Thursday, June 5th through Monday, June 9th, 2008
I'm doing as many as I can while Ben is occupied with dinner. Maybe I'll catch up, maybe not. I didn't realize I was THIS far behind. =(
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Monday, June 9th
Title: Do you really expect anything less than randomness from me?
At least this one will be quick and probably not make your head hurt.
1. I've bribed my kid. I told him if he can keep his tooth together for a YEAR, I will buy him a scooter. I'm not even kidding. If bribing will work, I'm all for it. Something has to make me less freaked out about this shit. Joking about it should help.
2. I just now felt a hair tickle my hand and I immediately thought, SPIDER! Except I was going to the bathroom and if spiders are coming out of my pants, I have much bigger problems then my kid's tooth falling off.
3. I just went looking for any old blogspot picture blog I made up having to do with the chest area, and sadly, I can not find it anywhere. You suck blogspot.
4. I have a rather lot of pictures I could add to my NSFW MySpace page idea. Now I just have to see if I really care..or if other people really care. lol.
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Monday, June 9th
Title: I had a brief thought today...
Or rather a more complex one. I've been adding people to my MySpace, and not really thinking..
Like work people. Which is fine and all, but then I realized that I had some half naked girlies on my page. Not something I should probably prance around work-related people. My love for the female form isn't something I should just pronouce to everyone. Especially some people who I work with. In Eugene, most people are fairly open minded, but there are still a few who aren't. I'm surprised I get away with being as pierced as I am...and they would be friendly if I was "gay" (what a word, I can't think of something better though!), they've been friendly to others, but I think they would not be as inclusive.
God it sucks that I have to play that game around others sometimes. I realized that other day that I don't have a sexual persona at work. I can drop my guard around some people..but it's rare, and this whole idea is weird to me. I've always been a fairly open person, fairly risque when I am allowed to be...and I've toned it down. A LOT.
But my pictures on MySpace were worrying me, so I took them down. The one of Camryn, and the .gif I had up about spankings. Plus some others.
So my thought was briefly toying with the idea of starting a more excluded MySpace where I can put the weird things that appeal to me, sexual or not.
Maybe even a clevage picture *gasp*.
But that feels like copying, cause I know this person who made up a fantastic page, put up super cute pictures, and I'd just feel like a big copier. Plus...um, I'm not classy like that. I'm low on class. My boyfriend doesn't seem to mind..but meh. I'm not just a pin up type of girl. I guess it's bothering me a bit right now. I'd like to be able to pull off a cute, classy, sexy picture..instead of full on sex.
But I'm as much of a boy as I am a girl, so perhaps my work is even more cut out for me than I think. I live in jeans, I don't own high heels (I'm a walking accident people!), t-shirts make me happy, and I'm not much for cute clothes shopping. Don't get me wrong, I have a few cute things, just not as many as my mind would like. Which is ridiculous really, cause 1. it's expensive to have really nice clothing that I would probably take as little care of as the clothing I have now, 2. I'd actually have to SHOP to find the stuff and I hate shopping (there's the boy in me coming out), 3. did I mention it's expensive?
But it would be glorious to come home and show off something that made Ben's jaw drop. I found some boots once that would have done the trick nicely, but they did not fit, so no luck there.
I guess I'm lamenting the fact that I'm so un-girly today. I'm still as sarcastic as ever, so that's something.
Additionally, I think a lot of this has to do with my perception of me lately. I rather like the way my body feels when I run a hand down my leg or something, but then I take a picture and I dislike the way it looks. WTF? That doesn't even make sense. I'm liking the muscles I can feel underneath the layer of skin, I guess? I dunno. Tomorrow, I'm off to the doctor again. Time for my next depo shot. I may lose my freaking mind if I've gained weight with the amount of energy I've put into not gaining. (see? more censoring...I never say FREAKING out loud when I am around my friends...I use more vulgar terms. Again, I have little class, I already told you.)
I know, it's all a number on a scale, but that doesn't mean I can't make myself a little more muscled and enjoy the curves that accompany it.
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Friday, June 6th
Title: Ester is famous...or at least she should be..
Jenn and I went out tonight. I got to hot tub, and I am so happy. The hotness and the ability to get my whole body under water? Something else entirely. Wish I could have a hot tub at my house, but no such luck. lol.
We went cheese shopping too, and not only did I get Dutch, I got TWO coffees cause the guy made Jenn's wrong. I'm all sorts of wacked out on caffeine now and I'm having these fantastic cucumber burps from the sushi. lol!
All in all, a very good "date", and I even got some free computer time cause the boys are still gone. I've uploaded a new video of Ester...we'll see if the embedding works this early in the game.
I <3 Ester.
And she <3's her bo bo.
I've also added some photos. And some new friends! Woot!
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Thursday, June 5th
Title: Efforts made on my mini-weekend
I worked today. Right off the bat, something was wrong. Hah. I dealt with it and silently (not so silently now) marveled over how I just did what I needed. Not so long ago, I just would have been dumbfounded and maybe even crying over such a problem.
