A little unladylike, what can I say?
So far, I've had a pretty good year. I know it's only...well, about a week into it. But a whole good week? That is awesome.
Besides the falling down on New Years Eve. That wasn't very fun.
But it's a whole new year and it just feels fresh. I don't know how to explain it.
Last year I learned more about myself, about my kid, about Ben, about friends. Really, we are all continually learning and I'm fine with that. Unstructured learning works for me, seeing as how I wasn't so good at high school. =)
I've connected with even more "relatives", just today. I put that in quotes cause technically, they are not relatives. They just feel like my relatives. My kid came back at the beginning of this week. I think he grew like half a foot! All of the sudden, his shirts aren't even fitting. I got used to his pants being high all of the sudden, but not the shirts. Clothes shopping is going to be order shortly.
And it's a new year, which means tax season, which is pretty awesome, really. (Is that enough commas?)
Then I found a cheap hoodie to replace the one Derek left in Portland. It was 5 whole dollars, and so much better than the 20 dollars I kept running into trying to find something easy at work.
I have to work tomorrow, but that's ok. I get Friday off instead and that means three day weekend. Maybe then I will actually stop being worried and dye my hair. Just hope that I don't fry it too much, k?
I'm half considering chickening out and going darker instead. Something without the lightening (and extremely hair killing) agents used. That way I could have a matching head of hair, but I like the blond. I thought about Burgundy, like I used to do, but it always fades. It's awesome for that first couple of days and then orange. =(
Not that last year wasn't good to me. It was. Each year seems to get a little better and even, dare I say, easier? Derek is getting older and more of a person which is just amusing to me. He still has annoying little kid habits, I'm pretty sure they all do. See, most people have a favorite age for kids. I like babies. Which they are for so short of a time. Too short. I am liking the "older" aspect to his personality, but I'll say that 3 - 5 just didn't make much sense to me. He'd do something and I'd wonder why he might be trying to kill himself or hurt himself and he never really had an answer. That stage was hard. I'm hoping him being a teenager doesn't totally suck.
Can you imagine? Someday he'll have a MySpace or whatever passes for the best in those days. He'll be like...don't friend me mom. That's embarassing. *smirk*
He doesn't know a lot of the internet yet. I'm pretty sure he's not ready for it. I find myself thinking..well, when I was that age, I was doing this or that, and he doesn't seem like he is that "grown up"? I guess that's the word I am looking for. When I was 10, I tried to read It. I didn't finish it, but I started. And he doesn't really like the reading as much as me. Or at least not yet. Then I need to remind myself that girls mature faster and that maybe I was a little more adult faster than I needed to be. I was so rushing towards being a teenager. Just ready to be so grown up. I've been trying to get him into books that I used to read. Sadly, he didn't care much for Sideways Stories from Wayside School, or Encyclopedia Brown. I keep trying but he's only liked a few that I've introduced him to. He liked Bunnicula, and he liked The Phantom Toolbooth, though I'm pretty sure he didn't get most of the plays on the language. Like the Whether man. Or the Which. Perhaps he'll get it later, and perhaps I should be happy that he is not trying to read Stephen King books. It's just strange, cause I basically devoured books. Maybe I'll find something he really loves to read.
Again, there is still plenty of time for him to grow up even more. It's just really weird to think...9?..I'm halfway there, halfway to 18. Already?
Before I know it, I'll be posting something about the next new year. I've been thinking a bit about it this morning and wouldn't it be weird when it's 2010? And yet it'll be here before we know it.
Makes my mind spin a bit.
While Derek hasn't picked up my voracious reading appetite, he has picked up at least one of my neuroses. He says "sweet dreams" every night and I HAVE to say it back to him. That is all me. I used to have to say that. I'd get weird nightmares (see: reading Stephen King reference above), and if I said "sweet dreams" to my mom and she said it back then I would usually not have any bad dreams. Presumably he is doing the same thing. From the other side, I can see where it can be exasperating, especially when he says it again, after forgetting that he said it. Or maybe it's the last thing he has to say before he goes to bed? I don't know, but I suppose as long as he knows how to make sure he feels safe, I'll keep saying sweet dreams. He, however, immediately follows it up with see you in the morning, and I have to repeat that. One night I was like...no, I've said it, or maybe I was just grumpy, but he kept begging me to say it, so I finally did. Somewhat obsessive compulsive, maybe? It's even gotten to the point where he will yell out to Ben, who is usually in a different room, that he will seems him in the afternoon. It is partly exasperating, but also a little like..whoa..He has a lot of faith in us. If we say we'll see him the next day, he just knows that he will. And we always have been. I hope we always will be.
Anyhow. I've been rambling here for a bit. Practicing my own special psychiatry. Some sort of view into someone's mind. Perhaps anyone, cause it's really all speculation. I don't really know if that's how he feels, I am merely guessing. But really? People fascinate me. I might have gone to school to be a "shrink" if it hadn't taken a heck of a lot more time. Accounting is practical. As of October, I'd been there 4 years. Again, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago. That's almost half a decade. Maybe I'm just sitting here going around inside my brain cause I am getting older and time seems to be flying? Who knows.
