I'm full of teh suck today....
I posted things to MySpace this weekend that I neglected to post here. I'm trying, really fucking hard, to be positive..but I kind of feel like this has become my negative blog, the one I don't want people to see who are on my MySpace.
I may cross post them. They are so much fluff, like most of my MySpace entries.
Besides that one entry that I put as a 'preferred' blog only. Tammi got added, as she asked, I'll add people if they want, I just want to make sure that the understand these won't be happy, full of life and fun Desiree blogs. I guess I was wondering who would notice or care. Plus, I left it open to everyone for like a day, but I kept feeling sick to my stomach with worry that I was being too republican or something, so who knows who read it in the mean time and thought...damn that Desiree, she's being too republican. No one made any comments, besides Tammi.
In other news, the bump on my ass has returned. Yay for icky, bloody boils. This is the 3rd one in the same spot. I seem to have 3 in a row for some reason, and this one just came up quickly and popped within days, so I'm hoping this is the last one in that particular spot. It's something I should bring up with a Doctor, that's for sure. It just doesn't seem like an emergency. It's sore, sure, and it bleeds like a motherfucker, but I can still sit, so it's ok. Ha.
I'm just sick of getting blood on my underwear when I don't even have a goddamn period anymore. I'm sick of having to wear a HUGE band aid to cover it so that it covers almost my whole ass cheek and makes me feel like I'm wearing a diaper. It's not an easy place to bandage, and last time I didn't have to wear the bandage as long, so I'm REALLY hoping that by Wednesday this week, I can be bandage free. That's my main gripe, the weird bump on my skin. The bandage that irritates my other ass cheek, the grumpiness that entails.
Add all that on to a Section 8 inspection Wednesday, and I'm just so IRRITATED. I had to clean a bunch this weekend, shop on top of it, and I STILL have to clean, irritated ass or not. Derek's room is going to be scary. =(
The bathroom is scarier still.
I'm thankful for rent help, but damn! it feels like I have to continually fill out paperwork, parade people through my house, and keep all my t's crossed. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't sore from cleaning already and shopping, and then adding on to my poor butt cheeks.
Listen up butt cheek! I stopped dating the man who wanted to do naughty things to you in general, and while I may enjoy a quick slap on you from the current boyfriend, I DO NOT appreciate the random boil that I can't attend to easily.
Maybe talking to my body will actually help. I don't know..something has to, I can't keep doing this.
So, I'm grumpy from the get go today, I wish I could be at home soaking in a hot bath (if my tub was clean enough) and ignoring the soreness on my ass.
I had fun with Jenn on Friday, and I have plans with Tammi for pool and beer on Saturday - Hey Tammi, what say you to going out in the middle of the day? Like 2 or something? I know it's early for beer, but I'm thinking if we go out later we are going to have to fight people for a pool table, and while that may be entertaining, I'd think we'd lose cause I don't know how to fight. LOL.
Also - I've been labeling all my old posts from FOREVER ago, and man was I whiny. I bitched so much about Ben and all the stupid little crap and then once I decided that anybody reading it would think my boyfriend sucks when he really doesn't, I stopped blogging about every little minor annoyance. And now instead of being certain that my boyfriend is going to leave me, I have more confidence in him, in us, and I bitch about it less. I'm really happy about that. Jenn also mentioned that I had blogged about having weird Paul dreams a lot back then, and while I haven't run across them yet (I may have deleted them when I realized how stupid I sounded), I could totally see why I'd blog about it. I didn't know who else to talk to about it, so I talked to the Internet at large. I had a weird dream about him and his wife last night (it's not so weird that they were in my dream as I've been debating going to his birthday party next month. I feel like the invite was kinda from left field, so I've got to figure out if I want to go or not) but I'm really happy with this dream cause in the dream she mentioned that Paul still liked me, or wanted to be with me, and I was like...too bad. I never get that far in my dreams, I'm always like...what the hell do I do? But this time I had an answer. It's not likely that that will ever happen in my life really, but it was nice to have it happen in my dream, for me to be able to not care in my dream. To be offered, but to not care. It was awesome.
If only my skin could behave, I would be HAPPY today.
