There’s nothing quite like "mom guilt"...
Meaning my own over not realizing that my kid's tooth nerve was exposed to the world. I'm trying really hard to reign it in. Over all? I'm doing much better over the physical aspect, it bothered me for awhile that his smile would not be perfect anymore, though I did not say that out loud to Derek (my boy will have a complex enough, I'm sure, being my kid, inheriting my endlessly thinking brain) nor really out loud to much of anyone. Just mentioned it here and to a few friends, close friends.
So I'm doing better with the physical look, which is strange, cause it's way more noticeable now than it was before. Perhaps it's just relief that it is taken care of? This kind of guilt (which is ridiculous, I do realize that in my head, but my feelings are a different matter altogether) is painful to deal with. Like I should have known my kid was having a major problem, even though he wasn't in major pain. Perhaps I just don't let him show me his pain? I know that sometimes when he has a headache, I make him drink water and other things before I give him medicine. That seems logical to me, but maybe that makes him think that I don't believe he's in pain?
I don't think I've felt this guilty since Derek was a small one and got strep throat and I didn't know for a week. He was too little to explain much, and I knew he had a fever, but he was still eating...it was only after that week and a rash developed (strep rash, who knew?) that I took him to the doctor. This is in direct contrast to my over protectiveness, so I have to believe that I called the doctor and consulted with him...but I don't quite remember. All I remember is the guilt that my child could have been given medicine that much faster and gotten over strep that much faster. This coupled with my tendency to develop strep throat made me feel super guilty. The next day I got the strep throat too, so I suppose I should feel like I did penance?
Mom guilt is so rampant with me. I'm always worried about things..like if I'm spending enough quality time with him, if I'm babying him too much, if I'm being super over protective, if I'm being grumpy and petty out of habit....I get quite sick of the guilt worries.
I guess all I can do is what I know and wait and see how he turns out. I'm hoping for a mix of independence and yet still having some mommy love for me. I don't want him to not get out and explore the world, I just want to make sure that he comes back and visits occasionally. It's a hard line to walk...being "mean" so that he wants to grow up and get his own place, or being "soft" and end up having a child who doesn't make his own way in the world.
Plus, I have to make sure I'm not so "mean" that he actually ends up hating me. I guess I knew parenting would be hard, I just didn't know how hard and how many little things you have to take into account.
So I'm doing better with the physical look, which is strange, cause it's way more noticeable now than it was before. Perhaps it's just relief that it is taken care of? This kind of guilt (which is ridiculous, I do realize that in my head, but my feelings are a different matter altogether) is painful to deal with. Like I should have known my kid was having a major problem, even though he wasn't in major pain. Perhaps I just don't let him show me his pain? I know that sometimes when he has a headache, I make him drink water and other things before I give him medicine. That seems logical to me, but maybe that makes him think that I don't believe he's in pain?
I don't think I've felt this guilty since Derek was a small one and got strep throat and I didn't know for a week. He was too little to explain much, and I knew he had a fever, but he was still eating...it was only after that week and a rash developed (strep rash, who knew?) that I took him to the doctor. This is in direct contrast to my over protectiveness, so I have to believe that I called the doctor and consulted with him...but I don't quite remember. All I remember is the guilt that my child could have been given medicine that much faster and gotten over strep that much faster. This coupled with my tendency to develop strep throat made me feel super guilty. The next day I got the strep throat too, so I suppose I should feel like I did penance?
Mom guilt is so rampant with me. I'm always worried about things..like if I'm spending enough quality time with him, if I'm babying him too much, if I'm being super over protective, if I'm being grumpy and petty out of habit....I get quite sick of the guilt worries.
I guess all I can do is what I know and wait and see how he turns out. I'm hoping for a mix of independence and yet still having some mommy love for me. I don't want him to not get out and explore the world, I just want to make sure that he comes back and visits occasionally. It's a hard line to walk...being "mean" so that he wants to grow up and get his own place, or being "soft" and end up having a child who doesn't make his own way in the world.
Plus, I have to make sure I'm not so "mean" that he actually ends up hating me. I guess I knew parenting would be hard, I just didn't know how hard and how many little things you have to take into account.
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