Petulancy
I'm having a hard time of it today.
You know, that whole being poor thing?
We know we are heading to the fair tomorrow night and that we will spend money there, so I should not spend money tonight.
But really? It's all I seem to want to do.
First of all, I reminded Ben that we needed to have chicken tonight. 4 nights of dinner left planned, 3 of which are chicken.
He apparently has started to hate chicken. Which just means I'm going to have to find a way to replace that in our menu choice. It wouldn't be such a damn problem, but he HAS to cut off all the pieces that don't look fantastic to him. Every extra inch of white fat? Cut off. So he hates it because he makes it hard. Which is not very kind of me to say, but I'm still not feeling well so I'm not feeling very kind. Since he dislikes the chicken, we are going to be eating more of some other very processed food. The chicken was like...the healthiest thing I could think of, and even that is done with processed white rice.
Maybe we could just eat salad all the damn time? I think we would get sick of that too.
Nothing easy is good for us.
Those are just my ideas of course. I could be wrong. I mean, I'm the least healthy of us two; he barely weighs over 200. He does walk a lot. Perhaps I should walk all over the place too?
Since he hated the idea of chicken so much, I thought it over and called him back and offered to take us out to the Mission for dinner. I have a buy one get one free dinner, and so I thought it wouldn't be too extravagant.
Add on to that the fact that I didn't get to go there for my birthday dinner and it's already been a month, and I meant to go while Derek was gone. I just want my fucking birthday dinner dammit. ><
He vetoed the idea and mentioned how we probably shouldn't be spending extra money. So, no go.
I KNOW it makes sense, but I still feel a little cheated. Cheated out of a true birthday dinner. And maybe I should just be a freaking adult about it and not care, right?
The more childish part of me wants to wait until it's his birthday and then be like...well, we don't NEED birthday dinners right?
I won't be doing that of course, but I know some "holding a grudge" part of me will think it when we get there, next March. We'll have the money then cause of tax returns.
In the long run? He's perfectly right, I should not be spending the money. But I'm annoyed. I tried to come up with a solution and something nice for us, and it's a no go.
It's rather hard to be generous when you are tired (I don't know why, I slept fine last night, the first night I didn't wake up for no reason at 2 in the morning and toss and turn!), have a headache (that comes back the instant the medicine wears off. I KNOW I drank enough damn water today to avoid the dehydration headache), and just feel stupid in the head. I'm half convinced that I've actually managed to get some sort of damn infection, but for the life of me I don't know how. I wasn't ever sick, just this extremely low grade sore throat, feeling run down, and being so annoyed and ready to cry at everything. Every damn little thing. I don't think I'm running a fever, but who knows.
Additionally, I think my doctor would give me antibiotics anyhow, even if he couldn't find anything wrong, just to get me out of his office quickly, he would give me medicine.
Then I can fuck up my birth control, most likely get a yeast infection, and be taking antibiotics for no reason.
If it keeps up through Tuesday, I'm so making an appointment. Monday is going to be pretty lean around the office, and my doctor doesn't have to work on Fridays I guess. Probably golfing. Must be nice.
Asshole.
You know, that whole being poor thing?
We know we are heading to the fair tomorrow night and that we will spend money there, so I should not spend money tonight.
But really? It's all I seem to want to do.
First of all, I reminded Ben that we needed to have chicken tonight. 4 nights of dinner left planned, 3 of which are chicken.
He apparently has started to hate chicken. Which just means I'm going to have to find a way to replace that in our menu choice. It wouldn't be such a damn problem, but he HAS to cut off all the pieces that don't look fantastic to him. Every extra inch of white fat? Cut off. So he hates it because he makes it hard. Which is not very kind of me to say, but I'm still not feeling well so I'm not feeling very kind. Since he dislikes the chicken, we are going to be eating more of some other very processed food. The chicken was like...the healthiest thing I could think of, and even that is done with processed white rice.
Maybe we could just eat salad all the damn time? I think we would get sick of that too.
Nothing easy is good for us.
Those are just my ideas of course. I could be wrong. I mean, I'm the least healthy of us two; he barely weighs over 200. He does walk a lot. Perhaps I should walk all over the place too?
Since he hated the idea of chicken so much, I thought it over and called him back and offered to take us out to the Mission for dinner. I have a buy one get one free dinner, and so I thought it wouldn't be too extravagant.
Add on to that the fact that I didn't get to go there for my birthday dinner and it's already been a month, and I meant to go while Derek was gone. I just want my fucking birthday dinner dammit. ><
He vetoed the idea and mentioned how we probably shouldn't be spending extra money. So, no go.
I KNOW it makes sense, but I still feel a little cheated. Cheated out of a true birthday dinner. And maybe I should just be a freaking adult about it and not care, right?
The more childish part of me wants to wait until it's his birthday and then be like...well, we don't NEED birthday dinners right?
I won't be doing that of course, but I know some "holding a grudge" part of me will think it when we get there, next March. We'll have the money then cause of tax returns.
In the long run? He's perfectly right, I should not be spending the money. But I'm annoyed. I tried to come up with a solution and something nice for us, and it's a no go.
It's rather hard to be generous when you are tired (I don't know why, I slept fine last night, the first night I didn't wake up for no reason at 2 in the morning and toss and turn!), have a headache (that comes back the instant the medicine wears off. I KNOW I drank enough damn water today to avoid the dehydration headache), and just feel stupid in the head. I'm half convinced that I've actually managed to get some sort of damn infection, but for the life of me I don't know how. I wasn't ever sick, just this extremely low grade sore throat, feeling run down, and being so annoyed and ready to cry at everything. Every damn little thing. I don't think I'm running a fever, but who knows.
Additionally, I think my doctor would give me antibiotics anyhow, even if he couldn't find anything wrong, just to get me out of his office quickly, he would give me medicine.
Then I can fuck up my birth control, most likely get a yeast infection, and be taking antibiotics for no reason.
If it keeps up through Tuesday, I'm so making an appointment. Monday is going to be pretty lean around the office, and my doctor doesn't have to work on Fridays I guess. Probably golfing. Must be nice.
Asshole.
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