Without being able to figure out how to deal with it.
Instead, I even tried to make my very own spreadsheet to be able to work with.
It worked a little bit, but not entirely. Luckily, by the time I needed it, the problem was resolved and I was able to use our beloved already made spreadsheet.
I'm pretty sure I would not have been able to copy it precisely, not in a day. I probably could have figured it out in the long run, but it would have taken more than a day.
My name tag should say "Excel master" instead of "Invoice M@ster" the way I'm feeling today. I even saved my tentative spreadsheet to marvel at later.
My stomach is sore today. Too full of gas. I've been eating badly. I'm sure everyone wanted to know that.
I was lazy Friday night and did mostly nothing. It felt better for my leg to do mostly nothing. The boys got home kind of late for them, Ben had tied for 1st place. Which is awesome. For him.
All I know is that means he got some cards.
Then they were up and raring to go on Saturday. I was a bit disconcerted. I think Ben forgot that I had to work today, and I certainly forgot that they can go during the day on Saturdays now.
I got rather grumpy. My leg was still hurting, my boyfriend couldn't wait to get out of bed (not usually the case on the weekend...*wink), and the mail came super early. Which meant I had to walk down to Fred Meyers on my gimpy leg to put the rent in the mailbox.
I grumped at him, he and Derek left, and I decided I'd have my coffee and try to watch a horror movie. Why not, huh? Fear net on demand had some free stuff I'd actually wanted to see.
Like Hostel and The Black Dahlia (though not really the one I thought it was..some other super weird thing) so I picked Hostel and pressed play.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!
When it got to the toe cutting part, I hit stop. I couldn't deal. A lot of T&A to begin with, and it was nice looking, but DAMN. It brought to mind instantly the ear thing from Reservoir Dogs. I can't watch that scene either, and yet I really like the song during that part.
I decided that I should not be such a baby about it and I turned it back on and fast forwarded a bit.
I lasted until about 45 minutes into it. When the guy got out the drill, I couldn't deal. I turned it off and I have not tried to watch the rest.
Ben has said he WILL NOT watch it, so I probably won't watch the rest either. Oh well. No luck on that one.
Maybe I'll find something better later.
I tried watching The Black Dahlia, but when I realized it wasn't the one I wanted to see, I gave up on it too. To much creepy laughing.
So my efforts were not rewarded, and I just went to the store instead.
I started this Sunday...I'm finishing it Thursday...sorry for the non continuity.
Anything that reads weird is because of that. Pretend it's Sunday?
Or perhaps we'll just chalk it up to life being strange and all the bullshit that's gone on this week.
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Monday, June 9th
Title: Do you really expect anything less than randomness from me?
At least this one will be quick and probably not make your head hurt.
1. I've bribed my kid. I told him if he can keep his tooth together for a YEAR, I will buy him a scooter. I'm not even kidding. If bribing will work, I'm all for it. Something has to make me less freaked out about this shit. Joking about it should help.
2. I just now felt a hair tickle my hand and I immediately thought, SPIDER! Except I was going to the bathroom and if spiders are coming out of my pants, I have much bigger problems then my kid's tooth falling off.
3. I just went looking for any old blogspot picture blog I made up having to do with the chest area, and sadly, I can not find it anywhere. You suck blogspot.
4. I have a rather lot of pictures I could add to my NSFW MySpace page idea. Now I just have to see if I really care..or if other people really care. lol.
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Monday, June 9th
Title: I had a brief thought today...
Or rather a more complex one. I've been adding people to my MySpace, and not really thinking..
Like work people. Which is fine and all, but then I realized that I had some half naked girlies on my page. Not something I should probably prance around work-related people. My love for the female form isn't something I should just pronouce to everyone. Especially some people who I work with. In Eugene, most people are fairly open minded, but there are still a few who aren't. I'm surprised I get away with being as pierced as I am...and they would be friendly if I was "gay" (what a word, I can't think of something better though!), they've been friendly to others, but I think they would not be as inclusive.
God it sucks that I have to play that game around others sometimes. I realized that other day that I don't have a sexual persona at work. I can drop my guard around some people..but it's rare, and this whole idea is weird to me. I've always been a fairly open person, fairly risque when I am allowed to be...and I've toned it down. A LOT.
But my pictures on MySpace were worrying me, so I took them down. The one of Camryn, and the .gif I had up about spankings. Plus some others.
So my thought was briefly toying with the idea of starting a more excluded MySpace where I can put the weird things that appeal to me, sexual or not.
Maybe even a clevage picture *gasp*.
But that feels like copying, cause I know this person who made up a fantastic page, put up super cute pictures, and I'd just feel like a big copier. Plus...um, I'm not classy like that. I'm low on class. My boyfriend doesn't seem to mind..but meh. I'm not just a pin up type of girl. I guess it's bothering me a bit right now. I'd like to be able to pull off a cute, classy, sexy picture..instead of full on sex.
