Random Thoughts

All the nights I can't sleep due to being sick I start to get bitter. When B was perpetually feverish and couldn't sleep at night, if I woke up and found him shivering; I'd go over and talk to him, rub his leg. Thought maybe it'd make the "witching hour" a little less lonely for him. Where's my nighttime companion? I don't think he even remembers it. And now he thinks he's getting my stupid virus and I'm like really? Did I not get this from you? Should I just get a fucking hotel room so we can stop making each other sick? He did let me have the bed for the past two nights but is that why he seems annoyed and detached? If so, I'd rather have companionship. One of those "be careful what you wish for scenarios" I guess.

I've found that I need to express myself again. And while the group I'm in on facebook is wonderful, I'm starting to feel like I'm the sole poster and the whole Debbie downer of the group. So here I am again, blogspot. Let's see how long I keep this up.  -------------------------------------- I don't know when it happened, but I'm pretty sure somewhere over the course of the day I have filled myself with hate. I hate training, I hate everyone in this office. I hate getting up every morning to work in an office filled with assholes to make money that is never enough in the long run. I hate feeling like I'm the best employee ever and getting paid less than the terrorists. But the thing I hate the most? MAKE A PLAN AND STICK WITH IT. Don't come in at 1:58 and say can I ever go to lunch like we're fucking late when you said 2 PM. That means 2. A better way to be less of an asshole would be...can I go now? I'm at a good st...

1. SHUT THE FUCK UP. The talker will not stop talking today. I don’t want to know about her boyfriend’s shoes or how she’s trying to play matchmaker for her 21 year old daughter. She sounds like a spoiled brat so who would want to date her anyways? 2. Nobody cares what you’re talking about, talker. Yeah, sensing a pattern? I’ve been stuck with her all day and I’m slowly going crazy. I had to try and explain the bus schedule to her and she just kept talking about how she didn’t want to go to Springfield and I tell her to look on the other side and she says if she reads it from right to left, she’s really confused and I finally have to say LOOK AT THE LAST TWO TIMES ONLY. That is all you want! How is life this hard for her? How does she tie her shoes? 3. You’re such a bitch. This is not about the talker, merely another co-worker. And she really is. Her resting bitch face extends all the way down to her personality. I would like to tell her that she does not have to say every snarky t...

"Charles with the bacon vault?" I'll be damned if I know what the hell I meant by this but I bet Charles was talking about how cool a bacon vault would be. Or maybe he had a pun-ny joke about it? Like vaulting bacon? Man I miss that guy. He was....so awesome. Smart, friendly, funny......wasn't afraid to wear a dress. The world needs more men like him. 

So without the devil at work anymore (oh yeah, she quit and I didn’t blog about it but the two people who read this know anyhow); work is great. It is also slow as hell right now, and apparently our time used to be filled with a lot of chasing after her shit because I find myself done faster and searching in vain for work to keep me busy. I’m not the only one either. What sucks is that we have too many bodies here, until football season and then we need every damned one. So unless we just hire seasonal work, we have to have this many bodies. Apparently when the older ladies retire, they don’t plan on filling their positions. So more work for me, right? And maybe more pay? (one can hope)…but when things get crazy will I be able to be 3 fucking people? The plan right now is for another co-worker to transition more over into what my boss does and I would probably take over expenses and keep doing financials, etc. The co-worker knows almost nothing about accounting and the guy who...

OMG. Haha. That title spoke the most to me, but I can totally see people being led astray on google searches. LOL. At least I can find amusement somewhere. This morning the clucking hens have already started. Apparently they are bitter about our newest full time person having to do more inventories. He was already doing some last year and the year before. Do my boss and I know more about inventory? Maybe we do, but how will he learn? Yes, he’s kind of a suck up, yes he does seem to talk and delegate more than working. Those are my issues with him and he is kind of a suck up, but he’s a nice kid. He’s pleasant, he shows up, he’s not a bitter old bitch. And he wants to know more. So WHY THE FUCK do we care if he’s doing more of the inventory stuff? I HATE inventory. I get all the shit inventories that are left over with the stupid managers who don’t understand fucking inventory. So I don’t give a shit if he takes it over. My luck, he won’t take it over and I’ll still get it ...

Was sitting and wondering what I even have to write about. My inane topics are fly by night, moment’s notice, on a whim….but I have so much HISTORY. I could write about my history. I really like the idea of keeping this blog up, it’s been there for me when I didn’t have an ear to talk to. The relative anonymity of the internet appeals to me. I’m no Dooce or anything like that. But I do like that after some breaks where I didn’t blog at all I can come back to it. Facebook is not so helpful, since I am friends with everyone from my boss to my mom. Meh. No amount of even pretend anonymity and I share so openly……people are probably like why? Why am I friends with this woman? And now it’s too late to unfriend her without it being awkward. Hell, I have those people myself. So I was thinking what of my history would be the best. I suppose all of it. I’m not trying to be Debbie downer today and I’m in a relatively good mood so we’ll stay away from the sexual abuse stuff….. My earl...

Today I hate everything and I want to cry. It wasn’t always this way. I woke up and knew it was going to be a rough day. But I decided to hell with it, I was gonna power through it. And that would’ve been fine, until it got rougher. And rougher. Culminating in my being blamed for hiring the last idiot we hired (even though it was not just me who hired him, like I have that power); and basically being told I should’ve obviously known better. That idiot has been gone for A LONG TIME NOW. So what does it matter who hired him? And why bring it up? Why so fucking bitter? Some days I hate my fellow accountants. They all seem so angry and bitter. The only person I work with who is an older woman who isn’t fucking bitter is because she’s too dumb to be bitter. I’m just fucking sad about life now. Two days off does not seem like enough time to recover and I only just got back from vacation. =( I don’t get it. Are all accountants this way? Do I try and wait these bitch...

Really blogger? What are you doing down there with that post? I will try to fix it, but can't do it today probably...boo blogger...you are stupid.

I love tax time. I love having the bit of extra, it makes me SO happy and carefree, something I really don't get to experience 10 months out of the year. That's not even the completely awesome thing though. I am getting better at telling B when shit bothers me and he's getting better at it too and I'm not even getting defensive about it! Is this what time does? I mean, we don't yell and I still have to mostly text my gripes so I don't break down in tears...but he labeled an action of mine as passive aggressive and he was totally right and I'm actually happy he called me on it. Communication is the best. I appreciate that I can say something and not have to be worried that he's going to be too mad or leave me. That's not going to happen.   So anyhow. That's awesome. I LOVE being able to say what's on my mind and I love that we are getting better at talking.   In other, less awesome news, the child is freaking GROUNDED. I'm not...