Well, that's depressing. Or not so depressing.
(You've been warned, this is more of a multi subject post, very rambly. Sorry.)
I just went to check out my monthly payment for my school loans, see how much I needed to pay this month and when it was due and all that.
I signed up for an email reminder, but it either got flagged as spam, or I deleted it without realizing. Which makes it rather hard to pay it, right?
My payments went up, based on last year's income, and that is fine. Completely to be expected. However, my payments don't even cover the interest each month. My student loan balance, is, in effect, getting bigger and not smaller.
=(
I'll just be paying on that fucker forever, I guess. Regular payments are like....almost twice what I pay now. And I just can't afford that monthly. =(
The whole thing makes me sad.
Aside from that, um, I wanted to mention that I actually have CHRISTMAS cards this year. I am not one for mailing much, but I bought a BUNCH last year when they went on sale and I am SO sending out Christmas Cards. All I need is an address if you'd like one. I think most of you have my email, but if not it's d.shewhoshallnotbenamed@gmail.com.
Could that be any longer?
Not really.
I know that Supernanny isn't made to make me feel better about myself as a parent, but it's a neat side effect. It's like a fucking train wreck and I can not look away. It makes me happy that some things are things I already thought of. Like putting myself on Time Out. Getting worked up and yelling never gets me anywhere. Putting myself on time out works. He's always faintly surprised when I do it to myself. And it's almost like punishment to him, cause I just don't look at him or talk to him. I go outside, or in my bedroom. I get very angry very quickly somedays. I don't know if it's cause it's what I saw growing up, or if it's just me. Maybe I'm just a very angry person. It makes me happy that I'm doing something about it.
And one last thing...
pssst.
Can you keep a secret? My dream last night was strange, like usual. But this time it was decidedly X-rated. I don't often have sex dreams. I might have a kissing dream, or I might have a dream where it feels like it's leading to sex, but then I always miss that part. Last night, I was luckier than that.
I went to a Hot Tub with a friend (not actually any friend I've ever been to the hot tub with before) and she was coming on to me. And I was like...UM...OK, cause duh! Girls are cute and I might as well get some in my dreams. It wasn't anything over the top, she just....um. Well. I'm almost a little shy about this, so I'm not going into specific details. Suffice to say, I did reach orgasm and afterwards, realized that SOMEHOW, a bunch of people were in the hot tub with us. People we knew and who had just wandered in when I had lost track of reality.
They didn't seem surprised.
I was embarassed for about two seconds, before I realized...well, hell, they were the ones who came into the room and stayed when I was obviously not in the right mind to keep them out right then. And if they were not gonna be surprised than why should I be.
I just hope I don't get all stupid and blushy around this person the next time I see them. I can reason as to why, seeing as how she is very cute and I could see being extremely comfortable with her, even if naked, and in a somewhat compromising position.
Anyhow. I think I'm blushing right now, so I'm gonna leave it at that. No, it wasn't anyone who reads this, I swear that much. I'm just not gonna tell you who it was. I'm obviously a little embarassed and pretty sure she doesn't go that way. So god forbid, she found out about my sex dream about her. It could make things uncomfortable. And that would make me sad.
But it was a VERY GOOD DREAM.
I just went to check out my monthly payment for my school loans, see how much I needed to pay this month and when it was due and all that.
I signed up for an email reminder, but it either got flagged as spam, or I deleted it without realizing. Which makes it rather hard to pay it, right?
My payments went up, based on last year's income, and that is fine. Completely to be expected. However, my payments don't even cover the interest each month. My student loan balance, is, in effect, getting bigger and not smaller.
=(
I'll just be paying on that fucker forever, I guess. Regular payments are like....almost twice what I pay now. And I just can't afford that monthly. =(
The whole thing makes me sad.
Aside from that, um, I wanted to mention that I actually have CHRISTMAS cards this year. I am not one for mailing much, but I bought a BUNCH last year when they went on sale and I am SO sending out Christmas Cards. All I need is an address if you'd like one. I think most of you have my email, but if not it's d.shewhoshallnotbenamed@gmail.com.
Could that be any longer?
Not really.
I know that Supernanny isn't made to make me feel better about myself as a parent, but it's a neat side effect. It's like a fucking train wreck and I can not look away. It makes me happy that some things are things I already thought of. Like putting myself on Time Out. Getting worked up and yelling never gets me anywhere. Putting myself on time out works. He's always faintly surprised when I do it to myself. And it's almost like punishment to him, cause I just don't look at him or talk to him. I go outside, or in my bedroom. I get very angry very quickly somedays. I don't know if it's cause it's what I saw growing up, or if it's just me. Maybe I'm just a very angry person. It makes me happy that I'm doing something about it.
And one last thing...
pssst.
Can you keep a secret? My dream last night was strange, like usual. But this time it was decidedly X-rated. I don't often have sex dreams. I might have a kissing dream, or I might have a dream where it feels like it's leading to sex, but then I always miss that part. Last night, I was luckier than that.
I went to a Hot Tub with a friend (not actually any friend I've ever been to the hot tub with before) and she was coming on to me. And I was like...UM...OK, cause duh! Girls are cute and I might as well get some in my dreams. It wasn't anything over the top, she just....um. Well. I'm almost a little shy about this, so I'm not going into specific details. Suffice to say, I did reach orgasm and afterwards, realized that SOMEHOW, a bunch of people were in the hot tub with us. People we knew and who had just wandered in when I had lost track of reality.
They didn't seem surprised.
I was embarassed for about two seconds, before I realized...well, hell, they were the ones who came into the room and stayed when I was obviously not in the right mind to keep them out right then. And if they were not gonna be surprised than why should I be.
I just hope I don't get all stupid and blushy around this person the next time I see them. I can reason as to why, seeing as how she is very cute and I could see being extremely comfortable with her, even if naked, and in a somewhat compromising position.
Anyhow. I think I'm blushing right now, so I'm gonna leave it at that. No, it wasn't anyone who reads this, I swear that much. I'm just not gonna tell you who it was. I'm obviously a little embarassed and pretty sure she doesn't go that way. So god forbid, she found out about my sex dream about her. It could make things uncomfortable. And that would make me sad.
But it was a VERY GOOD DREAM.
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