Get On To The Bus, That's Gonna Take You Back To Beelzebub.
I've been rather loathe to leave my house most of my life.
It's gotten worse lately. I don't even want to walk out the door some days. I don't know if I think the world is out to get me (PARANOIA!), or if I just hate most people that much, or maybe I just hate my "public" clothes. I can wear shorts and tank tops that I would not normally wear outside when I am inside my house.
I think the bus plays a large part some times. I ride the bus to work 5 days a week. This equals out to 10 bus trips and usually I have to ride 2 buses each time. 20 different buses in a week, and I start to hate the whole bus system. People smell bad, I even ran into chicken guy on the EMX last week. I hate chicken guy.
In the morning, it's usually not so bad.
In the evening though? Sucks ass.
A lot. People are generally more asshole-y as the day wears on.
I avoid taking the bus at almost all costs otherwise.
For instance, I was sitting around reading some back history on someone's blog last night while the boys were gone. Being generally lazy and not even showering. Then we got a call back from a friend we had been trying to reach who we owed some money to. Or two calls back. call backs? However that works. I didn't make it to either and I wasn't sure what to say anyhow. It's not a problem of not having the money, merely that Ben was going to go handle it and I didn't want to get on the bus and go anywhere that day. On my one day off. (Yes, I had to work today. Or more like, I arranged to work today so that I can have Friday off.)
Then I realized that I should not be that stupid. This guy is a very nice guy and I should just call him back and get on the damn bus. I showered, sang along loudly with my music, got ready and called him. Everything even worked out right. He was at home, the bus would be coming soon, I just had to be ready.
I got to the bus stop WAY early. I hadn't realized it left that late after 7, so I waited for a while. Time enough to lotion up my legs, lotion my hands, and calm down. None of that helped. I was SHAKING when I got on the bus. And it wasn't even a bad bus ride, I just hate the bus that much. I suppose I could chalk it up to something else, but I don't know what. Maybe too much coffee? I had just ate, so it wasn't hunger. I was just shaking, for no reason.
Which makes people ask me if I am all right. Those same people who I don't want to talk to. LOL.
By the time I got downtown, I was feeling better.
I SHOULD have went to VRC and got pants yesterday and had I realized I would be going into Eugene anyhow, I might have left earlier, but I was still avoiding. Even though pants are more than a little bit important. Just to give you some idea how much I hate the bus.
I got to the guy's house, did what I needed to do, it took about ten seconds, so I had to wait downtown for a while before going home. Another part of the bus I hate. Waiting.
And I felt super accomplished when I got home, all over a silly bus ride. Ben and Derek got home about 20 minutes later, so I didn't really have all that much time to be bored. They are going out on Friday though. The day after my birthday. *cry*
Oh well. Maybe I'll adventure out somewhere on the bus. It can't be as bad as my body seems to think, right?
I even have headphones with which to drown out the stupidest people, cause boy there are some stupid people.
I'm not sure when it became such a problem with me, but I can ride the bus a lot easier when I am riding with someone. Like if I'm bringing Derek, I spend too much time worrying about him behaving to worry and get stressed about the bus ride. And if Ben comes, then I can just talk to him and it distracts me enough.
The only problem is when I have neither boys. Tara had called me and asked if I wanted to come hang out with her and her boys, but I didn't want to ride the bus even that far. =(
Why do I have to put up with people sitting right next to you and not caring at all about my personal space? Or smelling like they never shower? The EMX is the worst, since it's free and drunk people get on all the time. Yes, I drink, but DAMN! I hope I never smell like days old beer.
The Gateway bus is bad on the weekends when all the teenagers (hating summer) are on it. They are a bunch of foul mouthed mean idiots.
I never know how to tie these things up. It sucks that it bothers me to leave the house?
It's gotten worse lately. I don't even want to walk out the door some days. I don't know if I think the world is out to get me (PARANOIA!), or if I just hate most people that much, or maybe I just hate my "public" clothes. I can wear shorts and tank tops that I would not normally wear outside when I am inside my house.
I think the bus plays a large part some times. I ride the bus to work 5 days a week. This equals out to 10 bus trips and usually I have to ride 2 buses each time. 20 different buses in a week, and I start to hate the whole bus system. People smell bad, I even ran into chicken guy on the EMX last week. I hate chicken guy.
In the morning, it's usually not so bad.
In the evening though? Sucks ass.
A lot. People are generally more asshole-y as the day wears on.
I avoid taking the bus at almost all costs otherwise.
For instance, I was sitting around reading some back history on someone's blog last night while the boys were gone. Being generally lazy and not even showering. Then we got a call back from a friend we had been trying to reach who we owed some money to. Or two calls back. call backs? However that works. I didn't make it to either and I wasn't sure what to say anyhow. It's not a problem of not having the money, merely that Ben was going to go handle it and I didn't want to get on the bus and go anywhere that day. On my one day off. (Yes, I had to work today. Or more like, I arranged to work today so that I can have Friday off.)
Then I realized that I should not be that stupid. This guy is a very nice guy and I should just call him back and get on the damn bus. I showered, sang along loudly with my music, got ready and called him. Everything even worked out right. He was at home, the bus would be coming soon, I just had to be ready.
I got to the bus stop WAY early. I hadn't realized it left that late after 7, so I waited for a while. Time enough to lotion up my legs, lotion my hands, and calm down. None of that helped. I was SHAKING when I got on the bus. And it wasn't even a bad bus ride, I just hate the bus that much. I suppose I could chalk it up to something else, but I don't know what. Maybe too much coffee? I had just ate, so it wasn't hunger. I was just shaking, for no reason.
Which makes people ask me if I am all right. Those same people who I don't want to talk to. LOL.
By the time I got downtown, I was feeling better.
I SHOULD have went to VRC and got pants yesterday and had I realized I would be going into Eugene anyhow, I might have left earlier, but I was still avoiding. Even though pants are more than a little bit important. Just to give you some idea how much I hate the bus.
I got to the guy's house, did what I needed to do, it took about ten seconds, so I had to wait downtown for a while before going home. Another part of the bus I hate. Waiting.
And I felt super accomplished when I got home, all over a silly bus ride. Ben and Derek got home about 20 minutes later, so I didn't really have all that much time to be bored. They are going out on Friday though. The day after my birthday. *cry*
Oh well. Maybe I'll adventure out somewhere on the bus. It can't be as bad as my body seems to think, right?
I even have headphones with which to drown out the stupidest people, cause boy there are some stupid people.
I'm not sure when it became such a problem with me, but I can ride the bus a lot easier when I am riding with someone. Like if I'm bringing Derek, I spend too much time worrying about him behaving to worry and get stressed about the bus ride. And if Ben comes, then I can just talk to him and it distracts me enough.
The only problem is when I have neither boys. Tara had called me and asked if I wanted to come hang out with her and her boys, but I didn't want to ride the bus even that far. =(
Why do I have to put up with people sitting right next to you and not caring at all about my personal space? Or smelling like they never shower? The EMX is the worst, since it's free and drunk people get on all the time. Yes, I drink, but DAMN! I hope I never smell like days old beer.
The Gateway bus is bad on the weekends when all the teenagers (hating summer) are on it. They are a bunch of foul mouthed mean idiots.
I never know how to tie these things up. It sucks that it bothers me to leave the house?
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