All right, back to cleaning. BOO! Hiss!
HOWEVER! My happy place is right here, and when I watch this I smile and feel better.
I may cross post them. They are so much fluff, like most of my MySpace entries.
Besides that one entry that I put as a 'preferred' blog only. Tammi got added, as she asked, I'll add people if they want, I just want to make sure that the understand these won't be happy, full of life and fun Desiree blogs. I guess I was wondering who would notice or care. Plus, I left it open to everyone for like a day, but I kept feeling sick to my stomach with worry that I was being too republican or something, so who knows who read it in the mean time and thought...damn that Desiree, she's being too republican. No one made any comments, besides Tammi.
In other news, the bump on my ass has returned. Yay for icky, bloody boils. This is the 3rd one in the same spot. I seem to have 3 in a row for some reason, and this one just came up quickly and popped within days, so I'm hoping this is the last one in that particular spot. It's something I should bring up with a Doctor, that's for sure. It just doesn't seem like an emergency. It's sore, sure, and it bleeds like a motherfucker, but I can still sit, so it's ok. Ha.
I'm just sick of getting blood on my underwear when I don't even have a goddamn period anymore. I'm sick of having to wear a HUGE band aid to cover it so that it covers almost my whole ass cheek and makes me feel like I'm wearing a diaper. It's not an easy place to bandage, and last time I didn't have to wear the bandage as long, so I'm REALLY hoping that by Wednesday this week, I can be bandage free. That's my main gripe, the weird bump on my skin. The bandage that irritates my other ass cheek, the grumpiness that entails.
Add all that on to a Section 8 inspection Wednesday, and I'm just so IRRITATED. I had to clean a bunch this weekend, shop on top of it, and I STILL have to clean, irritated ass or not. Derek's room is going to be scary. =(
The bathroom is scarier still.
I'm thankful for rent help, but damn! it feels like I have to continually fill out paperwork, parade people through my house, and keep all my t's crossed. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't sore from cleaning already and shopping, and then adding on to my poor butt cheeks.
Listen up butt cheek! I stopped dating the man who wanted to do naughty things to you in general, and while I may enjoy a quick slap on you from the current boyfriend, I DO NOT appreciate the random boil that I can't attend to easily.
Maybe talking to my body will actually help. I don't know..something has to, I can't keep doing this.
So, I'm grumpy from the get go today, I wish I could be at home soaking in a hot bath (if my tub was clean enough) and ignoring the soreness on my ass.
I had fun with Jenn on Friday, and I have plans with Tammi for pool and beer on Saturday - Hey Tammi, what say you to going out in the middle of the day? Like 2 or something? I know it's early for beer, but I'm thinking if we go out later we are going to have to fight people for a pool table, and while that may be entertaining, I'd think we'd lose cause I don't know how to fight. LOL.
Also - I've been labeling all my old posts from FOREVER ago, and man was I whiny. I bitched so much about Ben and all the stupid little crap and then once I decided that anybody reading it would think my boyfriend sucks when he really doesn't, I stopped blogging about every little minor annoyance. And now instead of being certain that my boyfriend is going to leave me, I have more confidence in him, in us, and I bitch about it less. I'm really happy about that. Jenn also mentioned that I had blogged about having weird Paul dreams a lot back then, and while I haven't run across them yet (I may have deleted them when I realized how stupid I sounded), I could totally see why I'd blog about it. I didn't know who else to talk to about it, so I talked to the Internet at large. I had a weird dream about him and his wife last night (it's not so weird that they were in my dream as I've been debating going to his birthday party next month. I feel like the invite was kinda from left field, so I've got to figure out if I want to go or not) but I'm really happy with this dream cause in the dream she mentioned that Paul still liked me, or wanted to be with me, and I was like...too bad. I never get that far in my dreams, I'm always like...what the hell do I do? But this time I had an answer. It's not likely that that will ever happen in my life really, but it was nice to have it happen in my dream, for me to be able to not care in my dream. To be offered, but to not care. It was awesome.
If only my skin could behave, I would be HAPPY today.
All right, back to cleaning. BOO! Hiss!
HOWEVER! My happy place is right here, and when I watch this I smile and feel better.
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