I don’t even need this thing.

An ode to my procreational bits. 

I call it 


Tricky little bitch. 


I go pee. I wipe. I study the toilet paper like it’s a religious tome. Does it look slightly pink? Will it ever? Did I get magically, elderly uterus pregnant for Christmas? It IS 2020! 


On impulse I wipe again. Blood all over. Where the fuck was it hiding the first time?? 


Is she magic? Thanks for ruining New Year’s Eve uterus! 

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