I'm SO fucking mad right now
Derek just told me that his dad said that all the food we eat is junk.
Y'know, I just buy what I can afford. So, yeah, I buy hot dogs.
Would he like to pay more child support so that I can buy fish and steak and chicken every fucking night?
We don't much like chicken around here. And when we do eat it, it's all about the white meat and we like it boneless. We don't like surprises in our meat. And, of course, breast meat is the most expensive.
I'm twitching, I'm so angry. I was totally gonna call him and tell him that beyond what he may think of our food, he doesn't need to bad mouth my house while Derek is up there. We have made it a BIG POINT not to bad mouth Jake. We instead say things like well, we don't think that was a good decision, but it's his decision and obviously, we do not make the same.
Derek said that they MADE him watch CSI cause they wanted to watch it one night DURING DINNER.
I can't even make BEN watch CSI when he is eating. It's pretty graphic. Yes, it does have a PG rating, but Derek has weird dreams (where the hell could he have got that from?) over little things. They took him to see Pirate of the Caribbean and he had nightmares with skeletons for awhile after that. She mentioned, last time they were here, that her mom had wanted to take them to see the second one. And she was like..Derek can't. The last time I let him watch that, I got in trouble.
I don't remember even saying anything to her, but apparently, she got in trouble. I guess Jake got in trouble and so she did? I can't even remember. Cause I finally said something so I could let it go. Or else he had nightmares up there that they didn't even tell me about.
If they eat SO FUCKING healthy and are so good about their health, why is she missing a tooth and the rest look dirty and gross?
I don't know. I'm just a little pissed off. Could be I am making it worse in my head so that I can "get back at him".
I actually picked up the phone and called the cell phone. I let it ring once and then realized that I couldn't do it.
He's SO lucky he doesn't have email. It doesn't matter if I cry and be a little hysterical while trying to get my point across. He can't HEAR me via email. And I can always re-read. Though I rarely do.
EMAILS OF DOOM.
But seriously, I feel a little better. I just...Derek doesn't have any tact, and will continue to say this was better or this wasn't up there vs. down here. Like the CSI thing, I wouldn't have done that to him. I don't watch it if he is in the room. =(
But it really only bothers me when I feel like it's personal.
He said they feed him sugar in the morning more than I do, but that "our food" makes him fat and slow.
YES, FAT, and slow.
I mean, could that be any more of a dig at me?
Maybe not, perhaps he wasn't thinking. But this is my MAIN problem with Jake. He has NO respect for me at all. And I am the mother of one of his children. I can't see how Karen can't see that. I'm sure she just thinks they'll always be together and even if they do break up, he'll always treat her good.
She's wrong. I suppose in their house, I might just be the "bitch". You know, there are plenty of blended families nowadays and I often hear from the talker at work about her boyfriend's ex and how she dictates EVERYTHING they do with her kids.
I am flexible and I'm not a bitch, but perhaps that isn't the way they see it. Yes, I do get upset, but it's only because I don't like him lying to me, making me wait all day, telling my kid rude things about me or our house.
I'm SO tempted to blast off a letter saying that if he thinks we eat junk, he can send another hundred every month and I can buy better, more expensive stuff.
Better yet, let's go through the state and see what they think I should get. A lot more, I'm sure.
Yes, vegetables aren't terribly expensive. But I've bought a bunch before and either this person won't eat them, or that won't. Or they go bad and what is the point of buying shit we aren't gonna eat. How am I supposed to make it any better?
First Derek said that they made him eat a lot of vegetables and that chicken burgers aren't good for you (I FUCKING hate them, but I buy them cause he loves them. Guess I won't be buying them anymore) and that neither are hot dogs.
I AM SORRY, BUT I CANNOT GET ALONG WITHOUT HOT DOGS. DAMN.
I'm feeling slightly better. Definitely not like ringing Jake's scrawny neck anymore.
He might be getting a letter though. I can't believe he has to bad mouth me in front of our kid. I don't HAVE to let Derek go visit. DAMN.
(ok, I'm still a little pissed.)
Y'know, I just buy what I can afford. So, yeah, I buy hot dogs.
Would he like to pay more child support so that I can buy fish and steak and chicken every fucking night?
We don't much like chicken around here. And when we do eat it, it's all about the white meat and we like it boneless. We don't like surprises in our meat. And, of course, breast meat is the most expensive.
I'm twitching, I'm so angry. I was totally gonna call him and tell him that beyond what he may think of our food, he doesn't need to bad mouth my house while Derek is up there. We have made it a BIG POINT not to bad mouth Jake. We instead say things like well, we don't think that was a good decision, but it's his decision and obviously, we do not make the same.