Besides the falling down on New Years Eve. That wasn't very fun.
But it's a whole new year and it just feels fresh. I don't know how to explain it.
Last year I learned more about myself, about my kid, about Ben, about friends. Really, we are all continually learning and I'm fine with that. Unstructured learning works for me, seeing as how I wasn't so good at high school. =)
I've connected with even more "relatives", just today. I put that in quotes cause technically, they are not relatives. They just feel like my relatives. My kid came back at the beginning of this week. I think he grew like half a foot! All of the sudden, his shirts aren't even fitting. I got used to his pants being high all of the sudden, but not the shirts. Clothes shopping is going to be order shortly.
And it's a new year, which means tax season, which is pretty awesome, really. (Is that enough commas?)
Then I found a cheap hoodie to replace the one Derek left in Portland. It was 5 whole dollars, and so much better than the 20 dollars I kept running into trying to find something easy at work.
I have to work tomorrow, but that's ok. I get Friday off instead and that means three day weekend. Maybe then I will actually stop being worried and dye my hair. Just hope that I don't fry it too much, k?
I'm half considering chickening out and going darker instead. Something without the lightening (and extremely hair killing) agents used. That way I could have a matching head of hair, but I like the blond. I thought about Burgundy, like I used to do, but it always fades. It's awesome for that first couple of days and then orange. =(
Not that last year wasn't good to me. It was. Each year seems to get a little better and even, dare I say, easier? Derek is getting older and more of a person which is just amusing to me. He still has annoying little kid habits, I'm pretty sure they all do. See, most people have a favorite age for kids. I like babies. Which they are for so short of a time. Too short. I am liking the "older" aspect to his personality, but I'll say that 3 - 5 just didn't make much sense to me. He'd do something and I'd wonder why he might be trying to kill himself or hurt himself and he never really had an answer. That stage was hard. I'm hoping him being a teenager doesn't totally suck.
Can you imagine? Someday he'll have a MySpace or whatever passes for the best in those days. He'll be like...don't friend me mom. That's embarassing. *smirk*
He doesn't know a lot of the internet yet. I'm pretty sure he's not ready for it. I find myself thinking..well, when I was that age, I was doing this or that, and he doesn't seem like he is that "grown up"? I guess that's the word I am looking for. When I was 10, I tried to read It. I didn't finish it, but I started. And he doesn't really like the reading as much as me. Or at least not yet. Then I need to remind myself that girls mature faster and that maybe I was a little more adult faster than I needed to be. I was so rushing towards being a teenager. Just ready to be so grown up. I've been trying to get him into books that I used to read. Sadly, he didn't care much for Sideways Stories from Wayside School, or Encyclopedia Brown. I keep trying but he's only liked a few that I've introduced him to. He liked Bunnicula, and he liked The Phantom Toolbooth, though I'm pretty sure he didn't get most of the plays on the language. Like the Whether man. Or the Which. Perhaps he'll get it later, and perhaps I should be happy that he is not trying to read Stephen King books. It's just strange, cause I basically devoured books. Maybe I'll find something he really loves to read.
Again, there is still plenty of time for him to grow up even more. It's just really weird to think...9?..I'm halfway there, halfway to 18. Already?
Before I know it, I'll be posting something about the next new year. I've been thinking a bit about it this morning and wouldn't it be weird when it's 2010? And yet it'll be here before we know it.
Makes my mind spin a bit.
While Derek hasn't picked up my voracious reading appetite, he has picked up at least one of my neuroses. He says "sweet dreams" every night and I HAVE to say it back to him. That is all me. I used to have to say that. I'd get weird nightmares (see: reading Stephen King reference above), and if I said "sweet dreams" to my mom and she said it back then I would usually not have any bad dreams. Presumably he is doing the same thing. From the other side, I can see where it can be exasperating, especially when he says it again, after forgetting that he said it. Or maybe it's the last thing he has to say before he goes to bed? I don't know, but I suppose as long as he knows how to make sure he feels safe, I'll keep saying sweet dreams. He, however, immediately follows it up with see you in the morning, and I have to repeat that. One night I was like...no, I've said it, or maybe I was just grumpy, but he kept begging me to say it, so I finally did. Somewhat obsessive compulsive, maybe? It's even gotten to the point where he will yell out to Ben, who is usually in a different room, that he will seems him in the afternoon. It is partly exasperating, but also a little like..whoa..He has a lot of faith in us. If we say we'll see him the next day, he just knows that he will. And we always have been. I hope we always will be.
Anyhow. I've been rambling here for a bit. Practicing my own special psychiatry. Some sort of view into someone's mind. Perhaps anyone, cause it's really all speculation. I don't really know if that's how he feels, I am merely guessing. But really? People fascinate me. I might have gone to school to be a "shrink" if it hadn't taken a heck of a lot more time. Accounting is practical. As of October, I'd been there 4 years. Again, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago. That's almost half a decade. Maybe I'm just sitting here going around inside my brain cause I am getting older and time seems to be flying? Who knows.
Comments
(Jeez, I almost just parroted it back, via typing. I'm so used to it.)