid would sleep anywhere, so it was easy to run him around in his little front pack.
I'm getting sidetracked.
I went to Nova's showing with Paul and Heather, they were pretty upset..I was going to be some support..and perhaps out of morbid curiousity.
It was overwhelming, seeing a dead body that was MY AGE. I mean..I'd been to my grandma's funeral, but she was OLD.
Mortality is fucking scary.
Knowing that people my age COULD die?
It's different than going into the cemetary and seeing the little baby's graves. For them, I cry. They never had a chance. They NEVER did anything wrong. I've went to a baby's funeral before and it was AWFUL. I cried so hard that people were asking ME if I was ok. Me, who hadn't lost a baby. Sadly, after my friend lost that baby, she stopped going and visiting the other baby. The twin who didn't die. Last I heard, she'd been taken away..and my friend was probably living with some other older guy. Someone who would make sure HE had the power. She did it while she was pregnant even. I NEVER got to see her in the whole time she was with this guy. And finally, one or the other got tired of it. And I think she moved back into the pregnancy house. I can't even REMEMBER HER NAME. Which is sad. =(
I just don't understand a mother who could abandon her baby. I think she felt guilty that one of the twins died, but WHAT THE HELL? You just abandon the other one?
I'm still mad at her.
But Nova...she could have been me. A few different choices and who knows? I could've been dead at 17. Or 16.
I think I cried. I'm not even sure.
But I remember this girl that Jake worked with, and she was there and since I was upset, she came over and gave me a big hug and she was obviously upset, cause she'd known her. And I felt like such a poser. I didn't even know this girl, yet I was getting consolation hugs from people who had known and loved her?
I felt also, that maybe SHE needed a hug. Which I am glad I could give her. But I still felt fake..like I'm only here for other people and my own curiousity.
I'm not sure what brought all that up...besides I guess the book.
I have to go though. Derek is trying to tear down the fucking house and I have to go put his ass in time out.
Hurray. Yay for vacation. *smirk*
Comments
I think that's right.
=(
It's sad.