Christmas, Christmas time is near, Time for Toys, and Time for Cheer.
disclaimer - (Any reference to Thursday was LAST Thursday. I saw it before and now I can't find Thursday to edit and I can't spend all damn night.)
Derek's pageant was SO cute. Ben invited his mom along, so that we got some holiday time with her. He had an ulterior motive though. He doesn't do so well with his mother. She is a very nice, very friendly woman. It's just that he is freshly moved out of his house and he can't understand why she thinks he wants to hang out with his parents. She asks a LOT of questions, and usually something that makes us uncomfortable. Like talking about having other kids. I get that she would like a grandkid, but it's just not gonna happen. Ben and I won't have any kids, so she is out of luck. At least she gets Derek, to an extent. And Ben's sister Juliette...well, she won't be able to have kids for a good long while. Until she can get out of jail that is. We got a picture of her in our Christmas card from his mom and she looks GOOD! Marina says that she is working out with any free time she has. She said that when she first went in, she got up close to 350 lbs, but now she's lost about 100!
Which is awesome.
It's the prison diet! I'm not trying to make fun of prison, it's just that I miss Juliette. Perhaps she wasn't the smartest in terms of why she is in prison, but she was always very kind to me. Perhaps she does like to steal things, but she never stole from me. I really do miss her. I could totally steal Ben's sister. =)
I'm thankful that I get along so well with his family, when I can actually get comfortable enough to talk to them.
Anyhow, Ben's ulterior motive was if we took her to the pageant, there would be singing and she wouldn't be able to ask him a bunch of questions. It makes him really uncomfortable.
See, I see both sides, like usual. One day, I'm going to be the mother who is desperate to be included in her son's life. So, I informed Ben that she doesn't necessarily think that he just wants to hang out with his parents, she is merely trying to spend time with him, and know him, and know his life and how he chooses to spend it. Her dad died recently, so I'm sure it makes her family all the more important to her. She probably feels like she is "running out of time", even though she isn't that old and she takes damn good care of herself.
Her and Derek got along great. There were a few times toward the end when I had to caution him to stop throwing himself at her. He's getting heavier and launching himself at people is just not a good idea. *smirk*
She invited him out next year to help decorate cookies and she mentioned that she would like to drive us around and look at some lights out by her house, again next year.
It's kind of late this year.
One the ride home, cause she picked me up from work, she was asking about Ben and I, and how when she mentions that we should all get together, us, and her, and Ben's dad, it's not well received. She asked if I thought Bill was creepy, and I told her no, I'm just kind of shy. I just don't want them to think that I don't like them and that's why we never make the first move. Ben just doesn't seem to want to go. He mentioned last night that his Dad had called and wanted us to go over there for some of Christmas. And right after that he said, but I got us out of that. Now I don't do well with parents, I'm generally distrustful of them, but since sometimes I actually miss my mother, I kind of miss parents in general.
Granted, there were going to be a BUNCH of people I don't know there and perhaps I didn't really want to deal with that, so I am grateful, but at the same time, it would be good to have some contact, sometimes. He's coming to us instead, so at least Ben will see his dad for Christmas, and vice versa.
Anyhow, on the ride home, I explained to her that Ben is just generally quiet and not sure what to talk about, even to his own parents, and it's not that either of us dislikes either of them, just that he doesn't know what to say, and I don't know what to say...and it doesn't make for a very exciting, nor informational visit.
She was talking to Derek and telling him that she was kind of like a third Grandma. And I'm so glad she feels that way. My parents are not around, and he needs all the grandparents he can get. Someone has to spoil him, right? Karen's parents are good about it, Jake's are not. And now we have Ben's parents who remember him and buy him presents and stuff. My dad sends stuff, but it's not the same. I mean, he couldn't pick my dad out of a line up of people. He can't really associate my dad with a face or anything, only with the fact that he gets a lot of cards, and presents at Christmas, and usually money around the holidays, and birthdays. It's not really the same. The next time my dad bugs me about pictures, I'm gonna have to bug him about the same thing. It'd be nice to have a recent picture of my dad. =)
Anyhow. It was an interesting Thursday, and I'm glad I talked with his mom away from him. She told me I was certainly more forthcoming than him, which only illustrated my point about him being quiet. I, of course, told him all about it later. I don't want him to think I'm gossiping with his mom, plus I wanted to make my point about how she only wants a bit of time from him and why. I feel like I did a good deed. I hope so.
(Also, I never really realize how much I get away with, being the girlfriend. I realized that Ben HATES having his picture taken. Do you know how many times I just snap a shot? And he just smiles at me, perhaps indulgently, but he REALLY did not want his mom to take a picture. He said that he doesn't like to "pose" for them. I guess that makes sense. So again, I was like..she just wants a picture, and I kind of made him let her take a picture. I rubbed his knee and acknowledged how much he hated it, but also told him he really should do it. That's his mom, for Chrissakes. It's kind of nice to feel like you get to do something special that other people don't get away with though, besides sex of course. It was just strange. I hadn't really realized how he doesn't want pictures taken by other people.)