Derek said that they MADE him watch CSI cause they wanted to watch it one night DURING DINNER.
I can't even make BEN watch CSI when he is eating. It's pretty graphic. Yes, it does have a PG rating, but Derek has weird dreams (where the hell could he have got that from?) over little things. They took him to see Pirate of the Caribbean and he had nightmares with skeletons for awhile after that. She mentioned, last time they were here, that her mom had wanted to take them to see the second one. And she was like..Derek can't. The last time I let him watch that, I got in trouble.
I don't remember even saying anything to her, but apparently, she got in trouble. I guess Jake got in trouble and so she did? I can't even remember. Cause I finally said something so I could let it go. Or else he had nightmares up there that they didn't even tell me about.
If they eat SO FUCKING healthy and are so good about their health, why is she missing a tooth and the rest look dirty and gross?
I don't know. I'm just a little pissed off. Could be I am making it worse in my head so that I can "get back at him".
I actually picked up the phone and called the cell phone. I let it ring once and then realized that I couldn't do it.
He's SO lucky he doesn't have email. It doesn't matter if I cry and be a little hysterical while trying to get my point across. He can't HEAR me via email. And I can always re-read. Though I rarely do.
EMAILS OF DOOM.
But seriously, I feel a little better. I just...Derek doesn't have any tact, and will continue to say this was better or this wasn't up there vs. down here. Like the CSI thing, I wouldn't have done that to him. I don't watch it if he is in the room. =(
But it really only bothers me when I feel like it's personal.
He said they feed him sugar in the morning more than I do, but that "our food" makes him fat and slow.
YES, FAT, and slow.
I mean, could that be any more of a dig at me?
Maybe not, perhaps he wasn't thinking. But this is my MAIN problem with Jake. He has NO respect for me at all. And I am the mother of one of his children. I can't see how Karen can't see that. I'm sure she just thinks they'll always be together and even if they do break up, he'll always treat her good.
She's wrong. I suppose in their house, I might just be the "bitch". You know, there are plenty of blended families nowadays and I often hear from the talker at work about her boyfriend's ex and how she dictates EVERYTHING they do with her kids.
I am flexible and I'm not a bitch, but perhaps that isn't the way they see it. Yes, I do get upset, but it's only because I don't like him lying to me, making me wait all day, telling my kid rude things about me or our house.
I'm SO tempted to blast off a letter saying that if he thinks we eat junk, he can send another hundred every month and I can buy better, more expensive stuff.
Better yet, let's go through the state and see what they think I should get. A lot more, I'm sure.
Yes, vegetables aren't terribly expensive. But I've bought a bunch before and either this person won't eat them, or that won't. Or they go bad and what is the point of buying shit we aren't gonna eat. How am I supposed to make it any better?
First Derek said that they made him eat a lot of vegetables and that chicken burgers aren't good for you (I FUCKING hate them, but I buy them cause he loves them. Guess I won't be buying them anymore) and that neither are hot dogs.
I AM SORRY, BUT I CANNOT GET ALONG WITHOUT HOT DOGS. DAMN.
I'm feeling slightly better. Definitely not like ringing Jake's scrawny neck anymore.
He might be getting a letter though. I can't believe he has to bad mouth me in front of our kid. I don't HAVE to let Derek go visit. DAMN.
(ok, I'm still a little pissed.)
Comments
I wonder how much of it is colored and interpreted by his perception? Not to dismiss the charges, certainly if that's what WAS said it's pretty inflammatory.
Does it matter though?
Will he have a basis for taking Derek away (would he want to?) based on Derek telling him that? You seem to eat pretty well from the meals you describe. You seem pretty good on nutrition and Ben seems to do a great job cooking from what I've SEEN.
Could be Derek complained about a meal, and when they got sick of hearing him complain they asked "Well what DO you like to eat?!" and he told them McD's or Hotdogs, and they made an assumption.
There's a plethora of possibilities, if any one of them could make you feel better. Going for Jake's jugular won't help, and a fight between the 2 of you will just make it worse.
I'm really big on giving people the "benefit of the doubt" and asking a lot of questions before I go off half-cocked, though. My own insecurities about being "wrong." So understand my commentary is colored by my own perception.
Regardless, I'm sorry you're hurting, and I think you do a fabulous job, and I would back you up in any situation- I hope you know that :)
RD - I MIGHT be able to talk to Karen. With Jake, I don't feel like he really listens or cares. And when he DOES listen, he'll say something smart ass about it later.
Like...I got in trouble for it before. Like I'm his fucking mother or something. He's an adult, he needs to be an adult.
Meh