"I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up, I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder..."
I wrote a whole long post about my sad Christmas and then decided to not have it out there in public.
Maybe I just need a fucking attitude shift.
So today. Today I am starting to change my point of view. Why do I focus on the negative?
Positive things-
1. The other day I became a cliche and told myself how I can now say "one day you will start being healthier, and not STOP when it gets hard." Yeah, fucking cliche, but it's amazing to think that all it takes is one time of not quitting to getting shit back on track.
2. I am in good health, my whole family is. Sure, we get sick sometimes, but we're generally a pretty healthy bunch.
3. Christmas is over, NYE HAS to be better. lol.
4. I have some really awesome friends. They are helpful, smart, generally don't judge me too much and certainly not as harshly as I judge myself.
5. I'm about to pay off one of my student loans! WOOOOOHOOOOO.
6. My son is no longer a slave to his emotions, somehow he's suddenly became quite capable of handling most of them. He still gets aggravated and will say OH MY GOSH sometimes, but that's miles better then screaming and kicking. My kid is awesome.
7. Ben and I will have a 13 year anniversary in March. WHOA. You know, if he doesn't suddenly realize I am too crazy and if I don't lose my shit over mostly petty aggravations.
8. 10 years at my job. That's also a big WHOA. To someone who came from not much and not going much of anywhere, just gliding along through life, now I have this.. a solid job, a 401K, insurance. I'm like....lower middle class. Or upper lower class. But certainly I'm less white trash.
9. Every day I get up and come to work is another day I'm taking care of my family and making sure we survive. That's really pretty awesome that I can, that I'm not unemployed, that I can raise my kid with another person at home to make sure his shit is handled. We may not have the most money and can't always just do what we want, but we're pretty comfortable.
10. I get my head patted almost every night before bed. I am like a cat that way. When Ben falls asleep before me, I get so aggravated. Luckily, it doesn't happen often. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not too dependent. I suppose if I had to go to bed by myself I'd get used to it. Maybe I'd listen to music again all night long.
11. The final thing cause I'm one better then 10. I am a survivor. Anything that is thrown at me will be overcome. I have proved this time and time again. NO MATTER WHAT. I will do what I have to do.
Maybe I just need a fucking attitude shift.
So today. Today I am starting to change my point of view. Why do I focus on the negative?
Positive things-
1. The other day I became a cliche and told myself how I can now say "one day you will start being healthier, and not STOP when it gets hard." Yeah, fucking cliche, but it's amazing to think that all it takes is one time of not quitting to getting shit back on track.
2. I am in good health, my whole family is. Sure, we get sick sometimes, but we're generally a pretty healthy bunch.
3. Christmas is over, NYE HAS to be better. lol.
4. I have some really awesome friends. They are helpful, smart, generally don't judge me too much and certainly not as harshly as I judge myself.
5. I'm about to pay off one of my student loans! WOOOOOHOOOOO.
6. My son is no longer a slave to his emotions, somehow he's suddenly became quite capable of handling most of them. He still gets aggravated and will say OH MY GOSH sometimes, but that's miles better then screaming and kicking. My kid is awesome.
7. Ben and I will have a 13 year anniversary in March. WHOA. You know, if he doesn't suddenly realize I am too crazy and if I don't lose my shit over mostly petty aggravations.
8. 10 years at my job. That's also a big WHOA. To someone who came from not much and not going much of anywhere, just gliding along through life, now I have this.. a solid job, a 401K, insurance. I'm like....lower middle class. Or upper lower class. But certainly I'm less white trash.
9. Every day I get up and come to work is another day I'm taking care of my family and making sure we survive. That's really pretty awesome that I can, that I'm not unemployed, that I can raise my kid with another person at home to make sure his shit is handled. We may not have the most money and can't always just do what we want, but we're pretty comfortable.
10. I get my head patted almost every night before bed. I am like a cat that way. When Ben falls asleep before me, I get so aggravated. Luckily, it doesn't happen often. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not too dependent. I suppose if I had to go to bed by myself I'd get used to it. Maybe I'd listen to music again all night long.
11. The final thing cause I'm one better then 10. I am a survivor. Anything that is thrown at me will be overcome. I have proved this time and time again. NO MATTER WHAT. I will do what I have to do.
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