Shoot The Moon
I'm completely blanking on relevant song lyrics lately.
You know what else? I email myself ideas all the time. My hotmail account has like...10 pages of emails from me. Little ideas to blog about, more fleshed out ideas. And yet I can't ever seem to just sit and branch out on the ideas. Then I get pissed when I want to type but don't have anything to say. But I tend to forget about the emailed ideas until I go clean out my Hotmail account. Which I hadn't checked since September last time I looked at it.
I get home and I mean to post and then all I can do is get my kid to bed, eat dinner, and sit on the bed with Ben and chill. I don't even look at the computer. Part of it is self preservation as I know that I could very well look up and realize it's almost midnight and I have to get up at 6! I'm too old to stay up so late. Especially since I wake often in the night.
I'm convinced I need a sleep number bed. It will make my waking up not happen. Sure. LOL.
And the weekends? I found Game House and am completely addicted to Text twist and playing iTunes loudly and singing. It's easy to sing loudly while just playing silly games. Not so easy when you are trying to pay attention and type.
So, I'm a slacker. Let's see...important things? I mailed out a letter to the people trying to sue me, certified mail at that. I have received nothing back and it's been a week since they got it. More than a week. I was hoping for a nice letter saying they would cease until they could prove it. Looks like I'll have to go to court and file a "motion" or "answer". Don't know what either of those means and how much it will cost, but at least I have the delivered letter as proof that I am disputing it. Shit, the time period ran out it as of the 20th. Which is why they send the last ditch effort letter. Or summons. Or whatever the hell they want to call it.
Mostly my mind is consumed with thoughts of my kid lately. Not a super surprise as he is the reason I do what I do.
We've decided that he is going to be in Portland for Thanksgiving week. Which also happens to run into his tenth birthday. 10! I know! I had a hard time with it, but consulted with a few close friends and even mentioned my misgivings to Karen who understood. In the long run, I left it up to Derek. We'll still be doing something for his birthday. A few hours and possibly one friend staying over. Then he'll leave for Portland on the 18th.
He's hanging out with his "best" friend a lot lately. It has changed from last year to a kid he liked from the year before.
He just finished Harry Potter number 6 and will often pop off with some made up word that I don't understand. He'll go on about it for awhile and then I realize that he is talking about HP and therefore, Fiction.
He's waiting to borrow HP 7 from my boss.
In the meantime? I turned him onto "A Wrinkle In Time" and he read that in about one day. He's onto the next one in the series. I need to re-read them to remember what he is talking about. Excellent bonding opportunity right there.
The harder part?
He appears to have more mood swings than a teenage girl. We were talking at dinner last night about how he once got the worst paper cut ever! and it was all fine. He finished dinner, and asked if he could turn the TV on. I said that he first needed to brush his teeth and put on pajamas. He was not ok with brushing his teeth and turned into a yowling maniac in mere moments. "Why can't you trust me to brush my teeth in 5 minutes?" and "You NEVER let me watch TV!" and "You never trust me!".
When he started yelling at me, I moved him into his room. Hard to do, the kid is too big to pick up! When he started slamming the door and trying to get to the bathroom to brush his teeth, we told him he could have his 5 minutes (in time out), and there would be no TV watching. He didn't like that, so I expressed (in a well modulated tone, hurray me!) that I had left it up to him to do what he needed to do and then he could watch TV, but he CHOSE to behave that way so there would be no TV watching now.
He calmed down, but that's only because he took his time out time to write me a hate letter. I told him I preferred it if he would write me letters instead of yelling at me. What bothers me about the note? He doesn't know how to spell Desiree.
LOL.
I've been thinking about it all morning. I know he doesn't really hate me. That's not my problem. What I'm worried about is that I used to think in terms of "never" when I was upset about something my mom did. I still remember those times as me being COMPLETELY in the right. And I don't want my kid to grow up thinking of me as I think of my mother. So, am I wrong? Have I been wrong this whole time? Was I just too melodramatic? And believe me this kid remembers a lot. That paper cut of all paper cuts? I think he was like..4 or 5 and he remembers this paper cut. Oh lord.
I'm screwed! Where did my parenting manual end up? Was it mailed to the wrong address? =)
It's laughable now, though I DID go and smoke after putting him in time out.
The talker at work says that her son sneaks out the window to ride his bike around the neighborhood. HA. My kid can't do that, he can't even ride his bike! So that was kind of funny. I'm already a step ahead!
