Me all weekend - let’s eat fried things and sugar.
One - this gets B to leave. Then I get alone time. I can podcast. Masturbate. Watch porn. Sing as loud as I want.
Two - I really did have some cravings. Last night after he gets back, I said sorry, I must be getting my period or something. I want to eat ALL EAT THE THINGS.
Thinking I was kinda joking.
Joke is on me this morning.
Fuck periods. At least I didn’t get it for Valentines which is what I figured would happen.
Ugh. I’ll just be here. Under my heated blanket (probably sharing it with a spider too) with my hot water bottle on my thigh, my back, if only I could get it directly on my uterus.
I have a hazy memory of laying in the sun in my grandma’s backyard. I don’t know if she was still alive. If I had my period already, she wasn’t. I just very vividly recollect the feeling of drowsiness and general well being as I lay in the yard on my stomach in my black jeans. The heat of the sun created this lovely warmth in my stomach. The afternoon sun made me feel liquid and languid. As if I were a cold blooded creature collecting heat while I could find it.
For some reason I think of this moment when I get my periods now. If only I could redo that moment. Maybe I’d find a cure for these cramps.
And because I’m almost 40, I can’t remember if this was before or after grandma died. They may not have sold the house as quickly as it felt like.
Either way - it’s a memory from Colorado so it’s from before I was 13. That’s all I’m sure about.
One - this gets B to leave. Then I get alone time. I can podcast. Masturbate. Watch porn. Sing as loud as I want.
Two - I really did have some cravings. Last night after he gets back, I said sorry, I must be getting my period or something. I want to eat ALL EAT THE THINGS.
Thinking I was kinda joking.
Joke is on me this morning.
Fuck periods. At least I didn’t get it for Valentines which is what I figured would happen.
Ugh. I’ll just be here. Under my heated blanket (probably sharing it with a spider too) with my hot water bottle on my thigh, my back, if only I could get it directly on my uterus.
I have a hazy memory of laying in the sun in my grandma’s backyard. I don’t know if she was still alive. If I had my period already, she wasn’t. I just very vividly recollect the feeling of drowsiness and general well being as I lay in the yard on my stomach in my black jeans. The heat of the sun created this lovely warmth in my stomach. The afternoon sun made me feel liquid and languid. As if I were a cold blooded creature collecting heat while I could find it.
For some reason I think of this moment when I get my periods now. If only I could redo that moment. Maybe I’d find a cure for these cramps.
And because I’m almost 40, I can’t remember if this was before or after grandma died. They may not have sold the house as quickly as it felt like.
Either way - it’s a memory from Colorado so it’s from before I was 13. That’s all I’m sure about.
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