Ha ha on me

So.

I went in for my appointment. I explained that I am stupid and had some problems remembering to take the pill and I was freaking out EVERY TIME I did that. I don't know how much I've spent on pregnancy tests in the past year, but this is just not ok.

And the stress.

I am SO DONE with having kids. They are expensive and time consuming and damn. You know? I'd prolly get one that cried all the time and had to be held all the time and woke me up 5 times a night. I am NOT a good person to wake up a bunch.

Plus. I don't want to go through labor ever again.

I am a pain wimp.

I explained and I told her I was terrified of getting pregnant again and I looked over all the charts, and saw that with PERFECT use, 1 in 100 woman get pregnant on the pill. With AVERAGE use, 5 in 100 do! I've certainly been average with my use. I had NO idea.

We talked about an IUD and she said that they actually don't do the Mirena IUD, cause they have to have certain procedures..or something. I gathered that due to being family planning and a government subsidized entity, they have to have something in place before they can do it. They had the regular IUD, but she said that that would probably give me worse cramps and heavier periods. I like the idea of no hormones, but it's just not practical.

So, we kinda talked about it a bit and decided that Depo would be best. I'd been on Depo before and I liked it. They decided I was gaining too much weight and took me off of it. She said that Yes, it can make your brain think you are hungry when you are not, but it wasn't the actually drug that was making you gain weight, it was the increased hunger. I fight with my hunger anyhow, and I'd prefer not to be worried about being pregnant while I do it.

I didn't have a period at all when I was on it, which was really awesome. I am strange. If I get my period really late, or it's really light, I am CONVINCED that I am pregnant. However, if I have no period, I am just confident in the drug and don't worry.

I will have to go back more often, but really, that can't be anything but good. I'll have more of an idea about my weight if I am being weighed every 3 months. (I'm down TWO whole pounds, by the way. Meh)

She kinda scared me, I had a salad today for lunch. It was NOT filling. I had some tortilla chips after that. And now I have my carrots.

While on the table, my cervix rebelled and tried to push the "duck" out. Hee hee.

It was funny. She was like...whoa, wait a minute and I was like...yeah, I thought I felt it sliding. She had to re-adjust TWICE.

Then she sent the nurse back in to give me a shot in my ASS. It's still a little tender. Ben started rubbing it last night and I was like....stop. Really. Rub my back if you want, but don't touch my ass.

On top of not having the IUD that I prolly want to use, I have a DEEP cervix. Yeah, I know. I am ALL sorts of strange. (so strange that I just accidentally spit carrots on myself)

And I think it would be really hard to get the damn thing in, and it might not really work as well.

For now, we're going with the shot. When the lady came in to give it to me, she was like...do you bleed? I was thinking..well, of course I bleed. She meant do I bleed a lot. I was like...yeah. She was a little scared at that point. Hee hee.

We talked tattoos for a little bit and then she had me lean over the table and pull my pants down. They weren't down far enough so she was like..I need them to be down to the top of your crack.

Then she was like...that sounded bad, huh?

I do really kinda LOVE the people there. They aren't "proper" sometimes and that it awesome.

I feel like a new person. I'm even going to be able to pretty much skip most of this period, cause the shot is effective instantly. I'm less crampy and in a better mood already.

Plus, no bloating. Cause feeling like you have to poop when you don't, sucks.

Obviously.

Since I was right over there, I even popped into the DMV and renewed my ID, FINALLY.

Bad picture, not much I can do about it now.

When I filled out the form I put Denver, Colorado as birthplace. Apparently, last time I put Englewood, CO. They might as well be the same. He was like....WELL, which is it? And I was like...Denver. I think. I tried to explain and he just heaved a big sigh, like I was the WORST CUSTOMER EVER. And I must be completely retarded.

Shit, I was BORN there, I don't know EXACTLY where the hospital is.

So then he is like...well, which one are you going to say if someone asks you? Which is the one you will remember? I was like...well, obviously, I go either way. =S Did I not just screw up on the form? Are we NOT having this conversation?

In my head of course. Out loud, I mumbled Denver.

Not a SINGLE one of those people were smiling. Do you have to be permanently pissed and have no sense of humor to work at the DMV?

I almost want to work there, just to cheer the place up.

Unless the DMV just breaks people. And then, no thanks.

Maybe that's it. Perhaps it is just the WORST place to work.

Anyhow. YAY! I can officially go into a bar again. I almost want to, just to celebrate that I can.

Sure....I'll just take Derek with me.

*smirk*