"Are his teeth still in his head?"
Just when I think I am being better about cross posting from MySpace, I do something like this. I don't hate you blogger, it's just that a lot more people comment on MySpace, plus I get more legit hits instead of people searching for random crap on the internet. I know, I suck, I don't know when MySpace became my bigger blog, but it apparently has. Oh yeah, this was supposed to be posted Friday, the part that I didn't post to MySpace is this - I'm seriously still freaked out. Like I don't really want my kid leaving the house, or running, or making motions near his head at all. It's my anxiety getting the better of me. I'm trying to fight it, but really I just want to cry for about a thousand hours and try to feel better. I mean..my kid's mouth is RUINED. All by two teeth. He doesn't view it this way, and I know I'm just being melodramatic, but I'm so very worried about what I'm feeding him and everything, just in case it could pop off the filling. They basically crafted most of the tooth of the filling material and my head is just having a hard time imagining that it's going to stay on to that tiny bit of tooth just fine. I feel like this is something I'm going to worry about for ever. It's brought to mind each time we feed him..like is this too hard? Too sticky? No apples, unless they are cut up. All that bullshit. And even though none of this is my fault, it didn't even happen on my watch, I'm still feeling guilty. Which is ridiculous.
I'm sure a bit of it is just me being over emotional and dramatic. It's not like I could have prevented it, and kids are going to fall. I should be happy that it wasn't worse. I think it's the permanence of the tooth being gone that's screwing with me. With a broken bone, it would mend.
I need to get my anxiety under control. I think it gets a bit more out of control each year. I don't remember being so anxious about almost everything just a few short years ago. Perhaps that's what they really mean by being an adult?
So now, onto the part I did post on MySpace.
_________________________________________________
I've asked that question a lot since about 3 pm yesterday.
It's a weird question to have to ask.
But when I'm at work I can't exactly see for myself, and so every call home was filled with that question.
I guess it's worrying me. lol.
I may stop the worrying in about a week. Maybe. I mean, he's still my kid, so maybe I'll stop the worrying when he's 18 and responsible for his own body?
Yeah, probably not then either.
Anyhow. I'll get over it, I always do. I've just been a worrier forever. I've only had stitches once (for the C-section) and I don't really count that as my "fault". I don't feel like I really earned those stitches. It's not like I fell from a tree or anything. I never broke a bone either. Ever since I can remember, I seem to have always been conscious of the possibility of danger. I think about what it would feel like to fall down the steps when I walk down them. I'm kind of weird. If you didn't know that by now, then I guess you do now.
The day my little brother was brought home from the hospital, I stayed up the whole night to make sure he kept breathing. My concern and worry reaches outside myself at least. ;)
I remember being in the car accident when I was...12? I guess I don't remember what age I was exactly, but we were going to pick up pizzas for dinner, it was payday, everyone was happy and excited, and then we got hit at that light.
And my mother and stepfather lost their licenses for reasons I don't want to go into. We weren't at fault.
The car seat for my little brother was mangled, it seemed like badly. Yet, he was unhurt.
I think I stopped worrying about him as much that day. He'd survived, that must have been what I was holding my breath for.
He's not so little anymore, my little brother. Probably taller than me. He has a MySpace, but I'm pretty sure he'd be weirded out by being my "friend". He doesn't really know me all that well. He was only 4 when I ran away.
I wonder if I'll ever have that moment to breathe with Derek. He's so very active, climbing on things, running around and I don't begrudge him that, but at the same time I'm filled with worry.
I know that bones can be broken, skin split badly enough to need stitches, and I'm a little freaked out.
He's such a boy and fearless, maybe I'm supposed to have extra for him? I try not to show it to him much, I don't necessarily want him to be scared of things. Anxious for moments that *probably* won't happen.
Anyhow. Besides all of that.
Yay, it's Friday. I have salmon that I was going to eat, but it suddenly seems like a lot of work to cook. I should have done it while I was sitting around trying to get more pictures of pictures. See, I don't drag out my picture books often, and it's even rarer that people want to sit down at look at them for as long as I can (lol), so this way I can put them out there, people can look at them if they want, and some times it brings back some really good memories. Probably most will end up in the friends album, but perhaps not all. Some will probably go into the Heather and I album, and at least one will go into the Derek album.
Damn that kid is cute, if I do say so myself. And such a ham for the camera, he'd just grin at you if you pointed it in his general direction.
I also took pictures of the pieces of his teeth, the ones we kept for nothing, cause it's not like you can superglue a tooth back on and have that work. Though it sounded easy enough to me. I'm not a dentist though. ;)
And a picture of me, cause I'm feeling exceptionally cute today. Now I just have to upload the billion of pictures. Not really that much, but a bit.
On the work front, today went fantastically. I got to interview people for job positions. It's not something I've done before and it was kind of awesome. Me and Deanna went and did the interviews and I let her talk more as I was kind of nervous. The guy was pretty out going, so I wasn't as nervous, but I think the girl's nervousness made me more nervous. It was weird. And I put him at ease about piercings, cause I have a bunch of them. I mean, I'm not like a metal face or anything, but it's obvious that people aren't as bothered by them their as they could be at other jobs. Which I am thankful for. I've gotten my last three piercings on my lunch break.
It was very interesting to see the interview from the other side. I hope I put them at ease enough. I'm not really scary. =)
To most people anyhow.
