Maybe I’m Dumb..
I ALMOST feel normal right now. I felt pretty normal last night too, almost to the point of being optimistic about my back maybe not hurting anymore.
But this morning was rough, as evidenced by my early morning blog here. I feel better, perhaps it's because it's more stretched out than it was this morning?
I don't know..it could have been that I got less than 6 hours of sleep after I could finally fall asleep last night, and then woke myself up at 5:25 with a tummy ache. Stupid frozen Mac-N-Cheese. =( It always affects my stomach that way, but it's so YUMMY.
Right now, this moment, I feel almost normal. Like my back isn't even a problem. I'm going to continue to try and hold my body the right way so that I don't re-injure the spot. I'm going to be super careful about everything, including pushing myself...which I do too much.
I very much want to not be in pain during my birthday.
It's just that I know that moving in any way wrong will send off a fresh twinge. And it's bad. My whole body freezes when my back twinges. I can feel it in my thighs when it happens. My whole lower body is sore from re-adjusting my body to not put pressure on that one damn spot.
I've always had back problems, I REALLY went out of control when I did that one stupid thing at work 6 years ago. Since then it doesn't take much to make it hurt this bad.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should NOT have done that stupid thing at work. I should have swallowed my damn pride and asked for help.
Meh. It's too late now. And I think most of you know how loathe I am to ask for help. I used to tell people "I'm not an invalid" when they would try to help me when I was pregnant. A time when I should have allowed myself to be spoiled.
OK. Enough shit about my back.
Today at work actually went well. Someone called in, but it turned out that we didn't really need her, and that means we had one less person to deal with. I LIKE working on the weekends, as it's a lot calmer than during the week.
When I started my "work week", I was looking at 64 hours. As of right now, I only have a regular 40 hours to go. After tomorrow, which should go fast, I'll be halfway there! WOOT!
I'm going to get a fat paycheck, sadly, it won't be until the 21st. Well after my birthday party. I'll just need to adjust accordingly, and perhaps Ben and I can go out and have dinner when I get paid, and maybe even have a bar night before the kid gets home. =)
Speaking of my kid. He's doing great. Not real sure about living with another child, I think. He's torn. I think he'll be more excited about it when she is a couple more years older? Unless he's just a sullen teen by then. They are off camping for a week, and going to stop by on the way back to Portland next Friday. So I get to see my kid before my birthday!
But this morning was rough, as evidenced by my early morning blog here. I feel better, perhaps it's because it's more stretched out than it was this morning?
I don't know..it could have been that I got less than 6 hours of sleep after I could finally fall asleep last night, and then woke myself up at 5:25 with a tummy ache. Stupid frozen Mac-N-Cheese. =( It always affects my stomach that way, but it's so YUMMY.
Right now, this moment, I feel almost normal. Like my back isn't even a problem. I'm going to continue to try and hold my body the right way so that I don't re-injure the spot. I'm going to be super careful about everything, including pushing myself...which I do too much.
I very much want to not be in pain during my birthday.
It's just that I know that moving in any way wrong will send off a fresh twinge. And it's bad. My whole body freezes when my back twinges. I can feel it in my thighs when it happens. My whole lower body is sore from re-adjusting my body to not put pressure on that one damn spot.
I've always had back problems, I REALLY went out of control when I did that one stupid thing at work 6 years ago. Since then it doesn't take much to make it hurt this bad.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should NOT have done that stupid thing at work. I should have swallowed my damn pride and asked for help.
Meh. It's too late now. And I think most of you know how loathe I am to ask for help. I used to tell people "I'm not an invalid" when they would try to help me when I was pregnant. A time when I should have allowed myself to be spoiled.
OK. Enough shit about my back.
Today at work actually went well. Someone called in, but it turned out that we didn't really need her, and that means we had one less person to deal with. I LIKE working on the weekends, as it's a lot calmer than during the week.
When I started my "work week", I was looking at 64 hours. As of right now, I only have a regular 40 hours to go. After tomorrow, which should go fast, I'll be halfway there! WOOT!
I'm going to get a fat paycheck, sadly, it won't be until the 21st. Well after my birthday party. I'll just need to adjust accordingly, and perhaps Ben and I can go out and have dinner when I get paid, and maybe even have a bar night before the kid gets home. =)
Speaking of my kid. He's doing great. Not real sure about living with another child, I think. He's torn. I think he'll be more excited about it when she is a couple more years older? Unless he's just a sullen teen by then. They are off camping for a week, and going to stop by on the way back to Portland next Friday. So I get to see my kid before my birthday!
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