What Is Wrong With Me?
Don't answer that.
I've just been really down all day. The IRS acknowledges me again, Derek behaved for the two whole days he had school this week, I'll have money Friday if all goes well.
So, no having to pay rent late. I'm getting everything I wanted, so why do I feel so crappy today?
Was it that my stomach started rumbling the moment I got up? Was it the my ass exploded shortly after that? Maybe, but I should be used to that by now, I've never had a real solid stomach.
Was it that I painstakingly picked out two pairs of socks from the wash this morning, and dropped them along with my bra for the day in the dryer, and when I took them out the bra was not dry? Or was it that ten seconds later I lost one of the socks. I looked up or down, and no sock ANYWHERE.
Was it that Tara still wasn't at work today, and I am worried about her?
Was it that my leg has been rubbed (I won't saw rubbed raw, it's not as bad as that, but it's rubbed sore, if that makes any sense) sore, and that my pants seem to rub against it all day?
Was it the fact that I still have to have a bandage covering part of my butt cheek? Or is it the blocked gland that hurts to touch in the frontal area (something that's happened before and that time I DID go to the doctor to have them tell me that all I could do was apply hot wash cloths.)?
Was it the knowledge that even though my skin itches, I'm bandaged and it hurts to walk, plus my stomach roiling, I knew I was going to work?
People have been out sick left and right around here. I am like the ONLY person besides one other who hasn't called in sick in the last month. Maybe 3 other people.
That would be 4 people in an 18 person department that didn't call in sick during the month. This adds to the general stress of my job as I am then expected to cover this or that area for the day.
I think that's what it was. The fact that I didn't feel like I COULD call in sick. =(
I haven't since October and I STILL don't feel like I can any time soon. I just know that some people get scrutinized a lot more for calling in sick than others do. It seems like it's in direct proportion to what you do and what someone else may have to do while you're gone. Which follows with the whole extra stress theory I myself expressed above.
Was it that my stomach continued to roil all day? That added to it. That's for sure.
I don't think my mood was helped when new girl (who isn't a bitch on purpose, but is kind of a bitch without realizing - THE WORST KIND, it's so hard to just hate her all the time. I start to feel bad for her. See-Any of those relationships in my life where I befriended that person that everyone didn't like...usually only to find out that people didn't like them for a good reason.) offered to come in tomorrow. SHE wanted the day off, offered to work Saturday for it, and then was like...oh well, I COULD come in and then just take Friday off.
NO YOU CAN'T. I fixed the schedule around your RANDOM day off (that apparently does not actually matter to you and it would have been so much easier to have you here for the regular week), it is WAY too late to try and fix Friday so you can come in tomorrow JUST IN CASE so and so is out sick. I THINK she's trying to help, but it makes me feel like we can't survive without her and like she didn't really need the fucking day off in the first place.
Friday is going to be end of the month, crazy day, you CAN NOT take the day off.
She told me she wasn't trying to take Friday off, but it sure sounded like she was offering to switch days so WHAT DID SHE MEAN THEN? Not come in Saturday? I don't care if she comes in Saturday, she's just an extra person anyhow, and I don't think they'll miss her.
I'm so irritated now. My head hurts, my stomach is rolling, I need to stop thinking right about now.
Screw all that, maybe it's because even though I'll have money on Friday, I know I won't have as much to play with. I know that half of it is going to be gone before I can even say boo. =S
And maybe partly because I offered to take the boys to Sushi and I meant Friday so that I would feel like I had enough money to take the boys out to a slightly more expensive place than our usual, but they have to go to MAGIC and so they can not be bothered.
So no sushi, unless I want to go alone. Unless someone else wants to go too?
I have a VERY tentative plan of going and having a drink with a co-worker, but that's only if she doesn't find something very entertaining to do and see as how she is a college student, she probably will. =S
Poor me. I'm having a pity party today. The only kind of party I throw well.
I've just been really down all day. The IRS acknowledges me again, Derek behaved for the two whole days he had school this week, I'll have money Friday if all goes well.
So, no having to pay rent late. I'm getting everything I wanted, so why do I feel so crappy today?
Was it that my stomach started rumbling the moment I got up? Was it the my ass exploded shortly after that? Maybe, but I should be used to that by now, I've never had a real solid stomach.
Was it that I painstakingly picked out two pairs of socks from the wash this morning, and dropped them along with my bra for the day in the dryer, and when I took them out the bra was not dry? Or was it that ten seconds later I lost one of the socks. I looked up or down, and no sock ANYWHERE.
Was it that Tara still wasn't at work today, and I am worried about her?
Was it that my leg has been rubbed (I won't saw rubbed raw, it's not as bad as that, but it's rubbed sore, if that makes any sense) sore, and that my pants seem to rub against it all day?
Was it the fact that I still have to have a bandage covering part of my butt cheek? Or is it the blocked gland that hurts to touch in the frontal area (something that's happened before and that time I DID go to the doctor to have them tell me that all I could do was apply hot wash cloths.)?
Was it the knowledge that even though my skin itches, I'm bandaged and it hurts to walk, plus my stomach roiling, I knew I was going to work?
People have been out sick left and right around here. I am like the ONLY person besides one other who hasn't called in sick in the last month. Maybe 3 other people.
That would be 4 people in an 18 person department that didn't call in sick during the month. This adds to the general stress of my job as I am then expected to cover this or that area for the day.
I think that's what it was. The fact that I didn't feel like I COULD call in sick. =(
I haven't since October and I STILL don't feel like I can any time soon. I just know that some people get scrutinized a lot more for calling in sick than others do. It seems like it's in direct proportion to what you do and what someone else may have to do while you're gone. Which follows with the whole extra stress theory I myself expressed above.
Was it that my stomach continued to roil all day? That added to it. That's for sure.
I don't think my mood was helped when new girl (who isn't a bitch on purpose, but is kind of a bitch without realizing - THE WORST KIND, it's so hard to just hate her all the time. I start to feel bad for her. See-Any of those relationships in my life where I befriended that person that everyone didn't like...usually only to find out that people didn't like them for a good reason.) offered to come in tomorrow. SHE wanted the day off, offered to work Saturday for it, and then was like...oh well, I COULD come in and then just take Friday off.
NO YOU CAN'T. I fixed the schedule around your RANDOM day off (that apparently does not actually matter to you and it would have been so much easier to have you here for the regular week), it is WAY too late to try and fix Friday so you can come in tomorrow JUST IN CASE so and so is out sick. I THINK she's trying to help, but it makes me feel like we can't survive without her and like she didn't really need the fucking day off in the first place.
Friday is going to be end of the month, crazy day, you CAN NOT take the day off.
She told me she wasn't trying to take Friday off, but it sure sounded like she was offering to switch days so WHAT DID SHE MEAN THEN? Not come in Saturday? I don't care if she comes in Saturday, she's just an extra person anyhow, and I don't think they'll miss her.
I'm so irritated now. My head hurts, my stomach is rolling, I need to stop thinking right about now.
Screw all that, maybe it's because even though I'll have money on Friday, I know I won't have as much to play with. I know that half of it is going to be gone before I can even say boo. =S
And maybe partly because I offered to take the boys to Sushi and I meant Friday so that I would feel like I had enough money to take the boys out to a slightly more expensive place than our usual, but they have to go to MAGIC and so they can not be bothered.
So no sushi, unless I want to go alone. Unless someone else wants to go too?
I have a VERY tentative plan of going and having a drink with a co-worker, but that's only if she doesn't find something very entertaining to do and see as how she is a college student, she probably will. =S
Poor me. I'm having a pity party today. The only kind of party I throw well.
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