You know what else? I email myself ideas all the time. My hotmail account has like...10 pages of emails from me. Little ideas to blog about, more fleshed out ideas. And yet I can't ever seem to just sit and branch out on the ideas. Then I get pissed when I want to type but don't have anything to say. But I tend to forget about the emailed ideas until I go clean out my Hotmail account. Which I hadn't checked since September last time I looked at it.
I get home and I mean to post and then all I can do is get my kid to bed, eat dinner, and sit on the bed with Ben and chill. I don't even look at the computer. Part of it is self preservation as I know that I could very well look up and realize it's almost midnight and I have to get up at 6! I'm too old to stay up so late. Especially since I wake often in the night.
I'm convinced I need a sleep number bed. It will make my waking up not happen. Sure. LOL.
And the weekends? I found Game House and am completely addicted to Text twist and playing iTunes loudly and singing. It's easy to sing loudly while just playing silly games. Not so easy when you are trying to pay attention and type.
So, I'm a slacker. Let's see...important things? I mailed out a letter to the people trying to sue me, certified mail at that. I have received nothing back and it's been a week since they got it. More than a week. I was hoping for a nice letter saying they would cease until they could prove it. Looks like I'll have to go to court and file a "motion" or "answer". Don't know what either of those means and how much it will cost, but at least I have the delivered letter as proof that I am disputing it. Shit, the time period ran out it as of the 20th. Which is why they send the last ditch effort letter. Or summons. Or whatever the hell they want to call it.
Mostly my mind is consumed with thoughts of my kid lately. Not a super surprise as he is the reason I do what I do.
We've decided that he is going to be in Portland for Thanksgiving week. Which also happens to run into his tenth birthday. 10! I know! I had a hard time with it, but consulted with a few close friends and even mentioned my misgivings to Karen who understood. In the long run, I left it up to Derek. We'll still be doing something for his birthday. A few hours and possibly one friend staying over. Then he'll leave for Portland on the 18th.
He's hanging out with his "best" friend a lot lately. It has changed from last year to a kid he liked from the year before.
He just finished Harry Potter number 6 and will often pop off with some made up word that I don't understand. He'll go on about it for awhile and then I realize that he is talking about HP and therefore, Fiction.
He's waiting to borrow HP 7 from my boss.
In the meantime? I turned him onto "A Wrinkle In Time" and he read that in about one day. He's onto the next one in the series. I need to re-read them to remember what he is talking about. Excellent bonding opportunity right there.
The harder part?
He appears to have more mood swings than a teenage girl. We were talking at dinner last night about how he once got the worst paper cut ever! and it was all fine. He finished dinner, and asked if he could turn the TV on. I said that he first needed to brush his teeth and put on pajamas. He was not ok with brushing his teeth and turned into a yowling maniac in mere moments. "Why can't you trust me to brush my teeth in 5 minutes?" and "You NEVER let me watch TV!" and "You never trust me!".
When he started yelling at me, I moved him into his room. Hard to do, the kid is too big to pick up! When he started slamming the door and trying to get to the bathroom to brush his teeth, we told him he could have his 5 minutes (in time out), and there would be no TV watching. He didn't like that, so I expressed (in a well modulated tone, hurray me!) that I had left it up to him to do what he needed to do and then he could watch TV, but he CHOSE to behave that way so there would be no TV watching now.
He calmed down, but that's only because he took his time out time to write me a hate letter. I told him I preferred it if he would write me letters instead of yelling at me. What bothers me about the note? He doesn't know how to spell Desiree.
LOL.
I've been thinking about it all morning. I know he doesn't really hate me. That's not my problem. What I'm worried about is that I used to think in terms of "never" when I was upset about something my mom did. I still remember those times as me being COMPLETELY in the right. And I don't want my kid to grow up thinking of me as I think of my mother. So, am I wrong? Have I been wrong this whole time? Was I just too melodramatic? And believe me this kid remembers a lot. That paper cut of all paper cuts? I think he was like..4 or 5 and he remembers this paper cut. Oh lord.
I'm screwed! Where did my parenting manual end up? Was it mailed to the wrong address? =)
It's laughable now, though I DID go and smoke after putting him in time out.
The talker at work says that her son sneaks out the window to ride his bike around the neighborhood. HA. My kid can't do that, he can't even ride his bike! So that was kind of funny. I'm already a step ahead!
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