But I'm as much of a boy as I am a girl, so perhaps my work is even more cut out for me than I think. I live in jeans, I don't own high heels (I'm a walking accident people!), t-shirts make me happy, and I'm not much for cute clothes shopping. Don't get me wrong, I have a few cute things, just not as many as my mind would like. Which is ridiculous really, cause 1. it's expensive to have really nice clothing that I would probably take as little care of as the clothing I have now, 2. I'd actually have to SHOP to find the stuff and I hate shopping (there's the boy in me coming out), 3. did I mention it's expensive?
But it would be glorious to come home and show off something that made Ben's jaw drop. I found some boots once that would have done the trick nicely, but they did not fit, so no luck there.
I guess I'm lamenting the fact that I'm so un-girly today. I'm still as sarcastic as ever, so that's something.
Additionally, I think a lot of this has to do with my perception of me lately. I rather like the way my body feels when I run a hand down my leg or something, but then I take a picture and I dislike the way it looks. WTF? That doesn't even make sense. I'm liking the muscles I can feel underneath the layer of skin, I guess? I dunno. Tomorrow, I'm off to the doctor again. Time for my next depo shot. I may lose my freaking mind if I've gained weight with the amount of energy I've put into not gaining. (see? more censoring...I never say FREAKING out loud when I am around my friends...I use more vulgar terms. Again, I have little class, I already told you.)
I know, it's all a number on a scale, but that doesn't mean I can't make myself a little more muscled and enjoy the curves that accompany it.
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Friday, June 6th
Title: Ester is famous...or at least she should be..
Jenn and I went out tonight. I got to hot tub, and I am so happy. The hotness and the ability to get my whole body under water? Something else entirely. Wish I could have a hot tub at my house, but no such luck. lol.
We went cheese shopping too, and not only did I get Dutch, I got TWO coffees cause the guy made Jenn's wrong. I'm all sorts of wacked out on caffeine now and I'm having these fantastic cucumber burps from the sushi. lol!
All in all, a very good "date", and I even got some free computer time cause the boys are still gone. I've uploaded a new video of Ester...we'll see if the embedding works this early in the game.
I <3 Ester.
And she <3's her bo bo.
I've also added some photos. And some new friends! Woot!
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Thursday, June 5th
Title: Efforts made on my mini-weekend
I worked today. Right off the bat, something was wrong. Hah. I dealt with it and silently (not so silently now) marveled over how I just did what I needed. Not so long ago, I just would have been dumbfounded and maybe even crying over such a problem.
Without being able to figure out how to deal with it.
Instead, I even tried to make my very own spreadsheet to be able to work with.
It worked a little bit, but not entirely. Luckily, by the time I needed it, the problem was resolved and I was able to use our beloved already made spreadsheet.
I'm pretty sure I would not have been able to copy it precisely, not in a day. I probably could have figured it out in the long run, but it would have taken more than a day.
My name tag should say "Excel master" instead of "Invoice M@ster" the way I'm feeling today. I even saved my tentative spreadsheet to marvel at later.
My stomach is sore today. Too full of gas. I've been eating badly. I'm sure everyone wanted to know that.
I was lazy Friday night and did mostly nothing. It felt better for my leg to do mostly nothing. The boys got home kind of late for them, Ben had tied for 1st place. Which is awesome. For him.
All I know is that means he got some cards.
Then they were up and raring to go on Saturday. I was a bit disconcerted. I think Ben forgot that I had to work today, and I certainly forgot that they can go during the day on Saturdays now.
I got rather grumpy. My leg was still hurting, my boyfriend couldn't wait to get out of bed (not usually the case on the weekend...*wink), and the mail came super early. Which meant I had to walk down to Fred Meyers on my gimpy leg to put the rent in the mailbox.
I grumped at him, he and Derek left, and I decided I'd have my coffee and try to watch a horror movie. Why not, huh? Fear net on demand had some free stuff I'd actually wanted to see.
Like Hostel and The Black Dahlia (though not really the one I thought it was..some other super weird thing) so I picked Hostel and pressed play.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!
When it got to the toe cutting part, I hit stop. I couldn't deal. A lot of T&A to begin with, and it was nice looking, but DAMN. It brought to mind instantly the ear thing from Reservoir Dogs. I can't watch that scene either, and yet I really like the song during that part.
I decided that I should not be such a baby about it and I turned it back on and fast forwarded a bit.
I lasted until about 45 minutes into it. When the guy got out the drill, I couldn't deal. I turned it off and I have not tried to watch the rest.
Ben has said he WILL NOT watch it, so I probably won't watch the rest either. Oh well. No luck on that one.
Maybe I'll find something better later.
I tried watching The Black Dahlia, but when I realized it wasn't the one I wanted to see, I gave up on it too. To much creepy laughing.
So my efforts were not rewarded, and I just went to the store instead.
I started this Sunday...I'm finishing it Thursday...sorry for the non continuity.
Anything that reads weird is because of that. Pretend it's Sunday?
Or perhaps we'll just chalk it up to life being strange and all the bullshit that's gone on this week.
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