I hope my boys get home soon, before I get tempted to go watch that horror movie with Pink in it. I just know they'll come in halfway through and I'll have to wait to watch the rest. I should just watch a movie I've seen. Evil Dead 2 is free on Demand right now, but that hardly matters as it is here in my house on DVD. I guess technically it's Ben's, but we're pretty good about sharing.
When Jake moved out, I gave him the Pulp Fiction sdtk. I regretted that later, so now I only have a copy. I shudder to think how we would divide up the ATHF if we decided we couldn't live together. All of the sudden, out of nowhere. Ha. =)
I'm sure a bit of it is just me being over emotional and dramatic. It's not like I could have prevented it, and kids are going to fall. I should be happy that it wasn't worse. I think it's the permanence of the tooth being gone that's screwing with me. With a broken bone, it would mend.
I need to get my anxiety under control. I think it gets a bit more out of control each year. I don't remember being so anxious about almost everything just a few short years ago. Perhaps that's what they really mean by being an adult?
So now, onto the part I did post on MySpace.
_________________________________________________
I've asked that question a lot since about 3 pm yesterday.
It's a weird question to have to ask.
But when I'm at work I can't exactly see for myself, and so every call home was filled with that question.
I guess it's worrying me. lol.
I may stop the worrying in about a week. Maybe. I mean, he's still my kid, so maybe I'll stop the worrying when he's 18 and responsible for his own body?
Yeah, probably not then either.
Anyhow. I'll get over it, I always do. I've just been a worrier forever. I've only had stitches once (for the C-section) and I don't really count that as my "fault". I don't feel like I really earned those stitches. It's not like I fell from a tree or anything. I never broke a bone either. Ever since I can remember, I seem to have always been conscious of the possibility of danger. I think about what it would feel like to fall down the steps when I walk down them. I'm kind of weird. If you didn't know that by now, then I guess you do now.
The day my little brother was brought home from the hospital, I stayed up the whole night to make sure he kept breathing. My concern and worry reaches outside myself at least. ;)
I remember being in the car accident when I was...12? I guess I don't remember what age I was exactly, but we were going to pick up pizzas for dinner, it was payday, everyone was happy and excited, and then we got hit at that light.
And my mother and stepfather lost their licenses for reasons I don't want to go into. We weren't at fault.
The car seat for my little brother was mangled, it seemed like badly. Yet, he was unhurt.
I think I stopped worrying about him as much that day. He'd survived, that must have been what I was holding my breath for.
He's not so little anymore, my little brother. Probably taller than me. He has a MySpace, but I'm pretty sure he'd be weirded out by being my "friend". He doesn't really know me all that well. He was only 4 when I ran away.
I wonder if I'll ever have that moment to breathe with Derek. He's so very active, climbing on things, running around and I don't begrudge him that, but at the same time I'm filled with worry.
I know that bones can be broken, skin split badly enough to need stitches, and I'm a little freaked out.
He's such a boy and fearless, maybe I'm supposed to have extra for him? I try not to show it to him much, I don't necessarily want him to be scared of things. Anxious for moments that *probably* won't happen.
Anyhow. Besides all of that.
Yay, it's Friday. I have salmon that I was going to eat, but it suddenly seems like a lot of work to cook. I should have done it while I was sitting around trying to get more pictures of pictures. See, I don't drag out my picture books often, and it's even rarer that people want to sit down at look at them for as long as I can (lol), so this way I can put them out there, people can look at them if they want, and some times it brings back some really good memories. Probably most will end up in the friends album, but perhaps not all. Some will probably go into the Heather and I album, and at least one will go into the Derek album.
Damn that kid is cute, if I do say so myself. And such a ham for the camera, he'd just grin at you if you pointed it in his general direction.
I also took pictures of the pieces of his teeth, the ones we kept for nothing, cause it's not like you can superglue a tooth back on and have that work. Though it sounded easy enough to me. I'm not a dentist though. ;)
And a picture of me, cause I'm feeling exceptionally cute today. Now I just have to upload the billion of pictures. Not really that much, but a bit.
On the work front, today went fantastically. I got to interview people for job positions. It's not something I've done before and it was kind of awesome. Me and Deanna went and did the interviews and I let her talk more as I was kind of nervous. The guy was pretty out going, so I wasn't as nervous, but I think the girl's nervousness made me more nervous. It was weird. And I put him at ease about piercings, cause I have a bunch of them. I mean, I'm not like a metal face or anything, but it's obvious that people aren't as bothered by them their as they could be at other jobs. Which I am thankful for. I've gotten my last three piercings on my lunch break.
It was very interesting to see the interview from the other side. I hope I put them at ease enough. I'm not really scary. =)
To most people anyhow.
I hope my boys get home soon, before I get tempted to go watch that horror movie with Pink in it. I just know they'll come in halfway through and I'll have to wait to watch the rest. I should just watch a movie I've seen. Evil Dead 2 is free on Demand right now, but that hardly matters as it is here in my house on DVD. I guess technically it's Ben's, but we're pretty good about sharing.
When Jake moved out, I gave him the Pulp Fiction sdtk. I regretted that later, so now I only have a copy. I shudder to think how we would divide up the ATHF if we decided we couldn't live together. All of the sudden, out of nowhere. Ha. =)
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