Derek's pageant was SO cute. Ben invited his mom along, so that we got some holiday time with her. He had an ulterior motive though. He doesn't do so well with his mother. She is a very nice, very friendly woman. It's just that he is freshly moved out of his house and he can't understand why she thinks he wants to hang out with his parents. She asks a LOT of questions, and usually something that makes us uncomfortable. Like talking about having other kids. I get that she would like a grandkid, but it's just not gonna happen. Ben and I won't have any kids, so she is out of luck. At least she gets Derek, to an extent. And Ben's sister Juliette...well, she won't be able to have kids for a good long while. Until she can get out of jail that is. We got a picture of her in our Christmas card from his mom and she looks GOOD! Marina says that she is working out with any free time she has. She said that when she first went in, she got up close to 350 lbs, but now she's lost about 100!
Which is awesome.
It's the prison diet! I'm not trying to make fun of prison, it's just that I miss Juliette. Perhaps she wasn't the smartest in terms of why she is in prison, but she was always very kind to me. Perhaps she does like to steal things, but she never stole from me. I really do miss her. I could totally steal Ben's sister. =)
I'm thankful that I get along so well with his family, when I can actually get comfortable enough to talk to them.
Anyhow, Ben's ulterior motive was if we took her to the pageant, there would be singing and she wouldn't be able to ask him a bunch of questions. It makes him really uncomfortable.
See, I see both sides, like usual. One day, I'm going to be the mother who is desperate to be included in her son's life. So, I informed Ben that she doesn't necessarily think that he just wants to hang out with his parents, she is merely trying to spend time with him, and know him, and know his life and how he chooses to spend it. Her dad died recently, so I'm sure it makes her family all the more important to her. She probably feels like she is "running out of time", even though she isn't that old and she takes damn good care of herself.
Her and Derek got along great. There were a few times toward the end when I had to caution him to stop throwing himself at her. He's getting heavier and launching himself at people is just not a good idea. *smirk*
She invited him out next year to help decorate cookies and she mentioned that she would like to drive us around and look at some lights out by her house, again next year.
It's kind of late this year.
One the ride home, cause she picked me up from work, she was asking about Ben and I, and how when she mentions that we should all get together, us, and her, and Ben's dad, it's not well received. She asked if I thought Bill was creepy, and I told her no, I'm just kind of shy. I just don't want them to think that I don't like them and that's why we never make the first move. Ben just doesn't seem to want to go. He mentioned last night that his Dad had called and wanted us to go over there for some of Christmas. And right after that he said, but I got us out of that. Now I don't do well with parents, I'm generally distrustful of them, but since sometimes I actually miss my mother, I kind of miss parents in general.
Granted, there were going to be a BUNCH of people I don't know there and perhaps I didn't really want to deal with that, so I am grateful, but at the same time, it would be good to have some contact, sometimes. He's coming to us instead, so at least Ben will see his dad for Christmas, and vice versa.
Anyhow, on the ride home, I explained to her that Ben is just generally quiet and not sure what to talk about, even to his own parents, and it's not that either of us dislikes either of them, just that he doesn't know what to say, and I don't know what to say...and it doesn't make for a very exciting, nor informational visit.
She was talking to Derek and telling him that she was kind of like a third Grandma. And I'm so glad she feels that way. My parents are not around, and he needs all the grandparents he can get. Someone has to spoil him, right? Karen's parents are good about it, Jake's are not. And now we have Ben's parents who remember him and buy him presents and stuff. My dad sends stuff, but it's not the same. I mean, he couldn't pick my dad out of a line up of people. He can't really associate my dad with a face or anything, only with the fact that he gets a lot of cards, and presents at Christmas, and usually money around the holidays, and birthdays. It's not really the same. The next time my dad bugs me about pictures, I'm gonna have to bug him about the same thing. It'd be nice to have a recent picture of my dad. =)
Anyhow. It was an interesting Thursday, and I'm glad I talked with his mom away from him. She told me I was certainly more forthcoming than him, which only illustrated my point about him being quiet. I, of course, told him all about it later. I don't want him to think I'm gossiping with his mom, plus I wanted to make my point about how she only wants a bit of time from him and why. I feel like I did a good deed. I hope so.
(Also, I never really realize how much I get away with, being the girlfriend. I realized that Ben HATES having his picture taken. Do you know how many times I just snap a shot? And he just smiles at me, perhaps indulgently, but he REALLY did not want his mom to take a picture. He said that he doesn't like to "pose" for them. I guess that makes sense. So again, I was like..she just wants a picture, and I kind of made him let her take a picture. I rubbed his knee and acknowledged how much he hated it, but also told him he really should do it. That's his mom, for Chrissakes. It's kind of nice to feel like you get to do something special that other people don't get away with though, besides sex of course. It was just strange. I hadn't really realized how he doesn't want pictures taken by other people.)
Comments