I can't believe...

that I am gonna end my day crying and wondering what the hell the purpose of my life is. The day started off funny. It really did, it just didn't stay that way.

I don't know that last time he initiated anything, most of the time when he talks to me he sounds like he is disgusted by how little I know, or else he sounds impatient and irritated.

Not that I need a man to be happy, it's just that there isn't much else.

Work doesn't do it, the kid isn't here right now. My friends are all busy. And I am too lazy to go anywhere. I should just stop bitching. I was tempted to email him and let him know all this, but then I just make him feel like I feel, and that solves nothing. Instead, I would like to scream, or throw things around the room. What I will do is just cry until I have a pounding headache and then tomorrow I should be normal again.

It's really pointless, and I thought I was beyond feeling like this anymore. I thought this was a teenage thing. Dark, and depression, and it's just crap.

Maybe if I just bawl I will feel better and then tomorrow people can ask me if I am ok all day.

I'll have funny stories tomorrow. I had funny stories today, but I'm just not feeling it.

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