Just talking to him on the phone annoys me
I'm still very, very tired today, and I should probably just be sleeping right this very minute, but I can't.
Suck.
Do you know that one "Friends" where Rachel is pregnant and she is annoyed by Ross' very breathing? That's about how I feel. Annoyed because people exist and have to breath.
I realized the other day that I am far more of a bitch than I used to be. I wanted to go up to this woman on the bus and tell her "It's called birth control, you should use some", butnot wanting to get my ass kickedmy common sense won out.
But Jake? I swear, it's like a new thing every damn time I have to talk to him. In a civilized world where my kid knew how to use the phone I would not have to, but he seems to answer each time I call, and when he doesn't answer, Derek ALWAYS gives the phone back to him to hang up. And I always wait on the line, in case they actually want to talk to me. It would seem that they only talk to me cause by handing them the phone HE MAKES THEM TALK TO ME.
Which is fine with me, really. But I definitely like Karen more than I like Jake, and she has better manners. (She asks me questions, instead of telling me how I should raise our kid)
Everyone here knows my kid is 9, yes? Almost 10. And that he largely got to be that age because of ME? (Yes, I do have a god complex, I guess)
Jake seems to come up with stupid ass "advice", (or assvice, which I like better) each time I talk to him.
A few times ago, it was "Does Derek have dental insurance?" to which I said yes, but then braced myself. In all honesty? I'm a bad mother cause he screams so much when he goes to the dentist that I can't handle it and it's been awhile. So I'm waiting for him to say something awful, and he says...well, I think you might want to take him, I think he popped a filling.
Yes, cause Jake knows all about dental things. Look at his teeth.
Last Friday though, he said something along the lines of...well, you might want to get Derek some books.
Which was when I reached through the phone and ripped his head off.
Not really, obviously. Not on his birthday at that. I just bit my tongue and said..He HAS books.
Well, not the Harry Potter ones and apparently he is almost through with the one he was reading. Or maybe even through that one and on to the next? I told Jake that I would buy the next two later and left it at that.
I'm not sure if I'm more rankled by his "advice" or by his ability to get the kid to read. I guess they are bribing him with more video game time. I just figured they would try and make him read more, and it would totally not work cause if you MAKE a kid read, they don't usually like it. I figured he would come into the reading on his own.
Instead, Jake has "won" on that ground.
I shouldn't really be surprised by the advice, he used to pass on things his mom had said, like how she thought Derek might have a hearing problem. Oh believe me, he can hear you if he wants to. I know, cause I get "caught" all the time when I say something I shouldn't in the privacy of my own damn bedroom.
At least she never insisted that Derek must have ADHD, an affliction that both her younger children seem to have gotten while the other 6 didn't. I think she likes medicine as the answer to everything.
It's a good thing I don't live with Jake, cause one or the both of us would be certifiably insane by now. I realized the other day that it's been almost exactly (maybe to the day, today, WOW) 8 years since I lived with him. I moved out right after his 20th birthday, cause I'm nice like that.
Suck.
Do you know that one "Friends" where Rachel is pregnant and she is annoyed by Ross' very breathing? That's about how I feel. Annoyed because people exist and have to breath.
I realized the other day that I am far more of a bitch than I used to be. I wanted to go up to this woman on the bus and tell her "It's called birth control, you should use some", but
But Jake? I swear, it's like a new thing every damn time I have to talk to him. In a civilized world where my kid knew how to use the phone I would not have to, but he seems to answer each time I call, and when he doesn't answer, Derek ALWAYS gives the phone back to him to hang up. And I always wait on the line, in case they actually want to talk to me. It would seem that they only talk to me cause by handing them the phone HE MAKES THEM TALK TO ME.
Which is fine with me, really. But I definitely like Karen more than I like Jake, and she has better manners. (She asks me questions, instead of telling me how I should raise our kid)
Everyone here knows my kid is 9, yes? Almost 10. And that he largely got to be that age because of ME? (Yes, I do have a god complex, I guess)
Jake seems to come up with stupid ass "advice", (or assvice, which I like better) each time I talk to him.
A few times ago, it was "Does Derek have dental insurance?" to which I said yes, but then braced myself. In all honesty? I'm a bad mother cause he screams so much when he goes to the dentist that I can't handle it and it's been awhile. So I'm waiting for him to say something awful, and he says...well, I think you might want to take him, I think he popped a filling.
Yes, cause Jake knows all about dental things. Look at his teeth.
Last Friday though, he said something along the lines of...well, you might want to get Derek some books.
Which was when I reached through the phone and ripped his head off.
Not really, obviously. Not on his birthday at that. I just bit my tongue and said..He HAS books.
Well, not the Harry Potter ones and apparently he is almost through with the one he was reading. Or maybe even through that one and on to the next? I told Jake that I would buy the next two later and left it at that.
I'm not sure if I'm more rankled by his "advice" or by his ability to get the kid to read. I guess they are bribing him with more video game time. I just figured they would try and make him read more, and it would totally not work cause if you MAKE a kid read, they don't usually like it. I figured he would come into the reading on his own.
Instead, Jake has "won" on that ground.
I shouldn't really be surprised by the advice, he used to pass on things his mom had said, like how she thought Derek might have a hearing problem. Oh believe me, he can hear you if he wants to. I know, cause I get "caught" all the time when I say something I shouldn't in the privacy of my own damn bedroom.
At least she never insisted that Derek must have ADHD, an affliction that both her younger children seem to have gotten while the other 6 didn't. I think she likes medicine as the answer to everything.
It's a good thing I don't live with Jake, cause one or the both of us would be certifiably insane by now. I realized the other day that it's been almost exactly (maybe to the day, today, WOW) 8 years since I lived with him. I moved out right after his 20th birthday, cause I'm nice like that.
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